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AITA for wanting to leave my money to charity and not my daughter?

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  1. I do understand that there are evil training methods out there and they cause/create the militaristic, us versus them mentality. But I think could sit through a lot of those trainings without changing my core beliefs about the value of my fellow man. I think the wrong types of people are hired for these jobs.

  2. No offense and maybe you could withstand a culture of impunity and violence, but that’s not what The Stanford Prison Experiment demonstrated. Most people succumbed very quickly to the roles they were assigned and any personal mores and personal responsibility were predominantly overshadowed. The study became so dangerous so quickly they had to cancel the scheduled two week experiment on the 6th day. Anyway it’s pretty fascinating.

  3. That would be a market cap of 5,897,350,000,000 and 58,973,500,000,000 respectively. So prolly not happening either :)

  4. Right, because no comment has ever been misinterpreted on Reddit /s

  5. YTA bc you can relieve your daughter of some burdens and you won’t. You sound like you don’t really even love and respect your daughter. Maybe you’re not sharing some details that tanked your relationship further? And what about your grandchild? You don’t care he may have a better shot at success with a leg up? I’m sorry you have cancer. Seems sad to me to go out leaving a wider chasm between you and her. I’ve always thought of money as potential ways to help those I love. Lastly, charities waste so much money in administrative overhead and sometimes outright fraud etc that I would be super picky. Anyway, good luck on your decision. Godspeed.

  6. YTA so it’s a “family”trip for your wife and two dependent children. Also, who are you kidding? Her cabin would be your other two kids cabin. Your trying to get her to pay to house your other kids for the trip. Expect your daughter to not feel like a member of your family after this boneheaded move. If you can’t afford another cabin, you should have been planning a different trip you can afford for the whole family.

  7. Ty. I noticed. Made me cringe, too. I’ll let the mistake stand as a testament to my fallibility.

  8. Well crap. You really should have talked to her bf Christmas, dude. Ima go with ESH only bc you didn’t tell her bf she bought you A SNOWMOBILE! In her weird gift giving rules mind she was excited to give it to you and you stole her joy. But let’s admit, your mom is super weird not to be gifting to your wife and her grandchild. Is it a cultural thing? Where the hell did she grow up to not know that’s pretty fucking rude? Personally, I would take another crack (including an apology for not addressing this sooner dude) and tell her it hurts your wife and will hurt your child when he’s older. If she doesn’t want to give to your family which is her choice you can’t accept bc well it sucks for them. But you really appreciated her gift. A SNOWMOBILE dude.

  9. $$ and Privilege can really make people sociopaths. Like they don’t need anybody, so fuck everybody. I read a study that the more wealthy a person is, the less empathetic. Here’s a real world example. It’s probably overall a good thing for you to try to clue your moms into your wife’s feelings. Break the cycle maybe. It’ll make your mom happier to be more inclusive in general if she’s not already full fledged elitist. Or she’ll just write you out of her will. Just curious if you have time: do your grandparents (moms side) buy you gifts?

  10. If all you really said, is that you think she was being disrespectful to you, then NTA. If she initiated the conversation about what you do and how you are and was trying to tell you there is something wrong with you, then to she needs to step off. Your gf is ridiculous if she thinks you should just swallow any shit your mom wants to shovel at you.

  11. Simple, the neoliberal treacherous fraud named Barrack Obama gave people hope and then crushed their dreams by being a slimy piece of shit republican, a warmonger and a puppet to criminal bankers making a lot of people cynical so they turned to someone that was ranting against the establishment.

  12. YTA “I don’t think I’m a strict parent.” Right. A gift is given freely with no strings otherwise it’s not a gift. Don’t give it to him but if he works for it, it’s not a present. Forbidding him to see his friends off property seems mighty controlling too. Maybe you being livid isn’t the most constructive way to discuss life choices with your son, who is doing what normal people do at his age. Try modeling better communication skills for him. You clearly want to positively influence him. Tweak your style and calm down.

  13. NTA your child is clearly stating their preference and taking care of themselves. I’m glad you’re supportive. It’s sad Abigail is lonely but it’s not your kids responsibility to ensure her wellbeing at the cost of their wellbeing.

  14. NTA he’s projecting. Keep knocking it back to him. There is no difference in the two past times.

  15. YTA she’s made you an amazing offer to participate in getting your finances in order. (Funny how you itemized all her debts but not yours) She may understand your debt to more frivolous in nature perhaps? And instead of gratitude, you gave her a counter offer that would leave her holding the bag if you reneged and you might not be that good of risk.

  16. NTA You should stop lending money at all to your mom. You should pay rent instead since you are 18. This way she can allocate that money as needed. Also it will give you tenant’s rights. She won’t be able to kick you out on a whim. You should find out what your rights are. If she has not paid you back without interest, why would you think she would pay you back with interest? Best to Stop enabling your mom. I’m sorry you’re in a position like this but you need to toughen up or she will never stop harassing you for money. Also, I’d work really hard to get your GED and hopefully learn a trade skill. Good job for being responsible with your money and working so hard. I don’t know what to say about your dad. That he’s working three jobs and still can’t get by without borrowing money from you is really tough. I guess as long as he continues to pay you back… Good luck.

  17. NTA I’m sorry your bro died. I’m sorry he had a rough go. Your mom sounds exhausting.

  18. NTA tell her your observations (if you want). your child is your responsibility and if this person is undermining you then it makes your job harder. Until you see a real shift in her behavior, you have no choice but to prevent her from spending time with your kid alone.

  19. ESH it’s not that big of deal but why do people feel the need to constantly talk about themselves in general? Most people talk about uninteresting aspects of themselves. Doing so at work is just eye rolling.

  20. Excuse me for asking but are you saying people with aphantasia can’t form memories, because that’s kind of a baffling claim to me. I can’t be the only aphant that forms memories just fine - just without processing visuals the same way?

  21. No prob. I’m certainly no authority on aphantasia, so I welcome anyone to correct any misunderstanding I might have. I think like many ways the brain functions, aphantasia can be seen on a spectrum. So, I think that’s great you have a good memory. Some people like me can’t form clear memories. Apparently the same area of the brain that deals with mental visualization also helps with storing memory. So, in my case, my memories are very vague. Sometimes a memory might be recalled by someone prompting it and/or I ask for their description and sometimes it jogs. Other times I got nothing like it didn’t happen. Even good close friends, I forget about for awhile which is why I scroll my contacts often to think about them. I thought I had brain damage which I did have a concussion or three from sports and a car accident so it’s not an impossibility. But really this has been life long thing, so I think it’s more probable I’m aphantastic. (Lol still don’t know if I’m saying that right) I remember wondering why I couldn’t recall all the concerts I went to in HS when all my friends, knew year, stadium, Opening band etc. Even months later I’d forget. I stopped going bc I thought what was the point. How I remember that detail is weird to me. Why do I remember my thought process but not the event? It’s a mystery. I hope I answered your question.

  22. Aphantasia doesn't have anything to do with your ability to form memories though. Memory doesn't have any visual component, the visual component is just a display form. See it like your memory is a data file, and the visual component is an image viewer of image data.

  23. I appreciate your comment. However, from the several studies on aphantasia and memory that I’ve read, there is a clear connection. A quick google search will show that’s the case. I’m glad your experience is different.

  24. I haven't been researching this for awhile now. (I was diving into massive autism study) I didn't realize that I was missing something in my head(visual pictures) until I watched Reading minds through body language | Lynne Franklin | TEDxNaperville. Here's the link if anyone is interested.

  25. You describe your eyes closed vision exactly as I experience it.

  26. I was in a band for over ten years. I wrote all basic music (not leads) and the lyrics. We performed live and did a few recordings. I used rhythm as the basic building block for all songs which also prompted my memory. Rhythm could be keyboard, bass or drums. I had to learn cheats if you will bc of my lack of music memory. Also massive amount of repetition to build muscle memory. But to answer your question, rhythm and lyrics are the same to me. lyrics have their own rhythm intertwined with the beat. Some songs come easier, but I’ve mostly been drawn to the use of language sketching meaning. But the memory of both is the same for me.

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