1. I’ve put a LOT of effort into OLD in the last two years. It’s very time consuming and like another job. I did find a BF but he was wrong for me and I ended things in December. I went on A LOT of dates that ended up being nothing. Sometimes it was nice to meet someone new but they weren’t my type/incompatible, other times they were flat out assholes. I think I have to concentrate my efforts on meeting new people IRL, through friends and such.

  2. The age out needs to die out. It killed me when I hit it.

  3. How come at 32 I keep having 20 year olds who message me then? I’ve actually dating a few younger guys who told me they loved the fact that I was older. People need to stop perpetuating bleak stereotypes. Even if they have a grain of truth in them. Believing these things does absolutely no good to anyone.

  4. That’s one of the biggest issues. For women they don’t struggle to get matches, they don’t struggle to get sex either. But then a lot of them do struggle to get relationships, but if you can attention and sex from the best looking guys but not the relationship, it’s a pretty bitter pill to swallow to think I’m probably going to have to date somebody less attractive in order to get the type of person I want.

  5. I think this whole idea of ranking is one of the worst things exacerbated by m by dating apps. We shouldn’t be sorting people into these hot or not categories, it’s toxic. We should be looking for connections and chemistry which are built off of soo much more than looks. The whole idea of leagues should be thrown out the window. I know it’s not realistic but it’s a really ego-centric way of dating which of course is not going to go well.

  6. It’s not you. It’s definitely her. She sucks and obviously there wasn’t a connection on either side. Unless there is a bunch of stuff you didn’t tell us, you did nothing wrong. Some dates are just bad, and some people are hard to talk to. It sounds like you were working your ass off trying to draw blood from a stone. Why would u want to date someone like that?

  7. It’s not normal to see each other every day at the start of a relationship, let alone have sex everyday. Some people like to take their time to get to know each other. Sex is a bad foundation for a relationship. Don’t get me wrong it’s super important. But especially as a girl of a guy puts a lot of focus on sex in the early stages, it’s usually the case that that is what he is most interested in. Even if that’s not your intention, that’s how it reads.

  8. I feel like you should reach out! Otherwise you’ll always be wondering. You could call her or you could send her a message so that she isn’t put on the spot and can think about things. Maybe ask if you two of you can talk in the message you send. Tell her you haven’t stopped thinking of her.

  9. Make a list of the reasons why they sucked. Whenever I want to get over my feelings, I will make a very long list of all the very specific reasons of how they were a terrible match.

  10. This coming from the guys pov who is in the exact same position. Know that he feels the same as you do if that gives you any comfort. It really sucks when you have scares that run so deep and pain you still feel that it changes who you are as a person. It’s easy to be physically involved but not emotionally. Just know this sucks for him as well because obviously he was into you. But he knows the best thing for you is to find someone who isn’t so damaged.

  11. I mean I hope you are right. And I think you are. I know something happened years ago that shattered his heart into a million pieces and based on info from my friend who knew him then, that did really change him. I really got the feeling like he opened up to me and let me in and then started putting up walls. I asked him if he liked me and he said he did but it was like he was experiencing everything underwater. He also told me he was dead inside and needed therapy but couldn’t afford it. My heart breaks for him knowing that is the place he is in and I wish I could help him/ heal his heart but I know I can’t.

  12. It’s HIS job to figure out his time management relative his priorities. It’s not your job to do it for him, or hack your way in.

  13. Lol, well, I'm someone who works long days on film sets full-time. I myself am single and don't date. But I know plenty of colleagues who date.

  14. Ya I kinda want to ask him about this. I’ve only heard him say bad things about his job. He said it’s killing him. So I wonder if he will stay or if he is working towards something else. I haven’t asked him this yet. Right now he works locations. But he seems pretty disenfranchised with the industry as a whole. It’s hard to know what to do without more information and it’s hard to get more info without hanging out in person.

  15. Why don't you tell everyone how you really feel.

  16. The OP created these dating standards? Really? Women are complicit in not holding up standards for sure. But it’s awful that men will try to get away with whatever they can and that it’s our job to “maintain the dating standards”. Men in general, can do a lot better.

  17. You don’t understand what feminism is about obviously And you have an axe to grind. No rational conversation can be had with such a person.

  18. For me it’s when Luke and Lorelai break up for the first time and Lorelai is in bed devasted and calls him to come over

  19. Dude you are not ugly at all! In fact you have a really nice face and really beautiful eyes (like seriously gorgeous) and you look decently in shape. Smoking is a turn off for me and if I was on a dating app I would swipe left because of the middle finger pics (I never get why guys put those on their profile 🤣) but you are absolutely not ugly and honestly I think with the right grooming you could be like “the hot guy”. You need to start giving yourself some love and care and build your confidence instead of seeing yourself in a negative light. Negative things often feel more powerful than the positive stuff, so that’s why we have to remind ourselves of the good stuff! Hope you can start to see the beauty in yourself :)

  20. So context tho . The middle finger was a pic to my friend on lunch one day. I dont take many pics especially saved ones so I scrounge up what I had.

  21. I will say this: If she was truly the woman for me. Like if it was written in the stars. She would have simply called me and said "Hey everlast23, I noticed you're super awkward and nervous about intimacy. Is there a reason why?" instead of just ending it.

  22. Everlast23 that is not her job to fix. It is yours. If it was written in the stars it wouldn’t have put her off, but it’s not her job to be your therapist or to fix you.

  23. Sometimes there is literally no answer. This has happened to me lots of times. Sometimes I think there is a spark at first but I’m a little unsure so I go on more dates and then I realize no there wasn’t, they were just a great person and I wanted it to work. But something wasn’t right. Sometimes you can even think the person is good looking but you’re just not attracted to them for some intangible reason.

  24. I really don’t think you did anything wrong at all! You seem genuine and interested and interesting. Probably more to do with him!

  25. Well, some men might like a challenge, but I don’t think the more reasonable ones do. The more reasonable ones with standards like a women with standards though, and vice versa.

  26. I did it once as well. It was late at night and we were vibing in our convo. He asked if he could come over and hit me with the YOLO line. And I was like ok wth. Ultimately I regretted the night. He didn’t bring a condom and tried to put it in me without one and I had to push him off. I really didn’t appreciate that and felt disrespected. He was charming enough and hot but I felt gross about the whole thing after. Especially cause he ended up lying about where he lived just to get in my pants.

  27. So many ways to enhance your appearance using creative camera angles!

  28. I don’t think there is anything wrong with showing your best angle to the camera. The camera can also make you look 10 times worse than in real life if it’s the wrong angle and there is always a bit of lense distortion in any photo. And it’s super normal on an OLD profile to put your best face forward. It should look like you, on a good day. I mean I’ve never had the issue with guys meeting me IRL and not being attracted to me. If anything I’ve heard I look better IRL than my photos. And I find for guys most of them look better IRL too. Most. There have been some exceptions 🤣

  29. Why not? Did he say so? Robin did. Why not Barney?

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