NTA. It's not your responsibility to watch these kids - ever. Did you get married to be a free babysitter while your husband is gone for days and nights? Hope not.
NTA. Have to ask though, if you are the provider and take care of kids and home, what does your husband bring into the relationship besides this baggage? I don't see why his opinion even matters till he can produce a home with enough room for his kid.
NTA but your husband is full of BS. He pretended to believe that his ex had an abortion instead of following up to make sure. You probably wouldn't have married him if you knew he had kids so it'd fully all on him. You owe this kid nothing. Oh and I don't believe your husband didn't know about her. He just chose to " not know".
NTA. You are even too nice with them here. They clearly are conditioning you to help with the baby when it comes. Instead of help, you can be a burden. There are many ways to make the life of the new mom harder (without hurting the baby of course). Making noise when they sleep, hiding diapers, emptying out wipes, etc and baam, your dad's wife will be begging him to minimize custody time within a few weeks and you don't have to be there at all. With trash people like that, that's the way. Be petty but creative.
NTA. Issy has no mortgage payment as the house is paid for in the trust. Miles' school is being paid for. And she should be getting survivor benefits as well. That's a better financial situation compared to many other single parents. If she can't manage her remaining expenses, that's her problem and not on Miles. She sounds financially irresponsible so Dave was right to protect his money for his son. Just cause he was married to single mom, doesn't make those other kids entitled to his money. It's possible that she didn't even let him have a parental role at all.
NTA. You owe nada to Dave and his brats. Biggest AH here is Lily. Clearly, she is too busy trying to please her new pair of pants in the house while her kids have taken the back seat. I bet they are been forced into babysitting Dave's spawn all the time and now they cannot even spend time with OP without so called "bonus" siblings.
My grandparents accepted me and treated me identically to their biological grandchildren after their son made the decision to stay with his wife and adopt the affair baby (yours truly).
NTA. She's not family and clearly you had enough of your parents forcing her on your as "family" and its your wedding your rules. You shouldn't resent her that much though as it's not her fault that your leach SIL basically dumped herself and her sister on your household.
NTA. This is your first child and it's an important milestone that you don't need to share with your husband's kid. I'm sure it's important for the grandparents too so just have a party with them like you planned and he can do whatever he wants, don't help him with any planning and scale back on pick ups and drop offs, that's not your responsibility at all, your focus should be on your baby.
NTA. Even bio parents want time away from clingy kids quite often. Your husband is a jerk and should explain to HIS son that you can't be with him all the time and maybe be more involved himself with him, childcare shouldn't be on you. Oh and 6 year old sleeps in your bed all the time? How did u even get a chance to get pregnant at all? Sorry for the mess you got yourself into. Reddit hates stepparents by the way. They are evil by default no matter what they do.
NTA for not wanting to deal with not your circus and the clowns. YTA to yourself for getting yourself into this relationship in the first place. Too much baggage, is it worth it?
NTA. If i were you, I'd laugh in her face and make my wedding 100% child-free. If your sister is so entitled, I can only imagine how spoiled her kids must be. They'll most likely ruin your day and she'll gladly enable that too just to spite you.
NTA. If your son wanted to invite Adam, he would have told you. Was your son invited to neighbors party in the past? If Adam invited your son to his parties, it would be rude to exclude him.
NTA. Your family except your mom all suck. Your bratty sister tried to claim your gift as hers and lied about it. Obviously they weren't meant for her so kudos for calling her out. Your mom should be able to call and say the tickets were stolen since they indeed were - by your AH dad. Aren't all tickets online these days anyway? There's gotta be an easy way to transfer them to you only and your dad and step can f off.
I was going to say YTA and you need to grow up. But then I realize that if I'm reading correctly your BF who is 13 years older than you with kids of his own needs your income to not be homeless? A grown ass man with kids isn't able to hold down a fort for a couple of weeks without you? What if you get actually sick? Why the heck are you with him? Age difference alone and he's broke? Have to wonder. At 23 it's understandable that your earning potential might not yet be high but at 36, he can do better for sure if he wants a much younger Gf and a new baby. Can he even support his kids now? Sounds like no. I'd wait on getting pregnant again for now till your financial situation is better or till you are in a better relationship. So ESH and that was a good test of your partner (he failed).
Yikes YTA. This was not a time to compare to others who might be less fortunate, it's not like she was complaining about some trivial matter like for example how traumatizing the food at the hospital was. Why didn't you mention then how privileged she was that her child survived at all because she's able to afford quality medical care and many cannot? Does your sister have no right to be traumatized by this whole ordeal just because of her so called privilege? Weird logic you have.
NTA. Did she not try to move Charlie into the attic yet? This is giving me total Cinderella Story vibes (lol yes the Hillary Duff one). And who the heck leaves a 10 year old alone for so long? She has a right to spend time with just her daughters of course but in a more appropriate way, this case wasn't acceptable at all. I am curious though if you take out all three girls without her when she's working?
NTA. No good deed goes unpunished. If I were you, I'd discontnue your babysitting services right there. If that's her attitude, next thing she'll do is demand child support for assuming a "fatherly role" since you've been doing all these things for her or accuse you of some inappropriate stuff. Letting an unrelated minor sleep in your bed? Hell no! Hope you got cameras at least.
I think it's equally inhumane to leave the dog suffering. She should definitely have put her dog now, out of its sufferings as well as elevating herself of this financial burden when she clearly can't afford it.
How old is the dog? I had to go through this last year due to congestive heart failure. The vet said I could pay and keep bringing him to pump liquid out of his lungs on regular basis which would extend his time with us but that was no way to live for a poor thing.
Oh wow, so young. That's really sad. But 15k a month on recurring basis isn't sustainable. Even pet insurance won't cover all of this if she had any. Tough call here for you, sorry.
NTA to be an AH in this case lol. He lied to you about going alone, didn't want you to join, told you to plan your own vacation and then gets mad that you did exactly that? A little time apart (especially on a beach with lots of drinks) would be great for you. If he can spend his time grieving while climbing with his friend then you can support him in his grieving process while on a beach drinking margaritas.
NTA for wanting a child free wedding. Kids don't belong in black tie events. But since the parents are paying they will most likely force you into allowing kids seeing how they already made you make multiple changes. I hope you are able to stand your ground.
My kids always come first. She literally asked to kick out his 19yo. He isn't taking care of her son because he's in Iran, but he does handle 4 of the 5 alone. She is getting help with the newborn. Apparently, your user name is incredibly accurate.
Everyone's feelings should be equally considered and respected and compromises can be made. Oh and the 19 year "kid" called her a witch - nice, right? The guy will be adding another failed relationship to his list soon.
After she called his father a prick. Funny how you missed that point. While he was watching her newborn and letting her sleep. I think you're right, but it'll be a bullet dodged for him. It's not a failed relationship if you're protecting your kids from a witch.
I didn't miss it, she called the dad a prick and not the son. Dad is a prick. He's a prick and she is a witch. Sounds like a match made in hell lol. Anyway, she's a hormonal mess right now, maybe even has post partum depression, she might have some outbursts. Don't get why everyone is dismissing her feelings and emotions and just tells her to suck it up. She just asked for one week break, not to abandon his kids forever.
Info: babysitter wasn't an option? The place doesn't sound child friendly at all but you could have left the baby at home with someone and enjoyed a night out.
Unfortunately no or I definitely would’ve dropped him off haha. My family lives 12+ hours away, his family is 3+ hours away and we don’t have any local babysitters/Nanny’s we trust.
Aww that's too bad! Hopefully you can get those baby headphones with noise canceling if you do decide to go. I saw them on a baby in a bar with live music and he seemed to be not bothered by noise as much. NTA on not wanting to go, you had your child's interest at heart and for you your child's comfort should come first rather than what "bonus kids" want to do.
NTA. You have been living together for like 3 months. You did not assume any parental responsibility including financial support of your GF's kid. She has two parents for that. As long as you are treating her with respect and it sounds like she is not derived of necessities, you do not owe her any shopping trips.
NTA. It's not your responsibility to watch these kids - ever. Did you get married to be a free babysitter while your husband is gone for days and nights? Hope not.
NTA. Have to ask though, if you are the provider and take care of kids and home, what does your husband bring into the relationship besides this baggage? I don't see why his opinion even matters till he can produce a home with enough room for his kid.
NTA but your husband is full of BS. He pretended to believe that his ex had an abortion instead of following up to make sure. You probably wouldn't have married him if you knew he had kids so it'd fully all on him. You owe this kid nothing. Oh and I don't believe your husband didn't know about her. He just chose to " not know".
NTA. You are even too nice with them here. They clearly are conditioning you to help with the baby when it comes. Instead of help, you can be a burden. There are many ways to make the life of the new mom harder (without hurting the baby of course). Making noise when they sleep, hiding diapers, emptying out wipes, etc and baam, your dad's wife will be begging him to minimize custody time within a few weeks and you don't have to be there at all. With trash people like that, that's the way. Be petty but creative.
NTA. They've been married for few months, this kid is basically a stranger and you put your niece's feelings first especially since her own dad won't.
NTA. Issy has no mortgage payment as the house is paid for in the trust. Miles' school is being paid for. And she should be getting survivor benefits as well. That's a better financial situation compared to many other single parents. If she can't manage her remaining expenses, that's her problem and not on Miles. She sounds financially irresponsible so Dave was right to protect his money for his son. Just cause he was married to single mom, doesn't make those other kids entitled to his money. It's possible that she didn't even let him have a parental role at all.
NTA. You owe nada to Dave and his brats. Biggest AH here is Lily. Clearly, she is too busy trying to please her new pair of pants in the house while her kids have taken the back seat. I bet they are been forced into babysitting Dave's spawn all the time and now they cannot even spend time with OP without so called "bonus" siblings.
My grandparents accepted me and treated me identically to their biological grandchildren after their son made the decision to stay with his wife and adopt the affair baby (yours truly).
They are faking it. Just wait till the will comes out. Nothing to be bragging about.
They're not faking it, they're just good people.
You are definitely lucky to have them in your life.
NTA. She's not family and clearly you had enough of your parents forcing her on your as "family" and its your wedding your rules. You shouldn't resent her that much though as it's not her fault that your leach SIL basically dumped herself and her sister on your household.
NTA. This is your first child and it's an important milestone that you don't need to share with your husband's kid. I'm sure it's important for the grandparents too so just have a party with them like you planned and he can do whatever he wants, don't help him with any planning and scale back on pick ups and drop offs, that's not your responsibility at all, your focus should be on your baby.
NTA. Even bio parents want time away from clingy kids quite often. Your husband is a jerk and should explain to HIS son that you can't be with him all the time and maybe be more involved himself with him, childcare shouldn't be on you. Oh and 6 year old sleeps in your bed all the time? How did u even get a chance to get pregnant at all? Sorry for the mess you got yourself into. Reddit hates stepparents by the way. They are evil by default no matter what they do.
NTA for not wanting to deal with not your circus and the clowns. YTA to yourself for getting yourself into this relationship in the first place. Too much baggage, is it worth it?
NTA. If i were you, I'd laugh in her face and make my wedding 100% child-free. If your sister is so entitled, I can only imagine how spoiled her kids must be. They'll most likely ruin your day and she'll gladly enable that too just to spite you.
NTA. If your son wanted to invite Adam, he would have told you. Was your son invited to neighbors party in the past? If Adam invited your son to his parties, it would be rude to exclude him.
NTA. Your family except your mom all suck. Your bratty sister tried to claim your gift as hers and lied about it. Obviously they weren't meant for her so kudos for calling her out. Your mom should be able to call and say the tickets were stolen since they indeed were - by your AH dad. Aren't all tickets online these days anyway? There's gotta be an easy way to transfer them to you only and your dad and step can f off.
I was going to say YTA and you need to grow up. But then I realize that if I'm reading correctly your BF who is 13 years older than you with kids of his own needs your income to not be homeless? A grown ass man with kids isn't able to hold down a fort for a couple of weeks without you? What if you get actually sick? Why the heck are you with him? Age difference alone and he's broke? Have to wonder. At 23 it's understandable that your earning potential might not yet be high but at 36, he can do better for sure if he wants a much younger Gf and a new baby. Can he even support his kids now? Sounds like no. I'd wait on getting pregnant again for now till your financial situation is better or till you are in a better relationship. So ESH and that was a good test of your partner (he failed).
Yikes YTA. This was not a time to compare to others who might be less fortunate, it's not like she was complaining about some trivial matter like for example how traumatizing the food at the hospital was. Why didn't you mention then how privileged she was that her child survived at all because she's able to afford quality medical care and many cannot? Does your sister have no right to be traumatized by this whole ordeal just because of her so called privilege? Weird logic you have.
NTA. Did she not try to move Charlie into the attic yet? This is giving me total Cinderella Story vibes (lol yes the Hillary Duff one). And who the heck leaves a 10 year old alone for so long? She has a right to spend time with just her daughters of course but in a more appropriate way, this case wasn't acceptable at all. I am curious though if you take out all three girls without her when she's working?
NTA. No good deed goes unpunished. If I were you, I'd discontnue your babysitting services right there. If that's her attitude, next thing she'll do is demand child support for assuming a "fatherly role" since you've been doing all these things for her or accuse you of some inappropriate stuff. Letting an unrelated minor sleep in your bed? Hell no! Hope you got cameras at least.
I think it's equally inhumane to leave the dog suffering. She should definitely have put her dog now, out of its sufferings as well as elevating herself of this financial burden when she clearly can't afford it.
How old is the dog? I had to go through this last year due to congestive heart failure. The vet said I could pay and keep bringing him to pump liquid out of his lungs on regular basis which would extend his time with us but that was no way to live for a poor thing.
She's only 2 years old.
Oh wow, so young. That's really sad. But 15k a month on recurring basis isn't sustainable. Even pet insurance won't cover all of this if she had any. Tough call here for you, sorry.
NTA to be an AH in this case lol. He lied to you about going alone, didn't want you to join, told you to plan your own vacation and then gets mad that you did exactly that? A little time apart (especially on a beach with lots of drinks) would be great for you. If he can spend his time grieving while climbing with his friend then you can support him in his grieving process while on a beach drinking margaritas.
NTA for wanting a child free wedding. Kids don't belong in black tie events. But since the parents are paying they will most likely force you into allowing kids seeing how they already made you make multiple changes. I hope you are able to stand your ground.
My kids always come first. She literally asked to kick out his 19yo. He isn't taking care of her son because he's in Iran, but he does handle 4 of the 5 alone. She is getting help with the newborn. Apparently, your user name is incredibly accurate.
Everyone's feelings should be equally considered and respected and compromises can be made. Oh and the 19 year "kid" called her a witch - nice, right? The guy will be adding another failed relationship to his list soon.
After she called his father a prick. Funny how you missed that point. While he was watching her newborn and letting her sleep. I think you're right, but it'll be a bullet dodged for him. It's not a failed relationship if you're protecting your kids from a witch.
I didn't miss it, she called the dad a prick and not the son. Dad is a prick. He's a prick and she is a witch. Sounds like a match made in hell lol. Anyway, she's a hormonal mess right now, maybe even has post partum depression, she might have some outbursts. Don't get why everyone is dismissing her feelings and emotions and just tells her to suck it up. She just asked for one week break, not to abandon his kids forever.
Info: babysitter wasn't an option? The place doesn't sound child friendly at all but you could have left the baby at home with someone and enjoyed a night out.
Unfortunately no or I definitely would’ve dropped him off haha. My family lives 12+ hours away, his family is 3+ hours away and we don’t have any local babysitters/Nanny’s we trust.
Aww that's too bad! Hopefully you can get those baby headphones with noise canceling if you do decide to go. I saw them on a baby in a bar with live music and he seemed to be not bothered by noise as much. NTA on not wanting to go, you had your child's interest at heart and for you your child's comfort should come first rather than what "bonus kids" want to do.
NTA. You have been living together for like 3 months. You did not assume any parental responsibility including financial support of your GF's kid. She has two parents for that. As long as you are treating her with respect and it sounds like she is not derived of necessities, you do not owe her any shopping trips.