Anyone else feel like your therapist/social worker literally doesn’t listen to what you say?

  1. I think sometimes she's looking to fit me into patterns she has seen before that may not always be accurate to my situation, feelings, or needs.

  2. Yeah it’s that paint by numbers approach that they all seem to use now…fuck they might as well just say ‘try to look on the brightside!🤗’ FML 🤦‍♂️

  3. Not my current therapist, but I have had those that do this in the past. The most infuriating was a newbie therapist that ended up being more of a weird emotional "cheerleader" than an actual therapist. She kept saying how "strong" I was for "overcoming so much trauma" or "defeating negative mental patterns" when I was sitting in her chair literal DAYS after yet another failed suicide attempt. Like no shit, Sherlock! I know I'm fucking strong. The problem is that I am completely exhausted from having to be so damn "strong" every single hour of every single day! I'm not here for you to invalidate my struggle! I'm here for you to give me tools and insight so that I'm not mentally jousting with my demons 24/7 - 365 instead of actually living my life.

  4. Yeah, I need a therapist who will actually listen and respond to what I’m saying and not just list off different coping mechanisms from the CBT workbook. It’s so fucking annoying when they invalidate the struggle as if it’s something that we can just will away with positive thinking 😤😤

  5. It sounds like they don't really know when to apply what technique and go for a one-size-fits-all approach.

  6. It sounds like you’ve found the ideal therapist…I would love that, to have my turmoil actually validated and understood and not just dismissed as ‘negative thinking’ And that ‘one size fits all’ approach needs to be wiped off the slate for all mental health professionals, they (should) know better than to assume we all have the exact same struggle that can be aided in the exact same way 😓😓

  7. Had one social worker ask me fresh out of inpatient if I said I had suicidal thoughts bc my husband wasn’t paying enough attention to me. Then said, oh are you the overdose? No, and no. I was in psychosis, and usually just say no to the suicidal thoughts question no matter what cause I don’t want to get involuntarily committed. Getting care is a huge struggle, but worth it.

  8. I actually said yes to the suicidal thoughts question and she just kept on going through the motions..infuriating…it is such a struggle to get efficient care…we’re just case file numbers to these people 😞

  9. It sounds like this might be countered with, “Yes I know. But that’s a diagnoses. What kind of THERAPY would a THERAPIST such as yourself recommend to one in THERAPY to help one with the diagnoses one was given by a person with more letters both at the end and the beginning of their name than you.”

  10. Ugh, RIGHT?!? Like what the actual fuck address the issues I’m telling you about instead of giving me a worksheet to complete before our next session…wtf is a worksheet gonna do besides give me another overwhelming task to completed 😖

  11. Yeah I may try that…she kept interrupting me which was so fucking annoying like isn’t their primary job to listen to us and then give the constructive feedback?

  12. I’m a social worker/therapist with mental illnesses (diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ocd) and I feel your frustrations. It’s more than okay to find a new therapist. I like being open with my clients about having diagnoses and taking meds for them, bc spewing info from a book vs. actual lived experience is different. I want people to know that I do understand these things. Finding a compatible therapist is like dating imo, you gotta experiment before you find the right fit.

  13. Mine does that too, but she’s a nice lady just trying to do her job so I kinda just go with it, and immediately dismiss it when I step out of her office. I really just need her so I can apply for maid next year

  14. I had this awful therapist who my mom would make me see a few years ago and she would tell her a bunch of crap about me and then turn her against me and no matter what I told my therapist about how it wasn't true, she wouldn't believe me and then every session would just become an hour of them bashing on me and telling me I'm "oppositional defiant" and "lack empathy" and trash like that which is not true at all just cuz she didn't like me or want to believe me cuz it was a combination of her being a middle-aged mean girl and my mom telling her garbage. My mom also ruined another therapist for me too who I was really getting along with the few times I saw her, I miss one appointment, she goes in, says the usual crap, and then tells me this new therapist now thinks I'm awful and she's not gonna bring me anymore.

  15. I had the same experience when I was younger…I was sent to therapy as a punishment and this dude would tell my mom everything I talked to him was awful

  16. I had a psychiatrist last year who I thought didn’t believe I was having hallucinations and hearing voices but as I was feeling pretty paranoid anyway I wasn’t sure if it was my illness making me think that. Anyway I confided in my partner how I was feeling and he decided to come to my next appointment. Afterwards he totally could see where I was coming from and I stopped seeing him from that day. Still have mental illness and nobody gives a shit…still waiting nearly a year later for therapy 🙄 Mental health services here in the Uk are abysmal.

  17. They’re just as abysmal over here on the other side of the pond unfortunately…like what are we supposed to do while waiting for a therapist who will actually listen?

  18. This is all any of them really do now in a way. It’s all self help workbooks and nonsense. Mine lately is always on the “accept your limitations” train. It’s like she doesn’t want me to do any better.

  19. Yes exactly! It’s so infuriating…they literally don’t listen to what you say and just roll off different exercises from the DBT workbook…no shade to people who use that and it works for them but worksheets and bullshit like that just makes me feel worse. I think every therapist and counselor should be required to read The Bell Jar and Catcher in the Rye so they can understand that actual subjective experience of dealing with a mental illness. And I also get the frustration with the ‘go put yourself out there and make some friends 😃’ approach, as if that’s something that anyone with a SPMI can just go out and do 😓😓 There’s so much that is still unknown about mental illness, but I think the therapy focus should be on listening to the individuals experience and trying to understand and help them work from within, instead of worksheets or blank stares followed by generic responses

  20. I mean, it sounds like they're saying it's all in your head basically and it is. Your feelings are your own, and you are capable of controlling that to an extent. We just get so lost in it that people don't believe that. but it's true. That's why there are textbook mental disorders they can diagnose and it's not a case by case basis of unique custom made disorders based on experience. Overall its the same functions of the brain regardless of the person and circumstances.

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