I bought a house last year and there was no insulation in the garage. But there was a bunch of junk in there like pool noodles shelf brackets.. yeah all of that is up there still buried under a foot thick of blown in.
Well I’d wrap it with some duct tape and put a string around it. Then I’d slip that thing down the sewer main and secure the string by twisting it in the threads of the cap.
I mean realistically 10 is too many. You want to convince them they can stop searching. At most hide 2 extras. You want one to seem like a decoy and a second to actually be decently hidden to make them think they're hot shit and figured you out by not falling for the first one.
Finally, the bag of literally hundreds of random USB I picked up from decades of corporate conferences had a use. Couple of them had various viruses on them for...ehh...curiosity purpose. Encrypt a dozen or so and scatter them in random piles around the house. Then create a huge mess on top of them.
How ya gonna get in a sewer main and create 10 bogus material flash drives and hide them all in 30 minutes? Best case you got the flash drives laying around waiting to go.
Unscrew one side of a hinge on a door. Cut small hole, put usb in hole, screw hinge back on door, vacuum the sawdust. I have never had a house searched by the police but they dont take the doors off the hinges on Law and order.
Electronics sniffer dogs will find it immediately. You'd probably have to coat it in something to keep the smell out. Maybe just smear some petroleum jelly on it, that'd probably do the trick.
Door hinges/frames are a semi-common hiding spot. You can find kits on Amazon. If the FBI wants to find something bad enough, they will tear your house apart from top to bottom.
In the Bible, I think it's in the book of Genesis, it clearly states that you'll be reunited with all of the socks you lost and all of the USB drives you've lost over the course of your lifetime. My favorite is that you'll be reunited with all the books you loaned to friends and never got back.
Jokes on them. My house has a black hole that hides something when it’s needed the most. I don’t have to worry about hiding it, all I have to say is “man I really need this thing” and my house takes care of it.
Same, but it's when my brain gets tired of something. Doesn't matter if it's the keys to my car. The car stalled yesterday? Brain says fuck you, car keys! and yeets them into the upside down.
But you know they will bring a Mom, she will say "Do I have to look for it myself?", activating the quantum presence of the USB in all the drawers inside the house. When you refuse, she will open one drawer causing quantum collapse and thus making it appear on this drawer.
I had the same thought but about my toddler. He loves hiding things and we never find them. My debit card was missing for over a week and finally he walked right up and handed it to me after I'd already ordered a new one.
In 30 minutes, I'd leave my phone at home and go for a walk around the city. You're not hiding shit at home in 30 min without the feds (or any other determined, trained personnel) finding it.
I guess it depends on how much they want that drive. 30 min isn't a long time to cut a floorboard or remove a tile. Best bet is to call your defense attorney, give it to them. As they are protected by client attorney privilege, and isn't part of the warrant, they cannot be searched. Technically they would be in the house. If he can't make it in time, put it in an envelope and in your mail box with proper postage addressed to them. There must be a separate court order that allows mail to be searched and it's hard to get since it's federal. They can read the address, but they can't open it due to the 4th amendment.
Go to the nearest outlet, unscrew the gang plate, and drop it into the wall. Will you ever get it back? Don't count on it, but the odds of them finding it are slim to none.
I can explain what the socks and spoons are being used for. When you’re through with them, they’re either too rusty or crusty to return them to regular use.
I mean, I’d probably hide it in the ungodly mass of winter gear, footwear and other articles of clothing in my furnace room that I’m pretty sure moves when I’m not looking.
The best thing to do is just take the casing off so the board is exposed and put it inside (laying on the motherboard) of another electronic. It's camouflage and hidden on plain sight kindof.
Assuming only the one warrant & it's strictly limited to my address, post it to myself from a public post box - if in the US, put it in the mailbox of a neighbour who I know is out.
Per the wording, we probably have to assume they have someone watching the house and it has to be inside. Otherwise hell, I'll go hide it in the woods accross the street
But if you had time to hide like this scenario, you could buy a bunch of decoy USBs and lace them with something to confuse the dogs, like the blood and cocaine mix used in WWII to confuse German dogs trying to find stowaways.
later article which references that case, describes a dog rightfully detecting a microSD amidst sticky-notes even after handler believed they'd fully checked it
A lab willing to learn a new trick for constant rewards. I imagine that clip of all the formulas around Zach Galifianakis head but Zach replaced with a Labrador.
Spend 10 minutes hiding the USB. Spend the next 20 minutes creating encrypted decoys that only contain various versions of Never Gonna Give You Up. Imagine the frustration after decrypting USB number 10 just to willingly Rick Roll yourself….again. USB 11? Word documents with scrambled Rick Roll song lyrics. USB 12? Detailed instructions on where to find the real USB that gradually morph into Never Gonna Give You Up lyrics. The possibilities are endless….
If the gov't shows up with a warrant for electronic devices, a: they know you have it b: they're going to find it and c: the harder you try to hide it the more shit they destroy.
You have 30 minutes to hide it but they have an unlimited amount of time to find it. If they really want it then they can tear the house down to the last brick.
That's why this scenario is such a shit one. You get 30 minutes but they get unspecified time to find it and can rip your world apart to do so. Obviously you're going to fucking lose.
if you have a front loading clothes washer, hide it in the filter. why? did you know front loading washer have filters? front loading washers have filters
Take a candle, put it in a pot of water and heat it on the stove until the candle melts. Wrap the drive in a a bunch of plastic wrap to seal it and help insulate from the heat, then put it inside the melted candle. Then put it in the fridge to quickly solidify the wax. Once it's done, light the candle and put it back where you got it.
Bury it in the garden. Or stick it somewhere private on my person. OR climb on the roof and put it in the gutter under piles of leaves. There are so many places to hide things… not that I would know.
Best answer in this thread is on the roof I think. In the garden it would very likely get sniffed out by dogs, assuming they were using the full extent of their resources, but I highly doubt they'd check the roof, and I don't think dogs would be able to find it. It's also fairly easy to get up there if you have a ladder.
The correct answer is to take a butter knife go into the neighbor's yard. Slice a 45 degree angle into the ground slide the USB drive into it step on it. Clean the knife.
I once hid a joint from the cops searching my car by putting it in the straw of the Starbucks drink I had just gotten. They searched for a while and could only give me a speeding ticket
I had a little bag of weed that I put in a folded up map in the map pocket of my door. They never unfolded my map, just casually flipped through the shit in the map pocket.....amatuers
Hide a variety of usb sticks. Real one is an sd card I've placed under the doorknob cover of the front doorm the door opens inwards so when they arrive it is technically 'in' the house, but once the door shuts it's just outside their search perimeter. Hopefully enough of a trap to keep them focused on the other sticks
What you do is pop the case apart, take the PCB board and, this is the important part, specifically around the memory chip you start chewing it up. Try and eat the memory.
hollow out a potato or something and stick it in there and put a potato cork back. Also Buy 100000 USB drives, cover them in glue, and scatter them everywhere.
My thought was food too. Drop it in non-transparent milk bottle, creamer carton, peanut butter, yogurt, salad dressing, or something like that. If they are thorough enough to be destroying every bit of food in your house, they'll find it anyway.
I also thought of something similar to this with food. My original idea was to wrap it in plastic wrap or a ziplock (possibly with some of scented thing like flowers or something to throw off the dogs) and make one of those "no bake" cakes or brownies and put it in there. Something more innocuous like a potato would probably be better though.
I slap a "baby pictures" label on it, and hide it in a box next to my box of classified documents. Apparently the DOJ isnt allowed to keep anything that isnt clearly marked classified.
Only real answer here, it's illegal for the government to cut you open to find evidence of a crime and they'll only wait for you to go to the bathroom if they have a reason to suspect you swallowed it.
Actual question though, if you had to swallow a USB key, wouldn't that be dangerous or even not feasible? What would make it safe, wrapping it in something like a condom?
First, you hide the actual USB off your property. Put it on/in your neighbor’s yard, mailbox, AC unit whatever. Second, you have another encrypted USB that has uncomfortable but not illegal stuff on it such as fetish porn, love letters from an ex, embarrassing fan fiction you’ve written, whatever. You “hide” that somewhere and leave telltale signs. A small amount of drywall dust under the electrical outlet. The screws on the air vent are crooked and loose. Somewhere that they will have to search and think they hit gold when they find it. The encryption will take a while for them to crack, giving you more time to properly hide/dispose of the real USB. NAC
I would take one tampon out of the box, remove the tampon from the applicator, insert USB, reseal tampon package and mix it in with the other tampons. Even if they dumped the box, it would all just look like unopened tampons.
If I'm a criminal dealing in information then that USB drive only lasts long enough for me to get that information somewhere safe anyway. It wouldn't have made it to my house. It would be stored on an encrypted drive on a secure server overseas from a prepaid card bought in cash by a homeless man 3 hours away from me under the name Bob Oliver Francis Howard. It would have gotten there by a VPN on a secure boot drive from a public access point. The info would be verified, encrypted, reverified, the data would be backed up from there to a different server somewhere else overseas, both servers would then be shut down, then both drives would be shredded and ditched before coming back to my place.
Ex convict here. It would be wrapped in plastic and up my butt. To most people hiding shit in your butt is horrifying. To convicts its just another thursday
Id transfer the contents of the USB to a micro SD (most micro SD won't trip metal detectors) and then put scotch tape around it and put it in the bar of soap in my bathtub (this prevents sniffer dogs from finding it.) Lather up the soap to close the hole and place it back in it's spot.
If it were my actual house I’d just tie it to my cat and let her go out. She’s easily out 12 hours sometimes more but she’ll come home eventually and the feds will be long gone by then.
I got this… I’d pop off the usb case, remove the tiny memory chip from the tiny board then id secure the memory chip to my homing pigeon which is trained to fly to my secret base. That’s where my friend Esteban is waiting. Esteban would take the chip and insert it into his rectum before going to immigration services where he would be promptly deported. This is where it gets interesting…. Once back in Mexico Esteban rebuilds the usb with said memory chip. There’s damning evidence against the FBI on it along with a billion dollars in bitcoin. Knowing I’m no doubt in a holding facility while the house in being ransacked by the FBI Esteban knows exactly what to do. If you want to know the rest of the story I need at least 10 upvotes.
30 minutes is enough time for a clever, well equipped person to take a toilet off the floor, pull it outside and route out an opening in the ceramic underneath, put the USB in a bag in the hole and repack it with ceramic putty, then just bolt the toilet back down.
Inside one of the appliances. 30 minutes is plenty of time to dismantle a clothes dryer, microwave, dishwasher, etc., stow the USB stick somewhere inside, like in the electronics housing (so electronics-sniffing dogs get a false positive), and then reassemble the appliance. Toss in some clothes/dishes/food and run it just before they show up for good measure, to show the thing is still working and less likely to have been modified.
If you're in Ontario, Canada, and the OPP are going to be conducting the search, just remove a potlight, stick it up in the ceiling, and replace the potlight.
As someone who recently had a relative’s home searched by the fbi where they seized all computer technologies (including usb drives) and then having been the person who found the 1 usb they forgot while I cleaned out the house later - the proper answer is ‘plugged into the back of a large television that’s up against a wall.’
Wrap it in a couple Ziploc bags and stick it in one of the sink traps just remember it's there before you use the sink again. Stick something heavy like a small rock or magnet in it for extra insurance it'll stay put
I have a bottle of UV hardening resin and colour pigments. So I'd wrap the stick, put it in a silicone mold and fill it up with colored resin. It hardens in 5 minutes under the UV lamp, then I'd just put it up as decoration or throw it in a messy drawer.
You’ve got 30 minutes— grab a coffee, walk down street and drop in nearest drain. Grab watermelon juice and wander home. Start watching The old man on Disney and wait for the knock.
No matter where you hide it, leave a different USB drive out in plain sight. They will take that one and leave. Then you go find the real one and hide it off your property.
The person who lived in my house before me left due to being convicted of shitloads of child pornography which were found in a spot under the floor boards that he made. Currently I have some furniture on top of it and the only part that you can press to open it is under a rug. I'd probably just use that. It's actually a huge space between the basement and ground floor and it's pitch black, gross, uneven, and overall just a hard place to find a small object like a USB drive.
It specifies searching the house and not the insides of the owner. So I'd say, some way of swallowing it if it was small enough. Or up the opposite way 🙈
Take apart your shower curtain rod and put it inside. Or put it inside a hollow table leg. Tape it to the underside of the toilet tank lid. Hide it inside the kitty litter box. Inside a box of macaroni. Put it in a snack sized zip lock bag and push it into a jar of peanut butter.
On top of a truss in basement, little dug out with some puddy over it sp its smooth. Can't even get your head up there to actually see the puddu only your hand and it would just feel like smooth wood all blended. Bonus no dog is sniffing it out
If this is suspiciously specific, Upvote this comment!
I figured an actual criminal was asking, but maybe it's the FBI. So much more funny.
If I were a criminal, which I'm not, I would hide it somewhere outside my house, totally random, but only if I were a criminal which again I am not.
If it is indeed the FBI, my suggested hiding place is up my pitbull's ass.
In the electrical panel, taped behind the bus bar. I promise you no dog is sniffing that one out.
I had the same idea about the attic insulation; if we both came up with it they probably already have thought to look there.
I bought a house last year and there was no insulation in the garage. But there was a bunch of junk in there like pool noodles shelf brackets.. yeah all of that is up there still buried under a foot thick of blown in.
Damn those USB sniffing dogs
put it in one of your socks in the washing machine, it will hase out of existence forever
Believe me FBI will be looking in there or in the insulation ducts or the attic if the USB is that important.
[удалено]
Well I’d wrap it with some duct tape and put a string around it. Then I’d slip that thing down the sewer main and secure the string by twisting it in the threads of the cap.
You might be a good FBI agent or an excellent drug dealer.
I mean realistically 10 is too many. You want to convince them they can stop searching. At most hide 2 extras. You want one to seem like a decoy and a second to actually be decently hidden to make them think they're hot shit and figured you out by not falling for the first one.
Finally, the bag of literally hundreds of random USB I picked up from decades of corporate conferences had a use. Couple of them had various viruses on them for...ehh...curiosity purpose. Encrypt a dozen or so and scatter them in random piles around the house. Then create a huge mess on top of them.
can dogs smell usb drives? i would take the chip out (remove outside and connector) and hide it inside another electronic device
I vote for this guys idea. Its the best so far.
How ya gonna get in a sewer main and create 10 bogus material flash drives and hide them all in 30 minutes? Best case you got the flash drives laying around waiting to go.
I could probably cut a PVC pipe in my house and get it in a water line and put back together in 30 minutes.
I thought of pretty much exactly the same thing, so not sure if this is a good idea or not
I hate yuumi too
Unscrew one side of a hinge on a door. Cut small hole, put usb in hole, screw hinge back on door, vacuum the sawdust. I have never had a house searched by the police but they dont take the doors off the hinges on Law and order.
Electronics sniffer dogs will find it immediately. You'd probably have to coat it in something to keep the smell out. Maybe just smear some petroleum jelly on it, that'd probably do the trick.
Door hinges/frames are a semi-common hiding spot. You can find kits on Amazon. If the FBI wants to find something bad enough, they will tear your house apart from top to bottom.
Former cop here.
[удалено]
I remember they did this in burn notice. Very slick spot indeed
fbi immediately deletes their post
The FBI is too busy posting questions to
I'd hide it where the rest of my USB drives are.
In the Bible, I think it's in the book of Genesis, it clearly states that you'll be reunited with all of the socks you lost and all of the USB drives you've lost over the course of your lifetime. My favorite is that you'll be reunited with all the books you loaned to friends and never got back.
what the fuck happened in Texas in 2004?
I recently found a usb drive that I lost 5 years ago on the other side of the country I had moved 4 time since loosing that drive.
Jokes on them. My house has a black hole that hides something when it’s needed the most. I don’t have to worry about hiding it, all I have to say is “man I really need this thing” and my house takes care of it.
Same, but it's when my brain gets tired of something. Doesn't matter if it's the keys to my car. The car stalled yesterday? Brain says fuck you, car keys! and yeets them into the upside down.
Ah so it's like an anti-room of requirement
If your life is anything like mine i think you'll find the house is innocent; it's the wife who's to blame
But you know they will bring a Mom, she will say "Do I have to look for it myself?", activating the quantum presence of the USB in all the drawers inside the house. When you refuse, she will open one drawer causing quantum collapse and thus making it appear on this drawer.
30 minutes is way too much time. If they're taking that long I'd just hide it somewhere else
Assuming the data isn't more important than your freedom, 30 minutes is also a decent amount of time make the data on the drive unuseable
Hide It in their arses
They check your ass, very rarely will they check your dog's.
Official F.B.I. training materials
that you Hans Niemann?
Sew it inside a cat toy and give it to the cat. God knows where she keeps hiding them but it will never be seen again.
I had the same thought but about my toddler. He loves hiding things and we never find them. My debit card was missing for over a week and finally he walked right up and handed it to me after I'd already ordered a new one.
In 30 minutes, I'd leave my phone at home and go for a walk around the city. You're not hiding shit at home in 30 min without the feds (or any other determined, trained personnel) finding it.
What if you live in rural Iowa?
I guess it depends on how much they want that drive. 30 min isn't a long time to cut a floorboard or remove a tile. Best bet is to call your defense attorney, give it to them. As they are protected by client attorney privilege, and isn't part of the warrant, they cannot be searched. Technically they would be in the house. If he can't make it in time, put it in an envelope and in your mail box with proper postage addressed to them. There must be a separate court order that allows mail to be searched and it's hard to get since it's federal. They can read the address, but they can't open it due to the 4th amendment.
Well I definitely wouldn’t hide it in my house then.
Go to the nearest outlet, unscrew the gang plate, and drop it into the wall. Will you ever get it back? Don't count on it, but the odds of them finding it are slim to none.
Endoscoping walls is something that's done - so that's not a surefire guarantee.
At that point just flush it down the toilet. I think the question presumes that you want the USB back.
They have now have dogs that are trained to sniff out electronics like USB drives and portable HDDs.
I sat here for 5mins and decided this would be the best option, looked at the comments and this is the first one.
Inside a big turd of my cats litter box
You fool, they would find it when snacking later!
Those flash drive sniffing dogs people keep talking about will look like they are just interested in cat turds, so this might be the best method
This is exactly where my mind went first!
Inside bicycle tyre
Downside is the search dog might find it when he goes for a quick snack.
I'd throw it in my sons room where all socks and spoons disappear
wait, spoon?
I can explain what the socks and spoons are being used for. When you’re through with them, they’re either too rusty or crusty to return them to regular use.
I mean, I’d probably hide it in the ungodly mass of winter gear, footwear and other articles of clothing in my furnace room that I’m pretty sure moves when I’m not looking.
The best thing to do is just take the casing off so the board is exposed and put it inside (laying on the motherboard) of another electronic. It's camouflage and hidden on plain sight kindof.
This is good. But what do I do with the casing?
Assuming only the one warrant & it's strictly limited to my address, post it to myself from a public post box - if in the US, put it in the mailbox of a neighbour who I know is out.
This guy crimes
Per the wording, we probably have to assume they have someone watching the house and it has to be inside. Otherwise hell, I'll go hide it in the woods accross the street
I don’t think anyone would win against these dogs.
But if you had time to hide like this scenario, you could buy a bunch of decoy USBs and lace them with something to confuse the dogs, like the blood and cocaine mix used in WWII to confuse German dogs trying to find stowaways.
later article which references that case, describes a dog rightfully detecting a microSD amidst sticky-notes even after handler believed they'd fully checked it
Sprinkle triphenylphosphine oxide everywhere, problem solved.
A lab willing to learn a new trick for constant rewards. I imagine that clip of all the formulas around Zach Galifianakis head but Zach replaced with a Labrador.
Spend 10 minutes hiding the USB. Spend the next 20 minutes creating encrypted decoys that only contain various versions of Never Gonna Give You Up. Imagine the frustration after decrypting USB number 10 just to willingly Rick Roll yourself….again. USB 11? Word documents with scrambled Rick Roll song lyrics. USB 12? Detailed instructions on where to find the real USB that gradually morph into Never Gonna Give You Up lyrics. The possibilities are endless….
Real world answer:
If the gov't shows up with a warrant for electronic devices, a: they know you have it b: they're going to find it and c: the harder you try to hide it the more shit they destroy.
So finding a needle in a haystack is easy for them, I guess you got to hide it in a stack of needles then.
At least that’s what they lead us to believe. They haven’t found a thing on a US politician in the last decade.
You have 30 minutes to hide it but they have an unlimited amount of time to find it. If they really want it then they can tear the house down to the last brick.
Note to self: if I need to hide something from the FBI, go hide it somewhere outside not on my property with some sticky tape
That's why this scenario is such a shit one. You get 30 minutes but they get unspecified time to find it and can rip your world apart to do so. Obviously you're going to fucking lose.
if you have a front loading clothes washer, hide it in the filter. why? did you know front loading washer have filters? front loading washers have filters
I bet you once had to use all your towels in one night too, right?
I'd just put it down and then look away for five seconds.
Take a candle, put it in a pot of water and heat it on the stove until the candle melts. Wrap the drive in a a bunch of plastic wrap to seal it and help insulate from the heat, then put it inside the melted candle. Then put it in the fridge to quickly solidify the wax. Once it's done, light the candle and put it back where you got it.
Bury it in the garden. Or stick it somewhere private on my person. OR climb on the roof and put it in the gutter under piles of leaves. There are so many places to hide things… not that I would know.
Go on roof. Cover in soot. Reach down a full arms length and Super glue it to the inside of the chimney spout
Best answer in this thread is on the roof I think. In the garden it would very likely get sniffed out by dogs, assuming they were using the full extent of their resources, but I highly doubt they'd check the roof, and I don't think dogs would be able to find it. It's also fairly easy to get up there if you have a ladder.
The correct answer is to take a butter knife go into the neighbor's yard. Slice a 45 degree angle into the ground slide the USB drive into it step on it. Clean the knife.
Take apart your graphics card and put in just the pcb board. put back together. No way will they take apart a gpu.
Local police? Yeah, probably won't.
If I don't need it, microwave it for 30 minutes.
What was this from again
Wonderful.
I would throw it into the knee deep insulation in my attic.
In a small box in the roof gutter.
I once hid a joint from the cops searching my car by putting it in the straw of the Starbucks drink I had just gotten. They searched for a while and could only give me a speeding ticket
Must have been a real thin joint
That’s a thin joint brother
I had a little bag of weed that I put in a folded up map in the map pocket of my door. They never unfolded my map, just casually flipped through the shit in the map pocket.....amatuers
Hide a variety of usb sticks. Real one is an sd card I've placed under the doorknob cover of the front doorm the door opens inwards so when they arrive it is technically 'in' the house, but once the door shuts it's just outside their search perimeter. Hopefully enough of a trap to keep them focused on the other sticks
What you do is pop the case apart, take the PCB board and, this is the important part, specifically around the memory chip you start chewing it up. Try and eat the memory.
I heard they can get to your memories now
hollow out a potato or something and stick it in there and put a potato cork back. Also Buy 100000 USB drives, cover them in glue, and scatter them everywhere.
My thought was food too. Drop it in non-transparent milk bottle, creamer carton, peanut butter, yogurt, salad dressing, or something like that. If they are thorough enough to be destroying every bit of food in your house, they'll find it anyway.
I also thought of something similar to this with food. My original idea was to wrap it in plastic wrap or a ziplock (possibly with some of scented thing like flowers or something to throw off the dogs) and make one of those "no bake" cakes or brownies and put it in there. Something more innocuous like a potato would probably be better though.
Place 100 or so USB's all over your house.
you have 100 usbs laying around, and 100 different fake hiding spots? you only have 30 minutes!
Cling film, celotape it inside your sink's "U" pipe, put everything back as it was. Not neat, keep it messy under the sink.
A fake just ensures that they take down every single drywall and shingle of your house to make sure they didn't miss anything else
I slap a "baby pictures" label on it, and hide it in a box next to my box of classified documents. Apparently the DOJ isnt allowed to keep anything that isnt clearly marked classified.
I write 'evidence of politicans and rich people doing crimes' on it in sharpie and suddenly they're totally blind to it
Average Epstein's home drawer
You say that as if the government would follow their own rules
I would put saran wrap around it and put it in the middle of my gallon of mint ice cream in the freezer
Swallow it.
Makes sense. I wouldn't imagine such a noble organization as the FBI would kill you for evidence.
Only real answer here, it's illegal for the government to cut you open to find evidence of a crime and they'll only wait for you to go to the bathroom if they have a reason to suspect you swallowed it.
They will wait for you to go to the bathroom, just like in airports they will wait with a bucket and watch you do it
Actual question though, if you had to swallow a USB key, wouldn't that be dangerous or even not feasible? What would make it safe, wrapping it in something like a condom?
Get your dog to swallow it.
First, you hide the actual USB off your property. Put it on/in your neighbor’s yard, mailbox, AC unit whatever. Second, you have another encrypted USB that has uncomfortable but not illegal stuff on it such as fetish porn, love letters from an ex, embarrassing fan fiction you’ve written, whatever. You “hide” that somewhere and leave telltale signs. A small amount of drywall dust under the electrical outlet. The screws on the air vent are crooked and loose. Somewhere that they will have to search and think they hit gold when they find it. The encryption will take a while for them to crack, giving you more time to properly hide/dispose of the real USB. NAC
Probably outside the house, or my vagina
Damn, wish I had a vagina to hide stuff in.
I would take one tampon out of the box, remove the tampon from the applicator, insert USB, reseal tampon package and mix it in with the other tampons. Even if they dumped the box, it would all just look like unopened tampons.
Nice try, but there are no women on reddit
Why not between your memory glands?
[удалено]
If I'm a criminal dealing in information then that USB drive only lasts long enough for me to get that information somewhere safe anyway. It wouldn't have made it to my house. It would be stored on an encrypted drive on a secure server overseas from a prepaid card bought in cash by a homeless man 3 hours away from me under the name Bob Oliver Francis Howard. It would have gotten there by a VPN on a secure boot drive from a public access point. The info would be verified, encrypted, reverified, the data would be backed up from there to a different server somewhere else overseas, both servers would then be shut down, then both drives would be shredded and ditched before coming back to my place.
I’m an amateur beekeeper with langstroth beehives in my yard. I would perhaps stash it inside.
Take a chicken cutlet, slice it open, stick the USB inside. Stick the chicken in the freezer.
Okay guys, Simmons has it up on Reddit, Jones has Quora covered and Rodriguez is out making TikToks asking people on the streets
[удалено]
Dad? Is that you?
I'd hide it at my neighbour's place
This one they don’t have a warrant for the neighbors house.
Ex convict here. It would be wrapped in plastic and up my butt. To most people hiding shit in your butt is horrifying. To convicts its just another thursday
Aren't we all hiding shit in our butts?
Wtf...Tell me more
Surely they would search there 😏
I feel like that's the first place they'd look
Disassemble a big enough laptop power adapter casing and refit the case parts afterwards. Bonus points to tape it up tight enough not to rattle.
Hide it in your foreskin they'll never look there
Americans dont have that 😂
You didn't have to cut me off
Id transfer the contents of the USB to a micro SD (most micro SD won't trip metal detectors) and then put scotch tape around it and put it in the bar of soap in my bathtub (this prevents sniffer dogs from finding it.) Lather up the soap to close the hole and place it back in it's spot.
Seat post hole on a bike.
Sweet it on the table where it is in plain sight and cannot be forgotten.
Take the metal cover off of your rangehood, stick the usb in there, then put the cover back.
If it were my actual house I’d just tie it to my cat and let her go out. She’s easily out 12 hours sometimes more but she’ll come home eventually and the feds will be long gone by then.
The opposite. The guy got tipped of he is being raided in 30 minutes and asked Reddit where to hide his child porn
1st thought up youre arse.
Then put the decoys in your ass to throw them off
I got this… I’d pop off the usb case, remove the tiny memory chip from the tiny board then id secure the memory chip to my homing pigeon which is trained to fly to my secret base. That’s where my friend Esteban is waiting. Esteban would take the chip and insert it into his rectum before going to immigration services where he would be promptly deported. This is where it gets interesting…. Once back in Mexico Esteban rebuilds the usb with said memory chip. There’s damning evidence against the FBI on it along with a billion dollars in bitcoin. Knowing I’m no doubt in a holding facility while the house in being ransacked by the FBI Esteban knows exactly what to do. If you want to know the rest of the story I need at least 10 upvotes.
Cops looking for it? I'd leave it plugged into the computer.
Put it in a sealed bag and drop it into the ketchup
The correct answer is in the attic insulation. Can speak from a friends experience, they didn’t check it and definitely should’ve.
30 minutes is enough time for a clever, well equipped person to take a toilet off the floor, pull it outside and route out an opening in the ceramic underneath, put the USB in a bag in the hole and repack it with ceramic putty, then just bolt the toilet back down.
Bury it in my neighbours garden. They've got a search warrant for my house, not his.
Quick, hide it in the drugs!
Carefully unwrap and defrost a boxed frozen dinner. Deconstruct drive to its chip. Insert chip into meal. Replace in packaging. Freeze.
The fbi agents are looking for the top voted comment 😂
Inside one of the appliances. 30 minutes is plenty of time to dismantle a clothes dryer, microwave, dishwasher, etc., stow the USB stick somewhere inside, like in the electronics housing (so electronics-sniffing dogs get a false positive), and then reassemble the appliance. Toss in some clothes/dishes/food and run it just before they show up for good measure, to show the thing is still working and less likely to have been modified.
Considering crime syndicates were using WoW guild chat to organize human trafficking which was circumvented by the CIA targeting them in game.....
If you're in Ontario, Canada, and the OPP are going to be conducting the search, just remove a potlight, stick it up in the ceiling, and replace the potlight.
There isn't any USB in the house lol come on people...the FBI plants them
Upload it all to a Swedish hosting site using fake credentials and then microwave the USB for 15 minutes
As someone who recently had a relative’s home searched by the fbi where they seized all computer technologies (including usb drives) and then having been the person who found the 1 usb they forgot while I cleaned out the house later - the proper answer is ‘plugged into the back of a large television that’s up against a wall.’
Little man, I carried this uncomfortable USB drive up my ass for two years...
How can FBI raid a house "somewhere in the world"?
Sir, are you familiar with the American government?
Americans don't know anywhere else anyway
America is somewhere in the world.
Pretty sure they raided an Australian before, if the country is enough of an US bitch anything can happen
Wrap it in a couple Ziploc bags and stick it in one of the sink traps just remember it's there before you use the sink again. Stick something heavy like a small rock or magnet in it for extra insurance it'll stay put
If you have half an hour you have enough time to hide it somewhere that isn’t your house.
If they are in your house. They know it’s there.
I have a bottle of UV hardening resin and colour pigments. So I'd wrap the stick, put it in a silicone mold and fill it up with colored resin. It hardens in 5 minutes under the UV lamp, then I'd just put it up as decoration or throw it in a messy drawer.
The question is, do I have to be able to get the usb back?
You’ve got 30 minutes— grab a coffee, walk down street and drop in nearest drain. Grab watermelon juice and wander home. Start watching The old man on Disney and wait for the knock.
No matter where you hide it, leave a different USB drive out in plain sight. They will take that one and leave. Then you go find the real one and hide it off your property.
The person who lived in my house before me left due to being convicted of shitloads of child pornography which were found in a spot under the floor boards that he made. Currently I have some furniture on top of it and the only part that you can press to open it is under a rug. I'd probably just use that. It's actually a huge space between the basement and ground floor and it's pitch black, gross, uneven, and overall just a hard place to find a small object like a USB drive.
They gonna use sniffer dogs? Put in a ziploc and then in a jar of chocolate sauce
This answer is easy. In a plastic bag at the bottom of a catbox full of litter and catshit.
I'd have decoy flash drives in odd places. Sugar container, ceiling fan, back of remote etc
It specifies searching the house and not the insides of the owner. So I'd say, some way of swallowing it if it was small enough. Or up the opposite way 🙈
Take apart your shower curtain rod and put it inside. Or put it inside a hollow table leg. Tape it to the underside of the toilet tank lid. Hide it inside the kitty litter box. Inside a box of macaroni. Put it in a snack sized zip lock bag and push it into a jar of peanut butter.
Idk in my cat’s litter box?
Eat it coward
Tie a balloon to it and throw that sucker out the window
dremel out a space in a smoke detector behind the battery
You don’t. Launch that shit into the neighbors yard at specific area, so you’ll know where to search for it.
On top of a truss in basement, little dug out with some puddy over it sp its smooth. Can't even get your head up there to actually see the puddu only your hand and it would just feel like smooth wood all blended. Bonus no dog is sniffing it out
I mean the fbi HAS relied on social media to solve crimes before.