i really dislike horny guys

  1. Yeah it sucks. I work with old men and the amount of times they sexualize the secretary or someone’s ex or whatever. One time an old dude was ranting about how someone made a sexual joke about his daughter in front of him, and I was like « well aren’t you a hypocrite ». His eyes were fucking mortal. I told him he shouldn’t be surprised that men treat his daughter the same way he treats other women openly. He normalized it everyday, he doesn’t get to be angry about it.

  2. A similar situation happened to me once. I was 18 and working as a waitress where I was nothing but a show and a piece of meat for the regulars (was once offered a 20 cent tip to take of my shirt). There was this older man who always bragged about the vile sexual things he would do to me and repeatedly tried to touch me without my consent. A few months in he realized we are actually related which stopped all his comments. He was shocked that all of his friends continued talking to me in the same manner all the while he had been the leader of the group harassing me for months.

  3. You won’t change their mindsets from intervention but you will let them know that it’s not ok with you. Many men are afraid to do it, which is why it keeps happening in all-male spaces. I’m not gonna call you a bad person or a coward or anything, but god damn if men had just a little more balls to stand up to their own male friends, shit would be different.

  4. This past weekend I went out with a work friend. This friend is hot, we flirt and get along well and I was planning on sleeping with him if he was interested. This is the first time we've hung out outside of work.

  5. So relatable. And I'm (as a female) left so hopeless when I feel this way. I even ick when my boyfriend is horny sometimes and I feel guilty for it. Oh and also, let him know:D let him know he could have fucked you but he fucked it up. Idk I think he deserves to know that it was his problem not yours. Make him feel extra bad for that behaviour. I think I'm petty. Ok sorry.

  6. One of my (30F) dear guy friends (33M) tends to do this. Not as extreme as what you mention your friends do, but he’s married to his college sweetheart with two daughters, yet he often sexualizes women he encounters. It makes me so uncomfortable. It’s not healthy for anyone.

  7. My boss at my last job did this. He would make a comment about pretty much every single woman he saw. He is also married with kids and is my neighbor. It could just be work talk, but it's still weird to me. He's a nice guy. He just can't control his impulses I guess.

  8. Im always nervous I’m doing this when talking to someone I find attractive. Thankfully I learned pretty early on in my dating career it’s not appropriate, but I always notice any double entendres or such and get a bit worried

  9. I was talking to a potential date a long time ago. He was talking about a massage he got from a young looking Asian women, “Looked like she was 14!” I stopped him and said, I don’t want to know anymore and left the phone conversation. I asked my therapist what in me makes men want to say lewd comments. Because it happens too much! She said, and it blew my mind, they are creating a life to impress you. They are just pitiful and only know how to get a reaction this way. Hoping you will be impressed?? I now know, when I hear men talk this way, shut it down. They do not have anything else inside to make them of value. Move on. Work environments are usually more difficult. I also add, I was a cocktail waitress for 10 years and got treated better there nightly almost as if I was to be protected than on my own.

  10. Yep. As others have said, I also REALLY relate to this. I also have trauma stemming from sexual harassment/abuse, so like you, I’m attracted to men, but the idea of being around a sexually aroused man makes me super uncomfortable/sick. It really bothers me that I have that guy reaction, but I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  11. Oversexulization from men has truly destroyed any capacity for solid friendships and relationships for them. It completely dismantles and disrespects romance and love.

  12. Do you even want a relationship with a man anymore? I’ve given up on the idea completely because I cannot trust men and I’m bisexual anyway.

  13. Solid friendships or relationships?? I couldn’t even be friends with women in my past because they either like me or think I like them. I’m not trying to bar them from my life either. Don’t apply assumptions on everyone.

  14. Many men don't see women as anything other than objects and property. This is a symptom of that. It's quite disgusting and unfortunate. Just try to avoid the bad apples and focus on people that respect u.

  15. And this right here is why I’m still single. I get grossed out even when they start sending the kissy face emoji or the tongue out emoji trying flirt when I don’t even know them like that. Like go away little nasty person. Ugh.

  16. I read this comment and thought "how bad can it be", but alas. It's bad. It's really bad. "Its just natural" and "we're just different"- no you're not, you're disgusting and participating in gross behavior that is extremely dehumanizing

  17. I (19M) have over the years stopped making friendships with guys because most conversations were about girls and anything related to it.

  18. this exactly. i (19enby) had two male friends in high school, one day at lunch they showed their collections of nudes. apparently they also send each other every nude they would receive. i was absolutely appalled. i called them out on it but they just couldn’t see why any of it was wrong.

  19. Its true that a lot of men date women to show off. And I have noticed that a lot of women like it too when the men show them off. Thats so gross.

  20. Reading the comments as a 14m it’s disgusting. I can even keep my dick in my pants and have friends I don’t even have 1% sexual interest too. There are ofcourse people that I find hot but that’s something else. Is it the old generation maybe? Idk. Some guys at my school are like the men in the comments but a lot of them aren’t so I’m disappointed. Maybe it’s just the Reddit males😃

  21. I hope you don’t change in that aspect! When I was in middle school, I was so sad when all my guy friends started sexyalizing me and other girls, and then they stopped wanting to be my friend, and things around 6th/7th grade got split in a very gendered manner. I was always the type that preferred to hang out with guys but then when puberty hit, I was no longer a friend, but a sexual object, and it was “time for me to go hang out with girls now”. I bet you have friends who are girls who really appreciate you!

  22. please never change man :) ur gonna grow up to be an amazing person! im a seinor in hs and the guys are total asses😭 we need more young men to be like you!

  23. As a once young girl who was influenced really negatively by the 14 year old boys around her, I just wanna say that I really appreciate you commenting on this post to call out the gross comments of grown men. By the time I was 13 the boys around me were treating me like an object, and telling me what my obligation to them was. You really give me hope for a new generation. Thank you for your service 🫡

  24. If I had a dollar for every male colleague/coworker or professor/supervisor who made sexual comments about literally any woman (let’s include the underage ones here 😤) I’d be close to paying off my student loans.

  25. They really don't understand how violating it is to just think sexually of people they don't even fucking know. It's just so weird.

  26. Some men are truly disgusting and this comes from a girl who is quite sexual. I had a colleague once that while working with him he was very nice and polite and I thought we had become good friends. We were never flirting and I had never implied any sexual/romantic advance to him, yet as soon as he got my insta, the very first thing he dm-ed me that he was obsessed with my boobs🤦🏻‍♀️ Guys will just fuck anything with a hole and then think we should actually be flattered when we hear the disgusting stuff they spill out their mouth unsolicited??

  27. This!!! I was so sure I’d remain single for a long time exactly because of this, I found an overwhelming majority of men I encountered/went out with disgusting because of how they saw sex. They’d have their instagram full of naked women, brag about watching porn, be pushy to have sex and not care about pleasuring well, me. Honestly the social media full of sexualised images is a red flag to me, makes me think they need to be looking at that sort of stuff throughout the day, it’s desensitising them to sexuality, I can’t think how it’s enjoyable. Thankfully on a stroke of luck I met my partner who has a much more compatible way of experiencing sexuality to mine, we’re horny for each other, but it feels completely different.

  28. You don’t need to blame your trauma for this. I do not have trauma to blame and feel the exact same way. It’s downright disgusting. I am at a point where I flat out call men out for it.

  29. I relate to this SO MUCH. You are not alone and I think this is completely normal. You’re not disgusted by “horny men”, you’re disgusted by the oppression and degradation towards women they openly do without shame.

  30. As a guy I really think porn has ruined how we view women and as a guy were stupid and simple minded when it comes to sex

  31. I came in here to give you some words of encouragement, that there's men out there that aren't sleazy, were raised right, all that.

  32. This is so true. I’ve lost count of the times this has happened to me and plenty of other women around me. I remember hearing at my college job that the guys there used to rate the female coworkers on how hot they were and had to name a physical feature that justified their rating 🙄🙄🙄

  33. 36F here. It doesnt get better as you get older. Spouse will say loudly (or shout out) boobs/penis whenever they see someone naked on tv, or cleavage, or to just get attention. Breasts are not funny. Penises are not funny. They are body parts.

  34. This is why I don't envy you women. You guys have alot of shit to deal with guys these days are just creepy. Then they wonder why women treat them with so much disrespect. Just so you know not all guys are like this, but the majority of them are. Sexual energy can be very powerful and make people do crazy things of not controlled.

  35. I totally agree with you. Unfortunately it doesn’t get any better with age, men are truly repulsive to me at this point. I can’t understand what is wrong with them, it’s just gross and sad

  36. This is one of the reasons I’ve become more attracted to queer guys over the years. Of course everyone is different, but I’ve noticed a pattern that when guys are open to being sexual with other men (gay, bi, queer, etc), they get to see what we put up with and seem to become much more sympathetic to what women go through. My enby partner is just as distrustful and fed up with cis men as I am, and I’ve never had to fend off aggressive or unwanted advances from him. He’s kind and caring, didn’t learn how to fuck from porn, and while we both love sex and find each other hot, we understand there’s way more to relationships than that.

  37. Omg this entire comment section is a mood. To every single woman who has shared her story: I see you<3 I love you<3 you deserve to heal and you're not alone.

  38. I relate to you so much. I have always been weirded and grossed out by male people saying to me in public "that woman with xy is hot as fuck and damn that ass". "I'd smash"

  39. I’m sorry that these comments are probably only enforcing these feelings you’re having. And I wish I had more advice, because I’m also experiencing this. 25F and I’m starting to find men’s arousal genuinely gross. Starting to see it as almost…. Aggression. And I think you’re right, I think our history with SA/ harassment/ abuse has enforced these ideas. And they’re not helpful to us, are they? They’re negative feelings that make us feel bad. As women, especially women who had to experience the Tr*mp presidency, we’ve developed a healthy fear of men. And fear is a very powerful emotion, I think that over time our fear is evolving inside and our perception of men has just changed. For me personally, I’ve started viewing every single man I come across as a threat. Not “oh, that guy could be dangerous because he looks creepy” literally every single man I know is capable of harming me and that most have already hurt someone else. I’d like to not feel this way, but I don’t know how not to.

  40. I've been sexualised since a kid and SA and because of that I'm so traumatised and I can't think about sex without being disgusted. Every time a guy makes a sexual move I freeze and then run cause I can't do it. I don't want to meet guys anymore because all they want is sex and it's discouraging. I told one my story and he said he understood but still made a move and kinda expected me to have sex with him when I told him that I couldn't do it because I wasn't ready.

  41. mine is a little different situation than yours i think but i feel similar. all the men i’ve met recently have been on dating apps and i’ve noticed i’m wary from the start. not even an hour into the conversation, they’ll bring up something about sex. i am immediately repulsed. but i try to stick with it for whatever reason, steer the conversation away, then talk to them for weeks, months, etc. i am never truly comfortable with them again and i end up ghosting or cutting ties. when i’ve talked with women, i am more comfortable and can talk about sexual things if it comes up. same with non-binary people and trans men (i am non-binary trans masc so my guard tends to be lowered around those similar to me). my heart, or maybe it’s just my brain, wants a boyfriend. i think about men more than women romantically and sexually, even tho i’m attracted to both. but i am always afraid. i’m always uncomfortable. i feel i need to scrub my skin clean and peel it off after a conversation

  42. I've commented twice and I cannot say often enough how much I appreciate this right now. You're all making me feel so understood. Thank you fellow females. It feels so good. I also hate it when men are aroused.

  43. As a man myself, I apologize for these comments here. You are right and I fully support you OP. Normalize healthy and friendly relationships, conversations without it going directly sexual and gross.

  44. It’s good you’re trying to change. But you weren’t disgusting, or gross. It’s hard to avoid sexual thoughts when it’s everywhere you look in the media, it can be hard to fight

  45. Just letting you know that you were not a "bword" cause a bunch of rude guys expected you to be something other than who you are. You do you, and eventually some good ones will pop into your life, but the majority of us are kinda shit.

  46. this is very small on the vast scale of disgusting things i’ve witnessed men do and/or say but seeing young girls/attractive women walk into my job and all the old men just eye rape them is so disheartening, especially when it’s high schoolers to college aged girls. Like she could literally be your daughter. How animalistic and pathetic can you be? They repulse me every single day. It’s like sex/sexualizing girls and women is the only thing in life that means anything to them. It’s quite pathetic.

  47. As a guy, I totally agree and I feel the same way, porn and places to be horny is one thing, but sexualising random people? That's just ew, you wouldn't believe it but in high school no female teacher survived them mfs in my class, old, young, attractive, unattractive, fat, thin, even male teachers sometimes!

  48. Sigh. As a 21M I guess I'll have to raise my voice after seeing the oversexed toddlers act like males were born, driven by some primal instinct to reproduce

  49. I’ve never gotten “horny” from seeing someone in public; I’ve found people attractive, and maybe done a double take (and that goes for anyone because I’m pansexual haha). It’s normal to “sexualize” people to an extent, but don’t be rude, don’t stare, have an understanding of basic social cues, don’t hit on someone who is working, who looks busy, etc. Don’t think just because someone is hot, and they’re chatting with you, that that means they are dtf. It’s wild how people can’t compartmentalize.

  50. I definitely don't think it's trauma in this case - not negating that your experiences have undoubtedly been traumatising, just that the behaviour you're describing is objectively shitty, not just shitty when seen through the lens of trauma. Men should not be telling you their sexual fantasies about strangers, attempting to grope you during conversation, or spamming people with porn they never asked for. They're not 'horny', they're predatory and misogynistic. (& tbh if someone's like 'that's just how men are' then all the men you are referring to are predatory & misogynistic.)

  51. Men think they’re so cool when they’re coomers but women find it revolting. They’re going to make themselves go extinct at this rate acting like disgusting pigs. Just look at Reddit and all the illegally taken photos of women and underage girls on here. It says a lot about the true nature of men, especially men that act like this.

  52. i feel and have gone through almost exactly the same things as you and personally? it’s gotten to the point that whenever a man that is not an immediate family member interacts with me no matter what their intention is i feel fear. fear.

  53. Men are pigs. Water is also wet. But really I’m a 28 yo male and growing up, most guys just objectify women and don’t know how to talk about anything besides sports and maybe video games, two things that never entertained me as someone who grew up as the only male at home. They would ask why I’m friends with good looking girls and not f*cking them. They would then get jealous and just salty toward me because I wasn’t what they thought a guy should be but I was doing better than them through conversation and interests, etc. I never really got along with guys because of this besides a few friends.

  54. Had a similar experience in high school. Had like real normal friendships with attractive girls but to my male friends they didn’t understand it. Some would ask if we had sex yet like multiple times. Kinda crazy how a regular friendship with the opposite sex is a foreign concept to some guys. Like every girl is an opportunity…

  55. Gosh damn! It’s men like them who give men like me a bad look/name. Yes, I’m an extremely horny guy and have thoughts/urges very frequently, but that doesn’t mean I act on them. I got extreme self control. I’m 28M, never had a girlfriend yet, never dated, never had my first kiss yet, still a v🥺 but that doesn’t mean I’m desperate. I wanna give myself, my pure heart and my all to the one girl who will reciprocate the same back to me. I could’ve lost my virginity years ago if I wanted to, but I just don’t wanna settle for my happiness🤷🏻‍♂️ as a virgin, I want one back. I wanna be a girl’s first choice as she’ll also be mine.

  56. Very fair. I applauded you foe being able to admit that your still that way. Maybe you need to start putting yourself out there more.

  57. Sounds legit. Advice from my side: Learn to accept your urge. It's a part of yourself, and only if you allow yourself to consciously control it you're able to healthily stand over it because this urge doesn't vanish by ignorance, it just gets more uncontrollable. Good luck reaching your goals!

  58. They aren’t men. Real men show respect. We respect boundaries. We pay bills. We protect. We expect nothing in return. Every human whether male or female deserves their boundaries respected. Gender matters not. I will buy drinks for my male friends and I will buy drinks for a girl. I will protect my male friends and I will protect a girl. Us real men know that we can be intimidating therefore we let the woman make the advances if that is what she desires.

  59. It’s a result of sex driven media and hook up culture. Sex is just more accessible, and it’s led to an instant gratification cycle. Sorry you’ve been surrounded by shitty guys, I would find new friends.

  60. That can certainly play a part, but look at what's happening in places like Iran, India, and Japan. Even in sexually conservative societies, where women dress modestly or cover damn near everything, they still get harassed/assaulted/murdered.

  61. It's not though. Long before the internet, social media and hook up culture was a thing, men were sexualizing women to the highest degree. It spans back so far. It all connects to how boys are taught.

  62. This. Men are only going to behave in a manner that’s a direct correlation of their environment. I don’t have a girlfriend and haven’t been with a woman intimately in years simply because sex isn’t something I crave. Most people are just slaves to society’s paradigm.

  63. Well, that's just simply not true, we understand if a man finds us attractive or hot it's an almost unvoluntary thought that occurs in their minds. We are talking about the men that can't have a friendship with a female because all they can think about is sex, we are talking about the men that don't even know us and are already sexualizing us, looking with no type of decency, or cat calling or commenting about our body to our face, it happens, we are talking about that, and if due to experiencing all of this since we are basically children makes us feel sick everytime or almost everytime a man has a sexual thought about us, then so be it, we have the right to be upset.

  64. I'm horny like anyone else but even when I work with others guys and they make comments about women that come into the restaurant I tend to stay quiet because it's different when I look at hentai or porn but srsly I keep it at that.

  65. In my case, my hypersexuality is a symptom of BPD stemming from severe emotional neglect for most of my childhood and adolescence. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I try my best to resist those feelings. Even still, I struggle quite a bit and I don’t think it’s fair to shame me for a mental health problem that I never asked for and that no one would even know about unless I told them.

  66. Thing is she only knows these guys think these thoughts because they are telling her, which you're not. It's one thing to think someone is hot, it's another to make comments, post about it on the public Internet where your friends can see it, etc.

  67. I don't think you're the one she's targeting, because even some women suffer of hypersexuality. The only difference is that they don't shove it into people's faces and are respectful. I hope you're doing alright and getting the help you need, stay safe <3.

  68. Yeah, no, fuck all the way off. Do not try to use BPD to excuse this. I promise you, people can tell. You’re not as good at concealing those thoughts as you think you are. Trust me, I know. I have BPD myself, just not the symptom of hypersexuality.

  69. appreciate the “advice” but what u described does not compare to sexual assault, and unfortunately my current “partner” is the reason these feelings of disgust have solidified, if anything their actions have further proven it

  70. You said "guys", which means you must hate all men, so I'm obligated to come here and say it's actually your fault you feel this way. /s

  71. Damn this makes me think of a "joke" I told a colleague (girl) like a week ago ( we work in my former professor's genetics lab) and how terrible i feel about it. I forgot how the conversation got steered towards this but she was talking about how there was porn on Twitter which I didn't know about (I don't use Twitter) and I idiotically said "well looks like i got some research to do on twitter"(was trying to be funny). I've been cringing at that ever since.

  72. As a man, I try to keep those thoughts to myself because I know most of the time most people don’t want to hear them. Coincidentally Reddit is where I come to express said thoughts.

  73. it’s an annoyance of mine too, as a guy. i feel ashamed when i sexualize without thinking of the person… their emotions, thoughts, interests, wants. it could be a traumatic experience definitely but it’s also highly reasonable

  74. I am thinking you ladies need to hang out with a better class of men. I couldn't imagine doing or saying some of the things you have experienced.

  75. I'm lucky my guy friends never talk badly or objectively of women (im very much "one of the bros") like we chat about everything but they just aren't that interested in sexual interactions. Compared to other guys i know who tell me that a girl/boy friendship is impossible. That does disgust me.

  76. You're right. Its 95% at least that are not respectful. I only found a decent guy after refusing to even speak to anyone who acted like they were trying to date/ fuck me. We texted for a few months and he made no advances but has treated me better than even my own parents. We're engaged now My point being just keep an eye out for particularly humanizing individuals who have skills, dreams, and arent in competition with the world.

  77. I’m a gay man and in my experience majority of men sexualise disgusting stuff when horny, it’s like there’s no boundaries for them, it scares me

  78. bro really said "everything I've ever done in my life ever is for female attention and that's obviously the way every man ever is too also I am so lonely and intellectually malnourished" but with way more words

  79. I don’t think the men here are normalizing anything but as a 21m this is how just how men are. Every male friend group I’ve ever had and of all races have always spent a large amount of time talking about women, rating them, asking who would they rather fuck, who’s the hottest at work, school etc.

  80. It's probably a hormone thing, idk if you're referring to guys in high school or early 20s like myself, but I used to be completely under the control of hormones because of puberty. Back then, I had a serious uncontrollable drive/desire to just see things and pleasure myself, I would use all the apps, kik, snapchat, etc. It also ruined any relationship that I had because again I had no control of myself, sometimes I felt like a whole different person. I never went out in public and hit on random girls though, everything I did was online. To this day, I still have all the social apps and whatnot, but I'm completely grown out of that phase, and now I'm the opposite, when I talk to any girl or woman online, I'm pretty much never horny or in the mood to do anything with it, but when they happen to be in the mood, I can't seem to be interested, it's always bad timing. Some women are like a little mouse though, I learned it the hard way and once nearly got a harassment charge against me, literally for trying to have a normal conversation. Today I'm 21, and I'm glad to have grown out of that hormone phase, and not all guys are horny animals. Don't let the bad apples represent all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin