1. You can walk around crying, I wouldn’t recommend it. It makes you seem vulnerable, and all sorts of people will try to interact, not always for your benefit. I’d suggest a box of tissues and a pint of ice cream at home.

  2. Really? I feel like crying in public in NYC is a good way to keep people away lol

  3. It hasn’t worked that way for me. I seem to attract negative attention.

  4. NTA. Do not email her. It sends the message that you are allowing her access to you. I am in the same situation and I understand the frustration. What you really want is for her to be the parent you wish you had. She is never going to be that person. Continue no contact, don’t allow your abuser to undo all the work you have done.

  5. I would not address the name issue with her, it will only perpetuate the nonsense. Instead, I would tell everyone that you are very happy that she loves your child so much that she gave her child the same name. Don’t let in that you are in any way upset about it, act like it’s the biggest compliment she could give you and your child.

  6. I’ve never seen powdered rosemary. I usually crush it with garlic and olive oil and spread it all over.

  7. YTA for so many reasons. I’m having a really tough time believing that anyone is this clueless. Your wife is dating, you think parenting is babysitting. You don’t actually have to watch his kids. I see where the money would be attractive to you, the surgery to remove your head from your anus must be very expensive.

  8. You need to switch your thinking and the people around you. You need to learn and accept your worth. Do you have a trusted friend that you can explain this to? Someone who will celebrate and compliment you until it feels comfortable? In addition, I’d suggest that you keep a daily journal of what you’ve accomplished, no matter how small. Got up at the set time? Win! Left the house on time? Win! Got to work/school on time? Win! Did your assignment? Win! And so on…. As you understand how worthy you are, treat yourself, I made it through this week? My reward is a movie or a sweater or whatever will mean something to you. By not feeling that you deserve good things, you put it out into the universe and you get treated that way. This is the perfect situation for fake it until you make it. No matter what you are saying in your head, treat yourself as though you deserve good things. Need a new car? Do the math and the budget and buy the best car you can afford, not the junker that’s serviceable. You are worthy and you deserve it! I’d also highly suggest that you find a therapist who can help you, some of this is conditioning from how you were raised and some of this, I suspect is depression. This momma is willing to compliment and celebrate you to an embarrassing degree. You are worthy, compassionate, courageous and loving. You need to believe it so that the universe treats you like the wonderful being that you are. With hugs.

  9. It’s not strange for people to drop into a yoga class, I think it’s encouraged. You need to find a teacher, a studio and a class that you are comfortable with. Personally, I have a studio that I love and I have dropped in to all of the yoga classes to find the right one for me. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

  10. Goulash. Sauté a large thinly sliced onion, with a pound of ground beef, add a 28 oz can of tomatoes, crushed, chopped or whole(cut or break into pieces) and simmer. Add a pound of cooked macaroni and simmer a couple of minutes. Serve with grated cheese and or hot sauce.

  11. You still make a whole ass goulash when you don't feel like cooking?

  12. Yes I do. I also cook for 5 every day of my life. I will say that I often cook the macaroni in the instant pot to speed things up.

  13. I prep dinner in the morning so that all I have to do is turn it on.

  14. Unfortunately, you have to make time for this. Probably no more than a half hour a day, if you make a schedule and stick to it. Having a place for everything is very helpful. Shoes and coats go in their assigned spot, a hamper for dirty laundry. I keep a set of cleaning supplies in both the bathroom and the kitchen so I can do a spot clean every day, which makes the deep clean easier. It might be easier to get someone in to do a deep clean and then just keep it up.

  15. Food.com has a ny style deli potato salad that is my go to. I found it on Pinterest

  16. Shepherds pie, stroganoff, beef and barley, stir fry

  17. What is his currency? What can he not live without? A game system, internet, phone, tv? Once you know what he considers essential, that’s what you take away until he earns it back. Be very clear about what it will take to earn it back and you have to be strong and not cave. One of my daughters at that age was most concerned about her appearance, I confiscated her clothes and sneakers and went and bought her 2 pairs of jeans, 5 white t shirts and no name sneakers from Kmart. She had to earn her wardrobe back. It was hard on me, but I stuck to it and the attitude changed.

  18. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. His anger (misplaced) is most likely about his health and his fear surrounding it. I am married to someone who is suspicious of the medical profession and the fact that they don’t have all the answers and refer for tests. It is stressful to deal with this and the accompanying anger. Please know that you are doing the right thing and you will probably never get any thanks for it. Do what you can for him within your boundaries. At this point you have to do what allows you some comfort. I’d suggest that when he’s in a mood to rant, that you redirect. Ask him about his first kiss, the first time he climbed a tree, his first grade teacher. Make him share his memories and make new ones with him. I’m sending you hugs, this is not an easy road, your mommas are here for support.

  19. Talk with her. She should be paying something towards housing, but you both need to agree. I’d say half only if it is your plan when you sell to use the proceeds to buy a property where both names are on the deed.

  20. They are the best. You get what you ordered, quickly. Their customer service is amazing. I would recommend them over any others.

  21. Here’s the thing, everyone has these fears and no one gets it perfect. Just like the rest of our lives, things sometimes go wrong. The same way every child is different, so is every pregnancy and birth. It truly is a miracle. Stressing about what might happen is only going to make you crazy. Don’t listen to horror stories, don’t look up birth defects, know that it is a very small percentage of the time and there is good medical care to help you through all of this. You might consider having a conversation with your gynecologist about your fears. Your mommas are always here to help you too. Hugs

  22. NTA. This was straight up harassment. Not a joke, but harassment. They knew they were wrong and tried to mitigate by saying “we weren’t talking about you” because they know they not only stepped over the line but left it in the dust. You are your only advocate, don’t allow them to bully you.

  23. Dearest Mildred, if this is your perfect name, that’s all there is to say. You’ve picked it, it feels perfect and no one else gets a say. Plenty of people were given a name at birth that “doesn’t fit “. Celebrate being you, Mildred! Hugs.

  24. NTA. A- you were comforting your newborn B-you were in your own home C-is your sister jealous much? She is ridiculous.

  25. YTA A gift is a gift Don't bother comparing, someone is always going to get 'better'.

  26. It’s really not about the gift, it’s about the narcissist and their disregard for their own child. If you’ve never had to deal with someone like that you are truly blessed.

  27. NTA. Narcs always need to sway someone new into thinking they are wonderful. They need that adulation. She has conditioned you to accept less and still love her. I have gone NC with my narc and it’s the best thing I ever did. I would suggest that you check out the subreddit raised by narcissists, it can be very helpful and informative

  28. NTA. We don’t always like the people we are “supposed “ to love due to genetics. She’s violating your boundaries and then trying to justify it. You don’t have to like her, obviously your mom didn’t. I would say be respectful but don’t engage her and interact as little as possible.

  29. I learned to parent by doing the opposite of what my narcissistic, abusive mother did. As I had children I had flashbacks, I revisited the trauma that I lived through and I chose to get myself well, and eventually go NC with her and her flying monkeys. I highly recommend some therapy for you. This is trauma season for you, go easy on yourself. Self care for you and your daughter are the most important things right now. It’s ok to have a hard time, but don’t get stuck there.

  30. That’s what I’m trying to do, I already love my baby enough to not want to voluntarily hurt her. I couldn’t even do a quarter of what she did to me, but it makes me wonder why she did all of this, you know like what I have done to deserve this and it’s painful as well. Maybe therapy would be a good idea idk.

  31. You are the victim, you have no blame in this. It’s your job heal and give your child a healthy, loving relationship with you. It’s ok to be exhausted, babies are a lot of work. Exhaustion seems to magnify trauma. You have been conditioned to accept the blame for her bad behavior, please remember that this has everything to do with her and nothing to do with you. Sending you hugs

  32. NTA. Your aunt is as toxic and abusive as your mom.

  33. Sweetheart, I wish I could fill a stocking for you. Some years ago, I had a talk with my husband, and I told him that I felt badly about not having a stocking filled and I would like for him to do one for me, I gave him ideas(candy, pens, puzzle books, socks). He did take it over, and now my daughters (33,36)have made it a goal to buy things for my stocking. You should not be forgotten.

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