I don’t understand the point of instilling myths like Santa in your kids

  1. Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!

  2. Just as a personal anecdote, I really enjoyed believing in Santa as a kid and I’m glad that my parents lied to me. Memories of excitement in my bed on Christmas Eve, listening for the sound of Santa’s footsteps on the roof… priceless.

  3. Oh yeah that was so fun. I could barely sleep and woke up at 4am. Lol family was not happy but made coffee and had fun with me and my brother (who I also woke up at 4)

  4. I second that, my parents went the extra mile to have a family friend dress up as Santa to come visit us on Christmas Eve and I remember that being so fun and great. You know what happened when I figured out Santa wasn't real? I started to help my parents keep the myth alive for my younger siblings to the point I dressed up as Santa to help my dad in a Ring video.

  5. Same! My grandpa would go on the roof and stomp around when we were kids, bringing bells with him to jingle... i look back at those memories HELLA fondly.

  6. My brother and I would sleep next to the Christmas tree to try catching Santa and we were so tired from staying up all night that we were dead asleep as our parents put ALL OF THE PRESENTS under the tree without us waking up.

  7. I agree. My son is so excited for Christmas and I don't think that's purely materialistic at all. I loved getting presents for the act itself. Someone - be it santa or your parents or whoever taking the time and money to make sure you get something you want felt amazing, it was an expression of love and when you're a kid it really does feel like magic. Yes my boy will one day find out its not real but in a way that validates the pretence much more than it diminishes it

  8. Yeah, it was so magical! Some of my best memories are waking up to find “Santa had been!” Again, I feel I need to mention the word magical.

  9. Same, I eventually realized on my own he wasn’t real, but I still cherish the memories of when I did think he was real. It felt magical as a kid.

  10. What OP does not seem to understand is that it's kind of a right of passage. You believe the simplest things, because magic. It's supposed to be fun, as a childhoods should be. He want to take that away from his kids. I truly don't hope OP wants kids if this is his true mindset.

  11. I also have very fond memories of that, but I also remember vividly how weird it was when I found out my parents have been lying to me. It took me long time to accept that Santa isn't real because I couldn't believe my parents would lie to me.

  12. Yep and 2 of my 4 children know the truth and they weren't upset at all. They are excited to do nice things under the anonymity of Santa.

  13. Talking about anecdotes, in Romania on my first year of school, I was like 7, the school had convinced the female guard to dress up as Santa for the students, and I have pictures sitting on her lap dressed as Santa and I think it's hilarious and I'm glad they did that.

  14. People saying you're traumatising your kids by making up these fantasies, need to reflect on themselves and ask how traumatized they were when they found out the truth, the answer is probably very little

  15. Once children age out of the Santa myth, it's a good lesson in critical thinking related to religion and other myths.

  16. Even as an adult, knowing we all get to exchange gifts, eat yummy food and spend the day in the pool with family gets me giddy and excited. I'm 24 and can hardly sleep on Christmas Eve, excited for Christmas day 🤣

  17. It was a respectable unpopular opinion up until OP used that particular word. No child has long lasting trust issues because they found it there is no Santa Claus

  18. Along with what dalton387 said, I think your answer could be expanded to say that the realization of this stuff being fake could make for a “soft transition” into adulthood. While it obviously isn’t really like the real transition, I think it can sort of prime them for it, giving them a kind of template for how to process the realizations through the real transition (as an analogous process, the realization that these things aren’t real may be close enough to the realization they will need to do all the unpleasant stuff in adulthood to sustain themselves (it won’t just be handed to them) for there to be some transferable logic). Basically, it’s not traumatizing them, it’s gently cracking their childhoods before the hammer really falls.

  19. I know zero people who were traumatised by finding out Santa wasn’t real…. But most people I know were also traumatised by Santa as toddlers.

  20. I knew at 6 that Santa wasn’t real but pretended I didn’t know because I thought it must be important for my parents or they wouldn’t have lied about it.

  21. I got told Santa wasn't real by my aunt, who was our Santa, telling me I wouldn't get presents from Santa anymore because she didn't want to spend the money on me. I was around 8 or so. My younger sisters got presents from Santa until they were around 12. Definitely has more to do with shit people than Santa, but that's rough on a kiddo.

  22. HahhhhAAA….I know someone who was traumatized by finding out Santa wasn’t real, but it was because they believed until they were 10 and their mom had to pull them aside and break the news because it was getting embarrassing.

  23. Most small children want to believe in magic. Fairies, witches, gnomes, unicorns, krakens, etc. it makes the world seem free and endless. Every child at one point feels disillusioned so why cut them down at the knees early? Let them make wands out of sticks and pretend to fly on brooms. Childhood innocence is so pure.

  24. I’m convinced that most of the people on this site have no joy in their lives, and they want everyone else to be as miserable as them.

  25. I'm mostly miserable now, but I had great Xmas' growing up and thinking about them during the holiday season still thaws my icy heart for a few weeks every year.

  26. Plus OP is saying that it teaches kids the wrong thing. It's the opposite - if you say Santa gave the presents and he only comes around once a year then that's better. If they knew it was you giving expensive presents, the spoiled brats may pester you relentlessly throughout the year for more presents. Simple, teach kids to appreciate the value of things instead of becoming spoiled.

  27. Santa is fun, the movies are fun, baking cookies for him is fun, trying to catch him is fun. I do not understand these adults claiming that they were traumatized because they found out Santa isn’t real??? Like A. That’s dramatic. And B. Did you have zero fun or imagination as a child?

  28. Who the fuck gets traumatized by finding out santa or the easter bunny aren't real? Lmfao one of the dumbest things I've read on this sub and that's saying a lot. Santa, tooth fairy, etc just exist for fun and it's really not that deep

  29. Absolutely. I've seen this argument before - that finding out santa isn't real is somehow traumatizing (an argument I've only ever seen on the internet). Which is absolutely idiotic. I've never known an actual person who was traumatized by finding out santa wasn't real. And honestly, if finding out that santa isn't real is the worst thing that happens to you as a kid, you should be damn grateful.

  30. “Shattered their world view” bro what? When I found out Santa wasn’t real I was like oh damn that’s crazy… anyway. It’s a fun thing for children to believe in, what’s the harm? Is it pointless? Sure you could make that argument, but so is a lot of stuff kids love. Santa is fun.

  31. Yeah. If you get traumatized by Santa not being real then you were probably gonna need a lot of therapy about real world shit later in life anyway.

  32. While I agree for the most part, doing this doesn't traumatize kids. No person looks back their childhood trauma and say it was from their parents lying about Santa existing. Unless OP is a unique case in that regards.

  33. When my kids ask, i simply ask them what they think/believe... forcing your beliefs that Santa sn't real is no different than telling them Santa is real.. i would rather challenge them to some critical thinking.. and let them decide

  34. This opinion gets posted like every week, and it never fails to feel like somebody just wanting to shit on the innocent fun of 4 through 10 year olds

  35. I really think it's teenagers trying to revolt against society customs and norms. Most of us went through it, they'll get over it in a couple years

  36. There is a lot of shit in the world and you’re questioning why people want to bring a little wonder and joy into the world?

  37. the real world is a horrible place. i treasure parts of my childhood that felt magical. santa gifts included. it's fun. i dont know why even children have to be forced to mature and miss out the fun just because adults think it's plain "lying".

  38. My classmate was a preacher kid. His parents were like this. Told them Santa was a lie from the start because they didn't want them to one day think they lied about Jesus too.

  39. If you are traumatized by learning Santa isn’t real, your parents did a poor job raising you in the first place.

  40. Because it's fun and a good way to bond with your kids. I used to get excited as fuck for Santa and the Easter Bunny. I'd snuggle up with my mom and open gifts or go through my Easter basket and share my candy with her. I miss those times and my momma dearly.

  41. So to get this straight, you don’t want to people to tell their children myths like the tooth fairy and Santa, but you’re perfectly willing to force them into believing in Jesus?

  42. To get their kids to behave. Seriously there are a ton of myths out there to get kids to behave. Santa is unique because he is a cheery fellow. Most of the others are very frightening. Keep the outhouse clean or an Akaname will show up.

  43. I don’t understand why people have to criticize stuff like this. Of all the things in the world, this is what you are worried about? It’s seems very petty. Santa Clause, tooth fairy, all these things are long term games. Kids eventually outgrow them like other toys. If parents want to give their kid s lump of coal to prove a point, more power to them . None of these things traumatize a child. Long story short, stop being petty.

  44. Someone pointed out that OP must've gotten coal in his stocking at some point to have such an opinion and if that's the case I cannot blame him 😬

  45. I don’t know if this is the intent but I see it about injecting some magic and wonder in kid’s lives. Also, I think it helps kids see that those in authority cant always be trusted and helps them let go of magical thinking at the right age. I stopped believing in god(s) around the same time I figured out Santa was bullshit.

  46. Once kids have gone through the process of realising for themselves that a story about a benevolent, all-seeing bearded guy who responds to requests for assistance and demands the adherence to strange rituals is clearly bullshit, they're in a pretty good position to reject most of the major world religions on the same grounds. That is the purpose of lying to kids about Santa. Plus it's fun.

  47. Because being able to give our children a sense of magic and wonder is probably the best part of both sides of the equation. I don't need her to know it came from me, I just want her to be happy without any obligation to thank anyone.

  48. I didn’t lie to my kids. They only care about the toys anyway. No way I was letting some stranger take credit lol . I believed in Santa as a kid but my kids just have a different, also fun, version of Xmas. I don’t think it’s a big deal one way or the other.

  49. "Teaching your kids to only be good because there is a reward involved"...sounds like you just described most religions as well..

  50. I was dragged to church regularly as a child, but it stopped by the time I was in junior high. Dad will still toss out Biblical quotes here and there, 30-some years later. Mom sighed, rolled her eyes, and commented that it was a great guidebook on how to be a decent person, but none of it was literal. That's how I found out this summer that Mom feels the same way about religion that I do.

  51. Interesting that you mentioned Jesus…. Do you happen to believe in God by any chance? Because this could get real ironic, real quick.

  52. I knew a family that didn’t do Santa because they didn’t want their kids to question if there’s a god, so…

  53. Cuz they don’t understand that even when you don’t wanna tell your kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny and stuff that society will, and then you get scared as a parent that they gonna feel like they weren’t good enough for Santa cuz good kids get presents. So you play into the shit, cuz you want you least kids to have a happy childhood.

  54. My parents never taught me that Santa was real, just a lovely story. I had wonderful Christmas's throughout my childhood and never felt it was lacking anything because of knowing

  55. This is my pathway. I grew up not celebrating Christmas, knowing not to ruin the Santa thing for other kids. I had a wonderful childhood with lots of other holidays.

  56. My parents never did the Santa thing and I don’t feel I missed out. My mom specifically chose not to because she remembered feeling lied to when she found out. You know what I remember Christmas time? Time with my family for games, good food, and special traditional movies. Why can’t that be enough for kids to have a good Christmas?

  57. My parents never told me Santa was real, it was more along the lines of "he's a spirit of joy that works thru parents everywhere so that they may buy presents for their kids and bring them joy".

  58. I didn't want to lie to my kids, so I just presented it as traditional folklore. That way, they knew they could rely on me for the truth while they still had fun during the holidays.

  59. My mom told me when I was pretty young that he wasn’t real, but it was the fun spirit of Christmas thing to do. We still baked cookies and left them out and my dad would eat them while they wrapped presents when us kids were asleep.

  60. Same here with my kid. And it’s not a thing in my culture anyways so I didn’t grow up believing in him either. She knows he’s just a Christmas character. She still loves doing all the non religious Christmas activities and all of that.

  61. Or you can teach children about where the myths comes from. Might I suggest doing the same about Jesus? It’s weird to ask what’s the point of Saint Nick & not ask the same of Jesus. He wasn’t even born on Christmas

  62. I think you’re being ridiculous OP. Kids world view and trust in parents isn’t shattered, and they aren’t traumatized. For fucks sake get a grip, it’s a fun thing for kids for a few years. If you wanna be a killjoy with your kids and tell them Santa isn’t real by all means do so. The rest of us like letting our kids think theirs still some wonder in the world.

  63. Oh yeah parents definitely should take credit for the big things, because it's fair for all and also I want that love.

  64. honestly theres nothing quite like the childlike joy of waking up to a stack of presents under the tree, thinking santa brought them. If I ever have kids I wouldn't dare consider robbing them of that experience, you're only a kid for so long there's no harm in letting them believe in a couple of harmless fantastical things.

  65. Saying children get traumatized and develop trust issues from finding out Santa isn't real is one of the dumbest things I've read in a while.

  66. This idea that it is somehow traumatizing is a very silly one. I can't think of a single person that once believed in Santa, found out it was just a story, and needed therapy as a result. I doubt that there is such a person out there, that wasn't already destined to be some kind of mental powderkeg.

  67. If I hadn't had kids or had any young kids in my family I'd probably not of understood why we do these things.

  68. I am in my mid twenties now, for christmas we still get together and now we have to coordinate so that everyone can hide their presents under the tree for the others “without being seen”, haha.

  69. The tooth fairy is actually a useful way to introduce your kids to the concept of exchanging resources for money. And teeth work exceptionally well for it cus it’s a resource that’s finite and becomes much more valuable later in life when you can’t grow more. That aside children should feel entitled to having happy fulfilling childhoods, and Christmas presents and traditions are one way for parents to show their kids that they care. I do agree that the whole rewards system for being good is somewhat toxic.

  70. I’m happy when I see my daughter so excited for Santa or the Easter bunny, she’ll learn in due time it’s me and my partner that buy the gifts but I think children should be children and not grow up to quickly

  71. I truly believed my mom wouldn't lie to me, so I defended the truth of Santa with all my heart. When I figured out she HAD been lying to me about the existence of Santa, I lost a ton of trust in her.

  72. Same reason why we instill myths auch as Gods and "higher beings" Some people just need something to believe in or to follow or to put some faith towards. Kids put their trust into Santa as if he's a powerful figure and parents use it to hype them up.

  73. Dude out here questioning fairty tales. They are little fun glimmers of hope and joy in childhood. I mean who didnt love the idea of santa growing up? Once you have grown tho its a super weird thought of some old guy coming into the house to leave presents. Honestly I see no harm in these little lies

  74. My husband has a similar view but recently got into a random argument with a strange lady about Santa Clause in front of her children... I have no idea why he even brought it up. It's fun to play pretend and buy presents

  75. There is zero doubt this post is written by somebody who enjoyed many Christmas’ with their family when they were younger.

  76. It’s just for fun man, no harm in letting a child believe in Santa and stuff like that, they’ll more than likely realize it’s not real eventually anyway

  77. Prepare for the grown up version of "be good, magically get stuff, be bad, get coal". It's like Christianity's training wheels because you actually feel the sensation of reward while you're impressionable.

  78. Jesus is NOT the reason for the season. Everything you put up and decorate with for Christmas, came from other secular winter celebrations that were in existence before Jesus entered the season. IMO I’d rather have Santa than Jesus bullshit.

  79. Christmas and Santa are fun. Me and my family bonded a lot over it as a child and my dad pretended to be Santa. I never really cared when I found out he wasn’t real. It still gave me fond memories

  80. So you hate fun and lack imagination. Great. Your children will be just as greyface cynical as yourself. Vanilla waste of time

  81. Homie you're all over the place with this. You'll never have children so you have NOTHING to worry about. This was incredibly pointless.

  82. Tooth fairy origins actually go fairly deep, first accounts are from around year 1200. It evolved from Northern European tradition of tand-fé, or tooth fee, which was paid when child lost its first tooth. In the Norse culture, children's teeth and other articles belonging to children were said to bring good luck in battle, and Scandinavian warriors hung children's teeth on a string around their necks.

  83. My kids are now adults. They loved the Santa stuff. During Christmas, we sit around and watch old Christmas videos. This includes a year when I hired a friend to play as Santa.

  84. "traumatise your child" bruh come on. I can understand being a bit upset maybe but no one is going to get traumatised from finding out Santa isn't real and the fact you're even calling it that says a lot about this sub and reddit in general.

  85. I love how you made this about Santa and the tooth fairy for examples and a great deal of comments are just about religion, and how horrible it is.

  86. I’ll never forget when my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real, I was devastated- I still wake up in a cold sweat to the reveal ringing in my ears. Hearing just now that the Easter bunny is also a lie, brought back all the trauma…To be honest I’m not sure I ever recovered

  87. And eventually you’re gonna have to tell your kids that these things aren’t real eventually, which will traumatize your child. You will have shattered their world view and give them trust issues.

  88. It's called fun. There is more to life than just rational, well thought out reasons for everything. It's fun to have fantasies.

  89. Its just to give the kids a happy time while being good dude. There is nothing traumatic about a fat old guy giving presents to good kids while drinking milk

  90. I have been told that Santa existed and I am not traumatised nor I have trust issues for that. 😅 but your point about it being dumb, yes I agree. :)

  91. Imagine not telling your kid about Santa, but instead having to tell them that they need to be quiet and keep the secret while all of their friends have a blast believing in Santa. If I were that kid I would be pissed I was missing out on the fun and wondering why my parents didn’t “lie” to me so I could join in.

  92. Not sure if you have or work with kids? But honestly it's all just for fun and being able to enjoy the smiles and giggles are priceless!

  93. Here's my personal take, as a mom. There's enough crap in this world that is serious. A hard learning experience. Anger-inducing. Sad. Devastating. Unfair. The myth of Santa lets me inject a little wonder, a little mystique into what is, all in all, a life that is really lacking that. I mean, think about it....when is the last time you felt WONDER? You anticipated something so much that you think you were going to burst from excitement?

  94. Nah, that's a big part of what makes childhood magical and I will let my kids ride that wave for as long as possible.

  95. Traumatize? Long lasting trust issues? My guy, obviously some disappointment and sadness is normal when a kid learns the truth, but nobody is traumatized for the rest of their life.

  96. You don’t want your kids to be traumatized by the st Nick story but you’re gonna tell them the one about Jesus? I don’t know any kids traumatized for more than a day when they find out Santa is their parents. But the Christian religion and it’s mythology has done more harm in this world than almost anything else.

  97. Well most kids aren’t stupid and figure out the myth well before their parents realize it. They usually just play along though cause they think it’ll get them more gifts. They also go through a couple year period where they’re on the fence but they think it’s more fun to just believe.

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