Discussion Thread: Borrowed Time, Through Gritted Teeth, Gangrenous

  1. FWIW: I ruminated a little bit on the fetish part and I think that having them be unconscious (and completing their dental service, cleaning up after) has very much to do with Josef's drive to not be found out. He wants to meet his needs without being noticed and certainly without being stopped, so it's imperative for him to maintain a facade of normalcy. I have become acutely paranoid that this DQs me as not featuring a "sadistic" dentist - but if that kind of arguable technicality takes me out, I'll make it my diary's problem. 😅

  2. Thank you so much, it’s such a pleasure knowing someone has read my script and taken the time to give this detailed response and thoughts. I really appreciate it and I can’t wait to incorporate this!

  3. FWIW: Inevitably I defend the voice-over even if it is a little much because I have found that serial killers' accounts of their crimes ARE often a little much. They're full of themselves, self-centered, and convinced that they're the most interesting people on the planet. That's not to say I wasn't huffing my own farts on some of the prose, and the submission draft did have some v.o. deservedly pared down from draft 2.0, so it could possibly get trimmed down further. But ultimately if audiences roll their eyes at Josef in between being horrified by his actions, I dub that A Part Of It.

  4. Thanks very much! I’m excited to make another pass at this story once I collect my feedback and this is great feedback for me! I appreciate you taking time for this, I will definitely implement into my script

  5. Super helpful. I feel like a dolt for not making Ernesto and Jack's relationship more contentious as Ernesto would have more resentment over time for feeling abandoned, etc. I started brainstorming another draft where Jack has things a bit harder in life, so feedback like this is super useful. Thanks!

  6. A glowing review and one of the few times in my creative life I've been encouraged to say more. 😅 THANK YOU so much for your time and endorsement!

  7. I wish that Reddit screenplay challenge scripts had a book jacket, so that I could put "This is a love story... Fuck The Notebook!" on mine! Cheers and thank you so much for your time.

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