Guys I fixed the world!

  1. Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

  2. Why a dick as big as the Eiffel tower is not as impressive as you may think in Kendrick Lamar's "Backseat Freestyle," Kendrick says the line, "I pray my dick get big as the Eiffel Tower, So I can fuck the world for seventy-two hours". While at first a dick as big as the Eiffel tower may seem to be a dong of immense magnitude, when taking into account the sheer size of earth, the lucky one to be fucked by this dick, we realize that it is not as spectacular as the young MC claims it to be. The Eiffel tower stands at 1063 feet, while the diamater of earth is approximately 41.804 million feet. If Kendrick inserts his Eiffel penis into the earth, his dick would only take up .000025 percent of the earth's vagina. That is pathetic. Kendrick is not fucking the world for 72 hours with his Eiffel tower micropenis. The Earth will get bored after 10 minutes and finish herself with a vibrator the size of Argentina. Be better Kendrick.

  3. Just for good measure from the looks of it. But Russia and Ukraine is still there. So this is obviously someone who isn't up to current events.

  4. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  5. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  6. Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

  7. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  8. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  9. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  10. I’ll have you know that Mao was much better than Xi will ever be. Comparing Mao to Xi in any way is a disgrace to his legacy.

  11. I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch!

  12. It is the motherland no? Certainly in 2022 you can't cancel the birthing parent land. My circuits are shorting just pondering the thought.

  13. the indigineous communities of aboriginals and tasmanias (first nations) plus a history of xenophobia towards SEA says hello

  14. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

  15. You are a fucking Canadian - you are less than human to me. Do you know that I talk about issues in countries all over the world? Do you think I get all their shit right? The thrust of the issue is what matters principally here. You get that, right? The actual political arguments? Go fuck yourself. How entitled do you have to be as a Canadian - "uh the significant political distinctions between my country and theirs actually invalidate any concerns you might have about overreach of government" - shut the fuck up. Do you have any idea how many snivelling, bitch-cuck Canadians I've had in my replies on Twitter who have been screaming and crying that an American dare talk about their country's interests? You don't have a country, okay? You have a fractional portion of a country that is kept alive by your parasitic attachment to my massive behemoth United States of America. Shut the fuck up, alright? You don't deserve to talk about your shit, alright? Jesus fucking Christ. This is the biggest national crisis you've had in decades, and it's truckers on a road? Holy shit. Deal with a 911. Get ten 911's. Oh my God. "Let us handle our own issues" - you've been brought to your knees by a right-wing protest, shut the fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ.

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