1. holy shit. this is real? I've literally never read a post about parent friends acknowledging the change and loneliness that comes for a cf person when their friends/family has kids.

  2. Yes, I was shocked that it turned out this way but I was glad that I tried to have the conversation! I was so close to giving up.

  3. She didn’t come out and say that, so it would be safe if I assumed she’s talking to her audience. Which is most likely people who are into “healthy habits”. Most likely working out. Sodium, water and carbs prior to working out will do wonders.

  4. I wouldn’t assume that her followers are athletes, just because they’re into “healthy living”. No one needs a tablespoon of salt in their water lol

  5. I didn’t say her audience was athletes. To say “No one” needs it when you agreed some do is kind of odd. As well the term “need” is weird. You don’t “need” many things.

  6. A tablespoon of salt is >17grams of sodium. Most people need ~3 grams max. If you’re doing extreme exercise in hot conditions you may need up to 1g/hr of exercise. So no, no one needs a tablespoon of salt in their water (unless you really hate your kidneys!)

  7. Childfree is definitely not a spectrum. I'm not saying this to exclude people, it's just something you are or you aren't. It's an active life choice of not wanting to birth or parent any children, as opposed to being childless. If you'd have children if life circumstances were better, you are childless. If you're open to adoption, you're not childfree. If you think you might change your mind in the future, you're not childfree, but a fencesitter. I am childfree and have been like that forever. This means I don't have and I'll never have any children by choice: biological, adopted, foster or stepchildren under any circumstances, ever. If we call the people open to having kids one day (adopted or not) childfree, then what should we call people like me?

  8. For some people it seems to be an innate thing - they just don’t want children and so they are choosing to be childfree. Other people might be ok with having a kid in some sense but have also decided to be childfree and are actively choosing that. So in both situations it’s an active choice, but it seems like a lot of people consider people in the second category childless and not childfree because they don’t innately not want to be parents but are instead actively choosing it.

  9. Sounds to me that you're more concerned with the title "childfree" more than being childfree. The label isn't important. If you don't have kids and don't want kids, that's biological/step/adoption/whatever, then you're childfree.

  10. I agree, but it’s hard to engage in this subreddit sometimes because people can be very antagonistic about things unless they’re black and white.

  11. For me there’s a certain level of grief that comes with the decision to be childfree even though I know it’s right for me. I feel that come up sometimes when friends get pregnant even though I don’t want that for myself.

  12. Oh wow! Thanks so much for the insights. We definitely want a vet that is caring and won't traumatize our babies..

  13. I love Dr Kate Barnewitz, but last time i was there I saw a random person and he was just as good!

  14. So you’re telling me that the foster agency called her without notice, on a Sunday, to place the baby back with family immediately? And this happens right after she makes a cutesy mom fail video about almost catching the house on fire. Jdip is no where to be seen, so is he out of town and didn’t get to say bye? In which case why would she not say how upsetting that is for him? Orrr is she mad that her fucking internet antics caught up to her and he’s pissed about it?? I think the angry tears are bc they’re removing the baby from her care and she’s spinning it to look like reunification.

  15. This definitely does happen - usually not on a Sunday but they do want to move kids to kinship as quickly as possible as soon as the family gets approved.

  16. If there were immediate concerns about the baby's safety while in her care would that be a reason to move him asap.

  17. True, but I honestly don’t think that’s what’s happening here. I suspect they called her Friday to say he’s moving Monday and she’s playing it up like they called her with only hours notice for the ~drama~.

  18. I mean it’s just salad…. Eating at restaurants just still just ordering plain vegetables isn’t what I’d call recovered from an ED….

  19. My thoughts exactly! Reunification doesn’t go this fast, less than a month! No way.

  20. I just realized something else after another commenter said reunification doesn't happen this fast. If she was claiming the baby was having withdrawals a few weeks ago (which I still think was BS) there is no way they would be ready for unification this fast right?

  21. I know screens before bed = bad, but I love playing word games and crosswords on my phone before bed- it helps my brain focus on something relaxing and I get sleepy and calm… and then fall asleep!

  22. Y’all are in for a wild ride learning about how fucked the child welfare system is. Buckle up.

  23. NOPE. That is purely confidential information. Idk what state you’re living in but Texas doesn’t allow anyone to disclose any information to foster parents why the child is going into foster care. Anything regarding the child being removed from parents is only between CPS, the family, and the foster care agency. Foster care agency shouldn’t be getting details, just basic information and they cannot share the reason for removal with the foster parents.

  24. I’m in WI. We have only had one placement, and I guess they didn’t actually tell us all that much, we just learned stuff along the way (the GAL told us a lot). It was frustrating for us because shit would happen with the kids and we’d be blindsided - like if they’d told us more we could have anticipated things more in order to support the kids. If we want to be fostering the whole family, it’s harder if we have zero information. Of course, we never told anyone outside of closest family anything about their case (& even then it was only what they needed to know for safety).

  25. This makes sense and I understand it can be frustrating because obviously if more information was shared, foster parents would have a better understanding of how to care for the child

  26. But then you have people like this who will exploit any information they’re given, so I get that we have to protect kids/families in these situations too. It’s a balance.

  27. Where does this person live? The social media rules are different state by state, where I live you can fully post the kids (I don’t) as long as the post doesn’t say anything about foster care in it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  28. “We were supposed to be foster parents” THEN WHY DID YOU INTENTIONALLY GET PREGNANT??

  29. Talking about parenting but only addressing “moms” in her post… 🙃🙃🙃

  30. As stupid as this video is it just proves she’s trying to cosplay mom/replace baby’s actual mom. She got so offended at being called out that she had to prove she’s a “mom”

  31. The timing of their Colorado trip was way too perfect for this to have been through the state. They knew when they were getting this baby, so my vote is #1.

  32. Agree, to get a perfect little white newborn the day you open your home? No fuckin way.

  33. I had the same thought about the age - seems like it’s older than a few days for sure!

  34. I know every situation is different, but a child getting to see their parents should be celebrated in situations when they are separated. Especially at this point in the game — if it’s 3 years down the line and there’s been a bunch of traumatic shit then yeah maybe you are a little more hesitant. But you also keep that shit to yourself, not post it all over the internet!!

  35. Question for foster parents.. do you call the child’s mother “biological mom”? Makes me think she thinks she’s the child’s new mom like in an adoption. But maybe foster parents do call themselves mom and dad and I’m just uneducated so that’s why I’m asking

  36. No, I called her “the girls mom” and referred to myself as foster mom/parent. I was never their mom!

  37. Definitely does not suck for the kids in this case. It is a good thing. It keeps the children safe.

  38. Children shouldn’t be placed with people who can’t make safe choices about who can watch them safely. The intent is to let kids have as normal of a childhood experience as possible, and to help foster parents by allowing us to take breaks and use our support systems. For example, foster parents can say yes to sleepovers, sports, camps, etc etc, normal childhood things that foster kids used to miss out on before this policy was put in place.

  39. There is background checks on people before they are allowed to watch foster children. It’s to ensure their safety. Yes, foster parents need breaks too but not at the expensive of the child.

  40. I understand what you’re saying but it’s not true (at least in my state, but I think federally) - foster parents can make “prudent” choices about parenting their foster kids in the same way they would parent their biological kids, and the goal is to help foster kids have the most normal childhood experience they can while out of their home.

  41. Interesting. I am almost 100% positive nothing like this is ever asked during our licensing process. Adoption home studies are more stringent than licensing home studies, but even then I don’t think any of this would be addressed unless the caregiver/prospective caregiver was openly emotional about it or otherwise exhibiting that their functioning and ability to care for a child was obviously impacted by it.

  42. Wish it were universal so we didn’t have situations like this one on our hands.

  43. And on the other side of things, I know how much of a need there is for foster homes in many areas, and I know that making the process more complicated and difficult won’t make it any easier to license and retain foster parents. NOT saying that should be of more importance than a child’s safety

  44. I agree, it’s an imperfect system. I don’t think people should be denied just because they’re experiencing infertility, but it should definitely be addressed in foster trainings.

  45. Is this not illegal? I thought you weren’t allowed to do things like this with foster children? Even if his face isn’t shown, she’s a “public figure”

  46. I am the oldest of 4 and don’t remember doing any care of my siblings but I had a SAHM who was very committed to being a parent so that’s probably why.

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