TIFU after masturbating for 6 years straight

  1. The real protagonist of this story is Freckles and the fact that it sounds like she had you jackhammering her to death for three weeks.

  2. Honestly tho, the not cumming was probably the least of the problems there other than how it allowed the other issues with not slowing down or stopping sooner

  3. Every time I 'get' one of these reference comments I feel like something special happened and I got to witness a reddit meme form in real time.

  4. Yeah esp after 6 years it’ll probably take a few months break for porn/masturbating at least to get sorted out. Been in the same boat & it just takes time/discipline & it works itself out

  5. Yep. Had to go almost nuts (pun not intended) for a few months without beating the meat until little Johnny understood that he was only going to be served vaggies for dinner.

  6. Oh lol the fact that she simply couldn't be with you anymore - instead of you possibly just not continuing to pound her for too long every time - is extremely funny to me.

  7. After our first night together was a catastrophe, I made sure afterwards to always check in with her before, during and after we had sex to make sure she was still okay. Her feedback to me most of the time was just to go slow and to moan more, which I did. Beyond that she didn't give me any indication that I was impaling her. But don't take my word for it though. Maybe she was subtle about it and I just missed the signs because I'm a horny idiot.

  8. Yeah, I agree on the other options besides penetration. I gotta give credit to my date at the time, she was really keen to do different things during those few weeks to help me climax. Mutual masturbation did not cross our minds though. Fuck. That would've been awesome actually.

  9. One thing I’ve had to come to terms with, as a woman, is that you can have enjoyable sex without cumming and it’s a lot more enjoyable if you don’t pressure yourself to do so. Just saying.

  10. Just did this with my boyfriend last night. We'd had a couple glasses of wine each, and knew we weren't going to "get there," but he was flying to NYC in the morning and we wanted to at least enjoy each other for a bit. It was really nice to see what feels great rather than "what makes you come?"

  11. I've gone through the nerves before. It turns into a negative feedback loop that really messes you up. The only way to break out of it is to just relax, assume you won't cum, and just focus on her.

  12. Can confirm. It's probably mostly nerves. I had trouble with one night stands twice. And gave up on hooking up, hoping a future gf would understand. And she did. I've been with my gf just over a year and the problem is mostly gone. Unfortunately masturbating may be normal, but it definitely can have a negative impact on your sex life

  13. Yeah, my anxiety definitely played a role. Hopefully I'm able to avoid masturbating for as long as neccessary. I'm also gonna take a short break from dating. Less than 6 years this time lol. I don't want this experience to be fresh in my mind when I end up sleeping with another person.

  14. 100% this. I've had times when I couldn't cum for one reason or another. Immediately turned it around on her so that she had a good time regardless.

  15. Yup, that's pretty much it, a girl might break up with you if you can't cum as some will think they aren't attractive enough or you're weird. But if you're upfront about it and make her happy and enjoy it then that's pretty much enough. Cumming will happen in time, but it won't suddenly happen because you hit the hour mark. Go at it for 5-10 minutes until she comes or you know it can happen then give up, give her another orgasm via oral/fingers/whatever she likes and leave her happy.

  16. Yeah, OPs issue isn't that he can't cum, his issue is that he's not a good lay. Understandable since he hasn't had sex in almost a decade, but it's important to understand the issue.

  17. Precisely this...if he had made it a night about foreplay and pleasing her she probably would have stuck around longer. In my 20s I was dating a gamer guy (gamer myself) and he openly admitted to having a similar issue. I dodged that bullet.

  18. Yep, had a similar situation actually. After not having had sex for like 2 years, I couldn't cum or even stay hard propperly. But I always tried to make sure she was at least enjoying herself and I think it eased the pressure a lot and eventually led to my dick fixing itself.

  19. Ding ding ding ding ding. If all you want out of sex is to cum, you're better off just whacking it. Sex it about being physically intimate with another person and giving each other pleasure. You can orgasm without jizzing and jizz without orgasming. Sex should be fun, if youre not having fun whats the point?

  20. Fr lol. This was clearly not enjoyable for either of them in the end so it makes sense she wasn't interested. Also "I'm unable to orgasm during sex". It was one person and it wasn't good sex so this is likely an overstatement.

  21. Please say this louder for the men in the back who rub your clit like they're sanding a bannister, or think inserting as many fingers as possible is the aim of the game. PORN ISNT REAL.

  22. For real. Sounds like OP didn’t care about her pleasure at all and was only focused on himself. OP, Why are you thrusting a girl so hard that she’s in pain?? Are you not communicating with her the whole time, making sure she’s comfortable and enjoying everything? Jesus.

  23. I made sure she came. My partner's pleasure always comes first. Aside from getting along socially, I think my enthusiasm towards providing oral sex was one of the reasons she wanted me to cum as well despite how uncomfortable it became for both of us.

  24. Get someone to put a finger in your butt. Forget sexual orientation, this is purely business. Find the prostate, and factory reset your cum settings.

  25. "I'm not longer interested in seeing you because you've made it uncomfortable for me to walk properly"

  26. Mate, you’ve flogged your dolphin so much that it doesn’t know what life is like outside of captivity. You’ll have to give it some time to adjust to its new life before expecting too much.

  27. I will be referring to masturbation from now on as “Flogging the Dolphin”. Thank you kind stranger for a phrase that will totally kill at a group hangout.

  28. I can tell you who said that... 22 year old me probably. At the age of 28, I think I might have had sex with the same mentality I had when I was barely out of my teens. That's me throwing a psychoanalytic spin on my answer, but the truth is, I'm inexperienced and I fucked up because I was somewhat selfish.

  29. I feel like this comment is underrated. I love having sex with my boyfriend, and he always wants to bring me to climax but I really usually just want to enjoy and appreciate the closeness & connection of being intimate with him. It definitely isn’t all about the orgasm.

  30. To preface what I’m going to say, I’m just going to admit that I am not a person with a penis, and I am never gonna pretend that I know how dicks work. They confuse the shit out of me. I’ve heard of all of the fixes people have mentioned, but I absolutely do not know how it actually feels to actually have a penis and be having that problem.

  31. Another post that shows we need comprehensive sex ed, and access to quality therapy to address issues before they fester for 6 years

  32. Same, kinda? (27f) I found masturbation and porn at an early age and that technically ruined sex for me (currently masturbate at least 6 times a day). I had sex in my teens but it wasn't a frequent occurrence- I'd rather do it myself bc I actually feel something when I do. I feel empty when I do have sex. Pretending like I'm enjoying myself only to make others happy. A reason why I stopped having sex with my husband (marriage pretty much over but for other reasons aside from this) i just couldn't put myself through it, caught myself crying at times bc of how empty I felt, couldn't understand why. Tried to stop, didn't work-it would consume my thoughts. Like you, I feel like I taught my vagina to hate sex even though it's something I think about a lot.

  33. From another woman, find a sex therapist. Don’t waste any more of your best years or lose marriages on this. You have a porn addiction. 6 times a day isn’t normal, but you have time to fix this!

  34. U know sex isnt all about cumming or thrusting hard right? U could have had a pleasurable experience for each other without blindly thrusting . Looks like porn has ruined your mind.

  35. You probably do need to dial it back and become more sensitive to less contact, but it can also have to do with how much you're into it, even subconsciously. Especially if you're stressed and worried about coming, it can get in the way and make you less engorged than you might otherwise be and therefore it's a sort of reinforcing loop. I've had to stop more than a few times because it was too much for the girl and the best thing you can do is have a positive mindset about it and keep an eye out for your partners comfort and engagement. If they're just along for the ride and you can't quite make it over the hill, just call it quits and finish outside, either with the partner if they want or while you're doing the bathroom cleanup routine. The relationship is more important and you'll eventually get over whatever the block is. Just don't sweat it if every so often things don't click.

  36. I have this problem too, and you kind of have to rethink sex: it’s not about two people making each other cum, it’s about having a good time.

  37. Did you guys try other stuff besides jackhammering her for seemingly hours at a time? Mouth stuff? Hand stuff? Kinky stuff? Pulling out and trying to finish yourself off real quick?

  38. I haven't used reddit this entire 7 years other than the occasional I'm a fucking idiot post please help me posts I make and here I stumble into this absolutely golden shit show. I'm trying to turn this into content and I'm in tears. Reddit is the best

  39. Pro tip: you can have sex and not have to ram the shit out of her so she's sore. Just go slow and enjoy it even if you can't cum. At least make it pleasurable for her until your dick gets back to normal. Might be more than a few weeks though. Good luck

  40. It sounds like you didn’t have sex. You just tried masturbating in her vagina. Try building some tension next time you try to fuck a girl

  41. Holy shit.. Why are you fucking her like an animal? If she's not enjoying the sex you should stop.. Not continue just so you can cum

  42. this! woman don't want a selfish lover in bed. His problem is not "death grip" but being selfish and too rough! Sex should never hurt !

  43. Title should read "TIFU by not understanding that sex is more than just slamming my dick into someone until I finish"

  44. Hey man, you've become dissociated with sex by instinct. The main things you need is to be comfortable, to be doing it for you first and foremost, and most of all you need passion. You have to truly get lost in the moment. Being alone for 6 years will make you lose your passion.

  45. ? But you can still make her have fun, even if you cant cum? Why was she so sore? Just stop after she came if you can't and try until you can.

  46. Bro.... just take you cumming from normal sex off the table for a bit. She fucking has hands too. You don't have to traumatize her lady bits every time you have sex lol

  47. I’ve had similar situations when banging other dudes. So I decided to just focus on their pleasure and fucking their brains out and making them cum. At first I did this a few times and left without cumming, having blue balls too BUT they enjoyed the bangings and I made one dude cum multiple times while I fucked him.

  48. Are you watching porn when you masturbate? If so, it could be ruining the pathways in your brain. Quitting porn will help.

  49. Healing from death grip caused loss of sensitivity will take more than 3 weeks, unfortunately for you. You'll have to overcome something that you programmed into your brain for 6 years, so expect at least several month of rewiering your brain. What usually works is, obviously, less fapping, but not only that. You'll have to replace the sensation of your tight fist with the sensation of a real vagina. Which will take a whole lot of repeating. For one, don't do anything sexual for a while. Let your natural sexual tension to grow. Then try having sex. Even if you don't ejaculate, relax end enjoy the moment with your partener(which is actually the most important part of sex). If your partener is understanding enough and willing to put up with that then you're lucky. But as long as she feels good with you and she's not toxic there is no reason to not help you too. Thing is... even if it sucks, resist the urge to masrurbate if a vagina can't do it. If you use condoms go for the thinnes ones for increased sensation. If your partener won't put up with it and you have to deal with it alone, you can do that too, by masturbating. But you'll have to change how to do it. Forget the death grip and only use a light grip, maybe only using a few fingers, to get yourself used to something looser(also use lube or something to simulate some wetness). A fleshlight or something similar may help instead of your hand. Good luck! Hope you will overcome it asap

  50. Bru, it doesn't matter to her if you cum what matters is that you both enjoy it, you don't have to ejaculate to enjoy intercourse and afterwards you could have just handled with an assisted wank or BJ. Everyone happy.

  51. Oh yeah let me machine gun jack hammer my death grip blood shot half chub the first thing I do in the morning

  52. Though it is contributing, I don’t think this is solely death grip. It sounds like you need lube, experience, and a little creative thinking outside the box.

  53. Yeah umm.. the 2 are unrelated. As a boy it is normal to take longer and longer to finish as we get older. I was a minute man at 16 have had nothing but steady relationships, and am married now and it takes awhile.

  54. Bro you know there's more to sex than just PIV right? If you'd have used other means to get her off instead of just railing her for hours, she probably wouldn't have broken things off. Most women don't orgasm fro PIV alone, just in case you weren't aware. Use more than just your dick next time.

  55. Maybe you should stop fucking like a dog and try some other things? There are so many ways to enjoy sex.

  56. I'm convinced death grip is a myth and hides the real issue. You just spent 6 years forgetting how to have sex, you need to relearn how to cum in a vagina. You were probably wearing a condom, which makes it worse. And was there any foreplay before you went to work, or did you just slap a raincoat on your erection and jam it in her? Meanwhile, you've spent those 6 years becoming an absolute expert at getting yourself off, so of course that works.

  57. Pounding away forever in hopes of achieving orgasm was not the right answer to the problem. You should have played around more with several positions because I can guarantee, from experience, that finding the right one will make you cum.

  58. I don't have this issue from masturbating, I just last a long time because I enjoy sex. You should start to see this as a super power; my partners do. Here's how:

  59. Bro the problem isn’t you masturbating for 6 years, it’s how you were having sex. Either there was a communication issue, where she wouldn’t tell you she was feeling sore and wanted to stop, or you just ignored that. Either way, it’s the fact that you kept going to the point she was uncomfortable the next day that pushed her away, not you lasting for too long. Sometimes you just gotta pull out and finish yourself off

  60. Poor girl. You probably made her way more uncomfortable than she let on. If she doesn’t want to see you anymore due to discomfort, you were hurting her. I hope in the future you can be a little more sensible in you relations. Women don’t really enjoy some just pounding away for ages. Use your fingers, your tongue, ask her what she wants. You overcoming your death grip shouldn’t be at the cost of injuring your date. It’s selfish and gross. Hope you fix your dick.

  61. I've been jerking off for 20 fucking years and I still cum easily enough with my partner. I don't understand what y'all be doin to your dicks that fucks it up

  62. I know this isn't relationship advice, but if you saw her as girlfriend material, you could have focused on making it enjoyable for her instead of just trying to cum and jackhammering.

  63. I don’t think she’s breaking it off because you can’t have an orgasm. She’s probably breaking it off because all you care about during sex is getting your rocks off, and you aren’t sharing or caring. Try taking the onus of the orgasm off of yourself and putting it on your partner instead.

  64. You've reached a conclusion without any medical or scientific data to back it up. Millions if not billions of people masturbate and have sex just fine.

  65. I mean.... Why don't u eat her out while u jerk urself off? She gets pleasure, and so do u... Penetration doesn't have to be the climax

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