My goodness? What’s so bad about Ontario? I’ve never been and I’ve just never heard this. I’m surprised at so much anger and vitriol towards a Canadian province. Here in the US, we think of all of Canada as just nice and sweet and pleasant. Except in temperature. So I’m just surprised to hear that.
I don't know. I love in Ontario and I don't see a real problem with living here. The GTA is a bit rough (around Toronto).. especially since they are Leafs fans. But the rest is rather beautiful.
Thank you for this answer. My dogs also knew I was pregnant before I did. For one, her behaviour changed alot. She went from sleeping downstairs with her sister (her choice) to being velcro to me. Sleeping write beside my side of the bed and staring intensely. When we tried to restrict where she could sleep, she refused. We decided to crate train her (something she used to be comfortable with pre pregnancy) in n our room and she screamed. For weeks. We worked hard on training her while the pregnancy advanced.
I think some of the eye contact is the "eye" some herders use to move stock. Mine are trained not to stare at people eating for this reason, in some it is really intense.
NTA.if he can't stay conscious while you are doing all the work of giving birth, he gets less of a say. Also, your sister's name absolutely trumps you MIL name.
That's a good thing. You don't want to be this guy. Ever. She keeps her side gig money in a box to save herself. She literally shovels shit in a neighbor's barn to replenish her emergency fund.
Well I don’t really understand the breast comment. Doesn’t breastfeeding make you lose weight? Not a mum myself but I’ve seen photos of my mum after having two kids and she was very skinny (with big boobs). And asked about it she told me bout the breastfeeding thing. Anyways, give yourself time to bounce back and for the love of god your baby didn’t ask to be brought to the world! You did, you wanted them so why are you mad at them?! Edit: Look obviously I don’t need 47367 people telling me it’s not true. The fact you didn’t lose weight is well, your story. But few others wrote that they did. So I guess it depends on a person, but is not really a misconception since it works for some women.
To a degree, this is true. The hormones you release while you breast feed help contract your uterus back to its original size fsster. But while you breastfeed, your body also release hormones to make you hungrier so you eat enough calories to produce milk. You generally hold an extra 10lbs or so on your body while you breast feed as well.
There isn't. We met and married while she was at college. My wife and I moved to a house together. She visits, but just avoids.my wife. They don't really have much of a relationship at all honestly.
While your daughter was at college or your wife was at college? I.e., are your daughter and wife in the same age range? The wording seems kind of vague.
In situations like this where one partner makes a lot more money but demands the other partner pay 50%, my first thought is always “deliberate financial abuse to keep her broke so she can’t afford to leave him”. If he’s making that much more, either he’s making obscene amounts of money, or she makes very little. If she’s carrying half the bills, she has a lot less disposable income left over than he does. Meaning she has less available to squirrel away in preparation for leaving him, less to put towards a lawyer, etc.
By leaving him though, she should make some bank in the divorce. Unless they have a prenup, usually they have to split assets 50/50 and he's been hoarding his cash since she pays so much of the bills. She could get some good alimony too. Not a lawyer here. Would love to hear the advice from one.
The fact that Connie wants to keep the house and car while contributing nothing goes to show how much of a leach she is. I think you need to hear this:
I agree. The sentiment is right, but it's better to use other techniques to deduce what someone wants with a bit more subtlty. The wording as it's normally phrased can so easily come off as insensitive and dismissive.
Maybe something more like "I want to be here for you in the best way I can. What is the best way I can support you? Do you need to vent? Or do you want me to help you problem solve?"
I think this is the missing piece. Based on their conversations, he definitely had an opportunity to ask her if she would like him to help her problem solve, or just listen.
I think that with some hard work, we'll both end up in a better position. We need to get out of debt, and I'm taking the reins for a bit since he's never lived frugally before, but if all goes well, we'll get through this.
Read the total money makeover. It might help. I found the zero based budget super helpful. Or "every dollar" program is free for their basic services, if you are in the US
I wonder if the bride's demands has to do with the bride's mother's physique, age, comfort level in tailored clothes and style. Maybe the bride is afraid that OP will make her mom look frumpy in comparison? Maybe the geriatric pantsuit look is bride's mom's style.
I strongly disagree with other people saying kids should learn with cash. Your kids need to learn with a plastic card that it is MONEY. There’s countless cashless businesses and it’s only growing. It’s better to teach kids proper financial habits with a card that they’ll use 100% more than cash in the future. By the time your kids are in their 20s how common do you think cash truly will be? (I like and prefer cash but I also won’t just ignore what the future likely will be)
Absolutely they need to learn how to use debit cards. But you don't learn how to bike down a mountain hill. You start with training wheels. . cash are the training wheels. It's a visual aid to learn the value of money.. especially for the ages mentioned by OP. E.g. that hour of work got you that one bill. It takes ten of those bills to buy that toy. Oh, you have 12 bills. Ok, so now you can visually see you only have 2 left after buying that toy. Once they visually understand the concept of money using cash, you can teach the abstract concepts that are related to using cards. You have to know that behind each swipe is that money that you first learned about with cash
For kids, learning with cash is more visual and helps them learn that they only have a finite amount. Cards don't show you when you are low on a balance or not. Cash is the better learning tool
I don't understand why your wife thinks she is the only person in your relationship that has the authority or privilege to bring up this request of sleeping with different partners. If she is confident bringing it up, then you should be allowed to as well.
I will never understand why people get married THAT young. His brain isn't even fully developed yet (under 21) . Why get married when you aren't your full grown adult self yet and have so much left to discover about yourself and life? There isn't enough maturity and self awareness at <21 to be good freaking spouse.
For us, we started with a low interest car loan (3%, I think) that was a second lowest balance (only had 6 months left). It seemed random, but we had gotten a chunk of money and knocking that debt out first freed up $500 per month in payments to work on the other debts. If I had paid off my lowest balance first, it would have only freed up $50. If I had gone with my highest interest, I don't think it would have made any difference or freed up any additional payments to work on anything else. So this worked for us.
In my opinion, if you broke up with him, it would have nothing to do with the surgery and everything to do with him trying to pressure you into sex acts when you have been very clear that you don't want to. He is ignoring your boundaries.
"However, OP needs to hear the BF's no about bottom surgery. BF has now expressed it a couple times that he does not want OP involved with the timing of his decision so OP needs to stop bringing it up ."
Buy original yogurt (no flavour). I get a Balkan yogurt with 6%. Get the flavour of jam in the flavour you want. Mix together. You can control the amount of sugar and flavour. So good.
I got major ick vibes from him. He just had a vibe where he clearly got told how great he was as a kid. At one point he says he's surprised that Caleb doesn't see how motivated and good he's doing. Or something like that. Like he's upset Caleb won't pat him on the head.
My goodness? What’s so bad about Ontario? I’ve never been and I’ve just never heard this. I’m surprised at so much anger and vitriol towards a Canadian province. Here in the US, we think of all of Canada as just nice and sweet and pleasant. Except in temperature. So I’m just surprised to hear that.
I don't know. I love in Ontario and I don't see a real problem with living here. The GTA is a bit rough (around Toronto).. especially since they are Leafs fans. But the rest is rather beautiful.
GTA? Grand Theft Auto?
Yes... And Great Toronto Area. Both are true of the same area.
Edit: NAH,
Thank you for this answer. My dogs also knew I was pregnant before I did. For one, her behaviour changed alot. She went from sleeping downstairs with her sister (her choice) to being velcro to me. Sleeping write beside my side of the bed and staring intensely. When we tried to restrict where she could sleep, she refused. We decided to crate train her (something she used to be comfortable with pre pregnancy) in n our room and she screamed. For weeks. We worked hard on training her while the pregnancy advanced.
I think some of the eye contact is the "eye" some herders use to move stock. Mine are trained not to stare at people eating for this reason, in some it is really intense.
This is a really interesting point.
NTA.if he can't stay conscious while you are doing all the work of giving birth, he gets less of a say. Also, your sister's name absolutely trumps you MIL name.
I just watched the trailer and it gave me anxiety
That's a good thing. You don't want to be this guy. Ever. She keeps her side gig money in a box to save herself. She literally shovels shit in a neighbor's barn to replenish her emergency fund.
I kind of want to see this ... Because Jude Law. But... I think I'd be constantly having an anxiety attack
Congratulations!!!
Well I don’t really understand the breast comment. Doesn’t breastfeeding make you lose weight? Not a mum myself but I’ve seen photos of my mum after having two kids and she was very skinny (with big boobs). And asked about it she told me bout the breastfeeding thing. Anyways, give yourself time to bounce back and for the love of god your baby didn’t ask to be brought to the world! You did, you wanted them so why are you mad at them?! Edit: Look obviously I don’t need 47367 people telling me it’s not true. The fact you didn’t lose weight is well, your story. But few others wrote that they did. So I guess it depends on a person, but is not really a misconception since it works for some women.
To a degree, this is true. The hormones you release while you breast feed help contract your uterus back to its original size fsster. But while you breastfeed, your body also release hormones to make you hungrier so you eat enough calories to produce milk. You generally hold an extra 10lbs or so on your body while you breast feed as well.
There isn't. We met and married while she was at college. My wife and I moved to a house together. She visits, but just avoids.my wife. They don't really have much of a relationship at all honestly.
While your daughter was at college or your wife was at college? I.e., are your daughter and wife in the same age range? The wording seems kind of vague.
In situations like this where one partner makes a lot more money but demands the other partner pay 50%, my first thought is always “deliberate financial abuse to keep her broke so she can’t afford to leave him”. If he’s making that much more, either he’s making obscene amounts of money, or she makes very little. If she’s carrying half the bills, she has a lot less disposable income left over than he does. Meaning she has less available to squirrel away in preparation for leaving him, less to put towards a lawyer, etc.
By leaving him though, she should make some bank in the divorce. Unless they have a prenup, usually they have to split assets 50/50 and he's been hoarding his cash since she pays so much of the bills. She could get some good alimony too. Not a lawyer here. Would love to hear the advice from one.
Here is the thing. You will no longer be married to her. DONT PAY FOR HER HOUSING!
The fact that Connie wants to keep the house and car while contributing nothing goes to show how much of a leach she is. I think you need to hear this:
I agree. The sentiment is right, but it's better to use other techniques to deduce what someone wants with a bit more subtlty. The wording as it's normally phrased can so easily come off as insensitive and dismissive.
Maybe something more like "I want to be here for you in the best way I can. What is the best way I can support you? Do you need to vent? Or do you want me to help you problem solve?"
This is the kind of thing that would have talked to my wife about first.
I think this is the missing piece. Based on their conversations, he definitely had an opportunity to ask her if she would like him to help her problem solve, or just listen.
Congratulations!!!
I think that with some hard work, we'll both end up in a better position. We need to get out of debt, and I'm taking the reins for a bit since he's never lived frugally before, but if all goes well, we'll get through this.
Read the total money makeover. It might help. I found the zero based budget super helpful. Or "every dollar" program is free for their basic services, if you are in the US
Radio personality who gives financial advice. His baby steps helped my husband and I get out of debt. We had like $75k in debt at one point.
Agreed. His investing advice is not great. What he excels at is motivation to get out of debt and stay out of debt. And do it fast
Yeah, im just wondering if I should even try to work this out
Nope. I think this girl is trying to discover what's best for her. Which is fine. But not while she is supposed to be in a committed relationship.
I wonder if the bride's demands has to do with the bride's mother's physique, age, comfort level in tailored clothes and style. Maybe the bride is afraid that OP will make her mom look frumpy in comparison? Maybe the geriatric pantsuit look is bride's mom's style.
I strongly disagree with other people saying kids should learn with cash. Your kids need to learn with a plastic card that it is MONEY. There’s countless cashless businesses and it’s only growing. It’s better to teach kids proper financial habits with a card that they’ll use 100% more than cash in the future. By the time your kids are in their 20s how common do you think cash truly will be? (I like and prefer cash but I also won’t just ignore what the future likely will be)
Absolutely they need to learn how to use debit cards. But you don't learn how to bike down a mountain hill. You start with training wheels. . cash are the training wheels. It's a visual aid to learn the value of money.. especially for the ages mentioned by OP. E.g. that hour of work got you that one bill. It takes ten of those bills to buy that toy. Oh, you have 12 bills. Ok, so now you can visually see you only have 2 left after buying that toy. Once they visually understand the concept of money using cash, you can teach the abstract concepts that are related to using cards. You have to know that behind each swipe is that money that you first learned about with cash
Learn with cash and add the cards down the road. Way too early IMO.
For kids, learning with cash is more visual and helps them learn that they only have a finite amount. Cards don't show you when you are low on a balance or not. Cash is the better learning tool
I think it was Ken who complained.
Probably. Ken is the worst
YTA for your sleep. I'm in the wife's position right now and omg what I wouldn't do for a nights sleep.
I don't understand why your wife thinks she is the only person in your relationship that has the authority or privilege to bring up this request of sleeping with different partners. If she is confident bringing it up, then you should be allowed to as well.
YTA
I will never understand why people get married THAT young. His brain isn't even fully developed yet (under 21) . Why get married when you aren't your full grown adult self yet and have so much left to discover about yourself and life? There isn't enough maturity and self awareness at <21 to be good freaking spouse.
Mine goes to groceries. I stretch the grocery money further when it's cash.
For us, we started with a low interest car loan (3%, I think) that was a second lowest balance (only had 6 months left). It seemed random, but we had gotten a chunk of money and knocking that debt out first freed up $500 per month in payments to work on the other debts. If I had paid off my lowest balance first, it would have only freed up $50. If I had gone with my highest interest, I don't think it would have made any difference or freed up any additional payments to work on anything else. So this worked for us.
In my opinion, if you broke up with him, it would have nothing to do with the surgery and everything to do with him trying to pressure you into sex acts when you have been very clear that you don't want to. He is ignoring your boundaries.
I completely agree here. It is not cool that the BF is pressuring OP to do sexual acts that OP is not comfortable with.
"However, OP needs to hear the BF's no about bottom surgery. BF has now expressed it a couple times that he does not want OP involved with the timing of his decision so OP needs to stop bringing it up ."
That's why I started with agreeing completely with the first commenters comment about the BF needing to not pressure and hearing the no.
I’ve had multiple occurances where I want to get regular yogurt and the flavor I want is only offered in low fat.
Buy original yogurt (no flavour). I get a Balkan yogurt with 6%. Get the flavour of jam in the flavour you want. Mix together. You can control the amount of sugar and flavour. So good.
Do you go to the Russian or Indian food store for it?
Just a normal grocery store.
I got major ick vibes from him. He just had a vibe where he clearly got told how great he was as a kid. At one point he says he's surprised that Caleb doesn't see how motivated and good he's doing. Or something like that. Like he's upset Caleb won't pat him on the head.
If she’s working why is he paying for her car 😭😭
They are married. It's their car