Accurate, yet backhanded slogans for your hospital

  1. At one of the hospitals I trained at the slogan (which was literally hung over the street and pasted everywhere) was ‘Amazing Things Are Happening Here’. My friends and I always joked that it was missing an ellipsis: ‘Amazing … Things Are Happening Here’

  2. Haha, that same hospital- after a medico-leagal trainwreck ( patient vegetative state after prolonged hypotension peri-procedure) , apparently one of the automated BP monitors in question went missing. one of the attendings I was working with learnt about this and in the most deadpan way just proclaimed amazing things happen here.

  3. Heh... makes me think of Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy grumping about the 1980s hospital being in the dark ages.

  4. I’ve been saying “when seconds count, EMS is only a decade behind” a lot lately because of how behind our field is on best practices.

  5. I don't know enough to say this for sure, but I'm guessing that EMS financial incentives are even worse off than hospital medicine as far as inducing practitioners to adopt best practices

  6. "We're your community hospital, and like you our pipes leak, our electricity goes out, our elevators don't always reach the top floor, and our computers freeze up ..but we have jello sometimes."

  7. “Our hospital is the only Leapfrog Grade A in town! We have zero nosocomial infections because we don’t do cultures on inpatients!”

  8. I always claimed that the motto of the hospital where I did residency was: “The System is Down.” The mission statement was: “That’s Not My Job.”

  9. At a hospital called Good Samaritan when something wasn't working the surgeon said, "That's why they call it Good Sam, not Better Sam."

  10. HCA made one and put it on tshirts all on their own. They say "We show up." Yep, we're physically present. Best we can do.

  11. After a particularly hellish night where I was unable to do anything in the way of patient education, I told the director of nursing that we provided quantity care, not quality care as they'll all be re-admitting.

  12. "SORRY NOT WILLING TO OFFER SUFFICIENT PAY/CONDITIONS TO ATTRACT WORKERS: CHECK HOURS BEFORE COMING"

  13. university of chicago touts that they are the forefront of medicine, which many refer to as the foreskin of medicine

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