I just cannot believe this is not higher, the sheer lack of internet literacy in 2022 is mindblowing. This shit has been around for multiple generations at this point.
December 15 - Florida man accused of masturbating in Walmart toy section turns himself in. Dude was caught on cam tossing off in front of a kid at Walmart. Yuuck.
On mine he ‘stole an alligator and attempted to throw it on a roof.’ I can see this branching out into ‘the adventures of Florida man and gator.’ There is Netfilx series in there somewhere.
“Florida man steals alligator from golf course and throws it onto a roof” “Florida man ties himself to weather balloon to fake his own death” “Florida man claims that people were eating his brain, leads police on crazy golf course chase”
Dec. 7. Florida man tries to pay for Mcdonalds with bag of weed. I swear I looked it up last year and it gave me a story about a guy who jerked off on an Olaf doll in a target. Can't see it now.
A naked Florida man covered in Vaseline was caught running through a mall in the Southern Florida area this afternoon. The Florida man was screaming profanities and how Elizabeth Warren was going to tax him to death. The man proceeded to take a dump in a cash register before passing out in a store that sells mattresses.
A Florida man was arrested and charged with abuse of a corpse after he unknowingly supplied police with home surveillance footage that showed him dragging the lifeless body of a 38-year-old woman through his house. - NYPost
Florida Man who was high on drugs as usual. However, on this day he decided that it would be a great idea to eat another man’s face off. He had gnawed off half of a homeless man’s face before anyone tried to intervene. The police found him and shot him. Florida Man died from the shooting.
I feel like this is one of those password guessing scams where they ask you your birthday or high school mascot.
November 3rd
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I just cannot believe this is not higher, the sheer lack of internet literacy in 2022 is mindblowing. This shit has been around for multiple generations at this point.
Now Google Florida man and your mothers maiden name then post what you get 🤪
Oh this is very much a phishing expedition.
I got "Florida man tries to trade in vehicle he stole from same dealership"
I looked up 4/20 and got “attacked daughter with a pizza”
“Florida man in green pajamas decides to eat pancake breakfast in middle of busy street.”
Mine is, "Florida Man Finds WWII Grenade and Brings It to Taco Bell"
Mine is, “Florida man says the syringes found in his rectum weren’t his”
“Florida man buys $140,000 Porsche with check printed from home computer”
Got florida man accused of jumping naked on his neighbors trampoline. Hope they couldn’t prove it
Florida man climbs atop playground equipment at park, tells kids where babies come from.
i get two:
Is it possible that the second Florida man was dreaming about the first guy toes being a lizard?
I legit got:
July 3 - Florida man dies in explosion after trying to microwave a microwave
removes hat
How the hell did the first microwave fit into the second?
Most epic death in existence
December 10 - Police say a Florida man used a flamethrower to settle a parking dispute. 🔥
I’m close, December 22
birthday twins
Hey we have the same birthday! Sup twin
Hey, that's my birthday too. Decembro!
December 15 - Florida man accused of masturbating in Walmart toy section turns himself in. Dude was caught on cam tossing off in front of a kid at Walmart. Yuuck.
No lie mine is “Florida man arrested for fatal stabbing after pulling HUMAN EARS from pocket during police questioning”
WHAT??
………………………
… “Florida Man Arrested For Botched Castration On Another Man He Met On Eunuch Fetish Website”…please tell me this isn’t true
i just read the article and apparently it's the second time he's done this 😭
We have the same birthday :)
Florida man arrested for throwing alligator through drive-thru window
I got: Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer.
What's it with the alligators??
All right, if we're in the zoo already, mine was "Florida man arrested for having sex with a miniature horse"
Florida man sprays women with roach spray, break out nunchucks over loud music, cops say
He was challenging the drive thru attendant to a pokemon battle, obviously. Go Feraligatr!
On mine he ‘stole an alligator and attempted to throw it on a roof.’ I can see this branching out into ‘the adventures of Florida man and gator.’ There is Netfilx series in there somewhere.
Ayyyyy same birthday
💀what-
I have no words but I got two for mine. September 7th
That first one is wild af 💀
Happy birthday
I got the first one for Sept 18 as well, but the result is weird for both dates as the article is dated Oct 18th.
Shit it yo birthday
Happy birthday!!
Bro happy birthday!!
Happy day of birth!
happy post/belated bday wherever you live
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
happy birthday man
happy birthday
Happy birthday?? I think?? I don't knlw your timezone but its midnight the seventh for me here!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Happy cake day!!
Happy birthday!! :D
Happy Birthday 🥳
Happy rl cakeday then
Happy Birthday!!
happy Birthday!
Hey fellow September 7 bday
Got that as well 😂💀 Americans are hilarious
Happy Birthday! Mine's tomorrow!
Haha me too. I found the second one. I don't even live in the united states, but I thought it was kind of funny.
June 12- Naked Florida man performs “strange dance” at McDonald’s before “trying to have relations with a railing”
Twin!
Bro what.
Nature always finds a way...
he may have had a knife, but they still only charged him with unarmed assault
The guy that did it, is on a Dave Portnoy pizza video. He says something like “and give it to a crack addict.”
July 12 baby !!!!
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Man I can't decide.
Wind blew cocaine into his car 🤣🤣🤣
You 🤝 Me
Nov 19! Birthday buddy~🎉🎁
Mine- Florida man accused of swinging machete toward employees after being told the bathroom was closed
These may be linked
Naked Florida man breaks into home, tries on woman's clothes, police say
Birthday buddy!
Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase September 15
I don't know why this is the funniest I've read in these comments
“Florida man accused of attacking doctor and nurse with his glass eye” what
I “see” what he did there
I got “Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible, Screams “I CONDEMN YOU,” Poops Himself” my birthday is September 29th
Lmfao 🤣
Drunk Florida Man Tries to Use Taco as ID After His Car Catches Fire at Taco Bell.
The closest I could find was: Florida man says 3 syringes found in rectum aren’t his
Those were mine, sorry
Florida man attacks gas station clerk with hot dogs, corn dog stick over beer, cops say February 20
Hello birthday buddy!
Florida man threatens to destroy everyone... with army of turtles
Birthday twin!
"Florida man ends police standoff for a slice of pizza"
Hangry
Florida man arrested by police claims playing basketball naked enhances his skill level
Early studies (this one) are inconclusive
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“Obviously not stolen; but no taillights”
november 13? cause i got the same
"Florida man claiming to be Alice in Wonderland says 'hookah-smoking caterpillar' told him to destroy liquor store with forklift"
Florida man confesses: "Jesus told me to drive Ferrari 360 off the pier"
‘Florida man March 23’ -A Florida Man Was Arrested After Telling A Playground Full Of Kids Where Babies Come From
“Florida man steals alligator from golf course and throws it onto a roof” “Florida man ties himself to weather balloon to fake his own death” “Florida man claims that people were eating his brain, leads police on crazy golf course chase”
Florida Man Arrested for Pleasuring Himself With Ice Pack in Front of First Responders: Police.
Hey me too, happy birthday for last week!
Florida man plotted Sept. 11 attack on Kansas City.
Dec. 7. Florida man tries to pay for Mcdonalds with bag of weed. I swear I looked it up last year and it gave me a story about a guy who jerked off on an Olaf doll in a target. Can't see it now.
Birthday twin!!
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets
That would hurt.
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So it was true!
Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say.
"George Jolicur, a 38-year-old, 600-pound Florida man arrested for scamming restaurants out of food but then deemed too fat for imprisonment."
He beat the system
A naked Florida man covered in Vaseline was caught running through a mall in the Southern Florida area this afternoon. The Florida man was screaming profanities and how Elizabeth Warren was going to tax him to death. The man proceeded to take a dump in a cash register before passing out in a store that sells mattresses.
Florida man worried about zombies breaks into homes.
Florida man wrecks liquor shop, blames "hookah-smoking caterpillar"
March 5th: Florida man attempts to board plane with rocket propelled grenade launcher
Florida man throws gator through Wendy's drive thru window
I remember this one!
Wtf 😂
Omg 😆 threatens to kill neighbors with machete called “kindness” 😮
“A naked Florida man in a public parking lot kicked trash cans and jumped on and punched cars while screaming ‘I only had one beer!’”
Mine is surprisingly tame, Florida man jumps on neighbor’s trampoline naked then breaks into house.
... Not if it's your house! :-b
Egads, you can't make this stuff up:
No expertise here but it seems to me that the guy with drugs up his butt smuggling them into a jail is unlikely to be the owner of said drugs.
Here are the two that really stuck out to me.
“Florida man who was peeing all over the room attacks good samaratin” Mine is from March 17th!!
“Man arrested for giving his girlfriend a wet willie”😂😂 (August 31)
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets
I got 'Florida Man' uses alligator to shotgun a beer while cranking Skynyrd
I'd hang with him.
how do you use an alligator to shotgun a beer.
Florida man slapped girlfriend with cheeseburger, kicked her down stairs:
Wonder if he knew my “Florida Man Causes Thousands of Dollars Worth of Property Damage Trying to Kill “Demons”.
Naked Florida man chases couple around Chick-fil-A parking lot, deputies say - WCTV
July 27- A Florida man is facing several charges after authorities said he used COVID-relief funds to buy a Lamborghini and bank millions
A Florida man was arrested and charged with abuse of a corpse after he unknowingly supplied police with home surveillance footage that showed him dragging the lifeless body of a 38-year-old woman through his house. - NYPost
Oct 27: Florida man had live grenade, clown mannequin inside truck
Florida man tried to exchange marijuana for food at McDonalds
Florida man arrested for attacking McDonald's employee over not getting a straw, police say
Florida man threatens to destroy everyone... with army of turtles
Florida man arrested after whipping out a samurai sword in trash dispute.
florida man throws baby at officer while in a high speed chase
"Florida Man Arrested After Fit Of Rage When Checker's Ran Out Of Lettuce"
“Florida Man Displayed Gun After Learning Delray Beach McDonald's Had Broken Ice Cream Machine”
Florida man tells traffic cop Putin made him speed: I was ‘Russian home’
Then type in “Florida man” followed by your social security number and tell me the results. Mine was “Florida man has his identity stolen.”
Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger
Florida man Throws toilet through school board building window.
"Naked Florida Man Performs 'Strange Dance' at McDonald's Before 'Trying to Have Relations With a Railing'" June 12
Florida man arrested after dining on spaghetti with his bare hands
Florida man arrested after video shows him dragging woman's lifeless body
Florida Man Charged With Battery After Allegedly Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend
Florida man high on flakka attacked officer, said he was God, had sex with tree, police say...
Florida man accused of pouring beer in gator's mouth after enticing reptile to bite his arm
Man rides jet ski on interstate...
I think I won (February 3rd)
Don’t be so sure: Oct-6
Florida man accused of handing out marijuana to passersby “because it was Christmas”. Wow, my Florida man seems like a nice guy!
Florida man faces charges for eating pancakes in the middle of the road.
Florida man arrested for masturbating with a pickle on private property.
Florida man arrested after hitting girlfriend in face with burrito
Florida man accused of stabbing woman over underdone potato
Florida man Arrested, accused of giving girlfriend a wet willy. TF
Florida man attached by lemur
Florida man rides manatees, dares police to arrest him
Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say
Florida man reported a dead body by carrying the skull into a Publix and using it as a puppet.
Florida man accused of hanging dog from tree, punching child who refused to help.
Florida man August 17
From Pensacola: Deputy cleared for shooting naked man armed with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him
"Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase"
Florida Man Screamed “Fuck Them Horses” Before Punching Police Horse
Blood-Soaked Florida Man on Bicycle Arrested for Forcing Potato Chips on 8-Year-Old Boy
Florida Man who was high on drugs as usual. However, on this day he decided that it would be a great idea to eat another man’s face off. He had gnawed off half of a homeless man’s face before anyone tried to intervene. The police found him and shot him. Florida Man died from the shooting.
Florida man climbs on playground equipment in park, tells kids where babies come from
Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets
Florida man stabs neighbor with machete Wow January 14 Florida man has a machete!
Charged with battery for giving girlfriend wet willy
Florida Man Arrested for DUI While Lemur and Wallaby Escape from Truck During Traffic Stop
I-I don’t even know how to react…
So… I got “Florida man uses wife’s head as a mop” … holy shit that got morbid quick lol
Florida man tries to kill ex girlfriend with a sword
Florida man found with live grenade, clown mannequin inside truck
Florida man steals pool floats for sex 'instead of raping women,' police say
I got "Florida man arrested fot allegedly throwing cookie at girlfriend"
Florida man sentenced to jail and moral therapy for attacking a minion
Florida man claims bags of cocaine, meth found wrapped around penis aren't his
Florida man wearing gloves steals all the chicken wings at 7-11.