1. Nobody ends up with three such badass closest friends who isn’t badass themselves! I’m impressed with their anti-shenanigans, but I’m equally impressed with your levelheadedness and determination and your own badassery. So happy for you & your husband! Mazel tov!

  2. Sorry maybe my original post wasn't clear, over the years I've done a bunch of random day hikes where a portion overlaps the AT, so it's not really clear to me how many miles along the trail I've actually done. That's what I'm trying to figure out. You're right, once I know how many miles along the trail I've done I could calculate the total or % without an app

  3. No they wouldn’t get into a fight I don’t think. But idk self image status to them maybe? I couldn’t tell u. I have no problem being the lead and as the man of the family I think thats right also. All this shit going on is really a masculinity-eraser

  4. I think it’s great that you’re willing to take the burden off of her completely. Is she ready to 100% cut contact with her parents? I think you could make it happen without her having to communicate much, as long as she really does want that. But that’s a big step to cut off parents completely (not saying it isn’t needed, just saying it’s a challenging pill to swallow).

  5. This is my photo, and yes, I've hiked all the major routes to Machu Picchu. Salkantay, Ancascocha (where this photo was taken), Ausangate, Willoc Alta and the Inca trail.

  6. There are a lot of things confusing me about this … but if this is your photo but not your post, then I’m curious to know which route was your favorite?

  7. grow bags aren't great for a balcony because they are permeable. they're also too flexible for moving a plant often; if you have an established plant and you have to pick up the bag to more it, the bag will deform and disturb its root structure.

  8. Thank you so much for your detailed reply. This all hits home for me. I’ve felt, in the very argument, that he spends more time saying that I am combative and toxic for bringing up issues I simply find challenging and want to discuss than he spends looking inside to reflect and understand why I am upset. I am left feeling unheard in the end, and he continues the behavior. Alternatively, he has once or twice yelled at me and taken things to the extreme, then regretted it and reverted back to his original habits.

  9. Wow yeah that sounds like an extremely taxing emotional experience. For what it’s worth, I think it says a lot that you were able to process my input & identify the disfunction bc it can be so hard to face & I really respect you for that!! I’m really glad your eyes are opening to the ways you’ve been manipulated, even though I know it’s painful. I hope you find healing & can have some support to sort through this!!

  10. I guess I should also ask if its worth it to wear long pants come summer in the heat. Or would it be more beneficial to switch to shorts and carry deet for my legs?

  11. I know it’s not a real answer but “worth it” is kind of a personal thing… I really like wearing shorts so I prefer to treat my socks/gaiters and put picardin on my legs unless I know I’m going to be walking through thick tall grass or brush all day.

  12. Only deet and not to be that guy either but how would you know what the trail is if you have not gotten to it. For example lets say you start off in some short grass like a normal field. But midday you start to enter some tall grass or even just overgrown stuff. Would you just tough it out until you set up camp or pull over and put your long pants on.

  13. I mean it’s not a perfect system. If I can tell that’s the kind of terrain I’ll be in for a while then yes, or if I notice I’m brushing my legs a ton and it’s constantly on my mind, then I’ll put them on. I kind of just go with my gut and it’s not always right but also there’s definitely many times where you know you’re just in brushier spots for a while. Overall, I try to maximize the time that I’m free to think about/observe whatever I feel like, not worry about the walking part. So it’s kind of just whether I’m worried I’ll end up with ticks or if the scrapes are getting to me. Then I put on pants, and think about more enjoyable things. It may not be the right system for everybody but I’m happy with it! If you haven’t got a system you love yet, I think Picardin lotion is worth a try. It’s much nicer to work with in my opinion and I feel like it’s effective for longer

  14. Nice! I managed to get one for July, and my itinerary also has me going over Fox Creek and Mount Meek Pass the same day. Not ideal, but I’m hoping it’s doable enough.

  15. In my opinion, this barely feels like two passes because the shelf connects them and the shelf is pretty flat. I wouldn’t worry about that section. Once you’re up on the shelf it’ll be smooth sailing, just do it early in the day

  16. .... FRICK I literally just planned my trip today too. One day too late in planning. How funny.

  17. I got a walk up permit in august, it wasn’t too difficult. You just have to be there well before they open, the day before you want to start your hike.

  18. Link to info? I want to be educated on it! I can’t find much more than anecdotal stories, no facts on it specific to trail

  19. Not trying to instigate and just trying to add on to this, but the statistics would show that while underreporting is definitely more prevalent by men, the number of women who underreport will still always be higher, just based on the fact that women are sexually assaulted significantly more often than men.

  20. Not instigating, I think we’re trying to communicate basically the same thing. Yes, men are relatively more underreported (their number is proportionally more affected by unreported instances), but that is no where near significant enough to change the fact that it’s a much bigger concern for women (the flat numbers are higher for reported, unreported, and basically any other parameter you want to consider). plus a little context for how the trail may affect either of those populations.

  21. When he told them we asked them not to do this, they just laughed!!! I didn’t realize how bad it was until they got up here and my boyfriend had to make multiple trips out to their car to retrieve all of this stuff.

  22. This is the answer. Nothing will change until this happens. Similar bluntness will be necessary for the baby-grabbing stuff too. She is treating “no” as a suggestion because OP and boyfriend are giving in when the suggestion is ignored.

  23. Not overreacting!! Your husband is going with his mom not because it’s what he wants for himself / is a good decision for your family, but because he’s afraid of her emotional punishment. And she’s taking ground that you’d prefer her kept out of because of that. Regardless of whether there are healthy families out there that take mother-son trips, you’re accurately noting that this is wack.

  24. I’ve been using wide Merrels, but just picked up a pair of Altra All weather mids. Topos I think also makes wide shoes, and then you’ve got the barefoot brands like the vivobarefoot tracker and some xero shoes which are an acquired preference maybe but I like them a lot!

  25. I guess it depends how warm you run, which is a very unsatisfying answer, I’m sure.

  26. Oh Honey. You need to get out of there. If your boyfriend really is changing then he will gladly go with you and your daughter. Your MIL is gaslighting and abusing you. She is not being kind. Before there is irrevocable damage please get your daughter away from that toxicity. Good luck.

  27. Bf is clearly not changing much, it’s a clear sign of abuse to be taunting and accusing her constantly of unfaithfulness/etc for having one night to spend with friends without him there to control it… also all the isolation he’s created..

  28. Bear spray is way more intense and effective than your standard pepper spray, even though it’s the same chemicals - it’s a much more concentrated formula and sprays much farther. I carry bear spray as a woman hiking alone even when there is virtually 0 risk of bear/wildlife danger.

  29. Removed. We have a winter hiking mega thread pinned

  30. For clarity.. does this mean no individual posts about winter backpacking allowed at all while that thread is pinned?

  31. The theory is that the bigger the pack, the more you will carry. Forcing yourself to pack everything into a 48 or 55l means smaller, lighter gear and less luxury items. Having extra capacity just in case' often means that you fill it with 'just in case' items that you never use.

  32. ^ good and concise. This is the reason. Just wanted to add because I’ve heard this follow up question from new backpackers: even if you manage to constrain yourself to the necessities and just have extra space “just in case”, it’s going to be harder to keep the weight distribution ideal. The goal is to keep the weight in the lower middle of your back, and very close to you. A 55L pack is made to keep 55L ideally spaced and tight to your back. 75L and you’re going to have to work much hard to tension every strap on the bag the exact right way or your balance will be totally off as things slide down & out away from your body.

  33. Received a Christmas picture of them, with “merry Christmas, something trite about Christmas spirit, love MIL & SFIL” written on the back, in an envelope, delivered by a relative we have asked multiple times to stay out of it. She could not mail it because we will not share our address with her, and are extremely low contact with her. (Meaning, will not respond to almost any communication from either of them). How SO allowed this arrangement (he ok’ed them coming by with it), I have no idea. Somehow slipped his mind that it sends very mixed messages about the boundaries we’ve set. Cherry on top: delivering relative tested positive for COVID hours later.

  34. Never worn one while hiking but I have a Patagonia sun shirt for fishing that’s held up to some wear and tear. Can’t speak on the smell part tho

  35. I have the Patagonia one and it really hangs on to stink. It is polyester, which as someone else explained, is more prone to hold oils and start to smell. So if that’s the top feature you’re looking for, I would avoid. Everything else about it is great though

  36. Is yours a newer one treated with Hei-Q? That stuff really works.

  37. I believe so? Bought in August, longest I’ve worn it without washing is 6 days, and at the end of the trip it took two washes to get it back to nuetral. Everyone disagreeing with me is making me wonder if I’m somehow just wearing it wrong haha

  38. that’s on me - it was poorly named but it was in there so I made it a little clearer. I’ve had the same waterproof first aid kit for a couple years that mostly consists of Benadryl, ibuprofen, and moleskin

  39. I must’ve missed it! Sounds good, & I like some of the updates you’ve made!

  40. Fair enough, I’d add a few items to your list (a Benadryl or two, a packet of Neosporin) but some of that is personal preference. I may have overshot by calling that list “first aid” but originally there wasn’t any of that on the list at all.

  41. I don’t mind photos and would be happy to take them, it’s just the organized event of a Christmas card photo and sending it to her entire contact list that is bothering me for some reason

  42. I think this is mostly a personal preference thing. I wouldn’t be down for it, I would be uncomfortable too. Plenty of other people would be okay with it. But it doesn’t have to be like objectively weird across the board for you to say, no, I’d prefer not to. Do your own thing!

  43. “In some rare instances of horrific parental behavior, this may be excusable, but when the reason is politics, it is inexcusable.”

  44. But those political opinions affect real people out in the world, and don't just exist in a vacuum. If someone spouts off about LGBTQ folks, for example, even if they're not outwardly talking about anyone in particular, how does that feel if you or your own kid is LGBTQ? No amount of "Oh, but we don't mean you" will make up for 3 hours of foaming at the mouth about "groomers," or the knowledge that they're voting accordingly all year long. (We won't even get into the fact that you can also care about people who aren't related to you.)

  45. There’s two issues coming together in your comment - one is “knowing they’re voting accordingly” and two is the spiteful speech, especially in front of kids.

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