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  1. Realistically speaking, you can’t expect to have gone through a permanent change after a single retreat … meditation is a practice through which you develop your equanimity over time. As another poster said, it’s the difference between a state (temporary) and trait. Altered Traits gets into the research around this and the tens of thousands of hours of meditation it takes to actually achieve more stable changes. Not that it’s unproductive to continue meditating and doing what you’re doing. Noticing and being attentive to your ego and your “regression” is probably progress in itself.

  2. I think a nice, not personal way, to present it is saying that even though you really like him, unfortunately you are not ready to date as you have a lot of things going on, maybe with family, mental health, something of that kind.

  3. The risk with this type of response is that they will take it as there is still a chance, but the timing is not right. It actually has the potential of making it worse and less safe than being direct because he might consider that he has a chance in the long term.

  4. There used to be one in college park (downtown Toronto). It was a cake boss vending machine and I think they shipped in cakes slices from Hoboken. I will admit to buying one once but my excuse was it was a birthday treat for a friend (and so I could try a bite to see if it was worth it — spoiler: it was not.)

  5. This reminds me of the gap that Ira Glass talks about for creative people

  6. Would you say this to a woman who had had plenty of bad experiences with men, or a minority who was distrustful of white people through bad experiences?

  7. Having compassion for unhoused people doesn’t mean accepting poor behaviour from them… it means not painting them with broad strokes, recognizing them as individuals each with their unique circumstances, and not demonizing all of them. And what a ridiculous analogy. As someone who has had plenty of actually traumatic experiences with men and racist I would never generalize all men and all white people as terrible people and dehumanize them.

  8. Search Korea Halloween Stampede. Happened last year

  9. That was a crowd crush not a stampede

  10. Along with some other links posted TIRP also has low cost student therapists and sliding scale therapists

  11. Commenting to bump this up. This is where I found my first therapist, who was a recent grad at the time and cost $60/session.

  12. Nice - it was also where I found my first therapist. Rates were slightly cheaper when I started 6 years ago ($40 a session for a graduate) - so worth it!

  13. Probably will be an unpopular opinion, but listen to any serial killer being honest about their feelings on murdering and this is the same response you’re getting to hear. Also, is it really smart to talk about how much you love killing people? I mean at some point if there’s no ‘bad guys’ to kill and you’re saying you need homicide like crack if this guy does kill someone here in the US this is going to make for some great prosecution evidence. On the bright side the eventual Dateline episode he’ll be on will probably be good.

  14. I was thinking the same thing, as someone who listens to a lot do true crime. Seems like being a SEAL/in the military is basically the one socially acceptable way of being a serial killer.

  15. I’m a nanny and have worked with some families I love enough to go celebrate with on Christmas. Not all nannies feel like underpaid slaves.

  16. Curious how you would feel about your employer finding a kid’s toy wrapper in the garbage, assume you are doing drugs, and ask the Internet about it

  17. Their account makes it sound as if the owner was trying to grab the dog but couldn’t. Wonder what the actual details were since the release posted indicates quite the opposite…

  18. Same! I personally think he is just describing trauma and triggers in different terms but he was doing this before it because much more common to talk about trauma (these days). So it really resonated at the time.

  19. No, that is NOT his lawsuit - fucking OBVIOUSLY. That is the defense's motion to dismiss.

  20. They linked a decision and not the defendant’s motion. The first line is just stating an action that happened to lead to the decision on the motion.

  21. I’ve had like 5 therapists and none of them have ever said that to me… they always seem to have something to say. Whether it be asking me a question or giving some kind of interpretation of what I’ve just said… I would consider finding a new therapist if you feel like you’re going nowhere with this one.

  22. I was almost hit twice last night on University. Both times I was in the crosswalk and with the pedestrian light on. Both times there were at least 4 other people in the crosswalk. Both times it was someone turning left who didn’t check for pedestrians in the crosswalks and had to slam on their brakes.

  23. I specifically avoid walking along university for this reason

  24. There are certain intersections that are worse than others along university. I think at a certain intersection by the hospitals it’s almost guaranteed to happen every time - maybe because of the timing of the lights combined with the width of the road. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets hit.

  25. I just listened to the casefile true crime podcast on this recently, it was really well done- case 205 Bernd Brandes

  26. How did white people think they were genetically superior that wonderful specimen of human DNA.

  27. Wtf this is such a creepy objectifying comment

  28. I cringe whenever I see people spewing their wildly baseless theories of what might have happened inspired by their imagination. People can just say anything they want. It’s absolutely pure speculation. It’s worse when it involves the victims, like early on I saw someone suggesting one of the victims killed the others - and it’s so disrespectful to them and their families.

  29. Its downtown toronto. Theres always construction. Everybody knows how noisy downtown living is.

  30. Having lived in four different units downtown, including one surrounded on two sides by construction, it can definitely vary. If you live right next to construction it is about 100x worse than if construction is a block away. That said it’s something to consider before moving into a new unit otherwise you’re pretty much out of luck.

  31. There’s 4 buildings going up on all sides. It’s hell. Was not occurring when I moved in. Two buildings are right beside ours, and another one just a stone throws away, then another is right across the street but behind a building. I have thought of jumping out a window many times from lack of sleep.

  32. Yea that sucks, it definitely impacts quality of life. Idk the best solution though, besides making it as tolerable as you can with ear plugs and other things, and/or move.

  33. Many people commenting here have never been. The memorial is kind of built to be a place to explore and a likely result is photos. It's a really interesting monument where you can walk across from a low level and it gets rather deep. If you were ever there you'd understand why people would take a photo.

  34. I’ve been and I made a specific decision not to take any smiling selfies while exploring the memorial because I felt it was inappropriate. It’s not that difficult.

  35. Two financially independent folks with similar saving sense / lifestyle and retirement goals —that also build wealth together — that’s what it means. Doesn’t make you less independent- just collectively independent from being burdened under modern life stresses.

  36. Then people should be answering how they’re financially independent that doesn’t involve marrying someone

  37. It involved marrying because if* their optimization goals align, they can see the value of growing together versus individually, let alone the emotional support gains that are a bonus.

  38. That seems irrelevant to financial independence though? IMO financial independence should primarily exist when you aren’t in a partnership with someone. I.e. if you get divorced and aren’t able to support yourself financially, then you were not really financially independent

  39. You paraphrased correctly. Right wing media have completely distorted what she actually said.

  40. It wasn’t right wing media. I saw someone post the clip on Reddit, framed it a certain way in the title, and everyone ran with it

  41. Clearly you’ve been “Taking The Car” for too long, because there’s been cell service on the TTC for at least 8 years now.

  42. I ride TTC regularly, there is generally no cell service- maybe if you have freedom mobile? There is wifi at stations but doesn’t work when you’re travelling between stations

  43. Rogers actually airs very broad debates and allows even the weirdo candidates to submit videos and sit down for interviews.

  44. What is rogers TV? Is it only accessible to people with rogers and/or with cable? Or is it available to everyone online?

  45. Thanks! I realise I wasn't very clear in the post about my actual questions.

  46. I think there’s a risk the black ink will bleed into the white negative spaces over time and make them smaller

  47. Also people who walk and smoke at the same time. I don’t care if you smoke in a designated spot, but quit polluting the air for those unfortunates downwind of you and making us walk fast to catch up and pass you.

  48. Ugh this so much I fucking hate it when I’m stuck behind someone smoking, pass them, and then I’m stuck behind someone vaping.

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