TIFU by thinking my son was having gay sex when he was just eating Hummus

  1. Next time OP's son is over, OP is gonna hear the same noises and nonchalantly burst into the room going "ooh hummus? Can I have so-" and be met with some pegging.

  2. Literally, this misunderstanding is the inciting incident to the Kath & Kim episode where Kath thinks Kim is a lesbian - just swap hummus for dippity bix! 😂

  3. this whole post is a cringey creative writing class assignment and the fact that it has awards surprised me.

  4. His friend planned a bro date to try out hummus... how come I never had friends like that growing up? :(

  5. My guy swoopin in with the pun of the century! I don't know how to give gold on mobile, in the meantime, accept this symbol until I get home 🏅

  6. It's really strange to hear people talk about this banal dip/dish (though excellent!) as some kind of new, strange, and exotic thing.

  7. I just read this to my friend who is gay and he just said "oh honey, if they are having a hummus date, he is still probably gay". Thanks for the cute fuck up op!

  8. At the very least that friend is gay and definitely interested. Am gay myself and that's definitely a come up

  9. You know what’s funny too? If she hadn’t said gay sex we wouldn’t have known the gender of the friend…. but….

  10. I’m sorry but how are so many people buying this? This reads like a 12 year old’s writing assignment

  11. I can completely understand your error. Eating hummous can be just like that. Sprinkle a little paprika on top and get bussy with some carrot and just wow.

  12. Low effort comedy writing. If I was a writer for a sitcom I would use this sub for my material. And probably get shut down after at most a season and revert to drinking and kill myself later on.

  13. This is why it's so important to have the talk with your kids before they are exposed to hummus by their friends, ensuring they can learn about chickpeas, yogurt, mint, and olive oil in a safe and caring environment.

  14. These two are often mixed up. Embarrassingly, I’ve gotten them confused too. Thought I was grabbing a nice lower calorie snack - ended up getting fucked in my ass.

  15. Yes but the kind that's sold in grocery stores is only like OK. Homemade hummus, if it's prepared just right, is divine. Some restaurants also make good hummus, but most restaurants outside the Middle-East don't make it very well. Even in the Middle-East, though there are many restaurants that specialize in hummus, not all of them make excellent hummus.

  16. Damn the friend came back for the hummus he forgot and now thinks you have sex with your son and is really weirded out.

  17. Ha! I see you fell for the old hummus trick. That’s the oldest trick in the gay handbook. I can’t believe you fell for it.

  18. This reminds me of when I was 15 and had my boyfriend over in my bedroom watching a movie. He had poked himself in the eye earlier in the day and it was bothering him and he kept rubbing it making it worse. I kept telling him to ‘stop touching it’ ‘stop it’ and to ‘leave it alone’. My parents burst in the door as they though he was sexually assaulting me.

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