To all scout mains, You have a dinner date for seven... what time do you arrive?

  1. 8. PM. Forget to dress nicely, book it to the restaurant while almost getting run over. Reach the table and end up having dinner with the wrong girl. Get beat up by her boyfriend, pass out and wake up in the dumpster near the backdoor.

  2. As the Heavy, Scout, and Soldier return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling video calls them to ask how the mission went. She is slightly irritated that they left witnesses that she has to take care of for them. After arriving back at the base, Scout tries to ask her out, but he is unable to think of anything to say to her. At the base, they hear bad news from Engineer and Medic: teleporting bread results in large green tumors inside, leading them to conclude that the mercenaries have the tumors as well, and will all die. The Medic estimates that each team member has about three days left to live. Engineer provides each team member with a wristwatch that will count down to the time of the mercenaries' demises. In face of this news, Spy decides to collect a bucket list in a literal bucket. Spy delegated the task of collecting wishes to Scout, who has filled it with drawings of the Spy being hit by a car and having a romantic relationship with the Eiffel Tower. Spy remarks that his time has been wasted, and angrily bids the team farewell, after giving the Soldier the bucket. The Soldier then takes his bucket and picks up a loaf of bread dropped by the Medic. Afterwards, Scout comes to Spy's smoking room to apologize and seek his help. He confides that he did have a real wish for the bucket list: a date with Miss Pauling. Scout admits to Spy that while he himself is good with girls (a scene with the Tramp Girl appears), he is vastly outclassed by Spy when it comes to ladies. Scout then admits Spy is better than him, and Spy demands that broadcast around the base as payment for his services. Spy agrees to coach Scout in how to behave around a lady. While Scout shows some progress, Spy ultimately declares Scout a failure. When Scout retaliates towards Spy's attitude, Scout decides to do things his own way, which appears to have surprised and impressed the Spy. With two hours left on his death watch, Scout decides to take things into his own hands. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. She hurriedly arrives on the scene, but is infuriated upon learning that the briefcase is actually secure. While trying to talk to Pauling, the Soldier, Spy and Demoman spectate from another room. Spy is surprised that Scout is doing surprisingly well. Meanwhile, through experimentation, Medic and Engineer have come to the conclusion that the growths in the bread are, in fact, not tumors at all, but a self-aware birthmark that can only thrive in pure wheat. This means none of the mercenaries have tumors, and thus are not going to die. They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. To their horror, though, it seems that Soldier's last wish has been to do nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. Upset at Scout for wasting her “one day off a year”, Miss Pauling begins to leave. As Scout attempts to get her to stay, he opens a door, only to be confronted by a giant Bread Monster. A fight breaks out, with the other mercenaries rushing to their aid. One of the Medic's pet doves ends up eaten by the monster. During the fight, Miss Pauling attempts to blow up the Bread Monster by using a Payload cart, strapping the Scout's death watch to it to serve as a timer. As Scout attempts to help her, she and Scout end up trapped on the wrong side of the blast doors as the bomb is about to blow up. The two notice that the dove that the Bread Monster ate is flying harmlessly out of the mouth of the monster. They wordlessly agree to jump into the mouth of the Bread Monster, which they proceed to do in the nick of time. The Payload cart subsequently blows up, killing the Bread Monster. Stunned by the blast, Miss Pauling and Scout painfully but quickly recover inside the bread monster. Once she recovers, Miss Pauling admits that the experience was fun. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the gigantic Bread Monster by the rest of the team. The Medic informs them that only bread mutates, and that they will all be fine (after the Soldier mistakenly states that they will live forever), while the Pyro starts playfully chasing down the remaining small Bread Monster. The story ends with Scout trying to get another date, but Miss Pauling having to decline due to already having spent her one day of vacation this year. She does, however, offer to have Scout to come along at work, though he declines each task Pauling lists until she comes to the task of killing the one who pulled the briefcase alarm, which she says that Scout will already be at.

  3. 7. PM. Case the Taco stand, and run background checks on the chef. The cook is overcooked? If yes, bamboozle the chef. Throw the body for the wolves. Replace him with me, I am the best chef, cook the food no later than 12. PM.

  4. 7.. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  5. 6 hours late, drunk with a bucket of half eaten chicken drumsticks. Ask the date if she want to do it, get slapped.

  6. 7. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  7. 6:55. Get a table and wait. Five minutes later and he/she will arrive. Assure that all his/her necessary accommodations are set. Does he/she have an allergy? I will inform the staff. I will assure my date(s) has/have the best time.

  8. 6:45, wearing a tuxedo, but with the tie loosened to show that although I'm dressed up all nicely, I'm not shamefully hiding my laidback and carefree personality. I want her to like me for me, y'know?

  9. 6:47, pray she didn’t try and arrive early as well. Turns out she did, begin to panic as I forgot my wallet, I can’t run now, I’d be late. I sneak into the kitchen and steal the head chef’s wallet, turns out he’s broke, so I instead play it off like I work there, walk out with food and set it at her table, say it’s on me. Turns out she’s vegan and I brought her a steak. I leave in disappointment

  10. Seven. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him, dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later than 4:30.

  11. 7. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  12. I miss tf2. One day I j couldn’t stay connected to servers anymore. Weird cus warframe still works for me, but my computer is really old

  13. Seven. AM. Check out the the kitchen, is the chef sus? If he is, kill him, replace him with my own guy. I’m not a scout main, but I love expiration date

  14. 7pm, the day before, I need to see if the ingredients are perfect, if they aren't I need to break in and get them from my local source, later I should break into her house to guarantee no creep is going to spy on her, no offense.

  15. 7 am stake out the place, see if I can trust the cook. If I can’t, kill him and replace him with my own guy that I can trust, and preform background checks on the wait staff, if I can’t trust them I replace them with my own guys

  16. 7... am! Case the joint, run background checks on all the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him, dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30

  17. Arrive at scheduled time, can the manager be trusted? Nah, I gotta kill him. Destroy his business and build up my own restaurant chain around the country. Give her the best dinner date of her life and then swiftly change my name and address so the charges to the previous murder case do not stick.

  18. 12pm, case the area only to change it last minute to the restaurant across the road, find out that it’s Thai, I don’t like Thai, she definitely doesn’t like Thai, run the store, tie up the owners down the back, have my buddy who owes me a favour to change the entire decor to a 60s Caribbean style burger joint. Arrive at 6:30pm, feed the owners a bucket of chicken, who are still bound and gagged at the back of the restaurant. Meet her at the front and find out that it’s actually her parents business and convince her that this isn’t the same place and they must’ve sold it to some rich Cubans. Suggest maybe the place across the road, to which you still have the reservation, for a situation just like this one. Say you need to go to the toilet, duck out back across the street, untie her parents, tell them not to say a word or you’ll break their legs with a bat, apologise, come back to the table and propose.

  19. I am a pyro main but if I would be a scout main I would be late and when I arrived she will say you didnt come

  20. Seven? I'd have to get up real early to give each of the seven dates a good amount of time with me. Everyone deserves a bit of time with The Champ!

  21. 7 , AM. Case the restaurant , run background checks on the staff. Can the cooks be trusted ? If not I gotta kill em , dispose of the body , replace em with MY OWN guy , no later than 4:30.

  22. 7 AM, Case the restaurant. Run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him, dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later then 4:30

  23. 7. Am. Case the restaurant. Run background checks on the entire staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  24. 3pm, after waiting for 2 hours I'd get too anxious, make up a an excuse to whoever I'm going out with about me having to go home, then I'd cry in the shower all night because I'm a scout main

  25. 7... AM. Run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  26. 6:30, but I'm antsy and doubting everything. Did I get the time right? Am I too early and should wait for her or am I so late that she thought I wasn't coming and left?? Did I even get the day right??? Fuck...

  27. 7....Days later, find the restaurant, decide it's shit, get a bucket of chicken, fuck a local girl that cannot read, find a way to get back to the base only to find out the girl was a spy and took the inteligence.

  28. Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him.Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

  29. Obviously 6:45. If she is early, I don’t leave her waiting. If she is on time/late, I don’t have to wait long. If she doesn’t show up, I assume she saw who I mained.

  30. 7 am, do a bunch of psychotic shit that makes me look crazy, set off the briefcase alarm, fight mutant bread with her, get eaten and blown up.

  31. I haven’t played TF in a few years but I always thought the point was not to have a “main” - but instead be good enough at all the classes to switch to whatever is needed when it’s needed. I guess at the time I mostly played Spy because people didn’t know how to use that class effectively most of the time. Was I a Spy main!? What does that mean!?

  32. Arrive at 6 PM to eat her meal before she even shows up just to leave and get hit by a car because I was running in traffic.

  33. 7:00. AM. Gotta case the restaurant... can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill 'em, replace 'em with my own guy no later than 4:30.

  34. Not a scout main but do play him from time to time I would just stay home leave them to each other and cause them to get mad at me then show up an hour early when they think I’m late I show up and have a nice chat and eat some chicken

  35. 7. Am. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Get rid of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later than 4:30.

  36. 7 am. Do check on the restaurant staff. Can the cook be trusted. Nah I gotta kill him. Replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30

  37. Arrive at 7. Am. Do back up checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? No I gotta kill him. Replace him with my own guy no later than 4:20. And then wait for the lady or gentleman. Pay for the food and take her/him back home even if she/he lives on the other side of the town.

  38. 7. Am. Run backroom checks on staff. Can I trust the cook? No, I gotta kill him, replace him with my own guy, no later than 4:30

  39. Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30...

  40. 3. AM. Set the table with Zoo Pals plates and Paw Patrol utensils. Sit threateningly by the entrance and wait for the staff to arrive at approximately 8 AM. Aim my scattetgun named a racial slur at the staff as they arrive and command them to prepare the best fried chicken they can and to give me and my date the restaurant all to ourselves for the evening.

  41. 7. Am. The next day. Sorry I have very severe time blindness. The last time I looked up it was April... 2018. What day is it? I sure hope no insurrections have been attempted or major wars or pandemics have started...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin