NTA You did nothing wrong. At best she’s being honest about what an impulsive, immature person she is. At worst she had something hoped for or even planned for with this guy and grabbed an excuse. Then this a toxic re-entry into a relationship that’ll never have the same trust. Heal and look forward to new, hopefully healthier experiences in future relationships. Move on with your life
Since this lady was wild enough to follow you home - don’t let your dog outside unattended and make sure she doesn’t toss anything into your yard. Get cameras just to be safe.
Dump him. Even without the dogs, you deserve someone supportive and empathetic towards your desires and what is important to you. He is not willing to help you with them. What else will he be demanding or withholding on when he doesn’t get his way? You hit the nail on the head-he knew you had these dogs when you started to date. Presuming they’d go away now is an absolute 🚩 And others are correct-it’s a great fear if you proceed that he would harm, lose/dispose of the dogs somehow to exert his will.
My friend’s grandma was used to cooking for at least a dozen people and took pride in still hosting big meals. Grandma would only allow women to help. So the women in the family would warn people what -not- to eat because Grandma’s vision was going. She would not read labels for expiration, not see bugs, mold, hairs etc. She also would not always remember what day she made a dish.
We have an unwritten rule in our family that no one gets called about anyone’s death whilst they are on holiday, especially overseas (I’m in U.K.) The rationale is that there is nothing that can be done and a few days is not going to make a blind bit of difference. We have the rest of our lives to process the event and why ruin precious time away?
My fam has that same rule, including to NOT relay news of pet deaths while owner is on holiday. It won’t bring the pet back. NOW if there’s a chance it can allow person to make it in time to say goodbye - that’s different. But if they already died, there’s no sense making someone end their holiday, spend hours traveling back (and possibly get injured in trying to hold it together while traveling back).
Opossum-people talk about horrible ways of killing them for looking scary/being mean. Shit a big part of surviving in the wild is hoping nobody calls your bluff. Don’t get me wrong - opossums will often fight back. But many don’t until after they’ve tried to bluff, “played opossum”. Some never fight back before being beat or attacked :(
NTA - a friend of mine had an ex like this guy. She saw the red flags 🚩 and broke things off after he kept peeing places he shouldn’t in his drunken escapades. Thus the nickname “pee pants”. Except he also peed in closets, corners of rooms, and a fridge.
I don’t get upset at anyone for ordering same as me. I do get a lil anxious though that I’ll wind up not receiving the full amount I would have normally if I’d had a different order. Sometimes I’ve had same dish as someone else at the table and it’s obvious restaurant just made a larger batch, split it in half; however, wound up skimping one order’s quantity (or both orders wind up a bit smaller). I can’t blame them for trying to save time but they should assure both dishes are the quality/quantity they should be.
Nearing 7 months in, doing well professionally. Not doing great physical fitness wise. Some things are better but the weight isn’t and admittedly I haven’t been doing enough about it. Emotionally-well, been better. But that always seems to be my lot and I think I just need to accept it. Stop hoping one day it’ll change/get better because I am not willing to sacrifice the happiness of others for a little bit more for myself. So it is what it is.
NAL, but I work in estate planning and look at medical POA’s all day long. Obviously you should consult with the attorney who drew up the POA and ask for a refresher on how they work before taking my word or anyone else’s here, but that’s really not how a medical power of attorney works. When you signed that document, it basically created a chain of command in case you were unable to make decisions for yourself. Your mom, as your agent, only gets to use that power of attorney to make decisions on your behalf when you are incapacitated.
He’s 57. NY, not a community property state. I’m flying in early Tues and will hope to be there when she meets with the hospice people. A DNR is the one thing she has — he signed those yesterday.
NAL but worked as a hospice social worker - POA is only good for what it defines as the assigned person’s abilities. The easiest is to be the POA for healthcare. What takes time, which is currently of the essence, is POA for finances. I see you sadly say a lawyer may not be timely enough. If you can, I’d still say that’s best but in the interim, have your brother make his wife #1 at least the beneficiary on his financial accounts or #2 ideally just contact the financial and billing agencies to add her to the accounts so she can have access.
NTA You did nothing wrong. At best she’s being honest about what an impulsive, immature person she is. At worst she had something hoped for or even planned for with this guy and grabbed an excuse. Then this a toxic re-entry into a relationship that’ll never have the same trust. Heal and look forward to new, hopefully healthier experiences in future relationships. Move on with your life
Bald Angry Purple and green I would say this is a fun representation
Since this lady was wild enough to follow you home - don’t let your dog outside unattended and make sure she doesn’t toss anything into your yard. Get cameras just to be safe.
Dump him. Even without the dogs, you deserve someone supportive and empathetic towards your desires and what is important to you. He is not willing to help you with them. What else will he be demanding or withholding on when he doesn’t get his way? You hit the nail on the head-he knew you had these dogs when you started to date. Presuming they’d go away now is an absolute 🚩 And others are correct-it’s a great fear if you proceed that he would harm, lose/dispose of the dogs somehow to exert his will.
I would irreparably make plans to break up and move on with my life.
NTA-if bro wants to give you any lip about it, he can pound sand too.
My friend’s grandma was used to cooking for at least a dozen people and took pride in still hosting big meals. Grandma would only allow women to help. So the women in the family would warn people what -not- to eat because Grandma’s vision was going. She would not read labels for expiration, not see bugs, mold, hairs etc. She also would not always remember what day she made a dish.
Espresso brownies !!! My coworkers always rave about them
What a day to be literate
I think it’s great!!
Guys’ forearms I guess I want them arms around me while the guy is saying attentive, filthy things to me quietly
We have an unwritten rule in our family that no one gets called about anyone’s death whilst they are on holiday, especially overseas (I’m in U.K.) The rationale is that there is nothing that can be done and a few days is not going to make a blind bit of difference. We have the rest of our lives to process the event and why ruin precious time away?
My fam has that same rule, including to NOT relay news of pet deaths while owner is on holiday. It won’t bring the pet back. NOW if there’s a chance it can allow person to make it in time to say goodbye - that’s different. But if they already died, there’s no sense making someone end their holiday, spend hours traveling back (and possibly get injured in trying to hold it together while traveling back).
NTA-
I agree NTA And I even agree with
Give long yellow 🍌
Opossum-people talk about horrible ways of killing them for looking scary/being mean. Shit a big part of surviving in the wild is hoping nobody calls your bluff. Don’t get me wrong - opossums will often fight back. But many don’t until after they’ve tried to bluff, “played opossum”. Some never fight back before being beat or attacked :(
NTA - a friend of mine had an ex like this guy. She saw the red flags 🚩 and broke things off after he kept peeing places he shouldn’t in his drunken escapades. Thus the nickname “pee pants”. Except he also peed in closets, corners of rooms, and a fridge.
Mom of twins and a slightly older kiddo - that lady can F off. You’re fine to have used the spot!
I don’t get upset at anyone for ordering same as me. I do get a lil anxious though that I’ll wind up not receiving the full amount I would have normally if I’d had a different order. Sometimes I’ve had same dish as someone else at the table and it’s obvious restaurant just made a larger batch, split it in half; however, wound up skimping one order’s quantity (or both orders wind up a bit smaller). I can’t blame them for trying to save time but they should assure both dishes are the quality/quantity they should be.
Nearing 7 months in, doing well professionally. Not doing great physical fitness wise. Some things are better but the weight isn’t and admittedly I haven’t been doing enough about it. Emotionally-well, been better. But that always seems to be my lot and I think I just need to accept it. Stop hoping one day it’ll change/get better because I am not willing to sacrifice the happiness of others for a little bit more for myself. So it is what it is.
NAL, but I work in estate planning and look at medical POA’s all day long. Obviously you should consult with the attorney who drew up the POA and ask for a refresher on how they work before taking my word or anyone else’s here, but that’s really not how a medical power of attorney works. When you signed that document, it basically created a chain of command in case you were unable to make decisions for yourself. Your mom, as your agent, only gets to use that power of attorney to make decisions on your behalf when you are incapacitated.
^ THIS ^ I’m NAL but a medical social worker and too often people think POA means, “Now the POA is the boss.”
2 and if you’re willing please share where you got it 😊
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Thank you!!!
He’s 57. NY, not a community property state. I’m flying in early Tues and will hope to be there when she meets with the hospice people. A DNR is the one thing she has — he signed those yesterday.
NAL but worked as a hospice social worker - POA is only good for what it defines as the assigned person’s abilities. The easiest is to be the POA for healthcare. What takes time, which is currently of the essence, is POA for finances. I see you sadly say a lawyer may not be timely enough. If you can, I’d still say that’s best but in the interim, have your brother make his wife #1 at least the beneficiary on his financial accounts or #2 ideally just contact the financial and billing agencies to add her to the accounts so she can have access.
Silverplate by E.G. Webster and Son, 1880s-1920s
Thank you very much for the info!
I also love the episode with Patrick Stewart
Where There’s Smoke There’s Fired
Spite
You could have done the right thing and warned the poor woman off BEFORE she married the ‘lying, lazy bastard’ …
Yeah I would have had I not been 7 years old at the time and afraid of that uncle for various reasons
John Mulaney vibes from this exchange.
“I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under!”