fathertorque87



ONE YEAR BABY

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When you come across a feel-good thing.

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Sober September?

Gives 100 Reddit Coins and a week of r/lounge access and ad-free browsing.

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When you come across a feel-good thing.













  1. I sleep a lot better. I have dreams again, that I sometimes remember all of. My relationships are better. I don’t explode into a fiery ball of bullshit anger over nothing. I get WAY more accomplished daily. Life is better on this side.

  2. Same problem with mine. Blade paint already chipped near the tip as well. Just a typical pos beater knife.

  3. What I admire the most about humans generally agreed to be "manly" is the self discipline and self control they tend to exhibit. Hemingway was a brave human, as proved by many things he did in his life, but I do not believe he was a healthy human with mastery over his own impulses and desires. He also clearly had a well developed work ethic; successful writers do, but I would reject an assertion that he was "disciplined". I do not wish to argue whether or not work ethic and discipline are the same thing. I think they are related, synergistic concepts, but for now I'm going to move on.

  4. Thank you for your practical anecdote. It felt like I was reading my own thoughts of early sobriety.

  5. For the first nine months or more of my sobriety I honestly had a hard time recognizing when I was being triggered or was irritable. I just knew I didn’t feel right and that it made me feel very loopy and confused to the point of being disorienting. I took the energy/pressure that was building up and let it out via working in the yard or around the house or walking or straight up closing myself up in my shop and letting out some long, primal screams. It gets better though. I’m starting to recognize my triggers and sense a bout of irritableness coming on and I’m getting much better at mentally shutting that shit down before I blow up. As to how I’m doing this, well I wish I had better advise than it took practice but that’s how I got to where I am at 340 days in. Hope this helps some.

  6. Not to bash on your religion here, but fuck that church in particular and the so-called ‘Christians’ who gave you the boot for choosing not to have kids.

  7. My rekindled love for reading is one of my many favorite parts of sobriety! I had so many books I’d picked up over the years that I’m finally plowing through. I specifically wanted to get through Dune before the film releases and I made it!

  8. Early in my sobriety I stressed over telling a college buddy who’s a fraternity alumni brother of mine about my decision. This stress was unfounded and stupid because said brother had seen me get two dwis in our 20s so needless to say he was very supportive.

  9. I’m grateful for my wife (who’s also my sober partner and best friend) and for our furry horde; two dogs and three cats, one of whom is also a black cat!

  10. I was. I wanted to put my fists through everything. I ran across this article in early sobriety and on days I feel my level head slipping I go back and reread it:

  11. Thank you for sharing that article. Insightful, I'd never even thought about all the repressed thoughts coming to the surface and possibly being a source for my anger. It makes so much sense.

  12. I hadn’t either before reading this. It’s made me realize I was a fairly angry person before I became an alcoholic (and more than possibly why I became one.)

  13. Not much aside from having to learn a new typing method. Lost the intermediate and distal phalanges of my left ring finger.

  14. Thank you for sharing. I’m dealing with a similar situation between myself and a friend of over 20 years. A friendship that started in grade school and morphed into drinking buddies. Said friend was directly involved in the events that finally led me to change my life and now I find myself realizing that we stopped having anything meaningful in common beyond the veil of boozy laughs and hazy memories that day over fifteen years ago that our friendship transitioned from nerdy high school kids to party animals who didn’t slow down. I can’t even put into words how the sting felt when I told this friend, this person I whole heartedly claimed as a brother, that I was no longer drinking and in response was told “well that’s no fun.” I guess in hindsight I’m not sure why I expected anything else. In the time since I’ve avoided further conversations and dodged phone calls because it’s made me realize that realistically we were both pretty shitty towards one another for a long time thanks to alcohol and that our paths had drifted far and wide and were only loosely held together with the false sense of security strings that alcohol laced friendships have.

  15. Yep, this was me, pulling the veil of booze and drugs down over myself to shield myself from life and “elevate” myself in the process. Now it’s just life in the raw and it feels pretty fucking glorious!

  16. Push up on that man! I spent an extra decade after graduating at 23 wrecking weekend after weekend. Now my weekends are filled with endless, sober possibilities and it’s fucking glorious.

  17. Thank you! Glad you’re here now!

  18. Same! This sub helps immensely. I’m finally (actually) living my best life and not one that is masked by what society has deemed as being best. In my earliest days of sobriety I had to fight the inner battles of FOMO and deciding which “friendships” were only alcohol fueled and needed to go. Getting through that period was totally worth it.

  19. Your dragon analogy is the anniversary knowledge nugget I was seeking and needed today! Thanks for sharing and congrats!

  20. Were you afraid to quit cold turkey? I’ve heard of people having seizures from that, and when I tried I got the uncontrollable shaking in the morning/hot and cold sweats. It fucking sucked. I know that this is going to suck but ,,shit

  21. The day times shakes and the soaking night sweats were what finally killed my long love affair with hitting the hard stuff on a daily basis. I weened off it but in it’s place I just upped the ABV of the beers I drank daily. It does fucking suck but I wish I had just weened off it all and then quit cold turkey much sooner.

  22. “One day you’ll care enough about someone other than yourself to put it down for good. The good times you were chasing will be long gone and will have been replaced by more blackouts, arguments, disasters, missed opportunities, the experience of using the toilet paper roll in the drunk tank as a pillow a few times, lost friendships, tarnished relations with family members and also a lifetimes worth of piss poor excuses as to why you should get some more after work, on your lunch break or on your days off. You’re not a high functioning alcoholic; you’re just a boozy slobbering fucking mess in the making.”

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