My girlfriend wants me to get my deceased wife’s name removed

  1. And he’s supposed to erase the memory of his dead wife, because it’s apparently disrespectful. Even if laser removal was painless and free, asking him to erase the memory of someone important from his life is a jerk move.

  2. Bullshit, dont remove the tattoo it is a part of you past that you love, it is a memorial tattoo now to your now deceased wife. She never had a problem till this friend came around maybe instead of removing the tattoo she should remove that friend from your lives

  3. How is that rude!? Your love passed away and want to remember her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as it was YOUR choice to honor her memory in that way. She didn't care until someone else seemed to, so that right there tells me she doesn't do a lot of thinking for herself. It is more rude to ask that of someone who has lost a partner. Her friend needs to stay in her own fucking lane. You are not obligated to alter your body in any way to make anyone else feel more comfortable. Stay strong brother, and my condolences for your loss.

  4. Uhhhh get rid of the GF instead? She's asking you to go through an incredible amount of physical pain and emotional processing so she can feel more secure against her friends opinions. That's a big no from me. She either loves and respects you as you are, or she goes. She could have suggested cover up, like 'babe, how about having the tattoo covered with a design that honors your past AND present' but no, full erasure? Fuck that??

  5. The fact that she didn’t have an issue with it till her friend told her too makes her a sheep just following along behind her friend. She clearly has no mind of her own and honestly I’d leave before you find out what else the friend can tell her to do.

  6. Exactly. Break up with him / her seems to be the auto response on this sub. I’d be surprised if people ever read more than the title tbh

  7. This exactly. Thats not a friend. It's also pretty pathetic GF has no problem with it until the so-called friend brought it up.

  8. This is ridiculous. You don't have to remove your tattoo just because of what her stupid friend said. Her friend isn't the one dating you. Besides, who gets jealous of someone who is literally DEAD?

  9. In the case of partners it isn't actually unusual. Feeling like that person is someone you can never live up to, that you are just a replacement and they don't and never will see you the way you see them.

  10. I have a memorial tattoo for my partner I lost to brain cancer. It doesn’t have his name but it means a lot for me. If someone asked me to remove it, I’d remove them instead

  11. Do not remove it. Do not cover it. You would regret both. It is not appropriate for anyone to ask another to remove a tattoo. It is part of you and she must accept you as you are- good partners don’t ask you to change or hide the fact that you loved another. Good luck.

  12. I find that a little disrespectful towards you. Your wife has passed and your gf is alive and well, there shouldn’t be an issue here. If I was in that situation I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all. She needs to understand that we all have a past. You had a wife you loved and her name is now a memorial piece of her on you. I hope she doesn’t push it and make you remove it or cover it up, it’ll be like losing that piece of your deceased wife you’re trying to hold on to, to remember her, there’s nothing wrong with that. I hope it works out and she understands where you’re coming from.

  13. Girlfriend goes before the tattoo goes. It’s not like you fell out of love with your wife. You loved her to the end and ostensibly still love her. That kind of thing should never end. Future GFs need to understand that.

  14. Normally I would say this is very unreasonable BUT its on your neck man. Every single time she looks at you she will see your late wives name, that seems like a real big barrier for anyone. You should not do anything you do not but you do have to understand that if you and this girlfriend do not work out there is a real big chance the next one will have similar feelings.

  15. This deserves more upvotes, the amount of people say saying to ditch the gf amazes me. I don’t know many people who would be ok with seeing at a late or ex spouses name every time they look at you(op) especially while being intimate, would be a total mood killer

  16. Yeah I agree with this. I wonder if there’s another way he can honour her? Not removing for the gf in particular, but for future dating in general.

  17. I wouldn't have it removed or have it covered. If you had gotten divorced it would be different. Your wife died and that wasn't your choice. The option to spend your life with your wife was taken from you. I think it's kinda shitty that your new partner is trying to take away your options now.

  18. Agreed. Love doesn’t just go away, memorializing someone significant in your life is not the same as pining for someone else. Life is complicated, death is complicated, grief is complicated…unfortunately that just a part of being a human being and forming new relationships…maybe some couples therapy might help her understand your feelings and validate your relationship?

  19. I would never remove a tattoo of my deceased spouse’s name, if I had one. This person was your wife and she passed away. Like it or not, she’s apart of you. She should accept it. How can she ask you to remove it. The tattoo doesn’t take away from the love you now have for her. I would never do it. Shameful if you ask me.

  20. OP, I’m a pretty jealous person and wouldn’t date someone with an ex wife or gf tat. BUT this isn’t an ex, she’s your late wife. That’s totally different, and I think it’s honestly disgusting of her to even ask this.

  21. Her friend probably got her thinking that other people (who don't matter one damn bit, mind you) will wonder why her partner has another woman's name tattooed and will make up their own sordid stories/reasonings instead of just asking.

  22. If you and your wife had badly divorced, then I could see gettIng it removed (only if YOU wanted to). But you didn’t divorce, she literally died - which to me says that if she hadn’t, you would still be together.

  23. So it sounds like her friend has more of the problem with the tattoo ? Maybe have a talk with your girlfriend about this.

  24. There seem to be some people who don't understand the difference between an ex and a late spouse. Your tattoo isn't disrespectful- it was a sign of undying love for your wife. Your gf and her friend don't seem to understand your late wife isn't someone you chose to part ways with, but a lost love. She has no business dating a widower if she can't be respectful of your past.

  25. Don’t remove it. I’m sorry to hear about your wife passing. It’s not like y’all broke up and she is walking the streets laughing at your girlfriend. If she can’t be empathetic to the situation she needs to be removed.

  26. Don’t remove it. I’m sorry to hear about your wife passing. It’s not like y’all broke up and she is walking the streets laughing at your girlfriend. If she can’t be empathetic to the situation she needs to be removed.

  27. Um, no. That’s your ode to your very loved and late wife. Do not remove it. Your love with your new girl is wholly different and special in its own way. Doesn’t mean you love new girl any less. You will regret it.

  28. Find her friend, slap the fcvk outta that disrespectful bitch and tell her to mind her own motherfcvkin business

  29. That should be your choice and nobody else. She when into the relationship knowing this about you. If she changes he mind and it is a dealbreaker then she can leave

  30. I wouldn’t even consider it and it shows a very gross lack of empathy for her to even consider asking this of you.

  31. Fuck your current gf for having such useless cunts for friends. If she wants to listen, do it far away from you.

  32. I don’t think forcing someone to do something they are ready to do or are uncomfortable with us never a good idea. She met you with the tattoo and when YOU’RE ready, if ever, that’s when YOU will decide what to do.

  33. Her friend is an asshole. Explain why the answer is no to your GF. If she can't accept it that's her problem, not yours.

  34. Double down and get her birth date and death date around the tattoo. How can she be jealous of someone who isn’t even in this world? That’s wild.

  35. Do not under any circumstances have that tattoo removed it is none of your girlfriend's business that tattoo is a part of your history you remove it if you want to not because her girlfriend said so have somebody going to tell you what you can do with your body it works both ways they need to mind their business nobody wants to get painful laser surgery to remove something that they did not want to remove mine you're f****** business

  36. This is why I say I don't think I could ever date a widow, I myself admit I am way too jealous for that, I need to think that I am the only love of someones life. This would bother me, however I of course see both sides, I think it would more so bother me that it's a name on your neck for everyone too see, I would suggest definitely having a serious talk about this; you could always get the name removed off your neck and have not necessarily her name but something else in honor tattooed on a majority covered part of your body.

  37. I dont think removing the tattoo for your wife's friend is the way, nor because she is ashamed of her friend's opinion, but I also want to say that removing the tattoo doesn't tarnish her memory in any way. Most people don't have their late spouse's name on their body and they cherish the past just fine. Here's the thing: it's your tattoo, not your late wife's. It was never hers. If you want to let go of the tattoo, you give up some ink but you keep all of her that is a part of you.

  38. I'd be concerned that your GF is so easily influenced by her "friend". If this is the shape of things to come, your tattoo might be the least of your problems. Don't remove it... it's a part of your history and who you are.

  39. I don’t understand people who are all “that’s disrespectful!” and yet they disregard the disrespect it is to YOU to ask such a thing of you. If she’s jealous of a woman who is dead, what will she think about the women in your life who are living and breathing? Sorry, don’t mean to be crass but the audacity of some people. I’ll never get over it.

  40. I don't think it's disrespectful of your GF that you have a tattoo of someone you love, and who was a huge part of your life for a number of years. But, I have no idea of how you could change your GF's mind about that, or what to do if you can't.

  41. So you're saying she's feeling jealous and insecure of someone who's passed away? That says a lot about her. It's your body, not hers. So you shouldn't have to get that tattoo removed. Your gf needs to work on herself tho, that's for sure.

  42. Fuck that gf's friend. She's the one being disrespectful to your lost. Your gf is also for asking you to remove it.

  43. Frankly, tell her to fuck right off. You don't get to ask someone to remove the name of their deceased ANYONE. I can't believe she'd even ask that.

  44. Can we just remove that friend instead? I would line in the sand this. The memorial stays. If she doesn't like it, she can go.

  45. GF needs to check herself. She’s a GF, not a wife first of all. Second, she’s definitely insecure if she’s harboring a grudge against someone whom isn’t alive to compete with. You are allowed to love them both in different ways

  46. I’m so sorry about the loss of your wife, OP. Unfortunately a lot of women are gonna have a hard time with you having the name of another woman tattooed on your neck, deceased or not. That doesn’t mean you need to remove it, but it may make dating harder for you.

  47. It’s your body and you get to choose how you memorialize your late wife but this isn’t something everyone is going to be comfortable with.

  48. Yeah I think it probably always bothered her but she felt like she could finally say something because someone agreed with her.

  49. Wtf? You are who you in this moment because of your past. Your ink is testimony to your loving, loyal heart. Your current gf is a total brat and sounds terribly immature.

  50. Don't date people who let their friends dictate their relationship decisions. She cares too much about what her friend thinks and too little about your feelings.

  51. It’s not that you didn’t love your wife anymore, she passed away. There was no break up, there was a death. This is a huge red flag for your current girlfriend to feel it’s “disrespectful” is she jealous? That’s insane.

  52. I don’t even have to read the whole thing. No, just no. You DO NOT need to do that and anyone who is unable to respect that should not be part of your life.

  53. Nope. Grief is grief. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pet, a spouse or a child. Your heart had the capacity to grow to accommodate the love for the new people in your life and the old love just sits there and occupies the same space. She can either live with it or move along.

  54. If GF leaves then you have given up a wonderful memory of your wife. Keep the tat, if it's a deal breaker for her better women will come along.

  55. Tell your gf friend to stay out of your relationship. She never mentioned it before her friend said something. Keep that tattoo it’s in remembrance of your wife. She can accept it or not.

  56. If it was an ex I could understand but what she’s asking is completely selfish and ridiculous! If you give in on this I wonder what will be next?

  57. Your GF might not realize how difficult, painful, expensive, and long it takes to get a tattoo laser removed. Not to mention the similar emotional state since she is forcing you to get rid of a memoir of someone you cared a lot about...because her friend said so (eye roll).

  58. Is there another issue going on? Did present GF ask you to ink her name on bicep and that was a big NO on your part. Does your GF want to get married and feels she can’t compete with late wife. Do you introduce her as GF or friend? I dated a widower and he couldn’t introduce me as GF.

  59. I think there are other ways to pay respects to your wife without a neck tattoo. Even if your girlfriend blames her friend for the suggestion, I'll be she does in fact feel insecure about you having another lover's name tattooed on you.

  60. You could visit her grave on her birthday and anniversary of her passing, you could pray for her, you could on once or twice a year write about good memories you have with her, etc.

  61. Yeah I love all these “f the girlfriend” comments from men, like they’d be more than ok staring at some other guy’s name tattooed on their girlfriends neck during sex or first thing in the morning or every single time they looked at her. A memorial tattoo is one thing, someone’s name on one of the most visible parts of your body is quite another.

  62. I could STILL get my late partner’s name tattooed on my and my spouse would be supportive. Find a new girlfriend who understands deep love and that some people always have a place in your heart.

  63. I have my husbands name on my hip and he has mine on his arm. I know I know everyone told us it was a bad idea lol. We’ve been together for 19 years and I still love him as much as I did the first year. If something ever happened to him god forbid there’s nothing on this earth that could convince me to remove it

  64. let me be perfectly clear - It is possible to both love and honor your late wife and love and honor your current girlfriend. It is not a competition. It is not a zero sum game where any sign of affection for one takes away from another. If your girlfriend is so shallow that she would let a friend push her to give you an ultimatum like that, she doesn't understand and doesn't respect you as a complete person. I think you should have a direct and honest conversation with her and see if she understands. If she doesn't, she never will.

  65. On one hand, I can understand the hesitancy of your GF and her friend in you keeping the tattoo: its the name of another woman that you loved very deeply, and to her it makes it feel like you care more about the deceased rather than her by your side at the moment

  66. I can't imagine what I'd do if my partner died. I can't say one way or the other if I would date again afterwards, but one thing for sure is that I would not consider erasing him from my life as if he never existed and anyone who demanded that would be an ex pretty god damn fast. What's next for your girlfriend if you do remove the tattoo? Delete or throw away every single photo of your late wife?

  67. That is dumb, that she wants you to remove it. Obviously, your deceased wife can't be a threat to your current girlfriend. And removing it is a painful and arduous process, and you probably won't get it entirely removed so it will just look ugly.

  68. Imagine being jealous of someone who no longer exists. No, don't remove that tattoo. It's a wonderful remembrance of a strong love.

  69. It's a memorial to someone you loved. If it was your sister's or daughter's name would your gf want it removed? The only reason you are with your GF is because your wife is dead. That's a truth she needs to accept.

  70. Don’t remove this. Have a conversation with your gf. This person was significant in your life and even though they are not here in person, spiritually they are. I would also imagine they would be hurt if you removed it. If it was me, I’d keep it

  71. Don’t get the tattoo removed. If you wore a necklace with your deceased wife’s name on everyday I’d probably say yeah maybe put it in a. Draw or something. But a tattoo that would be painful and expensive to remove? Dont do it

  72. Don’t get rid of the tattoo your current girlfriend was ok with it before her friends chimed in. That is a 🚩 her friends will dictate the rest of your relationship?

  73. Your girlfriend is insecure about a woman who is dead. Brother, this isn't going to end with the tattoo being removed but will continue until everything you've owned with your deceased wife, every picture and any mutual friend of your wife and you are removed from your life. Nip this in the bud now by having your girlfriend deal with her insecurities (perhaps counseling) or remove the girlfriend.

  74. She's suddenly putting pressure on you and threatened by it because her friend pointed out that she should be, sounds like a real keeper.

  75. Don’t get it removed, there’s no need for your girlfriend to be jealous and insecure about someone who has passed away. Tell her no and thats that. HARD NO. Keep an eye on that friend, sounds like they like to put stuff in your girlfriends head

  76. You know bad friends can ruin a relationship. Happens all the time. If your GF is letting them sway her when it comes to the relationship, you have some problems coming down the road.

  77. Keep the tattoo and find a girlfriend that is ok with it. Nothing against your current gf because a lot of people wouldn’t want to be reminded of being a consolation prize but there will be someone out there that is ok with it. If you remove it you’ll have to live with the guilt of that forever

  78. It’s not like y’all got divorced, you lost a loved one. She may be to immature to realize that that live will always exist whether with her or any other woman. If she’s that wrapped up in what her friends have to say, then she is probably not the one. You could always add her birthday and day she departed if you’re willing to do that, but I don’t think removal because of her friends is a viable option. It’s very selfish of her to ask since she’s been ok with it until her friend got in her ear.

  79. Your wife was a big part of your life and you loved her. There is nothing wrong with that. Unless you were comparing your new gf to her or constantly talking about your ex wife (I think it’s okay to talk about but if you hadn’t healed-which I know you never truly heal from that you just learn a new normal) then I don’t think it’s even appropriate for her to ask. I think it would be disrespectful to ask you to remove it.

  80. I don’t understand how people get jealous of a loved ones late wife or husband. She’s not your ex. You didn’t break up or get divorced. She’s still your wife even if she passed away. A new girlfriend should respect that relationship and want to know about her because she’ll always be a part of you. If this girlfriend can’t accept that then I don’t think she’s the right person to be with a widower.

  81. The wife's friend sounds like she hasn't experienced this kind of loss. When people are so far removed from other people's pain, they say stuff they don't really mean because they don't get it. Now this seed has been planted in your wife's mind, you should stand up for yourself and tell her it's not being removed because it's part of your life. You are not living in the past you just have a memorial tattoo. If she can't move past it then that's on her but it's part of your body that she was ok with for so long.

  82. I have a memorial tattoo for my partner I lost to brain cancer. It doesn’t have his name but it means a lot for me. If someone asked me to remove it, I’d remove them instead

  83. It would be disrespectful to ask you to remove it. You would most likely still be with your wife had she not passed. The tattoo was there before your girlfriend and she has known about it all along. You have a past and she needs to respect it. Honestly if your girlfriend is in on this conversation with her friends and not shutting them down, it kinda says a lot about her. Are there any other "red flags" you are sweeping under the rug about her?

  84. I can just see the conversation in heaven. You meet your dead wife there, and she asks how long it took for you to wipe her memory away. ,"Oh, some girl who's friends with a girlfriend of mine said I have to remove it" Wife "That's how much my memory means to you?"

  85. Yeah, I guess I’m older now and don’t have time for BS. GF would have to be cool with it, get gone or get new friends. I went through something similar. I got a severe injury and was going through a rough depression. The similarity is that my wife (yes, wife) started listening to her “friend” who convinced her she deserved better than a man who couldn’t take care of himself. She talked my wife into seeing someone else behind my back and almost broke up my marriage. We a separated before my wife even realized she was being manipulated by a “friend” that couldn’t keep a stable relationship for more than a month and just wanted a running buddy.

  86. You should respect your wife more, who is no longer in a position to demand anything from you, she is maybe happy that u have her name because u were her only true love. Don't let anyone disrespect your wife, not ur current gf not ur parents not your children. Ur wife had only you, remember that shit. Love someone else is imp too for life. But respect the ones who only had you.

  87. Having the tattoo removed won't change anything meaningfully -- it won't make you not have been married, it won't make that relationship less important, it won't make you cherish the memory of your late wife any less.

  88. If you and your wife had badly divorced, then I could see gettIng it removed (only if YOU wanted to). But you didn’t divorce, she literally died - which to me says that if she hadn’t, you would still be together.

  89. There’s nothing anyone can say to you friend! This is your life and journey! To each their own! I feel she shouldn’t take a piece of you away! She’s prob jealous and you already said u din treat ur ex right anyway! I’m gonna assume she feels a certain way and needs attention otherwise she wouldn’t be feeling this way. A friends comment isn’t going to dictate one’s mindset! She was already feelin it! Her friend just took the hit n broke the ice for her! That’s not disrespectful in any way so that’s where I smelt the bullshit! Unless u kept talkn bout ur ex wife or rub’n it in her face? There’s other things involved here I’m sure….if there’s nothing else involved then that’s red flags..she assumed she could replace her and so she wants her name tatted or to feel more important than a dead person..sometimes cray people need that extra mile from their partner 🤷‍♀️ these things can never be explained n no one can judge unless they been through it! I know cuz I have been in healthy relationships n toxic ones and u can def feel n see a diff! Unfortunately I’m attracted to toxic for some reason and I have displayed some behavior myself which can be scary! I find that I’m better alone SADLY! OR I just meet wrong ones.

  90. Don’t do it. Your late wife was a part of your life that can’t be erased. What’s next? Is she going to ask you to remove the old memories from your brain?

  91. It’s not disrespectful. If she’s threatened by someone who isn’t with us anymore then idk what’s going on in her head. Plus, why do you have to suffer both physically and emotionally by removing your tattoo just because of some friend’s opinion? Don’t remove it, she’s the one who was to deal with it, not you.

  92. Find a new gf who will respect your right to hold the memory of your wife for as long as, and however, you choose.

  93. I’m really sorry to hear about your late wife. But imo, Having that tattoo of your late wife isn’t disrespectful, it holds a memory of a lost love one. And your gf and her friend should respect that and it’s not any real problem having it. It’s a painful and expensive procedure to get it removed. If you don’t want it removed cause it’s a precious memory of your past, please keep it. Another suggestion I would have depending how big her name is on your neck, maybe have it tattooed of something she liked/loved then it wouldn’t be her name but something she enjoyed which can still be a meaning of her. Either way it’s your body too.

  94. Nah.. It's not like you broke up with this woman and she's hanging around like ha ha he's got my name tattooed. This woman was special to you and passed away. Your girlfriend is a jealous idiot and swayed far too easily by her friends opinion, that's what I'd be most concerned about. If she's doing it for a tattoo what is she going to be like for other things like raising kids or financial decisions.

  95. If it was a tattoo with the name of an ex, I would understand and agree. But in this specific situation, I think the disrespectful one is her, not you.

  96. Tell your gf to kick rocks. There's no reason you can't have a tribute tattoo for someone special in your life. What happened before you met her, is none of her business.

  97. I think that if this girlfriend really cared about you, she would care about the memories that you cherish and the time that you spent with your wife. It's ok to love both of these people. But her inability to look past her emotions and to consider you is a huge red flag. She should never have even considered asking you to do something so ludicrously unfair. Especially considering that she IS NOT your wife. And if she were, then she should still never ask you to remove that tattoo. That was a choice you made and that needs to be respected for this relationship to work. If she's not ok with that then you should seriously reconsider this relationship as you will be faced with many unfair decisions in the future.

  98. Fuck man, it's always their friends whispering in their ears that create problems where none exist, sowing doubt in their mind with fuckin bullshit pseudo psycho relationship analysis ("if he does this it means he blah blah blah")

  99. Your girlfriend has no right to demand you remove any tattoo, especially since she was fine with it until her friend said it was disrespectful. If your girlfriend is so weak that she cannot stand her ground for what she believes in, in the face of her friends, you may want to keep that in consideration when thinking about staying with her long term.

  100. Just imagine removing a tattoo for someone you aren’t even married to lol just think if you had a animal or a kid with your wife would the friend view them disrespectful and tell your gf to get rid of them?

  101. I don’t think you should get it removed, your wife wasn’t just your wife but she was also your best friend and there’s nothing wrong for having her name on you to remember her, if you’re girlfriend loves you just as much as you love her then she should understand why it’s important and has no right to ask you to remove it. If she doesn’t understand that well too bad then maybe you should rethink the relationship bc it’s prett selfish of her to even ask you to do something like that.

  102. You don’t just stop loving someone because they have passed away. And your GF should appreciate that if something were to happen you wouldn’t just erase her from your life either.

  103. None of her friend's business, it didn't bother GF at all until this friend put a bug in her ear. No do not get the tattoo removed, it's your thing to honor your deceased wife. This is not an ex-wife this is your wife that passed away while you were married. if your girlfriend cannot deal with that then I guess she's not your girlfriend anymore. No one should be jealous of somebody who died. Unless you talk about her constantly and carry on about things that you used to do with your wife then you would need therapy but if that is not the case and it doesn't sound like it is then the friend can stuff it and the girlfriend can deal with it.

  104. She’s part of your past and you love her. If your gf is that insecure she might need to talk to someone about it, not try to force you to remove a tattoo in someone’s honor that you love.

  105. Do YOU like the tattoo? Cause imo that’s all that matters. This woman was in your life for a long time and died very young. This new gf should feel empathy towards you and comfort in knowing she’s with someone who loves deeply. If her friend is going to cause shit and she allows it, then she should kick rocks.

  106. her insecurities are showing .. over someone who’s passed away .. they were apart of your past … do not remove it … she needs to understand or move on..

  107. I personally don't see the reason for being jealous of a deceased spouses name on you. She was in your life for a major portion of it. It holds value to you. Just because your new partners friend doesn't like it doesn't mean you should get rid of it. It's completely unnecessary.

  108. You need to explain to her that the tattoo is a symbol of your deceased wife's significance in your life. Removing the tattoo will not change that. If she has a problem with the fact that your deceased wife still means something to you, that's what the conversation needs to be about.

  109. Disrespectful? Do you know what's disrespectful, disregarding your feelings and your past, simultaneously. Your late wife clearly means a lot to you, and anyone who cares for you ought to know that, even without the neck tattoo.

  110. That’s horrible do not get it removed. It’s not like it’s your ex wife who is still alive. You wife sadly passed away. She should not be jealous. It shows how uncaring she is.

  111. If she's that psycho and unhinged over a tattoo what makes you think she wouldn't drug you and skin your neck off??

  112. I’d say that if having loved someone else, way before you met your now GF is “disrespectful”, then maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. Just because the mark of that love is physical in your case, doesn’t change that it’s a part of you that your gf is asking you to remove and pretend didn’t happen, just for her social image.

  113. Her friend needs to mind her own business and stay out of it. Your girlfriend had no problem with it and frankly shouldn't have any issue with it. It's a memorial at this point. If she's so easily swayed into insecurity by her friend then your relationship is doomed already

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