It took several years, many talks, a lot contemplating and a lot loneliness. When I realised I'd feel less lonely alone it became less scary and in the end so liberating. It's hard with kids in the equation. But I will say it was for the better for all of us. We are happier and the kids see us happier. They adjusted fine. It's been a year and they are 8 and 10 now. I wish you all the best.
Honestly, this will help weed out any people who don’t deserve you anyway; if any future dating partner takes issue with your mastectomy, they are not worthy of the love you have to offer. It sucks that so much of our worth is tied to parts of our bodies—for women and people with breasts especially—but you can be hot and sexy without boobs!!!! I wish you the best of luck with everything ❤️❤️
17 yrs is a VERY long time. Life is short and you've only got one. I don't have any other advice than JUST DO IT. I hope you'll give yourself this new chance at life and love
You can do this. It's always hard with kids involved but kids are happier with happy parents. You are in a "priveleged" position with regard to financial independence. Be brave for yourself and your kids. Life is too short. Like you I spent pretty much 9 yrs pondering. I can only say that although it's a process to separate lives, my life is so much better now. I m breathing and living again. Life is for living. I wish you all the best.
I (f46) fell in love one month ago- totally unexpectedly with the kindest person; good looking soul mate (m48). It's only been 4 wks, I know. But it just feels right and I feel we've known each other much longer. He has kids, I have kids, so it's not easy logistically, but I cherish every minute I spend with him. To experience this at a mature age feels like the greatest blessing. I wish you all the same.
Sorry, didn't mean to discourage you. I do believe good things will happen to good people. I hope you won't give up. Things will work out in the end. Just hold on to you chair and take one day at a time.
When you feel lonely together. When you don't share the same love language and are not willing or able to do or give what the other person needs. -It ended in divorce for us. After years of trying, and talking, and therapy. It was for the better. I wish you all the best.
I can understand your stress and feeling overwhelming. Just remember, you cannot dl all at once. Take one day at a time. Thing will fall into place, also for your daughter. As long as you treat each other with respect and are fairly amicable your daughter will be ok. It's also important learning for kids to see that it's possible to change your life and turn things around for the better if it's not working. And to learn that sometimes you have to be brave.
I don't mean to ask this is a condescending way or anything. I'm just curious. Why did you marry him? The description is not exactly positive so I'm just wondering if he changed drastically or you just hoped or thought he would have other qualities?
Oh no, very sorry to hear. I wish people hadn't told you what you should do. But they probably meant well. Although my exis a different story I can relate to falling for a different person to what I needed after having kids and going through challenges of life. I wish you all the best.
I see friends, watch Netflix with a glass of wine, take care of animals (got involved in a local animal shelter), see my mum, read, clean the apt if I feel like, and postpone it if I want to:-). I also try to work out for 20 mins once or twice a week: I aim low:-) I love it!
I can relate to yr wife's behaviour. For me, the hard part (which took forever) was before we made the decision to split. It was agonising, frustrating and sad for SO long when we were thinking, going in circles, doubting etc. Once it was decided, I wouldn't say I was happy, but a huge burden was lifted, and I felt lighter and relieved the thought spinning and back and forth had come to an end. At least I was sure what was happening. It lifted my spirit enormously even though it's a dramatic change for the whole family. Maybe your XW just wants to feel OK. I wish you all the best.
I don't mean to be harsh but I think missing the other person is not the first thing on your mind if you're contemplating divorce. Once you're thinking about divorce, you're probably quite far down the line. I hope you'll be OK no matter what.
I was scared. BUT loving it now! I love the independence. I'm friendly with ex and we coparent well, so it's the best of both worlds. Seems wrong to glorify divorce, but what can I say; life is better now. Kids are 7 and 9 and have coped well (1yr since I moved out). I was so concerned about 50/50 but I'm more present and conscious of my time with the kids.It probably depends on your personality and situation, but for me it's been a blessing so far.
My adoption anniversary was yesterday. I lose my shit every year in December then a few months later on my birthday. It's so much fun
I hear you. All the best to you
You have no reason to apologise. I think the doctor should have opted for priesthood instead.
It took several years, many talks, a lot contemplating and a lot loneliness. When I realised I'd feel less lonely alone it became less scary and in the end so liberating. It's hard with kids in the equation. But I will say it was for the better for all of us. We are happier and the kids see us happier. They adjusted fine. It's been a year and they are 8 and 10 now. I wish you all the best.
This is no good. Save yourself and get out.
Honestly, this will help weed out any people who don’t deserve you anyway; if any future dating partner takes issue with your mastectomy, they are not worthy of the love you have to offer. It sucks that so much of our worth is tied to parts of our bodies—for women and people with breasts especially—but you can be hot and sexy without boobs!!!! I wish you the best of luck with everything ❤️❤️
What this person said!!
17 yrs is a VERY long time. Life is short and you've only got one. I don't have any other advice than JUST DO IT. I hope you'll give yourself this new chance at life and love
Love this post! Well done!
You can do this. It's always hard with kids involved but kids are happier with happy parents. You are in a "priveleged" position with regard to financial independence. Be brave for yourself and your kids. Life is too short. Like you I spent pretty much 9 yrs pondering. I can only say that although it's a process to separate lives, my life is so much better now. I m breathing and living again. Life is for living. I wish you all the best.
Condolences
I (f46) fell in love one month ago- totally unexpectedly with the kindest person; good looking soul mate (m48). It's only been 4 wks, I know. But it just feels right and I feel we've known each other much longer. He has kids, I have kids, so it's not easy logistically, but I cherish every minute I spend with him. To experience this at a mature age feels like the greatest blessing. I wish you all the same.
Omg your post was too hard to read. You totally did not deserve this. I'm so sorry for what you're faced with. I wish you all the best
Makes me feel like giving up.
Sorry, didn't mean to discourage you. I do believe good things will happen to good people. I hope you won't give up. Things will work out in the end. Just hold on to you chair and take one day at a time.
Go for as long as you want!
When you feel lonely together. When you don't share the same love language and are not willing or able to do or give what the other person needs. -It ended in divorce for us. After years of trying, and talking, and therapy. It was for the better. I wish you all the best.
I can understand your stress and feeling overwhelming. Just remember, you cannot dl all at once. Take one day at a time. Thing will fall into place, also for your daughter. As long as you treat each other with respect and are fairly amicable your daughter will be ok. It's also important learning for kids to see that it's possible to change your life and turn things around for the better if it's not working. And to learn that sometimes you have to be brave.
I don't mean to ask this is a condescending way or anything. I'm just curious. Why did you marry him? The description is not exactly positive so I'm just wondering if he changed drastically or you just hoped or thought he would have other qualities?
Two things…
Oh no, very sorry to hear. I wish people hadn't told you what you should do. But they probably meant well. Although my exis a different story I can relate to falling for a different person to what I needed after having kids and going through challenges of life. I wish you all the best.
I see friends, watch Netflix with a glass of wine, take care of animals (got involved in a local animal shelter), see my mum, read, clean the apt if I feel like, and postpone it if I want to:-). I also try to work out for 20 mins once or twice a week: I aim low:-) I love it!
I can relate to yr wife's behaviour. For me, the hard part (which took forever) was before we made the decision to split. It was agonising, frustrating and sad for SO long when we were thinking, going in circles, doubting etc. Once it was decided, I wouldn't say I was happy, but a huge burden was lifted, and I felt lighter and relieved the thought spinning and back and forth had come to an end. At least I was sure what was happening. It lifted my spirit enormously even though it's a dramatic change for the whole family. Maybe your XW just wants to feel OK. I wish you all the best.
I felt lonely together with him.
I don't mean to be harsh but I think missing the other person is not the first thing on your mind if you're contemplating divorce. Once you're thinking about divorce, you're probably quite far down the line. I hope you'll be OK no matter what.
I was scared. BUT loving it now! I love the independence. I'm friendly with ex and we coparent well, so it's the best of both worlds. Seems wrong to glorify divorce, but what can I say; life is better now. Kids are 7 and 9 and have coped well (1yr since I moved out). I was so concerned about 50/50 but I'm more present and conscious of my time with the kids.It probably depends on your personality and situation, but for me it's been a blessing so far.
Excellent post, and one of the top side effects of finally being free.
Love what you said
👏👏👏
Thoughts and hugs