My Parents Listened To A Church Service Story About A Lesbian Becoming Straight

  1. Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are not within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in

  2. That is anti lgbt rhetoric. Not only is that definitely a made up anecdote, it also propagates the idea that being lgbt is a choice, can be voluntarily changed and should be changed for the sake of breeding and being a housewife. Love how that still shows ppl think a womans worth can only be derived from her relationships and amount of offspring.

  3. Even if it wasn't made up, that poor girl did not turn straight. Brainwashing, indoctrination and harassment made her hide herself and be forced to live as a straight woman, as countless and countless before her. In fact, this is probably the story of many women combined into one - women forced into compliance.

  4. There was a special put out by some news outlet around 10 years ago about “ex-gays”. Some of the people they interviewed went through ex-gay therapy and some did not. Anyway, one of the people they interviewed was a women who choose “to give up” the “gay lifestyle”, married a man and had two children with him. However, this women never said she was no longer a lesbian. She was clear that she was still sexually attracted to women and not men, but said she loved her husband and didn’t regret leaving the “lifestyle” behind. While she didn’t explicitly say it, it was clear she was a Christian and bought into the church’s anti-gay rhetoric.

  5. Yeah, that’s absolutely an anti-LGBTQ story, especially in the fact that they specifically decided to include the point about the rhetoric of both sides and how the anti-LGBTQ side won out

  6. yeah. I went to a church group and dealt with the same thing. There was a 'former' gay man who went there. He had converted and even ended up marrying a woman. I feel bad for the guy

  7. See at least your bullshit smells of roses unlike theirs. 5/7 perfect story ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

  8. There are a lot of token rah rah'd people in evangelical or conservative communities. While the individual is obviously entitled to their own beliefs and life choices, the community support around them is usually pretty disgusting. They aren't to uplift her or others to support people. They uplift them so they can use them as a weapon on people they are uncomfortable with or don't understand.

  9. There's a documentary on Netflix called Pray Away. It tells the complete story of how the conversion movement got big in american Christianity. It really exposes the abuse, cruelty and gas lighting involved. I'm not religious but I could never imagine willingly throwing my kid to these wolves, like, why would anyone want to find a cure to love? The doc also exposes gay people being forced into hetro marriage so that they could carve out a career with the church pretending to be cured. Its worth a watch just to know the history and to have some facts about the movement.

  10. I’m a conversion therapy survivor. Our stories are almost always the same in that we can be taught (brainwashed, deluded) into believing that stuff works but a decade or two later we’re in therapy and out of the closet

  11. It’s a fake story they love to tell. Growing up in the Catholic Church I can tell you this kinda shit is peddled all the time. It is pitched at as something that sounds fairly benign to the average church goer.

  12. Yup, the “how dare you to be right” and “it’s persecution” attitudes. The latter one the minute anyone disagrees with them.

  13. In the absolute best scenario, that's a woman realising she's bi instead of lesbian. But the other 90% of scenarios are anti LGBT+ propaganda, which can be very damaging. Those scenarios range from being completely made up to being pressured/blackmailed and bullying/harassment to disgusting stuff like r***, brainwashing/indoctrination or threats.

  14. A good piece of advice here is to doubt everything and trust only something that can be confirmed factually. “Trust me bro” is never a way to go.

  15. Can easily fight back that this is why you have to give room for people to explore and discover themselves. Maybe the person they talked about was bisexual actually or had other demons but due to fear of rejection from the straights and desperation to fit in kept to a hardline homosexual, lesbian. It is why you must allow people to explore and find who they are truly.

  16. While I agree people need room to explore, if the woman the church talked about is the person myself and a lot of other people think it is, then she still actually says that she's a lesbian and that she's attracted to women 100%. But that God told her to marry and that acting out being gay is a sin, so he allowed her to repent for her sins, get married to the single man she can ever imagine sleeping with and having a bunch of kids. It isn't a "she needed room to explore" situation, especially since she still states she's attracted to women.

  17. I'm guessing the pastor didn't mention all the people in hetero marriages who come out later in life and get divorced 🤷🏽‍♂️

  18. Whether the story is real or not doesn't really matter. It's being overshared by desperate religious people who hate lgbt lifestyles and freedom, who desperately want the story to be true for ALL people even if it's slamming a square peg into a round hole and will make you tremendously unhappy.

  19. My general thoughts are "Religion is bad" and "this isn't surprising". Seriously, why are you putting ANY sort of trust into churches or any religious institution? You're wasting your time and setting yourself up for disappointment. Your parents are fucking ignorant, and wouldn't know anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric if it hit them in the face, they're so fucking brainwashed

  20. Was it Jackie Hill Perry? I listened to her speak at a youth women convention I went to. The entire thing was over the top, but I just went to see some old friends. Perry said she’s still lesbian but resists her urges and has married a man and has kids. I ultimately feel bad for the husband who is most likely in a relationship in which his wife doesn’t love him.

  21. My mom told me the same story, but the woman was one of her "friends" and Christianity wasn't mentioned. It's most definitely made-up.

  22. A strange story. Yes some people may mistake themselves as LGBT when they are indeed straight, but the story simply undermines other lesbians. If you want a story like that, then they need to preach a story of a straight woman finding out shes a lesbian!

  23. I feel you. My parents’ church (where I attended as a child) brought in a speaker who had transitioned from woman to man and then found Jesus and transitioned back to a woman. She was part of a sermon series about being “made in the likeness of god”, which seemed to imply that you were denying god’s path for you by changing/affirming your gender. It was such a compelling story from a real live person, and I saw how easily my parents could be convinced that all transgender people were just like her. At this point, I had gotten to know a few transgender people in my friend group and gained a much different perspective on the LGBTQ community than I had growing up. But for my parents, this speaker was the only real experience they had. Why wouldn’t they assume that all transgender people were just confused, misled, and broken? Her testimony ignored and invalidated the experiences of people who have transitioned and found real peace and freedom in their identity. Churches use these case studies to prove their point while completely ignoring the stories that prove them wrong. And because they aren’t a news source and claim to be apolitical, no one really has to fact-check them or make sure they are representing all sides fairly. In my opinion, it’s just pure manipulation.

  24. Some people decide to get married and procreate with someone they're not attracted to or in love with, because they feel "called" to do so. This doesn't change their orientation, but it might change how people outside the relationship perceive them. I'm not in a relationship like that, so I'm not sure I can judge, but it feels like people would be happier if they could marry and raise children with someone they were attracted to and did love romantically. And I think the total happiness would increase if people were allowed (both legally and socially) to marry who they want.

  25. So the people who lie about there being a magic man in the sky who cries when you touch yourself also lied about a woman who claimed to be un-lesbianed by a random priest? Say it ain't so!

  26. My thoughts? This is exactly why there's a heavy anti-Religion bend to a lot of LGBTQ spaces. Because even a lot of the "We Don't Judge" Churches still push this rhetoric that God Can Save You From Being LGBTQ. Even if only quietly. Even if only from a place that looks positive.

  27. Queerphobic. Queerphobic lies and bullshit. Not to mention that woman didn’t “turn straight” she simply repressed her true feelings and forced herself to live a miserable, empty life. Eventually she may just going end up sleeping with a woman due to this repression, repressed gays and lesbians almost always do this.

  28. It sounds to me like this woman was never lesbian in the first place. Best case scenario: she's bisexual and simply lied to herself. Worst case scenario: she was pressured by everyone in her life and coerced into acting straight to appease them.

  29. There's no such thing as being apolitical. So-called "apolitical" people/groups are almost always conservatives who just want people to not question their views. I take it as a huge red flag whenever anyone says they're apolitical. The church service you heard just proved it's absolutely not an "apolitical" church.

  30. As you and many others suspect this is a thinly-veiled anti-lgbtq ploy. It’s a farce as much as any person or organization (especially a fundamentalist church) that says they’re apolitical is actually apolitical.

  31. One of the sad things is that some of these conversion therapy proponents don't even claim that people become straight, necessarily. Some people will admit to still "struggling" with homosexuality or will admit that they're still gay but chose to repress it, but it's still seen as a success story if they marry someone of the opposite sex and have kids.

  32. Not necessarily. Feeling attraction isn’t a choice, but being attracted to a certain gender doesn’t make you incapable of being in a relationship with people of other genders. People who are aromantic or asexual can be in a relationship despite not experiencing attraction, and straight people can experiment while ultimately realizing that they are straight. Probably this woman was either bisexual or a lesbian who believes she is no longer straight or only fixed the external appearance by entering a straight relationship while still experiencing attraction to women. Though I don’t mean this in a homophobic way, gay people shouldn’t be forced to be in a straight relationship just because “they can”. It should go both ways: as much as you are free to be in a straight relationship, you should be equally as free to be in a non-straight relationship. And plus it’s not really a choice for a lot of gay people since they would not feel as fulfilled in a straight relationship even though they technically “can” be in one.

  33. I'll do you one better. Growing up I went to a predominantly white evangelical church in the south with a "liberal pastor from California." He wanted to partner with some of the black churches in the area and the congregation was outwardly pretty uncomfortable, but he kept trucking forward on it. It culminated in inviting the preacher and his wife from a nearby black church to give one of the sermons. I've never seen a church crowd so stiff and glacial before. The preacher gave most of his sermon to utter silence. Then his wife grabbed the mic and started riffing. She talked about how their oldest kid "thought she was a man and wanted to cut off her breasts" and how they essentially broke him back down into submission until he started living as a woman again. The atmosphere almost instantly changed from freezer hostile to rapt and electric. She was absolutely killing this crowd. That was toward the end and most of the crowd left chattering excitedly among themselves about the sermon.

  34. fundamentalist christians usually fall for rethoric like this because they actually worry for thier loved ones. they actually believe that beeing that way is harmfull for thier loved ones. does that make it any less bad? of course not! but it might change your approach regarding thier feelings.

  35. bruh this is the time where you pack your shit and leave b4 they try (emphasis on try) real hard to convert you ""back"" to being ""normal"" (heavy quotation marks), society sucks and so does religion

  36. Aaaaand this is why I’m agnostic and look into science aka what’s accaly fucking real I have hundreds of debates against religion backed up by evidence and proof from the bast 500 years and even further back fuck religin

  37. God, it's stuff like that that makes me happy my parents can't speak English at all, so they're essentially internet poison-proof for the most part.

  38. This definitely sounds made up, as you didn’t give us your point of view in the post, just asked “what we though” it looks like a reach for a trigger, nice one. Please let us know what you think as the answer to your question is one you already know.

  39. Well the story is definitely suspicious, but the woman could have just been bi all along. Perhaps without even knowing it.

  40. my grandmas church is like this as well, except it just started now "advocating" for the LGBTQ+ community, but still preaches that "man and woman shall only get married and are allowed to date and have kids".

  41. Toxic. My dad made me sit through anti-lgbtq church services when i came out, (I was like 12) but always said he just “didn’t agree” with it, it was very passive and damaged our relationship. They know what they’re doing.

  42. I remember I was scrolling on TikTok and saw a video about a former gay man turned Christian/straight. It was super upsetting to see, and like some others I was raised pretty religious.

  43. in my experience "apolitical," especially in a church setting, tends to mean "not willing to defend LGBT people when they come under attack by claiming neutrality" or "telling them to keep their identity to themselves because its making the bigots uncomfortable and they see our existence as a political debate"

  44. This reminds me of a story from my high school theology teacher. She told us about her best friend in college came out to her as lesbian. My Teacher told her friend "Are you sure about that you should put it on the back burner and try to date a guy first." The friend then "Became straight" and is now happily married with four kids.

  45. When I was a kid, the church I went to did a sermon series about sex and purity and all that. It was weird. But the weirdest and also shittiest one was when they brought in a guest speaker who claimed that he was a reformed gay man. I don’t remember anything else from any of the series’s or sermons that I went to except this, because it impacted me so much. I remember him saying that he was in a bar and SAW JESUS who essentially urged him to turn away from “sin” and be straight, which he did. And everyone in the crowd just thought this was normal and good.

  46. Hog wash ! I’m probably gonna piss some people off but that’s OK listen be who you are there is nobody on this planet that can judge you but yourself and when the time comes be who you are if you want to be Christian to be Christian if you want to be a witch will be rich if it’s not for anyone here to tell you what you can and cannot do free will you do your choice

  47. Sounds like the broadcaster told a bullshit story. Religious people like to make up crap like this. If you can/want, you can call them out, too: contact them live and bring up the story, ask for details. Who is this supposed convert? Do you have any information on how to get in touch with them? Is this "story" told elsewhere? Basic journalism will basically reveal most these stories go two places: a self-repressed member of the GSRM community who's trying desperately to deny their own orientation and conform so they can retain certain community or familial relationships (and the story was oversimplified and polished up in a sermon or religious publication), or--more often--the story is completely made up.

  48. Honestly it sounds utterly fabricated, I feel like "and then everyone clapped" might be added to the story. But it's definitely full of anti-lgbtqia+ dogwhistles so that is not ideal.

  49. It's probably not even a true story. If it is, great. It happened once. Let's give some airtime to all the times Christians tried to pray away they gay and it didn't work.

  50. Look up Kathy Baldock if your parents throw any resources your way. She made it her life goal to review every ex-gay book published by christians, so if this example person is named and has published, she will have it on her list.

  51. There are plenty of these stories, and it does happen for some people, but to expect it to happen for everyone just isn’t realistic?

  52. Would I be bigoted, if I say she is actually bisexual? There is no shame in people discovering their own sexuality. However, the way she uses it and the way these anti-lgbtqia uses her story as a way to discriminate against the community is ridiculous.

  53. Plot twist: lesbian discovered she was actually bi, she then married a trans man and adopted many children with him

  54. ... I think that her sexual orientation is hers and she is still okay to support no matter her sexuality but it's idiotic, I think, to say that religion doesn't contribute to politics. I see it influence politics all the time

  55. Ugh. I was one of these people. Grew up Christian, identified as a lesbian in my teens. Church and parents put me through emotional terror, and at the end of a relationship I became a devoted churchgoer and proud ex-lesbian and told my "testimony". I shared my view around that "homosexuality is harmful" on facebook. My reasoning? Because God said so, even if I cannot find anything bad about it myself, but "lean not on your own understanding" blah blah.

  56. There are Christian LGBT+ advocates. Both members of and allies. People have dug deep into the Bible for where it really says we’re not allowed to be “gay” and it’s just very misinterpreted, but that’s nothing new.

  57. The church obviously isn’t apolitical. It sucks that actually ppl’s livelihoods is seen as political. The lesbian who supposedly turned straight could possibly be bi and just not have figured it out until the guy she married. Or maybe she is faking being straight for safety reasons as well. It’s difficult to know for sure what the full story is. It’s also possible that ppl sadly did conversion therapy on her and it somewhat worked and she’s not fully herself anymore which is terrible if that happened

  58. Ah yes, the ol' Christian entitlement parable. "Everyone else should change to fit our outdated, misogynistic, patriarchal, bigoted beliefs because we just can't be bothered to learn or change in any way."

  59. Was this general conference/Mormonism? It's getting to the point where I'm worried what my little sister is listening to since she still lives at home, not to mention that her older sister (me) is a lesbian.

  60. My parents are similar in the sense that they say they support me but have made nooooooo efforts to talk to me about queer things or made it comfortable for me to date women. I'm bisexual and they still mention waiting for me to find a husband and have kids. I'd prefer they say spouse. Also, my dad attended an online church that had an ex-trans guest and say my extended families beliefs about my "lifestyle" is just because of their culture and make no efforts to defend me. Writing this now, I realized that they basically let them verbally abuse me when I came out because it was just a different "perspective".

  61. A queer Christian minister here to say that orientation conversion stories are pretty much always false and that God made you queer because She loves you that way.

  62. Pretty bullshit story, I remember my mom told me about how there was this lady she was friends with, who had a daughter, but then the daughter went on to hangout with her stepsister from her fathers side, and that the stepsister somehow convince the daughter that it was cool to be lesbian or some shit, so the daughter told the mom she's lesbian, so then the mom set the daughter up with a guy and the daughter then "became straight" and was just confused. Obvious bullshit story, but somehow my mom believes it

  63. Sounds like threatened her and forced her back in the closet. That or the priest did nothing and she was actually bisexual or another multi sexual so it was just happenstance. People tend to ignore that bisexual, pansexual, etc, exists.

  64. I see people mentioning she wrote a book, it could be that she thought she might be gay and realized she wasn't and is also crazy or she's just a bigoted lyer. Also could be strong internal homophobia which people should keep to themselves. Like the trans women that side with terfs.

  65. Was this the “Gay Girl, Good God” woman? I saw a YouTuber do a break down of her memoir and it really sheds a light on how much she has suppressed herself to fit in with the norms being forced upon her.

  66. Well, that's super... but I've heard stories of a lot more heterosexual boys going gay than I have lesbians going straight.

  67. My grandparents watch a “church service” called Shepherd’s Chapel. It’s supposedly a “tell it like it is” type church, and we all know what that means. I’ve heard some of their service and Q&As while I was at their house because they have it on constantly and 1. It’s anti LGBTQ, and 2. It seems super cult like, even for a church.

  68. I have met real people with the same stories so I don’t think that’s fake. My theory is that she could be bi rather than lesbian and anyway regardless of the label, our sexuality evolves and is constantly open to changes right? in addition to that, people, regardless of sexuality, sometimes need religion as a structure, for their life to function in an organized manner. unfortunately, this person might have found this structure in a church that thinks they healed her from homosexuality.

  69. I've heard so many fictitious stories from sermons that I've learned not to trust them without web-searchable sourcing. Ministers routinely engage in deception and are not reliable sources of news or truth, any more than the marketing department of a commercial enterprise. (Major ministries are for-profit commercial enterprises regardless of their organization status according to the state.

  70. Some people's sexuality genuinely does change over time, even to go from being gay to straight or trans to cis, I have personal experience with this. But it doesn't make being queer anymore a choice than being straight is. And usually, when people talk about these stories, they aren't doing it because they care about the person; they're doing it to pedal harmful anti-gay and anti-trans rhetoric. Because they're phobic.

  71. She could be bisexual, or she was scared into it. I know growing up I tried so hard to be straight cause my family would have literally murdered me if I wasn’t. Maybe she was threatened in some way? Or again, maybe she’s bisexual, but even so, still not straight.

  72. I think that is very political and not even close to any story related to christianity. Just another story made up by preachers to try ajd shame people they don't like.

  73. The church has Bible verses against LGBTQIA+ and that's ok. If your parents are coming after you, that's really sad to hear, but the church doesn't hate on people specifically, if they are, they are heathens and hypocrites.

  74. FYI there are three kinds of Christian views on this. This lady was Side X, as in ex-gay. My childhood church believes this. Even if they don't outright say they support conversion therapy, they platform people like Rosaria Butterfield who claim to have turned straight after finding Jesus. To them, being gay is a sin and Jesus will make you straight.

  75. This is so sad. I understand the pressure to belong is intense, but every time I hear these stories I think those folks didn’t find their queer community and they got sucked into despair thinking conforming would be the only way to be loved, connected, and belong. 💔💔🥺

  76. I mean it does happen. I used to work with this girl who was a proud lesbian and very vocal about and now she’s married to a man and has a kid with him. Sexuality is weird, but for every story like that, there are also a lot of stories of women marrying men and later finding out they’re lesbian. Also, Some people are bisexual but are in denial of it.

  77. For me, my mother can't accept that I like guys and still sees me as male. She doesn't accept that I'm a woman who's straight and sees me being into guys as sin. doesn't accept my transition claiming me to be wrong about myself and lost, but it always boils down to the problems I have in my life being directly linked to me liking guys.

  78. Like I tried to be a lesbian for my mother but I couldn't perform, it just wasn't happening for me. I ended up getting abused as well by them so I avoid all contact that I can with women out of fear now, not just not being interested. trying to be a lesbian for my mother just ended up scarring me.

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