I mean they were really nice and friendly, it's more of a me problem, i can't talk in a group where there are multiple people speaking at once unless we're all friends already and discord is not an app i use frequently and it's very confusing sometimes, so yeah, it definitely shoots up the good ol' SA, but it's okay, thank you for caring <3
Turning 23 in a week and same tbh. I've had this thing for as long as i can remember, i'm not sure if i'll ever get to a point where it doesn't stop me from having normal life
That's me, days to weeks to months.... To years in a few cases. Its a horrible cycle of avoiding even looking at the message for a bit first then reading it and getting so overwhelmed thinking about how to reply so I tell myself I'll get back to it when I'm ready. News flash: I'm never "ready" and just thinking about thinking about responding makes me panicky so i continue to not respond while also feeling increasingly anxious about the fact that I haven't responded and I need to asap because I owe it the person on the other end and I know that I wouldn't want want someone possibly ghosting me so I shouldn't do it..... But the anxiety still won't let me and more and more texts and emails and direct messages build up and now it seems so daunting, an insurmountable mountain so difficult I don't know where to begin!
Being suffocated as a child by your parents, by them making your inherent human value conditioned on what you do and not who you are, and this will turn you into a "human doing" and not a "human being", because you start to feel like you need to do something to feel valued and worthy.
I'm in the same situation, no friends and can only go with my mom. It's a Coldplay concert and she doesn't really dig them, but she's joining me 'cause she knows it'll make me happy, and I'm 22F. I say go with your mom, no one is going to notice, everyone will be there to have a good time :)
This reminded me of last year when I first got a taste of cool Halloween decorations at a store and got sad thinking that I would really love to attend/host a Halloween party with friends, but well, no friends :(
Some people (usually people who are extroverted, not very shy, DEFINITELY don't have SA or are not neurodivergent) take perpetual silence as sign that you're being rude or have no manners, 'cause talking is what "normal" people do. In reality, silence and feeling inadequate and insecure and like they're not being liked is what drives them to think you're a "bad person", which is, of course, not true
Yeah, it's called dissociation. Basically, you space out of the conversation to avoid feeling anxious or hurt and instead focus on what you're doing and saying so you can feel some sense of control over the situation. I personally can't remember important details of what the other person says, 'cause I'm too focused on not fucking up and appearing functional and like I don't have a social disorder :/
Basically forcing yourself into situations you’re afraid of instead of avoiding them. So…if you get anxious talking to others , get a job working in customer service so you’re constantly forced to interact with others so you no longer fear it.
I'm really happy for you! This is great progress! Although my own SA is still very severe, this sub has made it slightly more bearable and makes me feel less ashamed about it :)
I think the goal is to try to decrease it to the point where the symptoms (whether physical or mental/emotional) get so reduced that you don't qualify for the social anxiety disorder diagnosis anymore. Just mild symptoms that may make things slighty harder for you than for the rest, but only on ocassion and they certainly don't stop you from having a healthy social life or a life in general.
Hey, I'm sure you did great! Congrats on going and making it through :)
I had a bad experience with my last haircut, so right now I'm frightened to go to a salon, even though I need it
I joined a discord chat someone made here, but it was too overwhelming :(
I’m so sorry to hear that, the last thing I want is for ppl to feel overwhelmed 😞Is there anyone we can do that would make you feel more comfortable?
I mean they were really nice and friendly, it's more of a me problem, i can't talk in a group where there are multiple people speaking at once unless we're all friends already and discord is not an app i use frequently and it's very confusing sometimes, so yeah, it definitely shoots up the good ol' SA, but it's okay, thank you for caring <3
I feel way more anxious in real life than online, but it's easier to carry a conversation face to face than through messsages
Turning 23 in a week and same tbh. I've had this thing for as long as i can remember, i'm not sure if i'll ever get to a point where it doesn't stop me from having normal life
Yes, it's my only source of friends due to very severe SA :(
That's me, days to weeks to months.... To years in a few cases. Its a horrible cycle of avoiding even looking at the message for a bit first then reading it and getting so overwhelmed thinking about how to reply so I tell myself I'll get back to it when I'm ready. News flash: I'm never "ready" and just thinking about thinking about responding makes me panicky so i continue to not respond while also feeling increasingly anxious about the fact that I haven't responded and I need to asap because I owe it the person on the other end and I know that I wouldn't want want someone possibly ghosting me so I shouldn't do it..... But the anxiety still won't let me and more and more texts and emails and direct messages build up and now it seems so daunting, an insurmountable mountain so difficult I don't know where to begin!
This is the most accurate anxious rant I've read about this subject
I'll probably back out in like 2 days 'cause well, SA. But i'd love to join!
Not sure if socially anxious, but i definitely feel more comfortable around someone who is way more shy than me
OP did mentioned about group therapy helps. Y'all wanna make a group together?
I'll join!
Only if the guy seems inoffensive and i'm not attracted to him lol
Being suffocated as a child by your parents, by them making your inherent human value conditioned on what you do and not who you are, and this will turn you into a "human doing" and not a "human being", because you start to feel like you need to do something to feel valued and worthy.
Holy shit, this really hit home
My favourtite song right now is Petite Blonde by Janie, I'm in a sort of french pop loophole at the moment
I'm your friend now, so there you have one :)
Hey, it's my birthday too ahahah
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
I'm in the same situation, no friends and can only go with my mom. It's a Coldplay concert and she doesn't really dig them, but she's joining me 'cause she knows it'll make me happy, and I'm 22F. I say go with your mom, no one is going to notice, everyone will be there to have a good time :)
This reminded me of last year when I first got a taste of cool Halloween decorations at a store and got sad thinking that I would really love to attend/host a Halloween party with friends, but well, no friends :(
22F, never been on a date. Never had an in person boyfriend, just an online one, but it didn't last
Some people (usually people who are extroverted, not very shy, DEFINITELY don't have SA or are not neurodivergent) take perpetual silence as sign that you're being rude or have no manners, 'cause talking is what "normal" people do. In reality, silence and feeling inadequate and insecure and like they're not being liked is what drives them to think you're a "bad person", which is, of course, not true
Yeah, it's called dissociation. Basically, you space out of the conversation to avoid feeling anxious or hurt and instead focus on what you're doing and saying so you can feel some sense of control over the situation. I personally can't remember important details of what the other person says, 'cause I'm too focused on not fucking up and appearing functional and like I don't have a social disorder :/
Basically forcing yourself into situations you’re afraid of instead of avoiding them. So…if you get anxious talking to others , get a job working in customer service so you’re constantly forced to interact with others so you no longer fear it.
I tried getting a job at customer service and i gave up right as i was about to get hired, so baby steps is also okay :)
I'm really happy for you! This is great progress! Although my own SA is still very severe, this sub has made it slightly more bearable and makes me feel less ashamed about it :)
I straight up make playlists of songs THEY may like.
Hey happy birthday, hope things get better soon :)
I think the goal is to try to decrease it to the point where the symptoms (whether physical or mental/emotional) get so reduced that you don't qualify for the social anxiety disorder diagnosis anymore. Just mild symptoms that may make things slighty harder for you than for the rest, but only on ocassion and they certainly don't stop you from having a healthy social life or a life in general.