Stop competing at the top of your budget. Look for houses one step down so you can actually bid up a bit. Build up your equity and get the bigger house you want down the road.
Basically what I had to do, I'm not in the size house I wanted or the age. It's old and small but it's what I could afford on my own. I figured in 5 years from now I can try again for a bigger and newer house but for now I had to compromise. It's not a dream home but it'll do for now.
Everytime I mention having ocd they ask so you click the light 3 times? It's frustrating because there's so many different things ocd can be. If someone moves my monitor or something on my desk at work it'll take at least a half hour for me to get it perfect again, I can't have TV volumes on a odd number, i never take the plastic wrap off of things like monitors or tvs either lol. Had my TV for probably 4 years and it still has some of the plastic around the bezel. It's like people think I'm joking and will be like she's ocd lol, but not realize i will cry and freak out if I can't get the monitor to be in the exact correct space according to my mind, etc. It sucks.
Does he need directions to the grocery store? I’m confused about how a grown adult is physically incapable of buying his own (supplemental) bread. I can’t imagine doing that and not being incredibly embarrassed. He should be too.
Totally agree and I'm confused on him getting mad at her for buying bread because he feels guilty for eating it then gets mad because he ate all of his and eats some of hers too because she didn't buy him more??? Like she can't win here. If I were her I'd stop buying his food altogether and make him buy his own and see how much of a pain it is lol.
At first I read the title as 7 days and was like oh that's not so bad, maybe after the 7days is up she'll let him have a week off to relax too. I quickly realized I misread and it was 7 weeks not days and was just floored by that. I'm not a mom yet but it makes me just think about if my mom had suddenly wanted 7 weeks off from being a parent to my brother and I and only call twice during those two weeks. I'm not a mother yet because I work a senior cybersecurity role and barely not burning out from it and I know how hard being a parent is so I know now isn't a good time for me. The point is I can understand she was probably feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and burnt out, but she can't just up and leave for 7 whole weeks at a time, it's unreasonable to throw that on your partner to both work from home and watch the kids for 7 weeks, only call twice the whole 7 weeks, and just pretend you aren't a mom or wife basically the whole time. Basically she got to live it up while her husband was miserable. I get she's burnt out, I really do, but she didn't go about it right. It sounds like OP would have been more than happy to let her go a shorter amount of time. Possibly they could have both taken a week off a couple times a year to recharge. OP would it be possible to have your sister around more to help out since she doesn't work and wants more meaning since you asked your dad to leave her his money? I would venture to guess that after spending almost 7 weeks with your kids, she's attached to them and I bet the kids are too, I think it could be beneficial for all that are involved. I don't think the whole "it takes a village" thing is a reality for many people our age, making it harder to have kids, but if you have the chance to have a small village I would take it.
The guy has some good advice, but he's really out of touch, especially when it comes to housing. I've seen him advise people who are struggling with payments to sell their house and rent until they can afford to pay cash for their home. It shocks me, because in most areas, that's a fast-track to never owning again.
This is a whole other person with different skill sets, brother. Might be worth a shot. Worst to come out of this is someone steals her identity. Which may or may not tickle your fancy
Lol I'm in a senior position in cybersecurity and some of my certs make me sign a ethical policy so no stealing identities for me... I mean unless it's ethical lmao
Stealing identities is not the same as using an alias. Why would you need to steal an identity? I’ve been in cybersecurity for 23 years and I’ve never needed to do that to skip trace someone. I catch hackers and conduct investigations too, and I’m sure we’ve signed the same ethical pledges.
That is very kind of you. I feel awful for OP. As a parent, I never wanted our children to associate material things or $ with love & affection. My dad apologized with extravagant gifts or cash instead of actually apologizing for being a complete asshole.
My dad bought our love with stuff growing up for being a asshole too, until 2008 recession hit. Then it's like he kicked in this I'm the only one who should get nice things because I make the most money and you kids are leaches thing. I learned very quickly in 2009 that if you are 14 and have a bank account, your parents can just take money from it without your permission, but if you kept the money at home out of the bank it would go missing too lol
I despise the line of thinking that calls it a "broken home" when parents divorce. My mom's parents only got married because my grandmother got pregnant with her out of wedlock and they stayed together until my mom graduated high school. The two of them were miserable together and it made my mom miserable too. She said herself she wished they'd divorced much earlier.
For sure. I grew up wishing my parents would get divorced, I've seen divorced parents co-parent better than my parents interacted being married to each other. My dad was angry all the time and took it out on my mom and I, which messed me up growing up. But she's still with him to this day and I turn 29 soon. And to this day he still does his best to mess me up and pass the misery onto me lol. My mom was better off alone, she could have had a much better life and so could us kids because we wouldn't have been screamed at all day everyday, etc.
My void knows how to open cabinets, nothing is safe from the hangry void lol. That's the reason why everything that would be in a plastic bag is in glass. Got a little tired of multiple bags of rice, sugar, flour, chips, etc torn open lol
I'd ask for the video of the chihuahua do damage to a car like that because I would love to see that... I mean if you sling shot the chihuahua into the car angry bird style it would for sure make a large dent lol
I don't dislike kids, at this point don't plan to have any because of mental health problems and scoliosis and other physical problems, but I'm more on the fence right now than super opposed like I was. I think it's great that you speak the truth about having kids being a lot of work, my own mom told me when I got older that I don't regret having you guys or would trade you for anything in the world but man kids are a lot of work and you have to be ready for it. This is coming from the woman who basically raised other people's babies her whole time growing up then at 14 her mom had another baby and was just checked out so my mom became 2nd mommy, so she's had a lifetime of experience with kids and still warns how hard they are, but loves kids.
My brother works at a casino and said there's a guy who comes in everyday and considers himself a professional gambler. The state actually now takes child support out of his winnings at the casino too lol
I have pretty severe ADHD and forget where my phone is if it's in my hands or forget my glasses when they're on my face but I've never forgotten kids or even my cat. Never forgotten to feed my cat or give him water, etc. I do forget the litter box sometimes but that's why I bought an automatic one, because ADHD people learn to adapt to their condition and there's always some solution that won't fix the problem but it makes it more manageable. That's kind of what ADHD is, meds and other work arounds help but not completely, but we learn what we need to do to not accidentally forget to eat and die or something lol. Like I legit forget I'm thirsty and just don't drink water or forget I need to pee until I have to go NOW. But I have never done anything that would put my cat or any child I've watched in danger. I agree with you, I wonder if it is drugs or something as well? That's just not a normal reaction, it sounds like even the neighbor reacted, because even if it's not your kid normal people spring into action when kids are in trouble.
That's a hangry little void he has something to say about you making him wait for the milk to be warm lol. My void is almost 6, they never grow out of the hangry phase lol
I've had a lot of relationships but turns out either guys who just like me for my ass or cheat on me who are more interested in my physical appearance. I looked on Facebook a few days ago for the first time in like 6 years and got sad because while I was isolated and alone, which my parents wouldn't let me have friends really when I was younger and saw most of my family like my grandma once a year or sometimes once every two to three years so they taught me isolation young, while it's what I'm comfortable with I know it's also my fault at this age. Anyway I was fine in college and had a lot of friends and potential guys to date. They're all married now, most with kids and I basically gave it all up for my career. I thought that if I made it in my career I'd be happier because my dad was gone like 5 days a week, sometimes more and when he came back had a terrible explosive temper (my mom wasn't allowed to have friends either that's why she thought it was normal, and she could leave him if she saw her family so he made sure that wasn't an option either) but he bought our love instead of tried for it so I equated happiness with the ability to buy things. I'm in the top percentage of earnings in my area currently in the sense of normal households not the people somehow making millions lol, especially for 28 year olds but i felt like my dad pitted me against my brother the golden child because he was a woman belonged in the kitchen type and called me stupid all the time and made me do "women's" work when i lived at home. If he spilled a pepsi he wouldnt even lift a muscle he'd just scream at my mom or myself to clean it up. I just got promoted to a senior cybersecurity position but I don't know, I felt really lonely with all of my empty feeling relationships. I just started a new one and he's really nice to me to the point I'm over here like what's the catch? Like can I trust this? Lol. But I'm not sure if money over happiness was the route to take so I feel you, I guess we'll see how this one goes lol. But if you need someone to talk to I don't really have any friends so feel free to send me a message, it won't be the same as what you're looking for but having a friend can sometimes help the loneliness a little I think.
Lol you must be a fun person to be around being as conceited as you are. I've got a higher degree so yours is useless! You're like the global gym of IT, we're better than you and we know it! Dude listen to yourself lmao. Employeers do value associates degrees because it shows people at least tried. It's well known in IT that the first 2 years is learning technical and the next 2 is more "administrative" teaching, which is why a good portion of IT employers don't care if you have an associate's or bachelor's but value that you can show the effort so yes associates is valued. I would know, I've been a senior systems engineer at 25 being on the hiring team, and a IT Manager at 26 making the hiring decisions, on gasp! An associates degree! Oh no! Now I'm a Senior in Cybersecurity for a global company that is one of the panel interviewers at 28. If you're turning people down because they only have an associates degree you're turning away potentially amazing talent because they couldn't afford to get a Bachelors. That's why I only have an associates.
Lol awwww did I offend you by telling you you're conceited? Bro you're the one that needs to grow up you went to college 2 years more than me, like big deal. I've been offered a job teaching at a university while only having an associates, lol imagine that a woman teaching both associates and bachelor's course on just an associates, it's almost like employers don't actually care about the degree as much as experience in cyber, IT maybe different but not much in my opinion from when i hired my companies never cared about it. Once you get to cyber it's more knowledge based and going to school 2 years no longer matters to them. I'm directly below the CIO and director now in a company that has operations in multiple different countries and I am straight up telling you that all three companies I've worked for didn't give a shit about bachelor's vs associates. It's not ego, it's the truth. You can blast people with associates degrees all you want, but it doesn't change anything. People with Masters degrees struggle to find a job straight out of school because going to school longer doesn't automatically equal a job and i beat out multiple people with a Masters. Sure I struggled to find a job originally because when I graduated I lived in a town of 500 people which wasn't big on IT obviously because it was a farming town. I had no problems when I moved to a huge city. You can argue and tell people your degree is better, but I'm telling you straight facts from someone who has been the person hiring in 3 positions now that employers don't tend to care honestly. But it's cool, if you wanna feel special for having the bachelor's and not listen to somebody who actually does the hiring process in cyber for a very large company that's cool, whatever makes you feel good.
Anyone who works with kids has to develop that tone shift haha. Normal voice, disappointed voice, and angry/serious voice, the difference in their reaction to the tone shifts is always impressive.
At the beginning of my career I worked IT in schools, I spent a lot of time in elementary schools around the time the chromebook and iPad area had been in full swing a couple of years, like 8 years ago at this point. I swear even though I wasn't a teacher and still don't have kids I developed that disappointed but not mad tone too lol. I tried to tell the guy I've been dating recently that little kids for some reason are drawn to me like a magnet, when I go out some kid always comes up to me and starts talking or whatever 😂 so even though I wasn't a teacher I still spent a good amount of time in the classrooms helping the teachers because they were so overwhelmed. I felt bad that they'd be crying when I went to visit for a ticket during their prep period, and I swear the secretaries in the offices had that voice downpat. Like kid gets sent to see the principle ohh so and so not agaaainnn.
Stop competing at the top of your budget. Look for houses one step down so you can actually bid up a bit. Build up your equity and get the bigger house you want down the road.
Basically what I had to do, I'm not in the size house I wanted or the age. It's old and small but it's what I could afford on my own. I figured in 5 years from now I can try again for a bigger and newer house but for now I had to compromise. It's not a dream home but it'll do for now.
I feel the same way about OCD. Anytime I tell someone I have it, I have to say, "I legitimately have OCD".
Everytime I mention having ocd they ask so you click the light 3 times? It's frustrating because there's so many different things ocd can be. If someone moves my monitor or something on my desk at work it'll take at least a half hour for me to get it perfect again, I can't have TV volumes on a odd number, i never take the plastic wrap off of things like monitors or tvs either lol. Had my TV for probably 4 years and it still has some of the plastic around the bezel. It's like people think I'm joking and will be like she's ocd lol, but not realize i will cry and freak out if I can't get the monitor to be in the exact correct space according to my mind, etc. It sucks.
Does he need directions to the grocery store? I’m confused about how a grown adult is physically incapable of buying his own (supplemental) bread. I can’t imagine doing that and not being incredibly embarrassed. He should be too.
Totally agree and I'm confused on him getting mad at her for buying bread because he feels guilty for eating it then gets mad because he ate all of his and eats some of hers too because she didn't buy him more??? Like she can't win here. If I were her I'd stop buying his food altogether and make him buy his own and see how much of a pain it is lol.
At first I read the title as 7 days and was like oh that's not so bad, maybe after the 7days is up she'll let him have a week off to relax too. I quickly realized I misread and it was 7 weeks not days and was just floored by that. I'm not a mom yet but it makes me just think about if my mom had suddenly wanted 7 weeks off from being a parent to my brother and I and only call twice during those two weeks. I'm not a mother yet because I work a senior cybersecurity role and barely not burning out from it and I know how hard being a parent is so I know now isn't a good time for me. The point is I can understand she was probably feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and burnt out, but she can't just up and leave for 7 whole weeks at a time, it's unreasonable to throw that on your partner to both work from home and watch the kids for 7 weeks, only call twice the whole 7 weeks, and just pretend you aren't a mom or wife basically the whole time. Basically she got to live it up while her husband was miserable. I get she's burnt out, I really do, but she didn't go about it right. It sounds like OP would have been more than happy to let her go a shorter amount of time. Possibly they could have both taken a week off a couple times a year to recharge. OP would it be possible to have your sister around more to help out since she doesn't work and wants more meaning since you asked your dad to leave her his money? I would venture to guess that after spending almost 7 weeks with your kids, she's attached to them and I bet the kids are too, I think it could be beneficial for all that are involved. I don't think the whole "it takes a village" thing is a reality for many people our age, making it harder to have kids, but if you have the chance to have a small village I would take it.
The guy has some good advice, but he's really out of touch, especially when it comes to housing. I've seen him advise people who are struggling with payments to sell their house and rent until they can afford to pay cash for their home. It shocks me, because in most areas, that's a fast-track to never owning again.
From what I've seen rent is way higher than mortgage too
This is a whole other person with different skill sets, brother. Might be worth a shot. Worst to come out of this is someone steals her identity. Which may or may not tickle your fancy
Lol I'm in a senior position in cybersecurity and some of my certs make me sign a ethical policy so no stealing identities for me... I mean unless it's ethical lmao
Stealing identities is not the same as using an alias. Why would you need to steal an identity? I’ve been in cybersecurity for 23 years and I’ve never needed to do that to skip trace someone. I catch hackers and conduct investigations too, and I’m sure we’ve signed the same ethical pledges.
It was a joke lol
Sounds like something a bureaucrat would say.
Sounds like something a synth would say
That is very kind of you. I feel awful for OP. As a parent, I never wanted our children to associate material things or $ with love & affection. My dad apologized with extravagant gifts or cash instead of actually apologizing for being a complete asshole.
My dad bought our love with stuff growing up for being a asshole too, until 2008 recession hit. Then it's like he kicked in this I'm the only one who should get nice things because I make the most money and you kids are leaches thing. I learned very quickly in 2009 that if you are 14 and have a bank account, your parents can just take money from it without your permission, but if you kept the money at home out of the bank it would go missing too lol
I despise the line of thinking that calls it a "broken home" when parents divorce. My mom's parents only got married because my grandmother got pregnant with her out of wedlock and they stayed together until my mom graduated high school. The two of them were miserable together and it made my mom miserable too. She said herself she wished they'd divorced much earlier.
For sure. I grew up wishing my parents would get divorced, I've seen divorced parents co-parent better than my parents interacted being married to each other. My dad was angry all the time and took it out on my mom and I, which messed me up growing up. But she's still with him to this day and I turn 29 soon. And to this day he still does his best to mess me up and pass the misery onto me lol. My mom was better off alone, she could have had a much better life and so could us kids because we wouldn't have been screamed at all day everyday, etc.
Maybe someone should have made sure the treats were properly stored. My wife tells me this every time my cat ruins a bag of cheetos.
My void knows how to open cabinets, nothing is safe from the hangry void lol. That's the reason why everything that would be in a plastic bag is in glass. Got a little tired of multiple bags of rice, sugar, flour, chips, etc torn open lol
Someone replied to me on an unrelated post.
I'd ask for the video of the chihuahua do damage to a car like that because I would love to see that... I mean if you sling shot the chihuahua into the car angry bird style it would for sure make a large dent lol
Same. Almost went and got my nephew to read it for me.
Can I Google translate that? Lol
The best way I can explain it is that I love my children but being a parent is a lot of real work for anyone who takes it even half seriously.
I don't dislike kids, at this point don't plan to have any because of mental health problems and scoliosis and other physical problems, but I'm more on the fence right now than super opposed like I was. I think it's great that you speak the truth about having kids being a lot of work, my own mom told me when I got older that I don't regret having you guys or would trade you for anything in the world but man kids are a lot of work and you have to be ready for it. This is coming from the woman who basically raised other people's babies her whole time growing up then at 14 her mom had another baby and was just checked out so my mom became 2nd mommy, so she's had a lifetime of experience with kids and still warns how hard they are, but loves kids.
I had a coworker say, "oh that's right you don't have a family" when she remembered I don't have kids. That was pretty harsh. I have a family.
I forgot when I become an adult my mom and dad stop being family lol
That. Is. Hysterical
My brother works at a casino and said there's a guy who comes in everyday and considers himself a professional gambler. The state actually now takes child support out of his winnings at the casino too lol
I have ADHD. I forget the laundry in the washer and misplace important papers and talk too much. I never did anything like this.
I have pretty severe ADHD and forget where my phone is if it's in my hands or forget my glasses when they're on my face but I've never forgotten kids or even my cat. Never forgotten to feed my cat or give him water, etc. I do forget the litter box sometimes but that's why I bought an automatic one, because ADHD people learn to adapt to their condition and there's always some solution that won't fix the problem but it makes it more manageable. That's kind of what ADHD is, meds and other work arounds help but not completely, but we learn what we need to do to not accidentally forget to eat and die or something lol. Like I legit forget I'm thirsty and just don't drink water or forget I need to pee until I have to go NOW. But I have never done anything that would put my cat or any child I've watched in danger. I agree with you, I wonder if it is drugs or something as well? That's just not a normal reaction, it sounds like even the neighbor reacted, because even if it's not your kid normal people spring into action when kids are in trouble.
That's a hangry little void he has something to say about you making him wait for the milk to be warm lol. My void is almost 6, they never grow out of the hangry phase lol
I'm interested but due to wifi problems id want to go down quite a bit on the price
Take the opportunity, half the time those recruiters reach out promising a certain wage then offer half of the initial due to something or another.
I might be interested in buying depending on the price you sell it for
Respectfully, I’m aware of everything that you stated in the second half of your comment.
I've had a lot of relationships but turns out either guys who just like me for my ass or cheat on me who are more interested in my physical appearance. I looked on Facebook a few days ago for the first time in like 6 years and got sad because while I was isolated and alone, which my parents wouldn't let me have friends really when I was younger and saw most of my family like my grandma once a year or sometimes once every two to three years so they taught me isolation young, while it's what I'm comfortable with I know it's also my fault at this age. Anyway I was fine in college and had a lot of friends and potential guys to date. They're all married now, most with kids and I basically gave it all up for my career. I thought that if I made it in my career I'd be happier because my dad was gone like 5 days a week, sometimes more and when he came back had a terrible explosive temper (my mom wasn't allowed to have friends either that's why she thought it was normal, and she could leave him if she saw her family so he made sure that wasn't an option either) but he bought our love instead of tried for it so I equated happiness with the ability to buy things. I'm in the top percentage of earnings in my area currently in the sense of normal households not the people somehow making millions lol, especially for 28 year olds but i felt like my dad pitted me against my brother the golden child because he was a woman belonged in the kitchen type and called me stupid all the time and made me do "women's" work when i lived at home. If he spilled a pepsi he wouldnt even lift a muscle he'd just scream at my mom or myself to clean it up. I just got promoted to a senior cybersecurity position but I don't know, I felt really lonely with all of my empty feeling relationships. I just started a new one and he's really nice to me to the point I'm over here like what's the catch? Like can I trust this? Lol. But I'm not sure if money over happiness was the route to take so I feel you, I guess we'll see how this one goes lol. But if you need someone to talk to I don't really have any friends so feel free to send me a message, it won't be the same as what you're looking for but having a friend can sometimes help the loneliness a little I think.
Wow, makes me glad I live in a city that cares about their rules. They followed up the time I reported someone.
Wow that's nice they do. In my town leashes are almost non existent honestly
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Lol you must be a fun person to be around being as conceited as you are. I've got a higher degree so yours is useless! You're like the global gym of IT, we're better than you and we know it! Dude listen to yourself lmao. Employeers do value associates degrees because it shows people at least tried. It's well known in IT that the first 2 years is learning technical and the next 2 is more "administrative" teaching, which is why a good portion of IT employers don't care if you have an associate's or bachelor's but value that you can show the effort so yes associates is valued. I would know, I've been a senior systems engineer at 25 being on the hiring team, and a IT Manager at 26 making the hiring decisions, on gasp! An associates degree! Oh no! Now I'm a Senior in Cybersecurity for a global company that is one of the panel interviewers at 28. If you're turning people down because they only have an associates degree you're turning away potentially amazing talent because they couldn't afford to get a Bachelors. That's why I only have an associates.
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Lol awwww did I offend you by telling you you're conceited? Bro you're the one that needs to grow up you went to college 2 years more than me, like big deal. I've been offered a job teaching at a university while only having an associates, lol imagine that a woman teaching both associates and bachelor's course on just an associates, it's almost like employers don't actually care about the degree as much as experience in cyber, IT maybe different but not much in my opinion from when i hired my companies never cared about it. Once you get to cyber it's more knowledge based and going to school 2 years no longer matters to them. I'm directly below the CIO and director now in a company that has operations in multiple different countries and I am straight up telling you that all three companies I've worked for didn't give a shit about bachelor's vs associates. It's not ego, it's the truth. You can blast people with associates degrees all you want, but it doesn't change anything. People with Masters degrees struggle to find a job straight out of school because going to school longer doesn't automatically equal a job and i beat out multiple people with a Masters. Sure I struggled to find a job originally because when I graduated I lived in a town of 500 people which wasn't big on IT obviously because it was a farming town. I had no problems when I moved to a huge city. You can argue and tell people your degree is better, but I'm telling you straight facts from someone who has been the person hiring in 3 positions now that employers don't tend to care honestly. But it's cool, if you wanna feel special for having the bachelor's and not listen to somebody who actually does the hiring process in cyber for a very large company that's cool, whatever makes you feel good.
I petted a cheetah once. It licked my hand and purred.
That sounds so adorable! I'm jealous! Did it do that little mlem type sound? They're like little Yoshis or something lol
Anyone who works with kids has to develop that tone shift haha. Normal voice, disappointed voice, and angry/serious voice, the difference in their reaction to the tone shifts is always impressive.
At the beginning of my career I worked IT in schools, I spent a lot of time in elementary schools around the time the chromebook and iPad area had been in full swing a couple of years, like 8 years ago at this point. I swear even though I wasn't a teacher and still don't have kids I developed that disappointed but not mad tone too lol. I tried to tell the guy I've been dating recently that little kids for some reason are drawn to me like a magnet, when I go out some kid always comes up to me and starts talking or whatever 😂 so even though I wasn't a teacher I still spent a good amount of time in the classrooms helping the teachers because they were so overwhelmed. I felt bad that they'd be crying when I went to visit for a ticket during their prep period, and I swear the secretaries in the offices had that voice downpat. Like kid gets sent to see the principle ohh so and so not agaaainnn.
Just because you found a way to fix the problem, doesn’t mean it’s the best way. Pay attention to the “why”.
Along with the just because you've done it this way for years doesn't mean it's the best way now