TIFU by buying my wife a bra

  1. Agreed! It means not only was he listening, but he cared enough to see something and go "Oh, I bet this would help solve that issue!" and then did it with the intention of helping! It's super sweet and even if it was a miss, that's still a great thing for a husband to do. Way to disincentivize thoughtful gifts in the future.

  2. My husband got me an electric toothbrush and extra replacement heads for my birthday a few years ago. I’d been using a normal toothbrush my whole life and would sometimes make covetous comments about his electric toothbrush.

  3. Yup, someone got a gift like that for me (I'm a dude, so no boob sweat, but you could fill a swimming pool with my nutsweat) I'd be over the moon.

  4. Agreed, as a bigger breasted woman I would so appreciate my husband listening, thinking of me, researching and spending his hard earned cash on a thought through gift <3

  5. Right? This is what I was thinking the whole time! He listened to her problem, he saw a solution, and tried to fix it! I think OP did a great thing :)

  6. I thought so too! I would’ve been pretty stoked. My boyfriend has bought me shoes and stuff online and I think it’s a grand gesture to show that they’re thinking about you even when you’re not around and want to help and care for you! Means they are listening and care.

  7. Yeah and it’s not like (I assume) a birthday gift or something. I could see perhaps being upset about that. But otherwise he was trying to help

  8. This! And even better, do some ridiculous info-mercial type spiel and do something like dump water down your front or mist yourself or something. Make it humorous to the point she can’t help but laugh, then apologize and tell her you were really trying to help. And maybe offer to take her to Victoria’s Secret or something and get her a new pair or two of lingerie to really stick the home run.

  9. If my husband did this and said "the advert said it would be your new breast friend" I would DIE laughing and give it a try! I know that everything my husband does for me is out of love and not malice so just give your new titty buddy a try!

  10. As part of the ridiculously large titty committee that lives somewhere unnecessarily hot, I would have been thrilled.

  11. One of his posts from 3 months ago was about where he referred to his wife as fat (with “extenuating circumstances”) in front of their children. Turns out she has a problematic relationship with food.

  12. Right?! Personally think OP should pull a reverse uno and get disappointed that she didn't appreciate his gift and take himself out for ice cream. Clearly a bra that plain wasn't meant as a sexy gift for her that's really for him. A sweat proof bra in these sweaty times does indeed sound like a great breast friend.

  13. My cousin got his wife a cement mixer for mothers day decades ago because she kept saying that she wanted a new back patio... You can imagine how that went over. She did get the patio though.

  14. Legend has it that my grandfather got my grandmother a footbath for Christmas (he saw a big display of them for sale at a store entrance, and was like welp my shopping is done). She was piiiissed.

  15. My ex husband bought me a cupcake carrier for my birthday one year - like the kind you’d send with your kid to kindergarten for their birthday or something, amidst fertility problems this felt like a kick in the shins, also I already owned a cupcake carrier and regularly took treats to work.

  16. Me too. I fully respect her personal reaction & feelings but for me? I’m gonna ask for one of these summbiches

  17. Seriously like more power to everyone else but if it's not comfortable and I don't HAVE to wear it, it's got to be a damn good occasion to wear something uncomfortable like lingerie. I've tried. I hate it. The bras are itchy, the underwear chafe and don't cover shit, most of the cute stuff is specific to women with no ass, and it's always double the price of something that actually will be used more than a few times before it gets destroyed because its so flimsy.

  18. Yeah! IMO, a sexy bra or lingerie is just a gift for HIM/or gift for both/asking for sex. This kind of bra shows he was listening and is 100% a gift just for her!

  19. I can’t believe she did not just die laughing when you said “new breast friend”. This is so sweet of you and so damn funny. I hope once she calms down she appreciates the gesture and the hilarity of the situation.

  20. My dude. You are absolutely hilarious, that’s a ridiculously thoughtful thing, I wish my husband put that effort in 😂 and my husband is amazing! Buy her flowers and tell her that you just wanted to help.

  21. So he does a nice thing, she's shitty about it, and the solution is for him to buy her flowers...for being shitty? It's a weird world we live in

  22. Oh dude. I am so sorry. I know what it’s like to really want to help a situation. You feel like you can but once you’ve done what you’ve done it’s either made things worse or has broken things majorly.

  23. Yeah it took me a few years of marriage to realise I need to stop digging in these situations and just keep my big mouth shut. My instinct to make some passive-aggressive retort is not a good one!

  24. I would love it if my fiance bought me a new bra that would solve all my boob problems. What's the issue??

  25. A LOT of women are really weird/stupid about all of this stuff. Routinely my wife complains about all her undergarments. Routinely I remind her to just go buy whatever the fuck she wants (because the twice I attempted to buy stuff it was all wrong, fair enough). She has to wait until she literally runs out of clean undies and all her bras snap before she gets new ones. It's wild and I don't understand any of it.

  26. If it helps, as a fellow big-boobed mama with sweaty tits (thanks perimenopause!) I would be SO THRILLED if my hubby bought me a giant sweat-proof bra. Because I happen to know he means well and that means that he listens to me when things are important. I would treasure my new breast friend and high five you.

  27. Oh my god. I think that might be the issue. She reacted so out of character, and I bet that is why. I think maybe she is worried about the perimenopause. Cos she has been complaining about the kids getting older and how we “should have made more of them being babies”. She also (separately) has been complaining about how sweaty and hot she is all the time. I wonder if she is worried about the perimenopause. I’m not so stupid that I would outright ask her, but it makes sense. Thank you!

  28. Hey op, I need a link for my wife’s sweaty tits. Seriously, she needs a new breast friend and I will show her this thread after presenting her new chesticle carrier

  29. Personally, I don't see a big FU here. You listened to her vent about something she is insecure/worried about. Then you had a product dropped in your lap that advertised everything she needs for her peace of mind. It's unfortunate that she took it the wrong way, but from your post it sounded like she was very worried about this specific problem. You bought a gift for her that is supposed to fix this specific problem.

  30. If she got mad at you for an unsolicited gift, I don't know if the answer is to buy a 2nd unsolicited gift. I like your new instinct to do nothing. Us guys seem to be good at that

  31. I mean, one of them is a medical doctor, so fair enough. But the other 3? They have no excuse! I do actually keep forgetting that just cos I’m on holiday right now, doesn’t mean that other people aren’t at work. Daytime phone calls are not appreciated!

  32. Yeah, she is always moaning about all the thick straps and shops only having ugly bras for bigger breasted people. She found a range she really liked on Figleaves (I think) and I got her that in various colours over the years. But they’ve stopped making it 😭 So I’m back to being clueless, lol.

  33. No, we have a really healthy sex life. I would say it is about 50/50 in terms of who initiates, cos we are quite evenly matched in terms of libido, and we both hate the “the man always initiates” mindset.

  34. I would find this soooooo sweet. Like wow, you really listened to me and tried to help. Whether she would actually wear the bra or not, I think the thought really does count here. Also innocent enough.. it can be donated or returned. It's not like you stirred up drama in her friend group or something that's an actual mess to fix.

  35. Crotchless pants as a last save effort had me rolling. You did everything you could. Damn sisters.

  36. DO NOT MENTION PERIMENOPAUSE PREMENOPAUSE OR MENOPAUSE !! DELETE THAT WORD FROM YOU VOCABULARY and DELETE FROM THIS POST !!

  37. Spoken like someone who learned this the hard way..! Did they ever manage to reattach your left testicle, after you made the mistake of mentioning the M Word to your wife? 😂

  38. Honestly I just feel bad for you. You listened to your wife and tried to do a nice thing for her, and she had a meltdown over it. I’m sorry man!

  39. 10/10 would not have been offended if I had been talking about my sweaty boobs all day. Hell, I'm here sitting with two cold deodorant cans against mine because we've got a heatwave here and my boobs are sweaty.

  40. To be fair, three of them work full time at busy jobs (social worker, doctor, accountant). The other one keeps livestock and also runs a small animal charity. So they are all v busy! But they should know that when it comes to me, it’s ALWAYS an emergency!!

  41. Maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of the weird cultural normalization of the idea of women turning small things or nothings into a big deal. Like this whole idea that women border on crazy and that men need to keep their women dictionaries at hand to make sure they Get It Right.

  42. Oh yeah no we HATE the cliche of the world-weary, perpetually right wife and the clueless, immature, just another kid for her to deal with husband too. We always make jokes about it, cos it is so stupid. And we are not normally like that at all. That’s why her reaction was just so bizarre and out of character. I have never known her to get so upset by something so trivial, so I must have really hit a nerve. Normally she would find it hilarious and / or useful.

  43. Wow... if my girlfriend had made this complaint, and the stars aligned like this, there would be so much gratitude and the same if the rolls were reversed. You literally found something to solve an issue for her. Even if it isn't sexy, it has purpose.

  44. Honestly, if all this is on the level and you are not leaving things out, it sounds like your wife has some substantial self-confidence issues that she needs to acknowledge and work through. She is seeing SO much non-existent subtext in your gift because she is already believing what they non-existent subtext is saying. There is nothing wrong with your gift. Perhaps you need to make some extra effort to reaffirm her, but she clearly is having a hard time seeing past her current insecurities.

  45. Am I missing something here? How is this anything other than you being a loving husband listening to her problems and trying to help? Why are you not allowed to help? Why are you so very clearly walking on eggshells. This doesn't sound healthy.

  46. You didn't do anything wrong. You have a very sensitive wife and maybe are triggering her in some way. Getting to the root of why this kind gesture bothered her so much is abroute I would recommend taking. She may learn something she didn't know about herself.

  47. I don't really understand her anger at you buying a bra for her if she complains about boob sweat. Like it's a nice gift, especially if it fits well. Idk it might just be my relationship but we'd both be happy getting a present like this.

  48. I'd be so touched. Yeah sometimes we just want to vent. But getting a gift that is an attempt to solve the issue (that isn't a sensitive emotional issue as far as I can tell) would really show that they were listening to me and cared about me to remember my problem and want to try to solve it. If I didn't like the bra that doesn't take away from the gesture.

  49. I'm a martial artist & occupational cleaner and therefore have a pretty active lifestyle, so especially in summer, I get serious tit sweat. I'm 23 years old so it's not as though there's anything about me that's aging. it's just the reality of breasts. I usually just put a cloth inside the bottom of the bra cups. works a treat. I'm not the sort of person who will suffer and do nothing about it. I think your gift was a really sweet gesture. seeing that your partner is obviously uncomfortable, listening and then actually working to help them with that is more than a lot of people do. I hope it blows over and you guys can work it out quickly. best wishes

  50. Honestly I think this is one of the cutest, sweetest and most well intentioned fuck ups ever. I think it was a nice gesture and I'm glad you can both laugh about it now. Yours sounds like a lovely relationship.

  51. Dude, you're a keeper, even if your delivery was somewhat lacking. Thanks for the laugh and I hope your lady ends up loving the sweat-proof granny bra.

  52. This made me laugh hard. I love how you wrote it, hilarious. Glad she came around and knew you meant well. It could have been bad timing. She may have been feeling a little less than gorgeous and you just so happen to hand her this right then and there.

  53. You are amazing thinking of your wife like that. I would hug and kiss my husband for days for buying me something I have been complaining about!!!! If I didn't, he wouldn't buy me anything again. Your are a wonderful thoughtful man!!

  54. Not really related to post except it's about bra's. For a little while I worked for a textile company that along with other things made sports bra's. The guy who was head of production was a real asshole but being a work colleague you still have to work with them and also on occasion go out socially. So I'm out with a group from work and this guy being his usual single guy in his mid to late 30''s arsehole thinking he's got a chance with the groups of single young ladies having a night out. He's telling them that he works in the fashion industry and is one of the country's top bra designers, this group of girls are kinda playing along ( it's in a pub on a busy Saturday night) when he says he can tell them exactly what size there bra is and then lunges forward and gropes this girls tits. I'm like wtf but in a instant he's facefirst into the table with another of the girls grabbing a handful of his curly hair slamming him facefirst into the table, busted his nose. He turned at work the following Monday with two proper black eyes too 😂😂😂😂🙂

  55. You're good my guy, that's a lovely purchase because you were listening-- and that means everything. Sounds like she's coming around, you got this.

  56. If I couldn't have a completely open discourse with my wife and be able to speak freely with her, and obviously her with I, I would never have married her. And if ever she gets like this, where I but a thoughtful gift and she takes offense instead and won't have a discussion about it or see reason. I'd likely consider divorce, as we would be incompatible.

  57. Bro, I can't even. I'm sorry your wife is upset you thought of her. Maybe explain she's not just a sex object to you and you wanted her to be comfortable. Man I wish my husband listened and thought of me.

  58. Holy mother of projection, Batman. Your wife is greatly overreacting, if she’s so insecure that a very thoughtful gift like this makes her react this way she should get some therapy. You weren’t trying to solve her problem in a condescending way, you listened, paid attention, and went out of your way to get her something to improve her quality of life. Honestly dude she owes you an apology, what an unfair reaction, this was a legitimately sweet and considerate thing to do for her.

  59. If I were you I would just hope whoever plays me in the dramatic reenactment on forensic files is handsome.

  60. If the bra will be kept and you think her sense of humor will return, you might write "see thru lace" on the cups. Or, if you are artistic, you might pretty/sexy it up by drawing flowers/lace/whatever. Or maybe some sort of Let's Make a Deal theme.

  61. I love this idea! I am very artistic and she is always encouraging me to draw again (I haven’t for ages, cos for some bizarre reason it makes me weirdly emotional). That would actually be really cool, to decorate it. I think I have fabric pens somewhere. I think her sense of humour will definitely return, her reaction was so unlike her. Thanks for the idea!

  62. If I had never mentioned my being self-conscious of my boob sweat and he bought this for me, I’d be a little taken aback. However, if he only knew of the concern bc I had mentioned it countless times, that’s a different story. If my husband, genuinely confused at my reaction, said “but the advert said it would be your new breast friend” I think I would melt or die laughing, which ever came first. I find this incredibly sweet, and knowing my husband is big on acts of service, would know that he meant well.

  63. How dare you try to show off in front of the rest of us men? What if you were successful?! Did you ever think about us? You’d get us all in the doghouse for our uncaringness in comparison to you. You deserve to be in the doghouse.

  64. Take one of her old t-shirts and crop it just below the shoulders and give it to her as a “cooldown top” after the kids are in bed

  65. Probably not the smartest move buying her a bra specifically designed to help with sweat wicking. But also not a move that would incur marital wrath either.

  66. Get some matching granny panties. Then a gray wig. Then a cane. And some dentures. Introduce some role play. If you weren’t able to get it up, you’re doing it right

  67. Don’t have any advice but just wanted to say the way you speak about your wife is just lovely, you sound like a very kind, attentive, loving husband 😊

  68. After my first 3 years of living abroad and getting exactly zero birthday or Christmas gifts, I really hate seeing people complain about a thoughtful gift. Not only did someone want to get you a gift but they put some real thought into and you have the nerve to complain?

  69. LPT: when you see something like that and genuinely want to see if you can improve your wife's (or husband's) life, just hold the phone up to your spouse and repeat these words -

  70. This reminds me of the time I sent my partner to the store for pads and he came back with the 1st cousin to an adult diaper.

  71. I got my wife a gym membership once for Valentine’s Day. I did it because she loves doing yoga and they had great reviews for classes. Big mistake.

  72. Tell her as the mayor of Tiddy City, you were just looking out for your constituents. Dont make eye contact, just say it as a matter of fact and move on. This can be done with or without a top hat on but preferably with it on.

  73. My only question is does it work? I’d love one. I do get where she’s coming from as an over thinker. Whenever my husband does something similar I question his motive. Just low self esteem on my end. But I think what you did was sweet.

  74. This is a good story. You tried. She did bring ice cream. You sound like a nice husband. I hope you have lots of laughs later on. I’m laughing so you did that for me today. Thank you.

  75. My husband and I both had a good-hearted laugh when reading your story. We're both practical gift givers, and thought it all made sense. (I will say that I would've given my husband a bit of a hard time, at first, jokingly, if he bought me a bra.) I complain all the time about under boob sweat! However, I also complain about wearing bras, too, even though I'm well endowed. I hate bras. I've taken to wearing tankini tops, now. Boobs are held in place well enough for every day activity, and under boob sweat isn't noticed and dries quickly because of the fabric type. You can find some stylish tops, too. Just my boob life hack.

  76. It was kind but yeah the delivery was off. GREAT INTENTIONS and honestly that bra is prob going to be so comfy. Beige though? The least sexy color! Black is a better choice, always. You’re a good dude, glad you got ice cream and sex.

  77. I came across a fun bit of knowledge about the difference between men and women when it comes to listening to their partners problems.

  78. Read the edits but what i was gonna say is let her cool off. She'll be fine. Sometimes people get mad and just need time to rearrange their thoughts.

  79. This story is kind of weird. And with all the edits. Especially the one about how they were banging a long time. I don't know it, just reads like some Reddit male "me with le sexy wife for sexy times" weirdness.

  80. I don't think there was anything wrong with what you did. It was a considerate gift. Also tell her to try Lume. They make a natural full body anti-perspirant she can use to stop the sweat.

  81. Dude! This was so funny and well written, you missed your life's calling, you should be a comedy writer!! Just too funny.

  82. That's not your FU, that's hers. Making you feel bad because she has no self-worth when you are trying to help is damn near abusive. Don't let her make you feel bad, though. Just love her harder until she can see how awesome you think she is.

  83. It sounds like your wife is insecure, this was a really nice a sweet gift I would be happy if I had a husband who thought of a solution to my problem

  84. Not a fuck up. Your wife is being shitty. Don’t accept you have done wrong or apologize. She voiced an issue you tried to help. The person with an issue with her body is her, not you.

  85. Wow if my husband did that for me he would have a gotten the biggest hug. Mind you he buys me bras all the time if he happens to see what I like in my size at a decent price. Sorry she reacted so poorly.

  86. I’m reading this thinking, “my wife would love it if I bought her this”. Read her the post and sure enough she says “you can buy me a bra like that any time you like.”

  87. Right?! I went to OPs profile and read some of his posts. If OP were to write a book I would read it. His writing seems to make a person dive into his life, into the story. And that's amazing

  88. I get that women often want men to listen and not try to solve every problem, but I refuse to believe that the correct response is to keep quiet and never offer any solutions or suggestions about any issue in their life. The bra wasn't a solution you invented. It's simply a new product you saw and were curious about.

  89. Haha! How am I just seeing this?! It’s perfect. When she is not quite so offended, I will show it to her, cos she would also find it hilarious.

  90. You've got a husband that actually listens to your problems and instead of thanking you, you think he's giving it to you as a way of subtly telling you something? WTF. No offense, OP, but I'd saw my leg off to get out of the bear trap if she was my wife.

  91. You have to help her out of her insecurity, you know what you have to do. During the next sexy time, you’d better lick up her tit sweat and tell her you love it

  92. Don’t just assume she is looking for breast friendship, it has to happen naturally. Learn from my sacrifice, I beg of you.

  93. I scrolled a ton of comments to find this one, and just ordered my sweaty sagbags one from the US site.

  94. You should out the bra on, and those pant things you get emails about, and show her just how sexy they can be. That it isn't who's wearing it, or what the garments are, but what's underneath that's sexy

  95. Dude you didn’t fuck up at all, I would LOVE for my man to pay attention to what I say and take note like that. Simply amazing and I’m sorry she took offense, but you really did nothing wrong.

  96. Only thing worse than being the wrong guy equalizing/objectifying them.... is to be the guy they DO want sexualizing/objectifying them, and instead of getting them lingerie you get them adult diapers or a sweat bra

  97. Ok, two things here: the first is I feel bad for you and think it was a thoughtful gift. I see where you came from…I see a bit of her side, but I feel for you. The second is that you wrote this so well and I laughed so hard reading it.

  98. My wife would just say, "Thanks for the gift!" and then it would sit in the closet, unused, for a year or two.

  99. Just talk to her and say that you kept hearing her say she felt she was ruining her bras and that you only wanted to help. Let her know how you feel about her, and that you still find her attractive. Admit that you didn't think it was gonna hurt her feelings and that it wasn't your intention. Don't let this put a wedge between you both. Furthermore, just ask her if she'd like something before getting it for her and show her.

  100. My husband now asks me “do you need me to just listen so you can vent or do you need solutions?” When I start a rant on something. It seems to work. I would think it was sweet if my husband got that for me though. Good luck.

  101. Don't be discouraged!! I think you did a sweet thing that she's taking extremely personal rather than seeing it as a help from you. Give her space and time and hopefully she comes.round to it!

  102. I've had to learn this lesson. It's not about the bra. It's about listening. She doesn't want you to fix it, she wants to TALK to you about it. As men, it is our instinct to fix it. That is not what she needs.

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