A Marvel of Engineering, me, photography/photomanipulation, 2022

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  1. I would recommend comp sci since you'll likely have to learn stats regardless for almost everything you can do with a cog sci major.

  2. Wow how did you get that blue!! Awesome work!

  3. I have a running list of these I can share later if people would be interested. After learning about this I realized how much of the songs I listen to reflect my attachment style so I could make multiple playlists probably. When it comes to media, most recent additions have been Sandman characters. I'm starting to get obsessed with Sandman actually it's sad.

  4. This is such a validating thread! I also think Marina reads avoidant. I think lots of success oriented artists do, especially Taylor swift, if we take her at face value. I feel like Archer is the FA anthem haha.

  5. Really? I'm not super familiar with Taylor Swift but she seemed AP to me, but maybe that's just the media image. I will check out Archer!

  6. I don't see much avoidance here but from what I understand she cheated on you. Why do you think you would be in the wrong for cutting contact with her?

  7. There is no "no contact" rule, no contact is for you.

  8. Yeah okay but anyway, can it still make them want to contact you after a while (even if they are just friends/online friends)?

  9. There is no "yeah okay but anyway", it's for you, not to get someone to do anything. We have no idea what that person would do because we are not mindreaders.

  10. The idea of an impossible bridge has been following me for a long time and I've already done few variations of impossible bridges. This is however the first time I managed to integrate it into an environment.

  11. This is so well made I thought it was real at first!

  12. I'm using both (Cousin & Passport). I'm using Hobonichi as a planner+journal, and I use the Passport TN as a sketchbook, creative writing, and sometimes scrapbooking/tracker (of shows etc.). I was also thinking of starting a media review insert on the TN, I will probably move creative writing somewhere else too since it's too small for it.

  13. A step to take for working on this would be impulse management. Learn to sit with your feelings instead of taking immediate action on them, if you really have trouble with it, distracting yourself might be helpful until the physiological state passes at least. I have ADHD (and I think traumatized people, which you sound like, have similar functioning) so not being impulsive is very difficult for me, but distracting myself is easy especially if I use high dopamine or dopamine trap methods like games etc. Maybe that could be helpful.

  14. I think the typical DA response would be to place distance and/or break up but maybe she couldn't do those on a reality show and was forced to constantly expose herself to it which lead to this. So it might be the circumstances ie they took away her normal coping and trauma responses from her so she was left with that.

  15. Well she did break up with him during the show. During the reunion, the hosts wanted them to discuss their former relationship, so maybe that kinda pressured her too (?), relating to what you said about her normal coping and trauma responses being taken away. Maybe she was being put on the spot. That’s a very interesting point you made.

  16. Ah fair fair! Maybe she was just at her limit then, I just wanted to offer alternative explanations.

  17. Aw this is so sweet. I admire people who try to be good parents because it is so difficult. Nice to know you're doing well and that your kid is as well, even when you're struggling internally, be proud!

  18. The issue is here, this is her body and weight which is an incredibly sensitive topic for a LOT of people. What if she has an eating disorder? Being a blunt asshole is not going to make your partner feel better or slap sense into them about their weight and eating. There are times to be blunt, and there are times to be sensitive.

  19. People like this are always more concerned about their title of iM aN hOnEsT pErSoN than the wellbeing and mental/physical health of the other person and no one is buying it. Self centered af

  20. that shit always annoys me. I've had "brutally honest" friends. They're just mean and don't care about anyone's feelings but their own.

  21. I used to be a brutally honest person I definitely cared more about being honest than whatever the fuck they were feeling. There are a million ways to express concern about someone's weight that don't include being a dick, that's not being honest, just say you're an asshole and go.

  22. With talking about yourself, there might be a gender difference there tbf. I don't talk much about myself either (irl lol) and I've seen people say that a lot on this sub. But definitely a good list!

  23. The more dismissive avoidant men I’ve known have talked about themselves a lot but not in a deep way if that makes sense. Like things they’re interested in or stuff happening for them but not their embarrassing feelings about it. Fearful avoidants in my observation get pretty deep really fast (they hate the small talk “what’s ur favorite color/band/food” talking stage lol) and want that connection up front… but they’ll avoid going deep about things relating to the two of you. In my experience they’ll talk about their feelings toward other people (like their family or friends) but have a hard time talking about vulnerable things that are exclusive to your relationship.

  24. Hmm I would say that is valid observation when I think about it and the people I knew. As a difference I do feel very bored of the initial small talk stage, I tend to steer things to "deep" topics pertaining to discussions around interests, opinions, philosophy etc. Like things that reveal personal things about you in a roundabout way but are not directly personal. I wouldn't share how I feel about other people unless I really trust someone but I think that's related to my specific life experiences than FA. Though if you get me drunk I guess it's more likely to go that way.

  25. Just tell him. You don't have to be okay with teasing it depends on the person.

  26. I am really sorry you're going through this, it sounds very difficult, especially with the way he keeps trying to contact you and pushes the knife further when you know you have to walk away. That sucks. I hope you can move on soon.

  27. This sounds like there is more going on than AP. You can't fix someone that lacks this much insight. Set boundaries for yourself and recommend therapy to her.

  28. I felt this pretty hard. I've been hanging around the Healthy Gamer space for years now, and I am sort of involved off and on. There was a while where I was on the Discord pretty much daily, in voice chat every night making friends. In truth, part of my motivation to do this was to help provide a different perspective, to show that woman are just human, and give the gents on the channel a safe space to interact with a woman. I also just genuinely find that I get along well with men, and it was a way for me to socialize even in lock downs or when I was suffering from health problems that kept me home and exhausted but seeking connection.

  29. People will literally tell you you are gaslighting them when you try to explain that you are a person with complex thoughts, background, and emotions and not just some NPC pre-programmed with Sexual Content Only, people really don't get how exhausting that is to do over and over again and to get nowhere with it. If I'm gaslighting you then have at your reality, but make no mistake that most women will continue to opt not to be in it.

  30. You think that your palpable contempt and resentment with your laughing at abuse and shitting on your friends is not a creep-o-meter signal? Who is "they"? Traumatized and abused people are often drawn to people who will traumatize and abuse them, that is not women, that's people. It is your problem that you are separating women from people as if we are some programmed mindless imbeciles. But all of us have enough wits to stay away from those who show vocal and clear hatred like you are.

  31. Well, if he is inconsistent, unreliable, doesn't make you feel safe in the relationship, you might be incompatible (in terms of kids), aren't your feelings normal? It reads a little bit like you're pushing yourself to engage in something you don't have real interest in engaging, and with the way it is described it would probably be a better decision not to engage anyway. I don't think if in 4 years there has been no improvement and has been casual, that it's gonna change any time soon.

  32. You're right, it becomes difficult to see if you're keeping distance just to protect yourself or if it's actually not something worth pursuing. I think I've let it go on too long.

  33. I completely get that. I think the key is discerning when you have valid reasons, and 4 years with no progress on unreliable behavior seems like a valid reason to me.

  34. I am kinda scarred/ scared by looking at posted by new and seeing gore/ porn and what I see when looking at hot/ best doesn't really make it better lmao

  35. Like see even this people just jump on you so they can flex their ego, as if you said something monstrous that deserves this level of ridicule. This place has become unhinged and unwelcoming. It's such a sharp contrast to what Dr. K tries to teach it gives me whiplash. I wonder sometimes if people even watch the videos.

  36. It's alright, no one jumped on me. It's just pixels on a screen and I haven't gotten messages. My guess is that most these people haven't been on the internet long enough yet to learn it isn't a nice place where you want to see everything.

  37. It's good that you are resilient to it. Good luck.

  38. The paper and the design for me. Writing on other types of paper has started to feel really unsatisfying, I would start buying the plain notebook for everything if it wasn't so expensive. Also I love that the grid is small because my handwriting is tiny.

  39. I get that the notebook isn’t cheap, but it is actually one of the cheapest ways to get that paper. I think Hobonichi must get a good price because if their bulk orders.

  40. True! I just feel like it would be a waste to spend that much money for something I'm just gonna write lecture notes on when I could get a 2€ notebook to do the same :(

  41. Kurzgesagt had a video on this that was very cool!

  42. No contact is for you. Stop being weird especially with the gender thing.

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