Beautiful Bomb: In Defense of “The 13th Warrior”

  1. I loved it in the moment and my esteem for it has only grown. It is either the last good John McTiernan movie (he did Rollerball, Basic and jail after it) or it was the movie where the wheels fell off (it apparently had to undergo serious reshoots which were done- uncredited- by Michael Crichton).

  2. "Back to the beginning. Lo they do call to me. They bid me take my place among them. In the halls of Valhalla. Where the brave, may live, forever."

  3. “…back to the beginning. Lo there do they call to me. They bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the dead may live forever.”

  4. That is good you do, because the reason Crichton wrote the book the movie is based on, The Eaters of the Dead, is because Crichton made a bet with someone that he could write Beowulf in a way that was entertaining to modern audiences.

  5. Little cheesy, but good cheese - the final battle when they recite the speech together before the hordes gunning toward them.

  6. I love that movie. Used to watch all the time as a kid. I was actually very surprised when I grew up and learned the movie flopped.

  7. I agree. There are many examples of foreign languages transitioning to English for the viewer, but I always think this film does that transition perfectly.

  8. It was and still is, for me, anyways, simply the best depiction of how one actually learns a foreign language (albeit in compressed timeline). He starts distinguishing parts of words, the some words, then some sentences and so on. Such an underrated movie moment...

  9. My EverQuest character for literally 10 years of my life was named after the leader of the norsemen. It wasn’t until like 3 years ago I saw that it was supposed to be Beowulf and I had butchered the spelling of what I heard which was Bulvai. No wonder the name was still available

  10. Lo there do I see my father. Lo there do I see my mother and my sisters and my brothers. Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo, they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them, in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live...forever.

  11. When I bought my first DVD player, the two movies I bought with it were The Matrix and The Thirteenth Warrior (although damnit I still wish they had used the book's title, "Eaters of the Dead"). I absolutely love this movie. So many fantastic Vikings, and Antonio Banderas, it was just a treat. I still probably have half of the dialog memorized.

  12. I thought it was great. So much fun and if you dont take it seriously, its awesome. It held up over time too. Thats what i love about practical effects. The only thing, I laughed my ass off that so many ppl thought the viking funeral prayer was real.

  13. There's a lot to like in The 13th Warrior but McTiernan films it like it's just another generic Hollywood action movie; like he's making another Die Hard. The story needs nuance, slower pacing, and epic-style storytelling for it to work, and it doesn't work.

  14. A huge favorite. The Michael Crichton book sucks; the movie is brilliant. Wonderful dialogue; I can always watch this with pleasure.

  15. I really don't understand why people hate that movie. It is just so entertaining and fun to watch like a good movie should be.

  16. I thought it was ok. I'd give it a 7/10. I remember watching it for the first time as a young teenager and thinking it was awesome. Don't get why it cops so much hate.

  17. It was based on a michael Crichton book and was expected to be the next Jurassic Park just was over hyped and didn't live up to the hype.

  18. One of my all time favorites. My high school teacher had us watch it because we were reading Beowulf at the time. I actually own a copy on VHS and on iTunes.

  19. I discovered this movie when I played the game Rune around 2003. Rune got me hooked on all things viking/Norse and I instantly started seeking viking themed stories and the 13th Warrior was one of the first things I sought. I don’t remember if I read the book or saw the movie first, but it’s been one of my top 5 favorite films ever since.

  20. Yeah, no thanks. Lovely production design on the village, and some nice grungy violence and outdoors cinematography.

  21. Story had big holes, but as far as a sword swinging action movie centered around a dish out of water with a small band, I’d say it was pretty great.

  22. I find it fascinating how if someone says they don't like a film they get downvoted to shit, there isn't even a discussion, just a circlejerk

  23. I liked it when I was younger but I remember thinking that scene where he just stays up all night and listens to learn how to speak their language was absolute bullshit.

  24. He was an interpreter, so lots of language experience. And they made a point of him having to listen to days or weeks t “get it”. Not one night.

  25. I think the time frame is over the entire time it takes for them to get to where they are going, which could have been months depending on where they started and ended up. Regardless it was bullshit lol.

  26. I watch it all the time, It's one of my favorites! There are so many great lines-"your head has gone looking for your hand" Awesome!

  27. One of my high school English teachers showed us this film when we were covering Beowulf, and I remember enjoying it. I think back on it similarly to The Last Samurai in the sense that both movies are not about their respective star actors but whom they are party to as the audience surrogate.

  28. I’ve seen this move dozens upon dozens of times and have it on dvd to show the kids. My favorite line is when they are getting off the boat.

  29. Ty & That Guy podcast (The Expanse) recently talked about it quite a bit, as part of their "great last stands" theme.

  30. That movie is fucking sick. I always wanted to make a D&D rendition of it for my friends that have no idea

  31. I love this movie! I found a big editing flaw at the end. When the king of the eaters of the dead, rides up on his horse and swings his weapon above his head you can see the jansport backpack strap and the plastic buckle on it they use to hold on his outfit :)

  32. I saw this in the theater and thoroughly enjoyed it. The only cringe part was the bad overlay of the wendol Calvary charging towards the town and the end “Good bye Arab!”

  33. I love the part where Antonio Banderas turns a broadsword into a scimitar with just a grindstone.

  34. I remember deciding to see this last minute. Had to go alone as it was the last showing of the day. I got to the theater, grabbed somes nacks and walked in on the scene in the boat at the beginning during the storm. Even in that last showing, the seats were packed.

  35. Love this movie. The part where becomes fluent in Norse by listening to them around a campfire for an hour is ridiculous, but I actually really appreciate them going to the trouble. Today was a GOOD day!

  36. Man on fire, tears of the sun, 13th warrior, if I’m channel surfing and come across one of those movies, I’m stopping and watching it.

  37. “Deception is the point! Any fool can calculate strength. That one has been doing it since we arrived. Now he has to calculate what he can't see.”

  38. “Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee, God, for forgiveness.”

  39. Idk if it's been discussed here yet, but I know that there is suppose to exist an entirely different cut of the movie that's suppose to be so much better. The original trailer also titled it as Eaters of the Dead...but due to studio meddling and the likes, they cut a shit ton of content.

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