I refuse to pick up my 34 M fiance's dirty socks after telling him earlier this week it annoys me when he leaves his shoes and socks in the middle of the floor

  1. Thank you! The thread is "mildly infuriating" which is what these socks are. Mildly infuriating. I actually did leave for about a week last year and I asked for couples counseling which he agreed to, then backed out of. He won't go to counseling with me, or on his own.

  2. I'm a SAHM with a 20 month old son and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I kicked them out of my way so I could vacuum today. I don't ask his help with chores because housework and childcare is literally all I do. But I will not follow him around and pick up after him.

  3. Bah, why should he have to conform to your standards? Maybe he don't care? Not really his problem. He'll get to it in his due time.

  4. You have a two year old AND you’re pregnant and he can’t even pick up his god damn socks? You might as well have a third child, jfc.

  5. Pretty much. I've talked to my parents about leaving and fixing up my old childhood home that they still own so I have somewhere to live with my babies. Believe it or not, there are bigger problems than this grown adult treating me like the maid.

  6. How irritating that a grown man can’t pick up after himself but as you have noted in the comments this is but one of several challenges.

  7. I plan on taking both dogs with me, we also have a boxer. He won't even get up in enough time before work to take them out potty before leaving.

  8. I once had a live in g/f whose home lifestyle was drastically different than mine. Laundry basket by the door? Nope. Got to have fucking clothes 4 feet thick in the damn floor. Dishes in the sink? Yeah, they’ll wash themselves. Bathroom towels magically dry themselves crumpled up on the wet bathroom floor.

  9. The comments are acting like she’s saying this is evil. Bruh the sub is MILDLY infuriating. How is this not exactly what this sub is meant for?

  10. Read the book ‘this is how your marriage ends’. Written by a guy who acted like this, lost his wife and freely admits she’s better off with her new husband and that he lost out big time. You have a chance to mould the life you want for you and your children. It can and should be so much easier than this. Good luck x

  11. Staying for the kids and getting married for the financial benefit (and so they could all have the same last name) was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

  12. We've been together 4 years, living together for 3.5 years. This wasn't much of an issue until we had our son and it's been getting progressively worse.

  13. Once you put your kid to bed I would try having a serious conversation about your future together. It sounds like you’re going through much more than socks on the floor. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. You both have to have time for yourselves and time together as a family. Also it’s super crucial to have alone time together without the kids. You both need to understand each other’s jobs and work as a team. If he’s unwilling to do that and put in the effort, maybe it’s time to move on.

  14. I've been trying to tackle one issue at a time with him. I seem to get better results discussing one thing at a time versus laying out all my grievances and hoping he'll retain it. If he's unwilling to compromise then I just hope we can copparent peacefully

  15. My partner does the same. If I explicitly ask her to clean up, she will, otherwise it’s me tossing the socks into the laundry bin everyday. I rate it as just a minor annoyance (perfect for this sub), I choose my battles and this is one I can live with, but will probably never understand.

  16. Be forward and address it now. Before that festers in you for the rest of your relationship. Could you imagine 20 years of marriage and still kicking them out of the way to vacuum?

  17. Honestly I find this more than mildly infuriating. I dated and lived with a woman like this for a while. Constantly leaving things everywhere, making food and leaving dishes/crumbs everywhere. Honestly not sure if she was just lazy or knew I’d pick it up because i hate mess.

  18. At least somebody else gets it. The number of commentors telling me it's no big deal and I'm entitled to want him to pick up after himself is appalling. Like, it's not just the socks. There are some extremely infuriating things he does. This is just one of the mildly infuriating things, hence this sub

  19. I get that it's mildly infuriating as my gf of 8 years does the same thing. I literally tell our daughter in front of her, to pick up her shoes and socks and put them away and she gets mad at me for even that because as she says, it doesn't matter. So we just have to pick our battles. I love her enough to know she won't change and hasn't for 8 years. And annoying her into doing something isn't going to go my way so I'm better off leaving them, or picking it up myself and not letting it bother me as much.

  20. My dad is this way. Still after 30+ years of marriage he leaves his clothes on the floor for my mom to pick them up and do the laundry. Not only that he made her pick up after him, he also taught us, his children to throw our clothes on the floor.

  21. It's pretty easy to stuff used socks into your shoes AS you take them off and set them inconspicuously off to the side where no one will trip over them. Get past being 14 please.

  22. You do know he has most likely been doing this for years and his brain is doing it now without him really knowing he is doing it. It’s going to take time for him to adjust. If this is how you communicate for socks on the floor you are in trouble for anything bigger. Don’t get married for a while until you learn. Or find a good divorce lawyer in advance smh the internet is not your therapist or your spouse

  23. My husband did this when we first moved in together. I just stopped washing his clothing. I told him “if it’s not in the hamper you must not want it to be washed. You’re grown and I am not your mother or your maid. I will not clean up after you like this.”

  24. I promise you that you will, one day, break up. There is zero chance of it working. If he is a messy person he will never change. My mum and dad havre been married for 52 years. He has pretty much the same flaws as he did when they met, my mum does too. The thing is, they both can live with the others worst traits. But if you cannot deal with it now it ain’t gonna feel better when you have thrown away a years wages on a wedding and he not understanding of how you are only sleeping 2 hours a night cos the kids are keeping you up.

  25. So you've been together since you were 19 and he was almost 30. Super gross. He clearly has no desire to watch the kid so you can get some alone time. Calls your son a dumbass. Yells at you in public places.

  26. I was 20 when we met, but basically yes. I want to give him time to correct the behavior, I've talked with him about the things that need to change, like the way he speaks to and around our son. If he's not willing to make the necessary changes I have an exit plan and housing available. My worry is with any unsupervised time with our kids or split custody I will not be able to make sure he's not being verbally abusive and with our children being so young they won't be able to tell me.

  27. You know what, I'm going to be the adult in the situation here. If a pair of socks is a hill to die on go for it. You get to stay at home with the kids, we get to miss all that shit because we go to work all day and come home to get bitched at about a pair of socks. I'm willing to bet you've passive aggressived him to the point he no longer gives a shit because whatever he does isn't good enough. I get so sick of seeing this shit where guys work to support their families and get shit on for it.

  28. You quite obviously haven’t read any of the other comments OP has made. Dude cusses at their TWO yr old, lays around doing nothing, she’s currently pregnant with complications, and he’s being a jerk and not even trying to help her. This was also posted in mildly infuriating, and yeah that’s a mildly infuriating thing. But he’s making her life harder with zero concern for her and unborn baby’s health. He’s a jerk and if you can’t see that, then you’re exactly like him.

  29. You know what I'm sick of, doing 100% of the childcare and housework, to be ignored for a Playstation 5 and 3 nights a week bowling. I'm sick of asking an adult to please put his socks in the hamper so when I wash and fold and put away his laundry, I don't have to also pick up his sweaty socks or shit streaked boxers. If you read any of my previous comments, the socks are not the issue. The issue is feeling unappreciated and like my time is being taken advantage of by somebody that no long sees me as an equal but as a maid.

  30. Male, married 27 years here. I think you need to ask yourself two key questions; a) Why are you getting mad over such a little thing, just pick them up. I am sure that he does things to help you out and b) If he doesn't do anything to help out and he is a slob and this is bothering you so much before you're even married why on earth would you marry this man?

  31. He doesn't help and I don't ask. I've asked for help before unloading the dishwasher, putting his dinner dishes in the sink, putting away a load of laundry that's already been folded and my requests are ignored. I've asked him before to pick up his socks and yet there are more socks in the floor. The wedding is indefinitely postponed until he either makes more of an effort or decides this relationship is not worth the effort. I really don't ask for much, and I happily take on the domestic work as part of being a stay at home parent. I would just like for him to respect the time and energy I spend keeping a clean house and by making sure his dirty laundry makes its way to the hamper.

  32. She was offended I asked her to move. Our other dog wasn't in the shot but I guarantee he would have given me the same look

  33. After reading comments, I've confirmed OP is a disgruntled stay at home mom. If you two make enough money off his salary to stay home, then perhaps you should consider a nanny. Everyone is different. Kinda sad to see you've had one child with him, another on the way but you're this is your outlook.

  34. We don't make enough for a nanny, when I have brought up getting a job outside the home he gets very upset, that's actually what our last major fight was about.

  35. I get that's this is upsetting but for the dogs sake pick up the fucking socks. I lost my first dog due to a sock that got stuck in her after she ate it. 2 surgeries and 11k later she still died at 3 years old. Maybe your dog knows better, but is it worth the risk for a sock?

  36. Neither of our dogs go for socks. If they posed a hazard of course I would pick them up, that's why when i find his cigarettes in arms reach ofnour toddler I put them up and remind him to keep them out of reach

  37. I’d ask him again - maybe he forgot? Also, it seems to bother your pup as much as it does you! I’ve gathered that you have children - is your fiancé their father and that’s why you stay? No one is perfect, but if you have problems and he won’t go to counseling, I’d recommend not going through with the marriage. You both deserve to be happy. I’m on my second marriage and this is my wife’s third. My first wife and I went to counseling and resolved our issues but ultimately we decided we were better off apart. My wife and I are very happy and we always do our best to communicate how we’re feeling. I do this with my socks or outfit sometimes after a long day and when I realize, I pick them up because it would annoy my wife as well. So how many times has he walked by them and not picked them up? Good luck with whatever you decide.

  38. Yes, he is their father. Of course we have other issues, and while I hope we can salvage our relationship I know that isn't always the case. He's been parked on the couch all evening and they are right in front of him. He stepped on them when he went to lay on the couch after getting home from work. I genuinely do try talking to him about it but he usually blows it off

  39. Your kid is watching you stay In a shitty marriage. You're teaching your kid it's okay for them to have a shitty partner. It'd be pretty shitty of you not to try and change what your child is watching.

  40. If his father isn't willing to work on his behavior or put forth more of an effort my kid is going to watch me be a kick ass single mom

  41. That's a huge fucking stretch. OP said she told him earlier this week that it bothered her, and that's the extent of the information given. If the fiance has been in the habit of throwing the socks down for a good while, regardless of what anyone thinks of that habit, then give him a minute to break the habit.

  42. I feel your pain!, mine throws his over the kitchen chairs sometimes . He will do it while talking to me then he clicks it and brings them to the hamper 😅

  43. Leaving socks is the equivalent to marking territory. It shows where the person feels the most comfortable. Not an excuse more of an explanation.

  44. You’re picking up stuff anyway. Just pick up his socks in 3 seconds instead of taking the time to post this. I’m sure he does kind things for you.

  45. My friend's husband used to leave his clothes on the floor and would never put his clothes in the laundry basket. One day she finally had enoughhr she told him if the clothes are not in the laundry basket they will not get washed.He left his clothes on the floor again and she did the laundry and she didn't wash them and of course he got mad but from then on he put his laundry in the basket.

  46. I've stopped explaining my frustrations with my partner because he just does the shit I tell him about 300% more. Lololol

  47. I tell my husband if it's not in the hamper it doesn't get wash, and I stick to it. If my 5 yr old daughter can put her dirty clothes away so can he

  48. Try this. Imagine that they have stopped leaving them there. Don’t say anything for the next ten times you see them on the floor. If you are passing. Pick them up, but don’t say or think a word. Keep believing they put them away by themselves. I bet you don’t get to ten.

  49. I’ve had this issue in the past. It still recurs from time to time. I also don’t like socks in the middle of the room, that annoys me but just leaving them isn’t an option because it re-angers me every time I see them. I have told him I will wash clothes that go in the hamper. I put them beside the hamper, and I don’t wash them. When he comments “I don’t have any socks” I just shrug then he goes and does a load of socks. Mystery solved.

  50. Just find something that really annoys him and do it constantly. And then you can have a clearing conversation. And maybe he will understand you better that it really annoys you.

  51. Is your fiance very fond of the dog? If so you may have a way to appeal to him to at least pick up his socks. I'm a veterinarian and have had to remove items like socks from the intestines of dogs on more than a few occasions. Very expensive and long uncertain recovery as well. Hope all goes well with your efforts.

  52. I'll admit it's not all steak and blowjobs, but I put up with so much and ask for so little. Direct quote from him "you never ask for anything so I'll let you decorate for Halloween and Christmas this year instead of choosing between the two."

  53. Actually I do work, I provide childcare for a family member. This issue isn't just socks, it's the disrespect for my time and efforts even after nicely asking a grown man to put his dirty clothes in the hamper

  54. I do pick my battles. I don't nag about his socks. I asked him once, nicely, to please make sure his socks found their way to the hamper. The result is 2 pairs of dirty socks sitting in the living room floor. And he's not my husband. I welcome him to leave if that's what he wants, but at the end of the day there won't be anybody to do his laundry and dishes or cook his dinner and makes sure his bills are paid on time

  55. Wow 2022 people posting private problems online like we care, miss please just talk to him or leave him i dont know you posting this wont do anything to fix your small problem, pick it up and say thank god his not cheating gambiling or 100 different worst things that can happen and grow up you will become his wife dirty socks is not something to get mad AND AS his wife put some house rule so he SHOULD THROW SOCK AROUND ITS ANNOYING

  56. I've tried, but honestly like you said, who cares? Like why comment at all? It's obviously not directed toward you. The subreddit is mildly infuriating, and that's what these socks are. They're not some huge deal breaker, the are an annoyance.

  57. If an intruder came in the house and decided to attack you, would your fiance fight to the death to protect you? If the answer is no then carry but if the answer is yes, pick up that sock and zip it lady.

  58. If he was here, who knows? I doubt it, though. He would rather live in a neighborhood where gunshots are heard almost nightly so he can have a 5 minute drive to work, then live in a FREE, completely paid off house in a safe neighborhood and drive 30 minutes to work

  59. Never. We were planning an October 2020 wedding, but with a miscarriage, pandemic and my pregnancy with my son all falling in 2020 it was postponed. He's already been married and divorced so he was in no rush to get married because "it's just a piece of paper." For reference I'll be 25 later this month and having a wedding, even a small one was really important to me. After he spouted off that b.s. I've decided to save myself the money of a divorce :)

  60. Pffffft. This is nothing. My gf leaves socks, pants, shoes, bags, makeup, and all sorts lying on the floor. Stop being petty and just pick the bloody socks up.

  61. OP, please stop making your life and his miserable. Regardless pf his problems, the demeaning way in which you discuss about him as if he were total trash says more about you than about him. You’re about to marry a human which you seem to hate and cannot stand. Maybe he is irresponsible and needs to mature, but there’s no way that maturity will come put of distaste and hate. It’s not a healthy home for you, much less for the kids. All I would ask is for you to at least not to try and later abuse your partner through abusive / excessive child pensions.

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