Anyone else a huge raging bitch that’s mad at everyone during early sobriety or is that just me?

  1. I was. I wanted to put my fists through everything. I ran across this article in early sobriety and on days I feel my level head slipping I go back and reread it:

  2. wow I just read that and the ending made me cry. Im not yet sober (trying out sober days for now) but I will bookmark that for when the time comes. thanks for sharing

  3. Wow. Thank you for this. This article made me cry. It felt like reading something I wrote. I really appreciate your response

  4. Superb article. I wasn't aangry, but I was definitely sad. Soppy and frustrated. The first six months of sobriety aren't easy. But they Are the foundation of long term sobriety and recovery.

  5. Thank you so much for sharing this article! So damn relatable. And that suggested album list at the end was just the added bonus I needed right now.

  6. Thank you for sharing that article. Insightful, I'd never even thought about all the repressed thoughts coming to the surface and possibly being a source for my anger. It makes so much sense.

  7. Thanks for sharing this article. “Also, don’t call yourself a dry drunk. If you’ve reached this point in your recovery, you’re no longer a drunk of any kind. You’re a badass straight-edger who wants to put his/her/their fist through shit and make everything bleed. That’s not the alcohol (or lack thereof talking). It’s your younger self bleeding and sobbing in some desolate corner of the Junior High Archipelago. Honor them. Love them. Fight for them.”

  8. " . . . And if you’re the sort of living Buddha who can completely sidestep emotional toxicity, you probably wouldn’t have developed a dependency on booze or some other agent of stupefaction to begin with. . . "

  9. Omg wowww I thought I was a fucking psychopath. I didn't realize this was a thing a lot of people dealt with. I did have a lot of trauma and I knew I had to work through it but I never connected that and all the anger.

  10. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!! The absolute rage I feel when trying to abstain is by far the thing that makes me give in the most so I don’t yell at everyone I love

  11. Always happened to me, especially in weeks 2-3 and then slowly getting better after. Makes sense… alcohol causes your brain to release large amounts of dopamine, a “happy feel-good” chemical. To keep everything in balance, the brain adapts so it becomes less sensitive to dopamine (which is why it takes more and more alcohol to get that same happy feel-good feeling). Then, when you remove the alcohol, your brain has much much less dopamine; meaning you feel the exact opposite of happy, feel-good. It takes time (several weeks) for your brain to adapt and get used to that new dopamine level to keep everything in balance. Keep it up-you’ll get through it.

  12. This interview with the psychiatrist author of Dopamine Nation is fantastic at explaining the dopamine-pain cycle and why abstinence for at least 4 weeks is necessary for repair

  13. You are almost correct. Dopamine is not always present. It's present as a reward for doing something like eating a cake or sex. Serotonin is happy hormone not dopamine Edit: I may be wrong though

  14. 100% yes for me. I didn't get the "pink cloud" and I was pissed at people who did. WTF do you mean you're "grateful to be sober" at day 16?? Not knocking anyone who is, that was just NOT my experience.

  15. I’m in the same boat of being nearly a year in and having zero desire for alcohol. It only promised what sobriety has brought me, and I fucking hate alcohol for that. Also, I like how you said you can be mad as hell for days and be the only one suffering. Too true.

  16. raises hand -- the chemicals in my brain have been all over this time, which is what I have to remind myself when I have cravings, the kindling effect is real, so if I relapse, shit is going to be even worse. i hear you so much on the jaw clenching, I have jaw pain from how much tension I hold onto. i have to force myself to even going for shorts walks. hot showers/baths help me relax. and I even bought some items that help with the knots in my back, which have been helpful. I've had to watch my caffeine hella hard, too. it's all just a really fucked up and pressure-cooker of a time on this Earth right now, as well, and I constantly have to slap my own wrist to click off news and social media. I've shut down a lot of my social media, in fact. Basically: yes--I have this exact same feeling you're describing, if it makes you feel better! and, it gets better with more time. me versus 30-60 days ago is a lot better. keep going, awesome that you can recognize this!!!

  17. Yes, it was about two months for me, and then it gradually faded out. I'm still mad, but not homicidally mad. I'm only slightly exaggerating.

  18. For those responding yes about being stuck with the anger, when did it start fading for you? Signed, someone almost to Day 60 who is sick of feeling angry.

  19. I definitely felt that, but I got over it when I realized it's got nothing to do with that at all. I absolutely could drink, it would just be a terrible idea. The other people in the world also mostly are making a terrible choice when they do too, the absolute best situation for someone is that it doesn't hurt them very much that particular time. Certainly nobody is having their lives improved by it. I want my life to not suck, so I want to be sober, no can't involved anywhere.

  20. I certainly don't enjoy social situations much anymore without the social lubricant. I'm not necessarily angry, but I'm not nearly as friendly or outgoing. Still beats waking up with the crippling anxiety and headaches.

  21. Even worse is when you get to socialize while being drained out, because you're so hungover and can't even drink more, since it won't help you one bit.

  22. Yes. Angry at everything. Feels like shit and my head hurts. On day 4 & I have a family function coming Saturday (long weekend)..

  23. Nah, I've been there too. In the very early days of trying to get clean and sober it felt like everyone was out to get me, and I was so angry at everyone and everything. The littlest thing would set me off. Just wanted to scream and smash stuff.

  24. Yes my anxiety and anger were through the roof. I was apologizing constantly for a couple months for snapping for no reason.

  25. I went through a phase where seeing people drinking or drunk just made me infuriated! It does go away eventually.

  26. Of course you’re mad you’re dealing with the anger and pain that drove you to drink in the first place and your go to move to drink to avoid it is officially off the board. I’d recommend therapy to figure out why you were mad in the first place. Did wonders for me. Keep on keepin’ on.

  27. Spot on, at least on my experience. I was drinking to escape the emotional pain. Living in sobriety compelled me to address WHY I was in pain.

  28. I felt everything. All my emotions were numbed by my drinking and when I quit I realized how much I was actually neglecting my innner most feelings and how good it is to actually embrace my deepest thoughts and dreams.

  29. I’m not angry, no. But I still have to remember to try to be less tense. My jaw clenching comes from anxiety.

  30. Oh yes, same here. Scared I'm going to break a tooth I clench my jaw so much. I am told it gets much better, but man I'm ways in such a pissy mood!

  31. When I drink, I'm fine. I mean, I'm not, but emotionally I'm even-keeled. Very chill. As a sober person, I put things through walls.

  32. I’ve had my bouts but they’re honestly much less often with less intensity sober than when I was drinking. Drunk me was a total C U Next Tuesday when I was upset. My sober bouts are usually more snapping followed by an apology followed by me saying I’m trying.

  33. It was a rough go of it at first for sure. Approaching ten months and I still have little patience but I can't say that's because of sobriety. It's certainly possible, I'm just not sure. I have a lot of other stress in my life so it's hard to pinpoint the cause of it.

  34. I don't recall being an angry person after I decided to stop drinking. I think I was an angrier person before. it all depends on the reasons that led to you stopping drinking and the situation that this happened under. I think if a spouse or partner gave you an ultimatum then you'd feel resentful in the beginning. If you decided to stop of your own volition then you have damn good reasons to stop and you'd find yourself a more peaceful mindset.

  35. Oh, for sure. I had a stream of "fuck you" running through my head at all times. Fuck you person who got to the parking spot before me, fuck you slow bank teller, fuck you husband, fuck you boss, fuck you coworkers. Being around nice people was the absolute worst. I hated them for who they were and I hated myself for hating them. Everything felt unjust. EVERYTHING. It does go away, but the first three months were definitely torture for me.

  36. I found being sober difficult as I stay awake and can't sleep and feel worst in the morning light headed but proud that I didn't drink the night before it would probably be a lot harder if I had someone staying with me those

  37. Your brain has been getting a sedative ( alcohol) regularly. To cope with getting a sedative and so you aren’t asleep all the time the brain adapts however when you remove that daily sedative dose the adaptations means you have an overactive anxious brain. That’s why when withdrawing diazepam is useful to Damo down that overactivity which in sever alcoholics can manifest as seizures. Magnolia bark extract has a compound in it that works similarly to benzodiazepines without dependency issues. I would recommend taking this as you don’t need to suffer and gives you a better chance of success. Wishing you all the best and you should be proud of yourself for getting the monkey off your back

  38. I put a punching bag in my bedroom and in early sobriety I would punch it and scream and fall to the floor sobbing. It’s rough, all the emotions that come up. You’re doing great and you’re not alone.

  39. I read this way to quickly and saw "anyone else take a huge raging shit during early sobriety or is it just me".... And honestly I never agreed with anything more in my life

  40. i really do not remember finding myself in a position of being angry because of my sudden sobriety. i guess i just quit it before it became too bad.

  41. It didn’t happen to me at first but the anger has grown a bit over time. I listened to a good Recovery Happy Hour podcast about it.

  42. of course. You've been betrayed by your best friend, alcohol, and it seems like the world is telling what to do.

  43. That sounds pretty normal. Your brain and body are both adjusting. I know I became incredibly irritable when I got sober, as well as a bit sad/bummed out. I'm beginning to mellow out a little bit now that I'm 55 days in, but it's also a great time for me to start finding other relaxation methods. I'm not going to recommend yoga or meditation because I do neither (although who knows, maybe there's some merit to them) but maybe a bubble bath or even a nice walk might do the trick.

  44. I was angry during the first month but it died down after a while. Alcohol lowers testosterone in men so I just attributed it to that and that my hormones were rebounding. But I have no data to back this up.

  45. Yes. My anger was on a hair trigger from about 3 months until around nine months in. I was very aware of it but just intensely angry and couldn’t break it. I found that it is called recovery for a reason. Best wishes.

  46. Yes and it took anti anxiety to help. I would talk to the doctor about it. They were more than willing to try and find something that worked and it did.

  47. Early Sobriety is really rough and and the insomnia symptom combined with me taking medication for adhd meant that for like a month I slept probably a total of 10 hours a week.

  48. Felt that way…still do sometimes. But it’s nice remembering times that I was angry and/or mean. The anxiety not remembering what I said or did sucked…

  49. Hang in there mate! It gets easier, the first month or two were a struggle for me. I’m 130 days and majority of my days are great! It gets better if you stick to it! Congrats on your sobriety 🤙🏻

  50. Yes and add cannabis withdrawl to make it even worse. But i am making it through today. Was thinking of drinking earlier to take edge of and i didnt. I am going to make it through day 3 no drinking (day 6 no weed.) Thank you for sharing this and helping me.

  51. Yes. ( day 26 here) I’ve coped with the anger with high volumes of desserts and doing whatever the fuck I want as long as it’s not drinking or drugs. I used to be proud of my anger, but it weighs me down as much as my drinking does.

  52. For me I had depression and anxiety. Sometimes those things can manifest as anger. Eventually it dissipated and I feel great. Its about a 2 week thing when you can start feeling much better.

  53. The good thing about those who quit last year around this time, Covid gave a good amount of distance from all other humans. Especially the punchable ones.

  54. Just be kind to yourself - you are doing something huge for yourself. Accept it - don’t punch anyone and you’ll be golden :-)

  55. Damn.. I am on year 4 and this is still me sometimes.. For some reason, I had never even thought about the the emotional things I swept under the rug for decades..

  56. What i learned was, firstly, just because I stopped drinking, did not mean everything was going to be good. As I wanted it. I had to change to fit in with the world. Not expect the rest of the world to change to suit my plans.

  57. My friend is hilarious, he always says the same thing to newcomers, "have you started the steps yet? No? Wow, you must be in SO MUCH PAIN!"

  58. Actually, after 43 years of daily drinking (third quit attempt in 2 years) I am feeling calm and centred. I feel different this time. I am focused on what I am gaining rather than what I am giving up. The other day I wrote out the pros and cons of sobriety. I got to maybe 40 pros in minutes. Some really important around health, right down to not having to spread my purchases across multiple retailers to conceal the volume I consumed (what a total waste of mental effort and time). Oh, in quitting, one thing I am losing is weight :) 7lbs in 11 days.

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