sandylane5


























  1. Hey, I'm sure you did great! Congrats on going and making it through :)

  2. Let's say you have a cool tattoo slightly sticking out from under your clothes, around the neck line or sleeve. Let's say you're the server at a restaurant or maybe some guy on the subway..

  3. I guess the difference between someone who doesn't have SA and someone who does in this example is that the person who doesn't does not really mind if the interaction goes nowhere or doesn't lead to a full conversation or comes off as rude, but for someone with SA that is literally all we think about: it coming off as awkward or going wrong or even the interaction ending up being dangerous (like talking to the wrong person at the wrong time). Even if it DOES work, that interaction in itself feels like a burden 'cause the feeling that it might go wrong lingers throughout the entire conversation so you end up with zero energy at the end of it instead of "beaming". It goes from being a refreshing experience in theory to a stressing one in practice and it becomes very easy to develop a fear afterwards and therefore, an avoidance of social interactions overall

  4. I had a bad experience with my last haircut, so right now I'm frightened to go to a salon, even though I need it

  5. I joined a discord chat someone made here, but it was too overwhelming :(

  6. I’m so sorry to hear that, the last thing I want is for ppl to feel overwhelmed 😞Is there anyone we can do that would make you feel more comfortable?

  7. I mean they were really nice and friendly, it's more of a me problem, i can't talk in a group where there are multiple people speaking at once unless we're all friends already and discord is not an app i use frequently and it's very confusing sometimes, so yeah, it definitely shoots up the good ol' SA, but it's okay, thank you for caring <3

  8. I feel way more anxious in real life than online, but it's easier to carry a conversation face to face than through messsages

  9. Turning 23 in a week and same tbh. I've had this thing for as long as i can remember, i'm not sure if i'll ever get to a point where it doesn't stop me from having normal life

  10. Yes, it's my only source of friends due to very severe SA :(

  11. That's me, days to weeks to months.... To years in a few cases. Its a horrible cycle of avoiding even looking at the message for a bit first then reading it and getting so overwhelmed thinking about how to reply so I tell myself I'll get back to it when I'm ready. News flash: I'm never "ready" and just thinking about thinking about responding makes me panicky so i continue to not respond while also feeling increasingly anxious about the fact that I haven't responded and I need to asap because I owe it the person on the other end and I know that I wouldn't want want someone possibly ghosting me so I shouldn't do it..... But the anxiety still won't let me and more and more texts and emails and direct messages build up and now it seems so daunting, an insurmountable mountain so difficult I don't know where to begin!

  12. This is the most accurate anxious rant I've read about this subject

  13. I'll probably back out in like 2 days 'cause well, SA. But i'd love to join!

  14. This is probably the reason why exposure therapy is so difficult for me. My brain is still on "if you set one foot outside by yourself, you're gonna get k*lled" like how am I supposed to try this therapy if my brain can't even fathom dealing with -what I believe to be- a dangerous experience?

  15. Anything with a boss or someone that can demand things from you whenever they want/scream at you if you fuck things up.

  16. Not sure if socially anxious, but i definitely feel more comfortable around someone who is way more shy than me

  17. I'm hoping the best for you! I've had SAD all my life, OCD too, but it only hit as a kid and now it's pretty much non existent and had depression at 13 and attempted at 17, but recovered afterwards, the thoughts come and go, but the self h*rming behaviours do not. You can do this!! I believe in you :)

  18. Only if the guy seems inoffensive and i'm not attracted to him lol

  19. Being suffocated as a child by your parents, by them making your inherent human value conditioned on what you do and not who you are, and this will turn you into a "human doing" and not a "human being", because you start to feel like you need to do something to feel valued and worthy.

  20. My favourtite song right now is Petite Blonde by Janie, I'm in a sort of french pop loophole at the moment

  21. I'm your friend now, so there you have one :)

  22. Hey, it's my birthday too ahahah

  23. I'm in the same situation, no friends and can only go with my mom. It's a Coldplay concert and she doesn't really dig them, but she's joining me 'cause she knows it'll make me happy, and I'm 22F. I say go with your mom, no one is going to notice, everyone will be there to have a good time :)

  24. This reminded me of last year when I first got a taste of cool Halloween decorations at a store and got sad thinking that I would really love to attend/host a Halloween party with friends, but well, no friends :(

  25. 22F, never been on a date. Never had an in person boyfriend, just an online one, but it didn't last

  26. Some people (usually people who are extroverted, not very shy, DEFINITELY don't have SA or are not neurodivergent) take perpetual silence as sign that you're being rude or have no manners, 'cause talking is what "normal" people do. In reality, silence and feeling inadequate and insecure and like they're not being liked is what drives them to think you're a "bad person", which is, of course, not true

  27. Yeah, it's called dissociation. Basically, you space out of the conversation to avoid feeling anxious or hurt and instead focus on what you're doing and saying so you can feel some sense of control over the situation. I personally can't remember important details of what the other person says, 'cause I'm too focused on not fucking up and appearing functional and like I don't have a social disorder :/

  28. Basically forcing yourself into situations you’re afraid of instead of avoiding them. So…if you get anxious talking to others , get a job working in customer service so you’re constantly forced to interact with others so you no longer fear it.

  29. I tried getting a job at customer service and i gave up right as i was about to get hired, so baby steps is also okay :)

  30. I'm really happy for you! This is great progress! Although my own SA is still very severe, this sub has made it slightly more bearable and makes me feel less ashamed about it :)

  31. I straight up make playlists of songs THEY may like.

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