1. They are bound together. Some people can transform one into the other effortlessly- for others it takes all they have and they are depleted for a while.

  2. You were abused by your mom, who was abused by her parents, who were likely abused by their parents, who were likely abused by their goes back centuries. I don't think folks are generally more abusive now than they were in the 1500s; in fact I think things have slowly improved overall.

  3. I don't know if porn can be "officially" addictive, but it's clear to me that porn can be addictive in at least some sense of the term. Not all porn users are addicted in this way, but some of them are.

  4. I know what you mean... it definitely makes me partially feel like I wasnt worth saving. I know that isnt true, but my brain still thinks it regardless. I do know my school called CYS twice, but my extendes family helped my parents clean for an entire weekend to prepare. It's strange realizing exactly how much it feels like EVERYONE participated in the abuse by seeing something (or basically everything) and not saying something. Makes me wanna be angry at the world, a little. But I'm working on that. Hooray for therapy 🥳

  5. don't need to make a post to notify everyone of a different post you're about to do. You can just do the "helpful tips" post in the first place.

  6. Like I said before I’m sure she’s tired to move out already, by wearing the pros and cons and her possible options.

  7. She probably has thought of it, and she rejected the idea. But hopefully we can help her brainstorm a way to make it work.

  8. I mean do you want her to become homeless?Mindlessly moving out without a plan rarely works.

  9. Deadass I used to feel the same way, dating seemed pointless and I had so much trauma around it that I’d pretty much given up. But then I met my boyfriend completely out of the blue and we’ve been inseparable since (he’s also my first real relationship, and I’m 22) :)) honestly I think it’s mostly luck and patience and being open to anything. The waiting sucks, believe me, but it can also be used to work on yourself that way when you do inevitably meet someone you can be the best version of yourself. I’m glad I had so much time to work on stuff because it’s made navigating conflict much less daunting. People used to tell me love comes when we’re open to it, but not actively searching. I didn’t believe them, but now I think I do. You’ll find someone the moment you least expect it :) I hope this is at least a little comforting <3

  10. I'm sorry to hear about your earlier trauma. I'm glad it worked out for you at the age of 22.

  11. I get where you’re coming from, I really do, but the implication that I don’t take mental health into account strikes me as kinda rude, considering I deal with my own collection of mental illnesses on the daily. Also the implication that just because I’m now in a relationship I haven’t been in your shoes- I also didn’t get dates for years! And it was difficult and I fully believed no one would ever love me! It sucked! I know I really did just get lucky! The reason I shared what I did was because, for me, focusing so much of my mental energy on seeking a relationship was damaging to the rest of me because I was focusing on something that at that point was just making me feel worse about myself- letting go of that desire and focusing on being the best version of myself lead me to a much better place relationship or not; which I probably should’ve clarified more. I understand that everyone’s situation is different lol, my advice was meant to be “hey this is what happened to me, maybe some nugget of it will resonate with you” rather than “do this and things will work out 100% perfectly for you too”. Not trying to be hostile, but it feels like you’re making some broad statements about me without actually knowing what I think (which, fair, it’s Reddit).

  12. Ok. Sorry for being rude. Obviously I don't know your personal history. I'm sorry to hear that you felt like no one would ever love you.

  13. 2052 school shootings (can’t remember if that included upper education) since 1970. We’ve had more mass shootings than days of the year.

  14. I agree that there are way too many shootings in America. I mean even one shooting is way too many, plus there's the fact that other countries don't have this problem to this degree and are obviously doing something right, and it's sad that America doesn't learn from that success.

  15. I know you are being helpful to ensure the person abo w you has the most correct information. It sat with me for a moment that the distinction is made. I'm not sure for the students, if a gun being fired but not hurting anyone is psychologically different. The students would have most likely still been locked down, maybe in their shooting drill spots. It would still mean that one of their fellow students brought a gun to school and fired it. Even if the gun wasn't fired at someone, that has to stay with a child.

  16. I, for one, would be far more affected by a shooting that hurts someone than a shooting that doesn't hurt someone.

  17. Psych, you've been supportive in the past, and I appreciate that. But I really don't think you understand where I'm coming from.

  18. I'm not replying to all that, but I read it and I still don't agree. They're not your kids. They're not the kid version of you that didn't get all needs met, they're other people's kids. And it's not right to just assume you know what's best, especially if you have to keep it secret from parents and your supervisor. It's not cool to think you know what's best for another person, especially a child who may or may not know what they're "consenting" to. I'm not sure how to show you that this is pretty messed up and I don't have the energy, but I hope you'll at least think about your approach.

  19. I'm glad to hear that things are getting better for you. =)

  20. I'm just the opposite. Forcing myself to do stuff only makes me more miserable. I've had to learn how to stop forcing myself to do stuff. Like, even if it's a thing that I genuinely want to do, the way that I approach it is key. If I approach it in a self-shaming way, I collapse. I have to approach it in a self-loving way, which absolutely includes the possibility of discovering that actually I genuinely want to do something different that what I had planned, and I need to go with that.

  21. Yep. Homeless, been trying to find something for months now. No luck. The shelter is an incredibly toxic and chaotic environment, and they put me in the male dorms even though I told them I'm a woman (I'm a trans woman but that shouldn't matter) I tried to move in with a friend but his landlord won't allow it so I have until the end of the month again before I'm back on the street again.

  22. This is an important concept, but I think we need to update the terminology. According to the dictionary, "incest" is sexual. Most people will interpret "covert incest" as something like "secret molestation". I think we need a new phrase for "inappropriate emotional work without sexual content".

  23. It sounds like you're not used to being treated well =(

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