What we have here is a misunderstanding. When people like myself say "I hate small talk", it's just a polite way of saying "I really don't give a fuck about anything about you and I have no desire to go through the exhausting act of pretending otherwise. I don't care about you, I don't care what your job is or what kind of day you're having, I don't want to see photos of your gremlin child/grandchild or discuss meteorological issues with you, i will never see or speak to you again and this exchange is utterly meaningless. I just want to stand here in line before exchanging money for a coffee, then drive home to avoid face-to-face interaction with my coworkers by working remotely"
Free will may or may not exist, but it’s probably not an important question to answer. We live as if we have free will and our actions usually assume that we are responsible for our actions.
"Small talk" with people you love is funny cause you can be ironic and they will understand it and have as many innapropriate jokes as you want. Even make funny stories about small talk with other people
Small talk can lead to big talk, though. I've had some really interesting conversations with strangers, but we couldn't have had them without that foundation of 'how are you, wasn't it windy yesterday?'
I only hate small talk when all the other person is trying to do is fill the silence, like, if you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything! The silence isn’t dangerous
I come from a family where silence means your parents are mad at you and plotting how to make life hell, so silence genuinely feels dangerous to me. I’ve gotten better about it since my boyfriend is a quiet person, but those first few years were agonizing. Now that I’m used to it, whenever I visit my parents and get quiet for a bit, they think I’m mad lol full circle
Took me forever to realize my problem with silence comes down to being a people pleaser (which, if you caught that, yes that is counter-intuitive.) It's the feeling that the silence might be making them uncomfortable, and the idea of their discomfort makes me way more uncomfortable, so I strive to fill the silence so they don't feel like they have to. Even though I'm just actively projecting discomfort on them.
I feel like its a great sign in a relationship when you can genuinely be comfortable with silence in the room between you and another person. You don’t need to say anything, you just genuinely enjoy being with that person.
If I'm making small talk I'm usually fishing for an interesting topic and dropping hints about things to ask me about. Small talk stays small when people don't put the effort in.
This is what I consider small talk to be, not repetitive conversations or questions. Talking about the weather is only small talk if you’re mentioning it because you don’t have anything to say. Same with asking how you are or how your day was. It’s small talk if the person asking doesn’t care or is doing it out of politeness, it’s just talking if you want the answer.
yea and usually when I'm talking to people in a relationship ether friends or family, i got sth to say. its not always logical but usually say stuff to entertain, where as small talk with Randoms is usually so boring cos you don't get each other.
You marry someone else who hates small talk and you spend your days in each others company enjoying just that, their company. 10 years in and has worked great for us.
Yes! Companionable silence is my love language. I’m comfortable sitting next to my wife while I game on something or work and she “watches” trash like 90 day fiancé but really is on her phone next to me. Being able to enjoy doing what you want NEXT to someone doing something they want instead doing something WITH someone that only one of you wants is more often than not the best option.
This is my dream. A lot of people think I don’t want to be with them because I never really interact when I’m with them, but really I just enjoy being in the company of the people I love, I don’t need more than that
This exactly. My husband might have a sliver more patience for small talk than I do, but both of us dislike it pretty strongly. Also the hypothetical situation in the post is absolutely the kind of shit we might find ourselves saying to each other, lol. I blurt out random existential ponderings all the time, no build-up needed, though occasionally I'll share my thought process leading to it for entertainment. (ADHD thought-tracks are a special sort, so if my brain makes me go "WTF brain?!" I like to share.)
It's very comforting to hear that. I'm still young, and sometimes my despair grows as I feel pressure to be small talk-ish. I suppose that taking my time to choose carefully is very important. I like silence, or not talking. Playing music. I don't know. I just enjoy those little things. I feel trapped into the expectations of my parents, of society, of my peers.
I remember after high school for 2 or 3 years me and 3 other dudes just sat in a garage after work and listened to music. We talked sometimes but there was a whole lot of spacing out in silence for hours on end.
I actually like learning what people do for work. There's usually something interesting you can learn. I've also been told I have a tendency to "interview" people, so maybe I ask too specific of questions.
Silence is awesome, just being able to be comfortable in silence with another person, while you both do different things. People who aren't comfortable with silence are quite annoying.
People who aren't comfortable with silence often have a health condition, though. I'm socially anxious and my brain has learnt silence= people don't like me. Even though logically, I know that's not true, anxiety makes your doubts feel very real.
When you know the person, updating on your day isn't small talk. Small talk is when you have to make some kind of surface level conversation with someone you don't know.
Free will IS a myth. Religion IS a joke. However I’m not sure that we are controlled by something greater. That’s just looking for an explanation where there is none. Reality is “just one damned thing after another.”
I don't consider that small talk tho. Small talk to me is like "How's the weather?" or "How was your weekend?" with someone who doesn't really care about it. Talking about stuff you are both genuinely interested in is just having a conversation.
This person just doesn't know what small talk is. Small talk is not just any conversation that isn't deep. It's pointless blather like with coworkers or strangers in an elevator or in the break room. Usually about the weather or what stupid shows you watched over the weekend to fill the void in your life. Small talk is also marked by one or both parties no actually caring about the conversation. You can talk about the weather with someone you love without it being small talk, it might have actually impacted your day somehow.
I'm actually really into weather, so weather isn't actually small talk to me. But unfortunately it is to other people, and apparently they don't care to hear about updrafts and convection currents. So no, I don't actually have any meaningful relationships in my life. Thanks for asking.
It's a bid odd she assumes that you can't have a meaningful relationship without small talk...if anything most small-talk relationships I've had were at church, with people who were fake and couldn't care less about my life or interests.
I dislike small talk when talking to people I don’t know. When it’s someone I am comfortable being with then I could accidentally ramble on about something they don’t give a crap about.
There's complete difference between forced small talk at work, or intrusions by strangers, and small talk with people you love. Also, it's totally possible to find someone you love, and you're both comfortable in silence.
There are plenty of things that aren't obnoxious when it comes to those you care about. Small talk with strangers vs small talk with someone you enjoy interacting with feel and are insanely different.
Small talk is a verbal handshake and also you’re basically asking „do you want to talk to me?“ if the reply is very short like „yes.“ or something they don’t want to talk, if they answer „yes. It’s a wonderful day. Perfect for climbing.“ you know they want to talk.
I hate small talk as in mundane formulaic chat that neither of us particularly invested in, like talking about the bad weather with a stranger in the dentist waiting room
Perhaps they mean that they hate conversations that are limited to small talk by the participants lack of depth and inability to engage in meaningful dialogue. Small talk isn’t so much a conversation that starts with exchanging basic pleasantries and discussing mundane things such as the weather, but rather, never being able to shift the dialogue past that.
My bet is that a person from that Tweet would be surprised to learn that there's world outside of the state she is living in, and they are, in fact, quite different to the ones she knows.
Studies indicate that small talk does not improve closeness in a relationship. Small talk fills awkward silences, and in a relationship you should be comfortable in silence together. Shouldn’t need small talk.
I don’t think it’s really small talk anymore if it’s with your SO? Do you ask your wife what she does for a living? Or how she likes living in this city?
Sometimes I feel like I've got some kind of anxiety/attachment problem, because I actually love small talk and shit like first dates. I like anything where there's an extremely clear script, and I'm not emotionally involved so I don't care if you like me. Deep talks about life and the universe are good too, don't get me wrong; I prefer those with friends and family. But, like, there's literally zero stakes with a random schmuck talking to me in the grocery line, joking about how all the bread's gone for the third time in two months, you know?
No, just "hi honey I'm home", period. The point of disliking small talk isn't that you want to be all philosophical, it's that you are able to appreciate the refined pleasure of shutting your trap.
Small talk is inherently filler. It isn't meaningful. Sure for most folks there is the implications that "this person is talking with me because they like my company."
Why don’t people understand the glory of amenable silence? Like seriously some people just enjoy being around someone and not having to keep up the “I’m a social human being” mask
We need to learn this, to plug in the small talk in between the deep talks. Sometimes we get caught up in discussions that never end. We have stayed up talking whole night and still the time feels short. When we are so into deep talk that we even forget about necessary small talks that are required for survivial like "what you'll like for dinner" or "who's even cooking dinner".
Well, the difference is that you do actually care about your family's day and mood. I cannot be happy without them being happy, so I need to check them out and provide hugs or light swearing if necessary.
Small talk is the filler bullshit you talk about with colleagues, random people at social gatherings etc that leads nowhere and nobody actually cares about. With a person you are attracted to (initially) and in a relationship (as things go on), or with real friends/close family, it's useful and meaningful to create or mantain a bond. Now of course i still don't like listening to my dude talk nostop about random sport bullshit or my girlfriend re-enacting her whole work day when she comes home, but it's bearable because it's people i like and have a relationship with
Wife and I have been together going on over a decade. We both hate small talk (probably the key there) we tell each other about our days, talk about anything interesting that going through our mind at that time, and then just stay in each others presence just doing our own things. Then maybe we do some things together and tall about that. Same for going out on dates, we talk about the situation and what's happening but we've talked about nearly everything to death with how long we've been together, there is no more "small talk" because we don't interact with the world in that way to gain "small talk" topics.
Silence. Silence is what they do. Even if you say something, they might not feel like they need to respond. If you're not the same way, it can be stressful.
People who "hate small talk" should take charge in adding meaning to their conversations. Sometimes I think people claim to hate small talk but really they are just masking their antisocial behavior.
Me trying to convince my wife that psychoactive therapy would be a good idea trying to explain why ego dissolution isn’t actually scary 99% of the time
Me who loves laughing: yes please talk to me, strangers too! Because if we talk, we have a higher possibility of making eachother laugh than when we don't talk.
“It’s just a bunch of chemical compounds and electrical impulses driving our thought patterns, to the point companies use AI to help predict what people want to buy and when they will do so. Also nice weather we’re having today isn’t it?”
All of my friends always ask how I have so many friends and acquaintances. The answer is I am good at and love small talk. I don’t know how people hate it, am I just curious about everyone around me 😭
As an introvert who hates small talk that is married to an Introvert who hates small talk, and has been together for 20+ years. Silence…it is golden. You don’t feel a need to talk, you say hi, ask about what’s important for the relationship, family, plans, etc, but there isn’t an need to fill silence with talking. There are things we forget to tell each other, but that seems like any relationship. Honestly at dinner, i feel more of a need to talk due to outside judgment.
imagine having to resort to small talk like "hey honey smooch nice weather today, anyways i'm off to work, send me the shopping list by 6, see ya" when you could instead be planning your next holiday, even just your weekend or chat about family and shit or about an actual common interest (does that even exist with most people?)
I only hate small talk with people who don’t know how to have a conversation. If we can’t have a back and forth based on my first subject, or second, then I’m gonna stop trying.
Okay but what if you hate small talk with a passion? I honestly don’t care to acknowledge your existence. I don’t care about you and your typical life. I literally won’t say anything or I’ll vaguely/barely respond. I think it’s an American thing to enjoy the stupid small talk conversations.
You know, my lack of social skills like small talking is one if the reasons why the thought of relationships is intimidating me, and why I don't actively want to try seeking them out.
Extroverts being the most annoying fuckwads again when someone doesn't want to entertain their nonstop bullshit dribble leaving their mouth for three hours straight.
People who "hate small talk" mean that they hate having the same repeated boring interactions with strangers and acquaintances, of course I'm gonna talk like a normal person with people I like talking to
Yes. But without the “Hi honey i’m home”. That is too small talk-ish.
Bust open door, "free will, motherfucker, do you have it?"
What we have here is a misunderstanding. When people like myself say "I hate small talk", it's just a polite way of saying "I really don't give a fuck about anything about you and I have no desire to go through the exhausting act of pretending otherwise. I don't care about you, I don't care what your job is or what kind of day you're having, I don't want to see photos of your gremlin child/grandchild or discuss meteorological issues with you, i will never see or speak to you again and this exchange is utterly meaningless. I just want to stand here in line before exchanging money for a coffee, then drive home to avoid face-to-face interaction with my coworkers by working remotely"
Free will may or may not exist, but it’s probably not an important question to answer. We live as if we have free will and our actions usually assume that we are responsible for our actions.
Hate small talk with strangers or acquaintances not with people I love.
"Small talk" with people you love is funny cause you can be ironic and they will understand it and have as many innapropriate jokes as you want. Even make funny stories about small talk with other people
Small talk can lead to big talk, though. I've had some really interesting conversations with strangers, but we couldn't have had them without that foundation of 'how are you, wasn't it windy yesterday?'
I used to hate small talk with strangers, but since I’ve matured and grown confident I’ve learned I can make any conversation interesting to me.
Some weather out there eh? So what time you working till? That you just started? Makes me sick 😫
I only hate small talk when all the other person is trying to do is fill the silence, like, if you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything! The silence isn’t dangerous
A drunk man who stumbled into our dorm said the wisest words
"The silence scares me because it screams the truth. "
I come from a family where silence means your parents are mad at you and plotting how to make life hell, so silence genuinely feels dangerous to me. I’ve gotten better about it since my boyfriend is a quiet person, but those first few years were agonizing. Now that I’m used to it, whenever I visit my parents and get quiet for a bit, they think I’m mad lol full circle
Took me forever to realize my problem with silence comes down to being a people pleaser (which, if you caught that, yes that is counter-intuitive.) It's the feeling that the silence might be making them uncomfortable, and the idea of their discomfort makes me way more uncomfortable, so I strive to fill the silence so they don't feel like they have to. Even though I'm just actively projecting discomfort on them.
The silence is kinda dangerous
Attacking silence like an enemy. SHHhhhh.
I hate it when I try to engage with a customer who is just filling silence.
I feel like its a great sign in a relationship when you can genuinely be comfortable with silence in the room between you and another person. You don’t need to say anything, you just genuinely enjoy being with that person.
If I'm making small talk I'm usually fishing for an interesting topic and dropping hints about things to ask me about. Small talk stays small when people don't put the effort in.
I like comfortable silences
This is what I consider small talk to be, not repetitive conversations or questions. Talking about the weather is only small talk if you’re mentioning it because you don’t have anything to say. Same with asking how you are or how your day was. It’s small talk if the person asking doesn’t care or is doing it out of politeness, it’s just talking if you want the answer.
You explained this perfectly for me. My mom seems hates silence & literally says whatever just so there can be some noise.
a pack of silences killed my family!
Sometimes, silence is nice
yea and usually when I'm talking to people in a relationship ether friends or family, i got sth to say. its not always logical but usually say stuff to entertain, where as small talk with Randoms is usually so boring cos you don't get each other.
I've spent the last 3 days trying to explain to my very outgoing very loud friend that we don't need to spend every waking moment filling the silence.
Speech is silver, silence is golden.
My dad never shuts the fuck up.
Maniacal extroverts don't believe in comfortable silence.
You marry someone else who hates small talk and you spend your days in each others company enjoying just that, their company. 10 years in and has worked great for us.
Yes! Companionable silence is my love language. I’m comfortable sitting next to my wife while I game on something or work and she “watches” trash like 90 day fiancé but really is on her phone next to me. Being able to enjoy doing what you want NEXT to someone doing something they want instead doing something WITH someone that only one of you wants is more often than not the best option.
This is my dream. A lot of people think I don’t want to be with them because I never really interact when I’m with them, but really I just enjoy being in the company of the people I love, I don’t need more than that
My husband and I have been together since 1999, and that's how we are.
Yes! Sharing random thoughts now and then. No overthinking. Love it.
Sitting together quietly is underrated. There’s a reason dogs are man’s best friends.
This exactly. My husband might have a sliver more patience for small talk than I do, but both of us dislike it pretty strongly. Also the hypothetical situation in the post is absolutely the kind of shit we might find ourselves saying to each other, lol. I blurt out random existential ponderings all the time, no build-up needed, though occasionally I'll share my thought process leading to it for entertainment. (ADHD thought-tracks are a special sort, so if my brain makes me go "WTF brain?!" I like to share.)
Orrrr, you pick someone who does both!
Same here. I would hate my fucking life if I regularly did small talk with my wife. How do you marry someone you feel the need to small talk to??
It's very comforting to hear that. I'm still young, and sometimes my despair grows as I feel pressure to be small talk-ish. I suppose that taking my time to choose carefully is very important. I like silence, or not talking. Playing music. I don't know. I just enjoy those little things. I feel trapped into the expectations of my parents, of society, of my peers.
I remember after high school for 2 or 3 years me and 3 other dudes just sat in a garage after work and listened to music. We talked sometimes but there was a whole lot of spacing out in silence for hours on end.
The difference is I want to hear how my girlfriends day was, not the clerk at a gas station.
We like clerks. Be nice to them
I hate small talk with strangers not friends or partners.
How do you get friends or partners without small talk first?
I actually like learning what people do for work. There's usually something interesting you can learn. I've also been told I have a tendency to "interview" people, so maybe I ask too specific of questions.
Silence is awesome, just being able to be comfortable in silence with another person, while you both do different things. People who aren't comfortable with silence are quite annoying.
I broke up recently cause my girlfriend didn't understand that when I don't have to tell something, it doesn't mean I'm not interested in her
People who aren't comfortable with silence often have a health condition, though. I'm socially anxious and my brain has learnt silence= people don't like me. Even though logically, I know that's not true, anxiety makes your doubts feel very real.
This discussion feels like small talk.
It's a trap by extroverts to start a conversation with interesting people.
It's not "small" when I genuinely care about them/their day, and they want to share it with me.
Yeah there is a huge difference when asking “how is your day” when you expect “today x, y, and z happened!” vs “good”
When you know the person, updating on your day isn't small talk. Small talk is when you have to make some kind of surface level conversation with someone you don't know.
I fucking love small talk
Small things: peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Based and casual-pilled
You see that ludicrous display last night?
Yeah, my man.
Anyway did you anything fun this weekend?
I envy you.
[удалено]
My dad is a PhD philosopher. We regularly have conversations like that. My mom doesn't particularly appreciate them.
Free will is a myth, religion is a joke, we are all pawns controlled by something greater! Memes!
The DNA of the soul!
AND IT WILL COME
Free will IS a myth. Religion IS a joke. However I’m not sure that we are controlled by something greater. That’s just looking for an explanation where there is none. Reality is “just one damned thing after another.”
Literally the foundation of my relationship with my partner is memes instead of conversations made from a whim
Religions are just memes that got out of hand
Free Will Smith!
I’m 33 (m) and have never even kissed a girl. I’m autistic and afraid of socializing. That’s how.
Honestly. I read this post as “How do autistic people expect to develop and maintain romantic relationships?” It’s uh… pretty hard
Yes, pretty much.
Yeah, this is pretty much my relationship. My girlfriend used to hate it but that's who I am, so she learned to go with it.
I don't consider that small talk tho. Small talk to me is like "How's the weather?" or "How was your weekend?" with someone who doesn't really care about it. Talking about stuff you are both genuinely interested in is just having a conversation.
Thats because that’s not small talk. That’s the joke.
This person just doesn't know what small talk is. Small talk is not just any conversation that isn't deep. It's pointless blather like with coworkers or strangers in an elevator or in the break room. Usually about the weather or what stupid shows you watched over the weekend to fill the void in your life. Small talk is also marked by one or both parties no actually caring about the conversation. You can talk about the weather with someone you love without it being small talk, it might have actually impacted your day somehow.
I'm actually really into weather, so weather isn't actually small talk to me. But unfortunately it is to other people, and apparently they don't care to hear about updrafts and convection currents. So no, I don't actually have any meaningful relationships in my life. Thanks for asking.
It's a bid odd she assumes that you can't have a meaningful relationship without small talk...if anything most small-talk relationships I've had were at church, with people who were fake and couldn't care less about my life or interests.
I can't even imagine being in a relationship with small talk
Easy.. Don't live with another human.
Willy Wonka spotted
Cha Cha real smooth
Some people don't plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships.
I dislike small talk when talking to people I don’t know. When it’s someone I am comfortable being with then I could accidentally ramble on about something they don’t give a crap about.
My partner isn't a fan of small talk so this usually results in one of three scenarios
i abhor, hate, fear and dismay at the notion of filler, small talk.
I don't hate small talk, I hate small talk with random strangers or co-workers who I don't care about.
There's complete difference between forced small talk at work, or intrusions by strangers, and small talk with people you love. Also, it's totally possible to find someone you love, and you're both comfortable in silence.
Oh wow. Well, there are people who enjoy being silent together. Who is doing ‚small talk‘ to his partner anyway?
I use the good old "Honey I'm home. Let's drink champagne and bang till the sun comes out"
There are plenty of things that aren't obnoxious when it comes to those you care about. Small talk with strangers vs small talk with someone you enjoy interacting with feel and are insanely different.
If you're main interaction with your partner is small talk, you have probably failed at the whole meaningful relationship thing.
It’s more like I only talk when there’s something for me to talk about.
Some people really can’t enjoy silence lol
Or not talk. If you got nothing good to say, sometimes it's the e best decision 😉
Easy answer. We won't and don't want to. I see people out in public every day bickering at each other over nothing.
Obnoxious tweet.
I'd rather talk about how their day was.
I actually know that person aha
Implying I wouldn't say something like that as soon as I got in the door
well, no, but actually yes
Yes actually, that is exactly what my relationships are like
I’m bad at small talk. I always include a snippet about the tv show/comic book/video game I’m currently hyper focusing on.
There's a difference between 'small talk' and being interested in what people (especially a spouse) are doing or feeling.
Small talk is a verbal handshake and also you’re basically asking „do you want to talk to me?“ if the reply is very short like „yes.“ or something they don’t want to talk, if they answer „yes. It’s a wonderful day. Perfect for climbing.“ you know they want to talk.
I hate small talk as in mundane formulaic chat that neither of us particularly invested in, like talking about the bad weather with a stranger in the dentist waiting room
Honestly I just talk about my hobbies or explain stuff I learned.
The best relationships are the ones where you are comfortable just sitting in silence together.
Maybe itd be nice to just cuddle or something in silence. There doesn’t have to be conversation.
Most people who hate smalltalk just hate smalltalk with strangers
I'd be worried if the "small talk" with your wife/husband is the same as with random coworkers.
We don't hate talking to people, we just hate talking to people about nothing for hours on end
It’s not small talk if it’s with the right person. It’s only small talk at the grocery store, at the bus stop or at work.
Perhaps they mean that they hate conversations that are limited to small talk by the participants lack of depth and inability to engage in meaningful dialogue. Small talk isn’t so much a conversation that starts with exchanging basic pleasantries and discussing mundane things such as the weather, but rather, never being able to shift the dialogue past that.
There is a difference between a relationship and talking to someone. It's not like introverts are introvert in front of their mama's lol.
Yes?
My bet is that a person from that Tweet would be surprised to learn that there's world outside of the state she is living in, and they are, in fact, quite different to the ones she knows.
Studies indicate that small talk does not improve closeness in a relationship. Small talk fills awkward silences, and in a relationship you should be comfortable in silence together. Shouldn’t need small talk.
I don’t think it’s really small talk anymore if it’s with your SO? Do you ask your wife what she does for a living? Or how she likes living in this city?
If your not having deep metaphysical conservations with you SO then is it really a relationship.
Small talk is the worst. Small talk in relationships is even worse. If you have nothing interesting to say, either take a nap or go do something.
Maybe I don’t plan on being in a relationship at all..
It’s more like meaningless small talk they hate
I mean if someone hate small talk wouldn’t it make sense that the person they’d be compatible with also hates small talk? 🤔
You want more. Your current options are not to your liking. Is there anything more to life. Is what I hear.
We tend to be good listeners.
I hate small talk is code for I don’t want to talk to you.
How do people who 'love small talk' deal with the fact that most people are just being polite and actually think they're boring cunts?
The same way you deal with the fact that you don’t know what you’re talking about (aka: you don’t know that “most” people hate small talk).
I mean they think you're a boring cunt instead and talk to people who don't think that
Why do you care what someone you just met thinks about you?
They put their thoughts on twitter to feel heard.
People who hate small talk are afraid of people
well yeah i have ocd so i’m scared of everything anyways lmfao
Sometimes I feel like I've got some kind of anxiety/attachment problem, because I actually love small talk and shit like first dates. I like anything where there's an extremely clear script, and I'm not emotionally involved so I don't care if you like me. Deep talks about life and the universe are good too, don't get me wrong; I prefer those with friends and family. But, like, there's literally zero stakes with a random schmuck talking to me in the grocery line, joking about how all the bread's gone for the third time in two months, you know?
Well if free will doesn’t truely exist then your small talk and the response were preordained.
This really IS meirl.
Like Kraft cheese. Ima always be single.
It's simple, I don't
"how was your day?"
No, just "hi honey I'm home", period. The point of disliking small talk isn't that you want to be all philosophical, it's that you are able to appreciate the refined pleasure of shutting your trap.
"Plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships" LOL, you're too funny!
It's not hard. I'm either super funny and excited or deep dep despair.
That's the point: we don't.
The absolute dream.
No...
Small talk is inherently filler. It isn't meaningful. Sure for most folks there is the implications that "this person is talking with me because they like my company."
This is just a fundamental misunderstanding of what "small talk" means in the first place.
Uhmm.. We don't?
Why don’t people understand the glory of amenable silence? Like seriously some people just enjoy being around someone and not having to keep up the “I’m a social human being” mask
We need to learn this, to plug in the small talk in between the deep talks. Sometimes we get caught up in discussions that never end. We have stayed up talking whole night and still the time feels short. When we are so into deep talk that we even forget about necessary small talks that are required for survivial like "what you'll like for dinner" or "who's even cooking dinner".
Yes
Well, the difference is that you do actually care about your family's day and mood. I cannot be happy without them being happy, so I need to check them out and provide hugs or light swearing if necessary.
Silence and communicating through memes
Bold of you to assume I’m not alone in this vast cold world
Small talk is the filler bullshit you talk about with colleagues, random people at social gatherings etc that leads nowhere and nobody actually cares about. With a person you are attracted to (initially) and in a relationship (as things go on), or with real friends/close family, it's useful and meaningful to create or mantain a bond. Now of course i still don't like listening to my dude talk nostop about random sport bullshit or my girlfriend re-enacting her whole work day when she comes home, but it's bearable because it's people i like and have a relationship with
Wife and I have been together going on over a decade. We both hate small talk (probably the key there) we tell each other about our days, talk about anything interesting that going through our mind at that time, and then just stay in each others presence just doing our own things. Then maybe we do some things together and tall about that. Same for going out on dates, we talk about the situation and what's happening but we've talked about nearly everything to death with how long we've been together, there is no more "small talk" because we don't interact with the world in that way to gain "small talk" topics.
Silence. Silence is what they do. Even if you say something, they might not feel like they need to respond. If you're not the same way, it can be stressful.
People who "hate small talk" should take charge in adding meaning to their conversations. Sometimes I think people claim to hate small talk but really they are just masking their antisocial behavior.
Me trying to convince my wife that psychoactive therapy would be a good idea trying to explain why ego dissolution isn’t actually scary 99% of the time
Why wouldnt it exist unless you believe that the constelations of 12th century italy decides your life?
Literally my boyfriend of 6 years. At this point no smalltalk at all.
Small talk with people I know or love isn’t small talk to me.
Small talk with a stranger is insignificant. Small talk with someone you care about, whether a SO or friend is natural.
Me who loves laughing: yes please talk to me, strangers too! Because if we talk, we have a higher possibility of making eachother laugh than when we don't talk.
It’s generally small talk with people you don’t know too well that’s the issue.
If it's with someone you want to spend time with, it's not small talk. It's spending time with someone you want to spend time with.
Small talk sucks #foreveralone
Some punctuation would be welcome! Between "relationships and what" for example!
I would argue that orcas have free will which is why free willy should not exist.
Is that not what married people talk about?
How the hell can a person Go to work in the morning And come home in the evening And have nothing to say?
“It’s just a bunch of chemical compounds and electrical impulses driving our thought patterns, to the point companies use AI to help predict what people want to buy and when they will do so. Also nice weather we’re having today isn’t it?”
We skip the “honey I’m home” since that’s small talk
What I mean when I say this is I hate small talk with people at work, I'll shoot the shit with friends, partner etc all day long
I hate small talk as in the only reason we spoke in the last 4 months was to debate wethet the weather was shit or mildly bad
I hate small talk. Relationship is going just fine.
Interesting. This must explain why I have such an aversion to sustained meaningful relationships
All of my friends always ask how I have so many friends and acquaintances. The answer is I am good at and love small talk. I don’t know how people hate it, am I just curious about everyone around me 😭
As an introvert who hates small talk that is married to an Introvert who hates small talk, and has been together for 20+ years. Silence…it is golden. You don’t feel a need to talk, you say hi, ask about what’s important for the relationship, family, plans, etc, but there isn’t an need to fill silence with talking. There are things we forget to tell each other, but that seems like any relationship. Honestly at dinner, i feel more of a need to talk due to outside judgment.
Its not small talk if you are genuinely asking and are interested. Regardless of topic.
imagine having to resort to small talk like "hey honey smooch nice weather today, anyways i'm off to work, send me the shopping list by 6, see ya" when you could instead be planning your next holiday, even just your weekend or chat about family and shit or about an actual common interest (does that even exist with most people?)
I only hate small talk with people who don’t know how to have a conversation. If we can’t have a back and forth based on my first subject, or second, then I’m gonna stop trying.
Okay but what if you hate small talk with a passion? I honestly don’t care to acknowledge your existence. I don’t care about you and your typical life. I literally won’t say anything or I’ll vaguely/barely respond. I think it’s an American thing to enjoy the stupid small talk conversations.
You know, my lack of social skills like small talking is one if the reasons why the thought of relationships is intimidating me, and why I don't actively want to try seeking them out.
Yes.
Extroverts being the most annoying fuckwads again when someone doesn't want to entertain their nonstop bullshit dribble leaving their mouth for three hours straight.
People who "hate small talk" mean that they hate having the same repeated boring interactions with strangers and acquaintances, of course I'm gonna talk like a normal person with people I like talking to
As opposed to what? “How’s the weather?” Every day? Gossip? “How bout them ‘9ers?”
I read it as “do you think Free Willy exists?”
wait, is that not small talk? have i been doing it wrong this whole time?