to propose

  1. I hope not but people get so complacent with familiarity. She might talk herself into getting back with him in a month cause he's what she's used to. I hope I'm wrong though.

  2. Also, just a thought, looks like he bought it from a pawn shop, since it already has the wedding bands soldered to the engagement ring, and no box, makes me think someone pawned it and he picked it up for a deal. I mean part of the proposal is having a box to open as the “bigger” reveal in the process. Most engagement rings don’t have the wedding band/s already soldered. Unless that’s the engagement ring itself, then attaching a wedding band to that already huge ring is gonna look sillier. It’s cool saving money, but this guy just didn’t think much of anything through.

  3. Right? Doesn't he think she might want to look at him while he does it, look at the ring, kiss him and say yes? Did he not expect any excitement from her? You know he'll tell all his friends she was ungrateful and women just want money, and she'll tell her friends he proposed while she was driving and they will rally about what a fucking idiot he was.

  4. Don't forget, also while recording because you know she's going to react a certain way that validates your own agenda and narrative.

  5. Proposal stories are things you share for a lifetime. No one wants to say “he proposed in the car while I was driving” for the rest of their life.

  6. I’d be so pissed if I was that girl. Even if she did want to marry him that would kill the whole vibe. I wouldn’t even want to get married at that point.

  7. proposes after 10yrs, in the passenger seat of the car, and when she says no, whips his phone out to record with the flash on bro tf were you expecting

  8. And then tries to hide his face when she turns the phone back on him. At least he has the decency to be embarrassed. That's the only positive thing I can think to say about him.

  9. Scrubs always sit in the passenger side. Sometimes even in their best friends ride. She don't want no scrub, and he's a man who can't get no love from her.

  10. Not every proposal needs to be some insane event that stops everything around them, but c'mon man. You can't just pass her a ring like it's an aux cable and wonder why she's upset you didn't try.

  11. Indeed. And that zero thought just set her off. They could have drove to a nice scenic spot and he could have asked her then. There are a ton of ways to make it a special moment.

  12. And honestly, even if he doesn't get it, he could take into account what she's telling him now, something like: "ok, fine, let me rethink how to do this properly and I will try to surprise you in the near future and do you right ".

  13. Seriously, so many ways to make it thoughtful without the whole public shit. But the way he did it just seems like she's an afterthought. I get the frustration, I don't even give a shit about having a big proposal but I'd say no to this too.

  14. After 10 years he should know that too. A college friend proposed using a sea shell she gave to him on their first date (got a ring later) and I have another friend who accidently set her boyfriend's kitchen on fire, no real major damage but as she's crying he asked her to marry him because he said something like if he can love her through this he can love her forever I dunno she fucking ate it up lol

  15. He trapped her in the car to force a yes. Deserves to be left if he thinks so low of a serious commitment and of their relationship to ask someone to get married while she's driving like he's asking what she wants for dinner. Not to mention trying to take back gifts (wigs) and trying to snatch the one she's wearing. Guy has no class.

  16. A dude insisting on filming and posting a very intimate and personal argument “to show the world how unappreciative my girl is” is not a keeper

  17. She held it together remarkably well imo. He comes across as an insufferable asshole. Part of him knows too, that’s why he’s covering his face

  18. And then as she was packing to leave he told her she better get her stuff and get out, as if he was the one making decisions at that point. He just had to have to final say so he could tell people he kicked her out for being ungrateful while trashing her on the internet. Can't imagine why she's fed up

  19. And the fact that he doesn’t think he’s wrong. He forced 10 years of narc abuse on her (Id put money on this), and that’s probably why it took her 10 years to realize he’s a manipulative POS who has an excuse for everything. I bet she mentally had her bags packed for a long time and was just waiting for a moment just like this one. Kudos to her. It’s never too late to go.

  20. exactly. same with having kids/ a kid. that shit DOES NOT fix your issues, it only brings a poor soul into a split family. that child will be dragged through hell and constantly feel like it’s their fault. making these huge decisions should only happen after a lot of time and thought and research. not just to get power over your significant other because ‘oh i’m proposing now so she HAS to say yes’ or ‘we have a kid now so you’re FORCED to stay’ etc.

  21. So true. I had to listen to protests over the phone about his having an invisible ring that he was planning on giving to me, but I ruined everything by breaking up with him over his wretched behavior.

  22. I was so ready for this comments section to utterly tear the woman to pieces. I'm pleasantly surprised the heavy majority of the top rated comments are having such mature takes like this. Reddit's alright sometimes.

  23. I bought a ring and a 7 night stay in the Maldives, I payed for a drone show to propose with after a private beach dinner but then I got dumped before I even told her about the trip.

  24. Yep. He had an agenda, and when it didn't go the way he expected he escalated and attacked while crying victim. Abuser.

  25. The term you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence" and it often happens in relationships, usually with men and domestic inequality.

  26. This comment is going to come to mind every time I hear that phrase in an argument now, I can guarantee it. I look forward to the perspective it is sure to give me

  27. I feel like this comment has lifted a blindfold from my eyes! So true. I hope I remember this nugget when I’m frustrated with someone “not understanding”.

  28. Not every proposal needs to have a flash mob, or rain flower petals, or even have some crazy location……but geez man. At least wait till you’re both out of the car and you can ask her properly.

  29. I’m laughing because that’s literally how my dad proposed to my mom- tossed her a pair of balled up socks with the ring inside. They’re divorced now

  30. What is he expecting her to do, break out into tears and smiles? While driving?? She has every right to be unimpressed and pissed at him, the vibe I get is him throwing a bandaid over whatever bullet holes need repairing.

  31. I struggle to see anyone who works in a jewelery store every day picking out such an ugly ring for themselves. I can see one looking at this fool and selling the most overpriced tat they can in order to get a big commission. I don't normally judge peoples choice in jewellery as tastes vary widely, but come on, that looks like a load of plastic glass 'jewels' stuck on silver coloured plastic. At least shell out for some cubic zirconia on silver. Especially after 10 years.....

  32. I think he was more shitty : he waited for her to be in the car, driving, so she’s can’t really escape the recording and the proposal. It’s an intentional trap. That says a lot about the dude.

  33. My proposal involved me, my wife, and our dog (well, he was present at least) a cabin, and legos. Given our relationship, a grand gesture would be the opposite of what either of us would want.

  34. My ex proposed by stopping a car in an intersection at night while an Eminem's Square Dance played on the radio. He had no ring. I think he hadn't even planned to do do it until that day. We were out of state and he was a really angry guy so I said yes because I thought he would leave me stranded in the dark in Indiana. We had nearly broken up a month prior and I attribute his proposal 100% to attempt to trap me forever.

  35. The fact he just whipped it out in the car shows it's probably just him being like "look see I did it now stop asking".

  36. He mentioned she brought up getting married and she clarified she did that 5 years ago. It kinda reads like she gave up that conversation a long time ago and that this dude went out and bought that ring to use as a get out of jail free card.

  37. Usually when people overreact to a situation that means there’s are a whole bunch of unresolved issues that’ve been swept under the rug. I don’t know who’s right or wrong but not getting married is the right decision for now.

  38. Oh, 100%. This sounds like the exasperated voice of somebody who’s sick and tired of being treated like an afterthought. The proposal was just the catalyst that pushed her over the edge

  39. 100% the dude is in the wrong you've had 10 years to think about it and you propose in the passenger's seat that's kinda fucked up. And then he's mad like he expected something different.

  40. I mean whatever the context the dude was all about exploding his gf for being “ungrateful,” that’s an awful thing to do to someone you allegedly love

  41. I don't see it as an overreaction. He asked, she wasn't into it and said no and then he escalated by recording and harassing her.

  42. Over react? The guy is a complete asshole. He covers his face when the camera is turned on him but doesn't stop recording even when the lady repeatedly told him to stop.

  43. This dude sucks. He comes across as very selfish in the video. Sorry it took her so long to realize. Better to walk away now than stay the course and find out how bad it really gets…intertwined finances, kids, court, medical issues

  44. He’s so selfish I wouldn’t even be surprised if that ring is cubic zirconia. No thought in the proposal, no thought in the purchase.

  45. If you can’t show the person you love a single shred of effort, love, or respect after 10 fucking years together, then you shouldn’t marry them. Not to mention that doing this while someone is driving is really dangerous and stupid. It’s really not that hard to show someone you care about them and this is just not it.

  46. Literally could have made dinner at home and lit a candle and it would have been 100x more thoughtful than this.

  47. fr she is so calm. If someone was recording me like that after I asked repeatedly to stop I would have been way more worked up than she is. And he just keeps escalating to get a rise out of her. She's a saint and she deserves better.

  48. This lazy entitled idiot just hands her a ring after ten years and expects her to be thrilled, and then has the AUDACITY to call her ungrateful?

  49. After 10 years, you should already now what the answer if you propose. It should be just a procedure. But cmon, it shouldnt look like one. Proposing in the car, while she is driving, is being hella insensitive about the importance of the relationship.

  50. He keeps saying she’s ungrateful as though he did anything to be grateful for. He bought a ring, which is literally the least he could do. But with five years to plan it, he should’ve put some thought into the proposal. It truly is the thought that counts, he showed none and then expected her to be grateful that he was willing to marry her.

  51. Dude wasted her entire decade 😂 you can hear it in his voice, he just bought that to fix a previous argument. That's not love, that's settling.

  52. He said he bought it 5 years ago! He’s been holding it over her head for half that decade, trying to make her dance like his little puppet until she was done.

  53. “It’s not that serious.” Um sir you are proposing, I believe it is. Hell I’d be pissed too. No I don’t need a marching band or some over the top crap period but I would want someone to put some thought into it.

  54. IDC if you buy me a 5$ ring from Walmart, the only thing that matters is the thought behind the proposal. Fuck this guy

  55. I would be pissed too! If you love someone so much and wait for 10 years looking forward to the day they will finally marry you and then they just dump some half assed “proposal” in the damn car as you’re driving?? Hell naw

  56. I loved the part when they get home and she’s saying I’m going to leave and he says fine leave. She proceeds to immediately pull out the suitcase and he then says “ you really going to leave ? It’s not that serious “ lmao at that point he knew he fucked up

  57. It seemed like he was expecting it to go this way. This feels exactly like him trying to fix things with a ring, but didnt really expect it to work, and so is trying to frame the whole thing like she's the bad guy

  58. Some people with money try to fix everything with giant gifts and scream the person is ungrateful when it doesn't magically set things right. Someday he'll be doing the same thing with his kids.

  59. The way he acted because she wasn’t happy about how he did it says it all. Rather than understanding and retrying again with a better set up, he records her and calls her ungrateful.

  60. 💀 I’m so glad she said no. Full respect. There’s some women out there that would’ve been estatic over that

  61. I understand her frustration. It seemed poorly thought out and he seemed like he didn’t care. Yeah buddy, you got a ring, but for crying out loud make it romantic and memorable. She seems to want to see you put some effort into it.

  62. And if she's a super casual girl, not big for showy shit, this would have been better done watching a movie cuddled on the couch. Not while she's driving you somewhere.

  63. Yeah, his immediate reaction after a lame ass proposal was to put his girl on blast. Something about that doesn’t sit right with me.

  64. I also love how he spent the whole time she was packing going on about how he couldn't get the money back for the ring... Like dude, your girlfriend of a solid decade is packing her bags and all you care about is that you can't get a refund? I hope that cemented in her head that she was doing the right thing

  65. If he doesn't know her well enough to see this coming after ten whole years together, then I can't feel too bad for him.

  66. Yo, I asked my fiancé if he wanted to be engaged to me while we were at a bar waiting on some gnocchi. We were both wasted. There was no ring, there were no flowers, there was no plan. It was fucking perfect for us.

  67. Yea, people attribute different importance to these things. Me and my significant other married sometimes after our second child was like 2, and it was more of a practical consideration for us.

  68. I was pleasantly surprised by thee comments, I was expecting people to bash the girl simply because of first impressions but I’m happy people can see there was most likely a lot of stuff leading up to this and this is just what pushed her over the edge

  69. You can really hear it in her voice. Like the constant disappointment she’s had in him for 10 years. She wasn’t surprised at all. I think everyone can relate at least, where there’s that person that does the bare minimum because they know they socially have to

  70. The guy never even said the words "I want to marry you"....only "You said you wanted to get married". If this is the amount of effort he puts into a once in a lifetime event, I completely understand why she's packing up.

  71. I mean it's not even a lack of effort, he's just bought the ring and a half assed promise of marriage as another chip in the pot that he hopes would help make her second guess leaving him when he emotionally abuses her next time.

  72. Love how easy it was for him to show her face and literally ignore her multiple requests to stop filming, but when the phone is switched he’s hiding his face. And saying how she’s ungrateful, gaslighting loser

  73. this guy is such a fucking bully, such a harasser. if he’s this big sweet gentleman that actually wanted to be a good husband then he wouldn’t loose it when he hears an answer he doesn’t like. fucking annoying. it may seem petty but i’m glad the girl got out

  74. I just got engaged a few days ago on 11/17 to my fiancee Sam on a vacation with 20 of our friends. We've been together for 9.5 years. First she started nursing school just after I met her. She had that, work and clinicals. Then started to establish her career as a nurse and then covid comes in as well. We've lived together for 8.5 years and really this was a formality but something we were both excited to do but certainly took much longer than we anticipated.

  75. I kinda get where she is coming from. I am not the marrying type but after 10 years, you'd think there would be some more thought in to the proposal.

  76. Yeah! Poor gyal was driving too... Like even if she wanted to react with joy, she can't even because she's gotta worry about red lights and stop signs and hands at 10 and 2 during one of the biggest moments of ya life

  77. Obviously I’m speculating wildly here, but maybe not getting proposed to wasn’t a deal breaker. She asked for it to happen and it didn’t, I can understand not wanting to feel like you’re begging for it. I could also understand making my peace that we’d not take the step towards marriage and be fine with that, especially after 5 more years. But to be asked in a really impersonal way after making my peace like that would feel like an afterthought and like almost insulting. I think she definitely could have handled it better, but I don’t blame her for being upset. She waited ten years for that question and stopped expecting it five years ago. He didn’t even try.

  78. Why? Because people stay in mediocre relationship. A lot of people waste their lives in mediocre relationships because they are in a comfort zone.

  79. Even people who get married don’t necessarily do it with clarity. Sometimes ppl just slide into marriage because they’re under too much inertia to leave. And for this lady, it took the proposal for her to wake up

  80. even if he was gonna just do it in the car cuz of situations, he could’ve made it cute. could’ve DROVE HER to a nice spot to see the stars and put blankets and fairy lights in the back and then pulled out the ring while they were back there cuddled up in a nice spot. smh. it doesn’t take much to touch up something so simple and make it something special. intimacy is key yall. my ex had the same low effort low priority mentality and that’s why he’s an ex. didn’t bother until it was too late and i was already losing touch with him, if i could i would’ve whipped out my suitcase just like shorty😂

  81. Yeah, her not even pausing to find a suitcase was actually amazing. He dared her to do it, then got mad when she actually did. I hope she leaves safely and never goes back to that loser.

  82. Let's not forget that from her POV she's seeing him holding the ring with a hand toward her while she's driving while also holding his phone in the other hand to film her and the ring. Can understand why she doesnt take it right

  83. Ow wow, such consideration. Proposes while she’s driving, with a magpie ring, keeps filming her and nagging her and dangling that ring in front of her. She might’ve been reluctant to dump him, but that proposal for sure sealed the deal.

  84. My ex proposed to me the night before New Year’s Eve, he had me find the ring in his pants pocket (he wasn’t wearing them) and he didn’t put a lot of effort in it. Thank God we never got married, too bad I spent 14 years of my life with him

  85. Wow he's tone deaf. How have they been together for ten years. That guy was holding the ring as he was holding a used toilet paper. Girl, run. It'll only get worse.

  86. Crystal better stay the fuck gone. Him acting like his proposal is such a huge favour to her that she should not dare ask for anything more. Zero respect, zero regard for her feelings. She deserves better.

  87. "In order to propose, I needed to get a ring. That was a requirement. So, I did that. I did the bare minimum. Is that not enough? What more do you want from me!?"

  88. I woke my wife up with a ring and flowers. We called off work and spent the rest of the morning together in bed. A proposal doesn’t have to be grand but come on my guy, this was a trainwreck

  89. Honestly I don’t blame her. He took a video to show this off it shows me that you’re just a manipulator . Also - she’s right. You probably knew she wanted something special but didn’t put any effort into the proposal. The man I was engaged to did something similar and it turned out he didn’t really value me much. People do what they’re willing to do. Looks to me like he’s just a manipulative man who thought “well damn I’m getting old. Let me marry this woman”

  90. Him recording after she’s said stop multiple times, especially when she’s stuck driving still, is wrong. Even more so when she gets the phone and records towards him and he’s covering his face which she didn’t get to do. Walk away girl you deserve better.

  91. Geez I don’t care at all for elaborate proposals but this is crap. And he’s like, “why aren’t you grateful?!” Bro, gratitude is not what you’re supposed to feel when someone proposes. Glad she’s leaving this dunce.

  92. Really though. If it took you 10 years to propose, at least try a little harder to plan and make her feel special while proposing, instead of just doing it like it’s not a big deal.

  93. My proposal was not super romantic by any means. We were in the kitchen after a meh date and I had just stuffed a donut in my mouth, but he had a really cute calendar with pictures of us and put a lot of thought into how he would do jt.

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