AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?

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AITA for telling a girl to stop wasting food?

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  1. That's what I was thinking. Like I get, how mechanics have grease under their nails even after showering, but in general, should a thorough shower some good scrubbing prevent him from stinking up the shindig?

  2. I used to work in an office where we had a regular client who was a farmer of some sort, pig, goat or sheep (I can't remember) and they reeked to high heaven. It was kind of unbelievable how strong it was AND this poor person didn't even smell it. Eventually their counselor brought up the smell and they were embarrassed but tried to clean up - they still smelled even after showering and wearing "clean" clothes. I think unfortunately it's a real issue for people who are "in it" all day, every day. But I imagine with a couple days away and perhaps clothes that are not stored in the same area as where they live or work, it will get better. The smell can't linger forever!

  3. ^Second. I use a LeSportsac pouch measuring 5"x7" that I think is technically a "cosmetic bag". It's the best solution I've found.

  4. Do you usually struggle with motion sickness? If so have you tried Dramamine? I don't usually get motion sick during turbulence (I hate turbulence but it doesn't make me feel sick other than incredibly anxious) - it's when the plane banks significantly after takeoff or during landing approach, or does that slowing/dropping thing to adjust altitude that makes your stomach feels like it's sinking. I have to sit upright and plant my head firmly against the headrest and either face forward or close my eyes to fight it.

  5. Have you ever talked with anyone about interviewing strategies? A job/career coach? Interviews, for most people, are dreadfully anxiety-inducing, let alone if you also are managing an anxiety disorder on top of that. As someone who often interviews people, I try to do all I can to make it accessible and help interviewees succeed. For example, I give questions verbally but also in writing (I produce a written copy of the questions for in-person, and post them in the Zoom chat if virtual). I also let them know it's okay to take pauses, think about their responses, and cue them if they lose their place or don't fully answer a question. Another tip that helps me as a fellow highly anxious person is to write down a list of anticipated questions that includes scenarios, examples from my past work experience, etc. that I can draw from in real-time based on anticipated questions (like "share a time where you had a difficult interaction with a coworker/superior/subordinate" type questions). This can be so hard to wrap our heads around, but interviewers *want* you to succeed; they are expecting you to do well. In most cases, they aren't trying any "gotcha" strategies to make you flounder and fail during an interview. It also sounds like you could really benefit from practice, practice, practice with a trusted friend or family member who will give you honest and real-time feedback about their observations of you. Role playing can be super awkward but also highly beneficial. I hope this helps!

  6. What are you listening to? Do you know what you like? What kinds of instrumentation, genres of classical music, etc.? Have you noticed anything about the pieces you're able to listen to with attention/no problem? It sounds like you're just not engaged with it, which is okay. There is so much out there in the world of classical music.

  7. The car on the right didn’t even stop for the light (to treat it as a stop sign) and FFS people need to wear light colored clothing when walking at night!

  8. Agreed - drivers ABSOLUTELY need to pay attention since a simple accident could be deadly bc of them, but pedestrians walking/running at night also need to give drivers even less of an excuse to not see them. It doesn't even need to be light colored clothing - it can be a headlamp, a light-up neck ring or bauble on the dog... literally anything to be better seen that you could keep at the front door or in your car so you're prepared at all times regardless of clothing.

  9. I don't even have kids and know this is real from my parenting friends...

  10. I feel like there's a lot of missing info here? Why doesn't the sister support the marriage other than "there might be someone you love more"?? IMO that is an AH reason to discourage a marriage alone. Although it's certainly no the "norm", the age gap and the short dating time before engagement are not unheard of. So... I feel like OP is not being forthcoming about the real reasons sister is against this marriage...

  11. INFO: are you banning him from wearing *anything* gender nonconforming to this party, or just the outfit of his choice? There are two things going on here: 1) the issue of an appropriate choice of clothing for a semi-formal event (which, I agree that maybe a brightly colored crop top and denim skirt are not a good choice) and 2) the issue of your child wanting to wear gender nonconforming clothing. Your child's "new found interest in fashion" sounds very much like it's tied to their gender identity. Even at 16, refusing this could be harmful, although I know that's not the intent. People don't forget being told that who they are is "too much". I think the two issues need to be separated and offer that they can wear whatever they want but that it needs to be within the dress code.

  12. I gotta say, my judgement changed when OP added that her kid was the only one who got a "buddy" on this trip and also shared the gender role stuff this teacher is pulling. My original judgement had been that maybe this was the teacher's way of getting the class to mingle/socialize with students that are more left out and OP was more concerned about protecting her daughter from uncomfortable social situations than what was actually going on. But this instructor is just wrong and OP is NTA.

  13. I would definitely say our box is a bit cliquey, but this kind of stuff is just obnoxious:

  14. I would not concern yourself with this - ours also charges $20 but we get a couple freebies. It's not the owner coordinating this year so I honestly don't know who gets the money. I think you just need to decide for yourself if you want to do it or not for $20. We're all consenting here and nobody owes us a deal, in my opinion.

  15. Mine is not like any of the images, I don't think. I get gaps in my vision, which always manifests as not being able to visually read text correctly. It happened once while driving, and I couldn't read the words on the delivery truck in front of me, and twice when watching TV with subtitles. Letters go missing. It's my first sign that some shit's about to go down (on two occasions they were immediately followed by episodes of aphasia that lasted a few minutes, before turning in to pain).

  16. TWENTY FOUR!?? Dear lord you have so much time. But also, for a more productive answer to your question, I think we need to stop normalizing homeownership as such a huge marker of success regardless of whether or not we can afford it. I know plenty of folks who have been long-term renters (I'm talking like 10-15 years in the SAME PLACE which can't happen everywhere) and have no ambitions of home ownership or setting up roots in that way. And, if/when you can afford it, doesn't mean you have to do it. You're working for the life you want to live in all the other ways. Do you like to travel? Do you have a certain lifestyle that includes eating out, buying certain items, etc. that your salary is supporting? Do you have a specific make/model of car that feels like it's on your dream list? Are you planning to get married and/or support a family/children in the future? Are you thinking about retirement? These are all things you're working towards that don't have to include home ownership.

  17. For me, CF builds accountability. I've been through so many cycles of trying to keep myself on some sort of a training and schedule, which I'd be good at for a while, and then do less, and then stop completely. CF gives me what I need, which includes literally just having to show up and be told what to do. Not everyone needs that, but I do. You may find you're able to keep yourself successfully on a schedule on your own.

  18. I think some ppl are naturally more skilled than others at being on their hands (ie you), but damn, I've been doing CF just under a year and still struggle to get as straight up on the wall as you! Good work.

  19. Mahler symphonies are my jam but also like, very, very long. It's sometimes hard to convince friends to go w/ me to a Mahler symphony when they see 70-90 minutes in the program. For one piece. Lol.

  20. Some people have been doing CF for years. Stop comparing and spend the time to learn proper technique etc. Your first 6/12 month should be focused on that and you'll keep improving

  21. A coach also just recently laid out for me that it's okay to not excel at everything because our bodies are all different, and that's okay. Which, I've always known, but it's hard to not compare yourself to others. They were talking next to me with a newbie to our program who was like "how do you even do a pull up" while watching this very small, muscular woman do so many strict pull-ups in a row. And the coach very simply said "yes, but look at her size-to-strength ratio". She was strong but small and will certainly always have less weight to pull up against gravity than me, almost a head taller than her and a completely different body shape. It made me feel quite a bit more realistic about it. I just need to accept that it will always be hard but I will get better over time.

  22. I've never been told otherwise. The minute I step on a plane I put my headphones on and take them off after landing. On various airlines in various countries. There are some airlines whose FA will tell you to remove them for take-off and landing, though. Example: Recently flew Vietnam Airlines twice.

  23. Aer Lingus seems to have a no-headphones until takeoff policy. They asked everyone to completely remove headphones/earbuds during boarding and until takeoff, not just for the safety demonstration, and reminded individual people multiple times, which I thought was a bit overkill but I'm also not about to get kicked off a flight over not being able to wear my headphones an extra 15-20 mins! I've been on plenty of other international (mostly European) airlines that don't seem to care or enforce which is also my experience on most US airlines.

  24. YTA, you have literally no idea why her eating habits are the way they are. What if she is recovering from an ED and one of the steps of her treatment is to put more food on her plate? You are allowed to be annoyed that she is wasting food but it's also none of your business, and you need to keep it to yourself. I agree with your friend that you owe an apology. Also, she is not the problem. The dining hall is the problem. Be prepared for a reality check when you find out how much food the dining hall wastes by preparing things cafeteria/buffet style. Her waste is going to seem like nothing.

  25. I personally prefer to do one long nonstop flight so I only have to get through the flying experience once lol. I hate takeoff so the fewer takeoffs I have to endure the better. Also with connections and layovers there are more things bound to go wrong i.e. flight delays, losing luggage, etc.

  26. Agreed, same. Shorter flights are overall easier for me to bear because the "event" is over sooner, but you can bet I'd rather be on a 10 hour direct flight than spending 24 hours travelling to the same place on 3 flights. It takes more out of me. Nope.

  27. I've definitely been doing crappy then

  28. Do you like other types of water? Like sparkling water, or even enhancements like Nuun to add to your water? I find I have to switch it up a lot in order to make myself drink more... a big Nalgene full of water just gives me dread.

  29. It is so beautiful. Other than Light Years, which made both me and my spouse a bit weepy the first time we heard it, my honest opinion when I first listened to the album in its entirety, when it came out, was disappointment. I thought it was boring, and wasn't really in to the other voices that weren't MB's. However, seeing it performed live really changed it for me, as well as watching all the visual videos that go along with it (the Mike Mills short film) that make it somewhat of a story/concept album. It's now my favorite album and one that listen to start-to-finish. I'm also surprised to see it ranked so poorly in other conversations that come up in this sub.

  30. I suppose the idea is that you must leave nothing in your car so a potential thief can see the cargo area is empty, but that's not always practical. I always at least have a roadside emergency kit back there. (It's a plain canvas bag, so someone might think it's something worthwhile.) Plus, people transport stuff in their cars. It's part of what they're for.

  31. I really think it's just being at the wrong place at the wrong time if you've otherwise done everything you can not to make your care particularly attractive to a thief. I've only been broken in to once in SF and there was nothing in my car other than junk in the center console and glovebox, which were both closed. My car at the time was a 10-year old Subaru outback. I don't know what they thought they saw. They rifled through the center console which was full of junk (not visible at all from the outside) but didn't take anything. My car was the only one around that appeared to have been busted. I just don't leave anything in my car if I can avoid it. It's kind of a pain to plan for, but dealing with the broken glass and window replacement was way more of a pain.

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