Canceling plans excuse generator

I can’t go because the Pope gave me syphilis.

Really? This is going to sound crazy but Dan Rather gave me Syphilis.

Welcome to the club

Least it wasn’t your nephew

I'm sorry to hear that.

“I’m sorry I can’t come, Dan Rather died in front of me” - me, to the very next person to invite me to something.

He can't be dead, I just saw him pour lemonade in my gas tank!

Get this: the ghost of Hitler poured lemonade on my gas tank

Noice, I wanted to say EXACTLY this xD

My tinder date posted my nudes on instagram sounds like a legit story tbf 😂

Man, i hate when the pope steals my bicycle

I was minding my own business and boom! My nephew gave me syphilis

This is the excuse I was looking for

"I am terrible, but my tinder date stabbed me" I will start using that

O shit, it was "i feel terrible"

What book is this?

here's a link

This is gonna sound crazy but a sad clown found my box of human teeth...

I can’t go because the Pope just shit the bed

A sad clown stabbed me

I can’t because the pope just gave me syphilis

Using Human teeth every time now. People will think I’m tapped.

If this is a real book where can I get it? I’ll need one

It's called "A Visual Learner's Guide to Being a Grown-Up" it's easy to find online, enjoy

I was minding my own business when boom! The ghost of Hitler just shit the bed!

i was minding my own bussiness then boom! the ghost of hitler gave me syphillis

Me: I was minding my own business and boom! The ghost of Hitler gave me syphilis.

Sorry I can't come,the ghost of Hitler is having a nervous breakdown.

Personally I like “I was minding my own business and boom a professional cricket team posted my nudes on instagram.

Picked at random and got

I want to print this and get red, yellow, and blue d10s to make my excuses from now on

I regretfully cannot attend, my ex just shit the bed

Please forgive my absence the ghost of Hitler died in front of me

I like "Get this: the ghost of H***er just shit the bed"

This is going to sound like an excuse but, the ghost of Hitler, stole my bike, stabbed me, proceeded to shit in my bed, find my box of human teeth, post my nudes on Instagram, and is now having a nervous breakdown.

I was minding my business snd the boom! The pope posted my nudes on instagram

I regretfully cannot attend, my tinder date just shit the bed