that's something

  1. I had the same idea about the attic insulation; if we both came up with it they probably already have thought to look there.

  2. I bought a house last year and there was no insulation in the garage. But there was a bunch of junk in there like pool noodles shelf brackets.. yeah all of that is up there still buried under a foot thick of blown in.

  3. Well I’d wrap it with some duct tape and put a string around it. Then I’d slip that thing down the sewer main and secure the string by twisting it in the threads of the cap.

  4. I mean realistically 10 is too many. You want to convince them they can stop searching. At most hide 2 extras. You want one to seem like a decoy and a second to actually be decently hidden to make them think they're hot shit and figured you out by not falling for the first one.

  5. Finally, the bag of literally hundreds of random USB I picked up from decades of corporate conferences had a use. Couple of them had various viruses on them for...ehh...curiosity purpose. Encrypt a dozen or so and scatter them in random piles around the house. Then create a huge mess on top of them.

  6. can dogs smell usb drives? i would take the chip out (remove outside and connector) and hide it inside another electronic device

  7. How ya gonna get in a sewer main and create 10 bogus material flash drives and hide them all in 30 minutes? Best case you got the flash drives laying around waiting to go.

  8. I could probably cut a PVC pipe in my house and get it in a water line and put back together in 30 minutes.

  9. Unscrew one side of a hinge on a door. Cut small hole, put usb in hole, screw hinge back on door, vacuum the sawdust. I have never had a house searched by the police but they dont take the doors off the hinges on Law and order.

  10. Electronics sniffer dogs will find it immediately. You'd probably have to coat it in something to keep the smell out. Maybe just smear some petroleum jelly on it, that'd probably do the trick.

  11. Door hinges/frames are a semi-common hiding spot. You can find kits on Amazon. If the FBI wants to find something bad enough, they will tear your house apart from top to bottom.

  12. In the Bible, I think it's in the book of Genesis, it clearly states that you'll be reunited with all of the socks you lost and all of the USB drives you've lost over the course of your lifetime. My favorite is that you'll be reunited with all the books you loaned to friends and never got back.

  13. Jokes on them. My house has a black hole that hides something when it’s needed the most. I don’t have to worry about hiding it, all I have to say is “man I really need this thing” and my house takes care of it.

  14. Same, but it's when my brain gets tired of something. Doesn't matter if it's the keys to my car. The car stalled yesterday? Brain says fuck you, car keys! and yeets them into the upside down.

  15. But you know they will bring a Mom, she will say "Do I have to look for it myself?", activating the quantum presence of the USB in all the drawers inside the house. When you refuse, she will open one drawer causing quantum collapse and thus making it appear on this drawer.

  16. Assuming the data isn't more important than your freedom, 30 minutes is also a decent amount of time make the data on the drive unuseable

  17. I had the same thought but about my toddler. He loves hiding things and we never find them. My debit card was missing for over a week and finally he walked right up and handed it to me after I'd already ordered a new one.

  18. In 30 minutes, I'd leave my phone at home and go for a walk around the city. You're not hiding shit at home in 30 min without the feds (or any other determined, trained personnel) finding it.

  19. I guess it depends on how much they want that drive. 30 min isn't a long time to cut a floorboard or remove a tile. Best bet is to call your defense attorney, give it to them. As they are protected by client attorney privilege, and isn't part of the warrant, they cannot be searched. Technically they would be in the house. If he can't make it in time, put it in an envelope and in your mail box with proper postage addressed to them. There must be a separate court order that allows mail to be searched and it's hard to get since it's federal. They can read the address, but they can't open it due to the 4th amendment.

  20. Go to the nearest outlet, unscrew the gang plate, and drop it into the wall. Will you ever get it back? Don't count on it, but the odds of them finding it are slim to none.

  21. At that point just flush it down the toilet. I think the question presumes that you want the USB back.

  22. Those flash drive sniffing dogs people keep talking about will look like they are just interested in cat turds, so this might be the best method

  23. I can explain what the socks and spoons are being used for. When you’re through with them, they’re either too rusty or crusty to return them to regular use.

  24. I mean, I’d probably hide it in the ungodly mass of winter gear, footwear and other articles of clothing in my furnace room that I’m pretty sure moves when I’m not looking.

  25. The best thing to do is just take the casing off so the board is exposed and put it inside (laying on the motherboard) of another electronic. It's camouflage and hidden on plain sight kindof.

  26. Assuming only the one warrant & it's strictly limited to my address, post it to myself from a public post box - if in the US, put it in the mailbox of a neighbour who I know is out.

  27. Per the wording, we probably have to assume they have someone watching the house and it has to be inside. Otherwise hell, I'll go hide it in the woods accross the street

  28. But if you had time to hide like this scenario, you could buy a bunch of decoy USBs and lace them with something to confuse the dogs, like the blood and cocaine mix used in WWII to confuse German dogs trying to find stowaways.

  29. later article which references that case, describes a dog rightfully detecting a microSD amidst sticky-notes even after handler believed they'd fully checked it

  30. A lab willing to learn a new trick for constant rewards. I imagine that clip of all the formulas around Zach Galifianakis head but Zach replaced with a Labrador.

  31. Spend 10 minutes hiding the USB. Spend the next 20 minutes creating encrypted decoys that only contain various versions of Never Gonna Give You Up. Imagine the frustration after decrypting USB number 10 just to willingly Rick Roll yourself….again. USB 11? Word documents with scrambled Rick Roll song lyrics. USB 12? Detailed instructions on where to find the real USB that gradually morph into Never Gonna Give You Up lyrics. The possibilities are endless….

  32. If the gov't shows up with a warrant for electronic devices, a: they know you have it b: they're going to find it and c: the harder you try to hide it the more shit they destroy.

  33. So finding a needle in a haystack is easy for them, I guess you got to hide it in a stack of needles then.

  34. At least that’s what they lead us to believe. They haven’t found a thing on a US politician in the last decade.

  35. You have 30 minutes to hide it but they have an unlimited amount of time to find it. If they really want it then they can tear the house down to the last brick.

  36. Note to self: if I need to hide something from the FBI, go hide it somewhere outside not on my property with some sticky tape

  37. That's why this scenario is such a shit one. You get 30 minutes but they get unspecified time to find it and can rip your world apart to do so. Obviously you're going to fucking lose.

  38. if you have a front loading clothes washer, hide it in the filter. why? did you know front loading washer have filters? front loading washers have filters

  39. Take a candle, put it in a pot of water and heat it on the stove until the candle melts. Wrap the drive in a a bunch of plastic wrap to seal it and help insulate from the heat, then put it inside the melted candle. Then put it in the fridge to quickly solidify the wax. Once it's done, light the candle and put it back where you got it.

  40. Bury it in the garden. Or stick it somewhere private on my person. OR climb on the roof and put it in the gutter under piles of leaves. There are so many places to hide things… not that I would know.

  41. Best answer in this thread is on the roof I think. In the garden it would very likely get sniffed out by dogs, assuming they were using the full extent of their resources, but I highly doubt they'd check the roof, and I don't think dogs would be able to find it. It's also fairly easy to get up there if you have a ladder.

  42. The correct answer is to take a butter knife go into the neighbor's yard. Slice a 45 degree angle into the ground slide the USB drive into it step on it. Clean the knife.

  43. Take apart your graphics card and put in just the pcb board. put back together. No way will they take apart a gpu.

  44. I once hid a joint from the cops searching my car by putting it in the straw of the Starbucks drink I had just gotten. They searched for a while and could only give me a speeding ticket

  45. I had a little bag of weed that I put in a folded up map in the map pocket of my door. They never unfolded my map, just casually flipped through the shit in the map pocket.....amatuers

  46. Hide a variety of usb sticks. Real one is an sd card I've placed under the doorknob cover of the front doorm the door opens inwards so when they arrive it is technically 'in' the house, but once the door shuts it's just outside their search perimeter. Hopefully enough of a trap to keep them focused on the other sticks

  47. What you do is pop the case apart, take the PCB board and, this is the important part, specifically around the memory chip you start chewing it up. Try and eat the memory.

  48. hollow out a potato or something and stick it in there and put a potato cork back. Also Buy 100000 USB drives, cover them in glue, and scatter them everywhere.

  49. My thought was food too. Drop it in non-transparent milk bottle, creamer carton, peanut butter, yogurt, salad dressing, or something like that. If they are thorough enough to be destroying every bit of food in your house, they'll find it anyway.

  50. I also thought of something similar to this with food. My original idea was to wrap it in plastic wrap or a ziplock (possibly with some of scented thing like flowers or something to throw off the dogs) and make one of those "no bake" cakes or brownies and put it in there. Something more innocuous like a potato would probably be better though.

  51. Cling film, celotape it inside your sink's "U" pipe, put everything back as it was. Not neat, keep it messy under the sink.

  52. A fake just ensures that they take down every single drywall and shingle of your house to make sure they didn't miss anything else

  53. I slap a "baby pictures" label on it, and hide it in a box next to my box of classified documents. Apparently the DOJ isnt allowed to keep anything that isnt clearly marked classified.

  54. Only real answer here, it's illegal for the government to cut you open to find evidence of a crime and they'll only wait for you to go to the bathroom if they have a reason to suspect you swallowed it.

  55. Actual question though, if you had to swallow a USB key, wouldn't that be dangerous or even not feasible? What would make it safe, wrapping it in something like a condom?

  56. First, you hide the actual USB off your property. Put it on/in your neighbor’s yard, mailbox, AC unit whatever. Second, you have another encrypted USB that has uncomfortable but not illegal stuff on it such as fetish porn, love letters from an ex, embarrassing fan fiction you’ve written, whatever. You “hide” that somewhere and leave telltale signs. A small amount of drywall dust under the electrical outlet. The screws on the air vent are crooked and loose. Somewhere that they will have to search and think they hit gold when they find it. The encryption will take a while for them to crack, giving you more time to properly hide/dispose of the real USB. NAC

  57. I would take one tampon out of the box, remove the tampon from the applicator, insert USB, reseal tampon package and mix it in with the other tampons. Even if they dumped the box, it would all just look like unopened tampons.

  58. If I'm a criminal dealing in information then that USB drive only lasts long enough for me to get that information somewhere safe anyway. It wouldn't have made it to my house. It would be stored on an encrypted drive on a secure server overseas from a prepaid card bought in cash by a homeless man 3 hours away from me under the name Bob Oliver Francis Howard. It would have gotten there by a VPN on a secure boot drive from a public access point. The info would be verified, encrypted, reverified, the data would be backed up from there to a different server somewhere else overseas, both servers would then be shut down, then both drives would be shredded and ditched before coming back to my place.

  59. Okay guys, Simmons has it up on Reddit, Jones has Quora covered and Rodriguez is out making TikToks asking people on the streets

  60. Ex convict here. It would be wrapped in plastic and up my butt. To most people hiding shit in your butt is horrifying. To convicts its just another thursday

  61. Disassemble a big enough laptop power adapter casing and refit the case parts afterwards. Bonus points to tape it up tight enough not to rattle.

  62. Id transfer the contents of the USB to a micro SD (most micro SD won't trip metal detectors) and then put scotch tape around it and put it in the bar of soap in my bathtub (this prevents sniffer dogs from finding it.) Lather up the soap to close the hole and place it back in it's spot.

  63. If it were my actual house I’d just tie it to my cat and let her go out. She’s easily out 12 hours sometimes more but she’ll come home eventually and the feds will be long gone by then.

  64. I got this… I’d pop off the usb case, remove the tiny memory chip from the tiny board then id secure the memory chip to my homing pigeon which is trained to fly to my secret base. That’s where my friend Esteban is waiting. Esteban would take the chip and insert it into his rectum before going to immigration services where he would be promptly deported. This is where it gets interesting…. Once back in Mexico Esteban rebuilds the usb with said memory chip. There’s damning evidence against the FBI on it along with a billion dollars in bitcoin. Knowing I’m no doubt in a holding facility while the house in being ransacked by the FBI Esteban knows exactly what to do. If you want to know the rest of the story I need at least 10 upvotes.

  65. The correct answer is in the attic insulation. Can speak from a friends experience, they didn’t check it and definitely should’ve.

  66. 30 minutes is enough time for a clever, well equipped person to take a toilet off the floor, pull it outside and route out an opening in the ceramic underneath, put the USB in a bag in the hole and repack it with ceramic putty, then just bolt the toilet back down.

  67. Inside one of the appliances. 30 minutes is plenty of time to dismantle a clothes dryer, microwave, dishwasher, etc., stow the USB stick somewhere inside, like in the electronics housing (so electronics-sniffing dogs get a false positive), and then reassemble the appliance. Toss in some clothes/dishes/food and run it just before they show up for good measure, to show the thing is still working and less likely to have been modified.

  68. Considering crime syndicates were using WoW guild chat to organize human trafficking which was circumvented by the CIA targeting them in game.....

  69. If you're in Ontario, Canada, and the OPP are going to be conducting the search, just remove a potlight, stick it up in the ceiling, and replace the potlight.

  70. Upload it all to a Swedish hosting site using fake credentials and then microwave the USB for 15 minutes

  71. As someone who recently had a relative’s home searched by the fbi where they seized all computer technologies (including usb drives) and then having been the person who found the 1 usb they forgot while I cleaned out the house later - the proper answer is ‘plugged into the back of a large television that’s up against a wall.’

  72. Wrap it in a couple Ziploc bags and stick it in one of the sink traps just remember it's there before you use the sink again. Stick something heavy like a small rock or magnet in it for extra insurance it'll stay put

  73. I have a bottle of UV hardening resin and colour pigments. So I'd wrap the stick, put it in a silicone mold and fill it up with colored resin. It hardens in 5 minutes under the UV lamp, then I'd just put it up as decoration or throw it in a messy drawer.

  74. You’ve got 30 minutes— grab a coffee, walk down street and drop in nearest drain. Grab watermelon juice and wander home. Start watching The old man on Disney and wait for the knock.

  75. No matter where you hide it, leave a different USB drive out in plain sight. They will take that one and leave. Then you go find the real one and hide it off your property.

  76. The person who lived in my house before me left due to being convicted of shitloads of child pornography which were found in a spot under the floor boards that he made. Currently I have some furniture on top of it and the only part that you can press to open it is under a rug. I'd probably just use that. It's actually a huge space between the basement and ground floor and it's pitch black, gross, uneven, and overall just a hard place to find a small object like a USB drive.

  77. It specifies searching the house and not the insides of the owner. So I'd say, some way of swallowing it if it was small enough. Or up the opposite way 🙈

  78. Take apart your shower curtain rod and put it inside. Or put it inside a hollow table leg. Tape it to the underside of the toilet tank lid. Hide it inside the kitty litter box. Inside a box of macaroni. Put it in a snack sized zip lock bag and push it into a jar of peanut butter.

  79. You don’t. Launch that shit into the neighbors yard at specific area, so you’ll know where to search for it.

  80. On top of a truss in basement, little dug out with some puddy over it sp its smooth. Can't even get your head up there to actually see the puddu only your hand and it would just feel like smooth wood all blended. Bonus no dog is sniffing it out

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