1. I like that you point out that you both need to work on healing. When only one person is healing, they either get held back or they outgrow the other person.

  2. Definitely! I got rejected recently but I am so proud of myself for not abandoning myself. I almost made a dumb decision but I knew the pain and ego burn I would feel if I did. So I stopped and backed alllll the way tf up and I am so happy I did!

  3. I think talking to her, and being careful of your wording would be best. There are ways to convey your thoughts to defensive people, so they will not feel so offended.

  4. I don’t meant YOU sounded like a brat ! Just that the way you worded it, if relayed to your mom in that way, would come off bratty to a parent.

  5. It’s defeatist because it’s the truth. No cure so no hope of living a life as fulfilling as someone who doesn’t have this problem. Just have to accept it.

  6. I don't think it's the entire truth. I think it's because avpd havers are less likely to seek so treatment is harder to research. This entire subs existence is proof we have hope. It could be used for research.

  7. Who's out there finding a partner? Weird.

  8. I feel like it's slightly easier if you're a woman. Sometimes guys will chase you because you seem mysterious and hard to get. Then they realize that you're actually really guarded and insecure then they run lol.

  9. You could wear a glowing light up sign that says "don't talk to me" on your forehead and back, and someone will still talk to you. People are dense and don't pay attention a lot of the time 💀

  10. I agree. Sometimes I catch myself doing this but I have to remember that some people are new to attachment theory and are fresh out of a break. Probably operating off of old traumas they aren't even aware they have.

  11. If you think of this as a way of keeping you dependent on her, it starts to make sense. All the things you're doing make you more independent in various ways. She senses you 'pulling away from her'/becoming independent and she sabotages the activity verbally.

  12. I think she is keeping me dependent but I don't understand why. It's like she doesn't understand that keeping me dependent on her is making me weak and makes her workload much harder. Especially when she complains she's tired and stressed out. You'd think she would want me to hurry up and be independent so she won't have to do so much.

  13. Some parents don't love their kids they are just obsessed with them .

  14. I don't doubt my mom loves us but she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and clinical depression. Sometimes she shows signs of ocd but was never diagnosed. I think she genuinely thinks her fears are likely to happen. She's seen some traumatic things growing up and has been through a lot

  15. Which is it? I've been told I'm gross for showering at night because I'm sleeping in the dirt of my bed (which is stupid because washing your sheets exists).

  16. Recently. I remember feeling like an ugly duckling as a kid. I look back and realize I looked normal. Right now, I still feel like an ugly duckling. But I have a feeling as time goes on I'll look back again and think "yeah I was normal here" lol

  17. Not turned off but it helps me gain perspective on how others probably perceive me when I act that way. I try to have empathy, but if they start crossing boundaries then I start cringing lol

  18. Or they start simping. No joke, the guy himself said he's simping for me. But he doesn't know what I look or sound like. I hid all of that shit for a reason and I'm still dealing with it.

  19. So you guys will say this then wonder why women don't want to be bothered with you 💀

  20. For me, it got better when I started waking up early and started a healthy breakfast routine. That would kickstart my whole internal engine! When I skip breakfast or do it in a hurry, my whole day is like you just described.

  21. How long were you in your routine before it started getting better?

  22. It takes a lot of practice fostering a positive inner voice and shushing the negative one. I still isolate myself for the same reason you explained, comparing myself. I try to remind myself that just because someone else is beautiful doesn't mean that I'm not. A lot of people love roses, they're beautiful flowers. But, people also love hydrangeas, peonies, lilies etc.

  23. Compliment their projects/work or tell them you enjoy spending time with them. Stay away from appearance based compliments. Whether good or bad, it's triggering. At least for me lol

  24. This comment section confirms the big victim-complex this sub has. Like OP literally went "Don't ghost people" and you guys throw an entire full blown tantrum and make excuses over the completely valid criticism. You guys make "I'm not a crybaby" post every week but then act like crybabies over the smallest criticism.

  25. If we're too much of crybabies for you, you're free to leave. People aren't always going to act how you want them to. Instead of whining, accept that they aren't the type of people you want in your life (the type who ghosts) and find people who are better suited for you.

  26. I have depression and avpd. I try my best when I can, but sometimes I can't show up for people. If someone is ghosting you, that is your explanation. They don't want to be bothered and you have to move on. In an ideal world this wouldn't happen, but expecting others to act how to want them will almost always set you up to be disappointed. If this behavior is not something you want in your life, you have every right to block the infps that do this and find people that don't.

  27. Right. And then when you tell them no, they were never my friend buddy 💀

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