My dad threw a fit because everyone was complimenting the cake my 9 year old daughter baked on her birthday instead of paying attention to him

  1. He kind of did. My dad had his bday two weeks prior. As my parents bathroom is in really bad shape we kids decided to not get him some something but instead open a savings account for a bathroom remodeling. Now every bday and festivity my parents get a few hundreds by each of us. My mom loved that idea and is excitedly waiting until our goal is reached while my dad never fails to mention how he doesn't get real presents anymore - Which he also did at daughter's bday ...

  2. Op might have been stuck with him when they were a child but now they have a choice to allow this man in their and their own kids lives or not.

  3. I would call him out. "Hey dad, are you that starved for attention that you have to sabotage a 9 year old girl's birthday party? Really? How old are you again?"

  4. Omg he sounds like my ex's step dad. Hope one of these days someone asks him if its really that painful for him to let other people have the spotlight for one damn day.

  5. He doesn't get it. I view him as mentally impaired in a way. In his perception he is doing anything for the family and the most altruistic being on earth.

  6. I don’t think I could keep a straight face during that. I would roast your dad. He feels like a 9 year old’s accomplishment is less important than him doing nothing. He can hypothetically make a better cake. 🤡

  7. I'm just imagining him, hands on hips saying all snotty " yeah, well, pffft. foot stomp I can make cakes toooooo. And they're better! So I'm better. Na na a boo boo your cake is poo poo" and then leave in a huff

  8. Truth be told:a) no he can't. He is useless in the kitchen and b) daughter has been talked to a lot. So she gets that grandpa is inappropriate and unable to act like an adult should be acting. She doesn't take him seriously

  9. PLEASE tell me he is barred from any and all future celebrations unless and until he apologizes to your child, in front of all the people present. She does not deserve to have this manchild foisted on her AT HER BIRTHDAY jfc

  10. I feel the same. I hope OP knows how much it sucks to be a kid and have a grandparent behave this way. This kind of stuff might seem small to an adult but it's huge to a kid.

  11. No he is actually not. We actually went the route of explaining to her a long time ago that her grandpa is unable to act like an adult should be acting. Like an illness sort of. So she doesn't take him seriously like basically everybody else too.

  12. Is this behavior a new development for your dad or has he always been like this? If it's new or weirdly escalating behavior, he needs to get to a doctor. Sometimes the onset of dementia can increase aggression.

  13. He has been this way for 40 years. I suspect a mental handicap rather or personality disorder rather than dementia

  14. Oh my god my dad does this. At my baby shower he was mad no one was paying attention to him so he got super drunk and put a chair in the middle of the room and just started telling shit until my mom made him leave

  15. I had the same question because it sounds similar to behaviors my mom had at the early stages of alzheimer's. There's a point where she could still have conversations, remember basic things just fine, so a person wouldn't necessarily know she was tipping toward dementia. But her brain's ability to filter inappropriate thoughts or actions was breaking down.

  16. As long as I know him. However he is not 24/7 like this. It's more as of he has triggers that push him to being extra needy and that way. He can also react pretty much normal.

  17. And nobody is keeping him in check? Granted I don't know OP history but after the first few comments and him beefing with a 9 years old i'm surprised nobody called him out instead of just shushing him because if I follow correctly,doesnt seem like he was discreet about it.

  18. We tried over the years. Explained and explained etc. He doesn't get it. Maybe he is mentally challenged or he has some type of personality disorder - in the end he is unable to even see his behaviour. He would always argue he was on his best behaviour and made his grandkid proud

  19. What an absolutely selfish dad and grandpa he is! Who has to disrespect his granddaughter's baking and decorating skills out of jealousy? I think the entire family should shush and shame him every time he does this.

  20. I don't have any comment on your dad that hasn't already been brought up. I'm just here to praise your daughter. She MADE the icing? I was already impressed with her baking the cake. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  21. Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder, IMO. My grandpa was the same way. Always wondered why we didn't visit with grandpa too much.

  22. Lmao what the hell? I have a 9 yr old brilliant daughter as well, and if my dad tried to pull shit like this, he wouldnt even be invited! Like gross. He sounds like a nightmare to be married to 🤢

  23. Did anyone call him out or ask him to leave? Cruelty to a child on her birthday is really low. Definitely worth rocking the boat over.

  24. Daughter has been told a few years back that her granddad is not able to react in adult ways sometimes and to never take him seriously. To be honest we all treat him as if he had a mental handicap

  25. Your dad sounds a lot like my FiL; my FiL is a grandiose narcissist. It’s always sobering to watch a 65 year old man living in a perpetual state of arrested development.

  26. Were your dad, I'd say next time your kid has a birthday, shove a big wad of sticky taffy into his pie hole so that by the time he unsticks it, the event's over and he can go pout on the back porch.

  27. The last part confuses me, of course university level math is going to be much harder than first grade math. Your not dealing with quadratic equations and so forth at that level, that's like comparing a bus to an airplane. He sounds like an entitled piece of exhausting work, I'm surprised your family even tolerates him honestly.

  28. My guess is the following: mom has been in gifted kids programs, scholarships etc her whole life. Same goes for me. Brothers also received additional honors. While my dad struggled with school and made it only with a lot of help provided by my mom. So he tried to eased his fear of being less intelligent by showing me something he was able to do which I wasn't. The first grade thing is something he was willfully ignoring to match his tale

  29. The only reason I would keep this toxic manchild in my life would be inheritance. Don't let this man bully your kid.

  30. There’s a video of a spoiled kid trying really hard to blow the candles out on a birthday cake that belongs to another little boy. An adult standing behind him keeps blocking his attempts with a paper plate until the actual birthday boy blows out the candles. The brat kid acts like he wants to punch someone then throws a tantrum. That kid was the first thing I thought of when you described your father’s behavior.

  31. He didn't ruin anything. Daughter has been told years ago that grandpa is not capable of acting appropriate so she doesn't take him seriously. We kind of treat him as if he were mentally handicapped

  32. After a Google search, I now know that "glooming with joy" was a typo or a misunderstanding of the language. But I love it! Let's make it a real saying!

  33. Remimds me of that one episode of south park where they're celebrating kyles birthday, and while opening presents, Cartman has gifts to open too even though it's not his birthday

  34. I don't say this to sound rude but people really need to learn/accept that going low or even no contact with anyone, even family, is okay. If this is his usual behaviour I don't think its helpful or productive for him to be around you or your daughter. It sounds like you'd be better off without him in your lives.

  35. Everyone else nailed the comments about your dad. I'm here to say what an awesome mom you are for encouraging your daughter to cook and bake at an early age.

  36. I’m thinking that this might be a sign of dementia OP or early onset Alzheimer’s. Have you talked to the doctor about this? If he’s had this behavior all of his life it would be different. After my grandfather died we saw just how much he hid how bad my grandma was. Over two weeks she hit my mom, mom had to call the police, grandma called the police because mom would not give her the car keys, and I called asking for her to be detained as gravely disabled because she wasn’t eating and drinking. She went willingly because she had called 911 and trusted them and not us. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks before we could find an adult family home for her. She is doing better there but the dementia is progressing. Please consider talking about this situation with him. He may not take it well but better to get screened to see what it is. UTI can also cause a lot of problems in elders

  37. Tell your dad it's pretty sad that he feels he has to compete with a 9 year old on her birthday for attention.

  38. Is this unusual behaviour for him? My FIL started to demand attention - even to express a positive view of the British National Party (so far right it was deplatformed) and eventually became depressed. He was like a pre-pubescent looking for attention.

  39. To be honest he has been that way since forever so probably rather mentally handicapped or personality disorder

  40. Your dad sounds like a pathetic human being and a poor excuse for a father. I am sorry your whole life has been like this, and that he can’t be happy for anyone or anything they do. I cannot imagine not boosting & lifting up my children when they do something well, especially if it is actually above their age ability. But you sound like a good mom in spite of how he treated you growing up. I don’t know how good a baker your daughter actually is, but you should look into her applying to be on Kids’ Baking Championship (it’s in the U.S.).

  41. With that attitude, I’m shocked he was able to convince someone to marry him AND have at least one child. Disgusting. I’ve known people who do this on a small scale occasionally but this over the top. I’m so sorry you and especially your daughter had to go through that.

  42. Old men are sometimes like these. In my neighbourhood it's like a plague. My grandpa and all my friends' grandpas were like that

  43. I would be really interested to know if he had a traumatic childhood where he was never good enough for anyone or if he had major dreams he never achieved. He seems to be jealous of your daughters youth and potential, whereas those days are a bit more behind him.

  44. I was wondering the same thing. It sounds like he grew up being told he wasn't good enough and never will be, so he's spent the rest of his life compensating by saying he's the best at everything, better than everyone else, constantly trying to prove himself.... To do that to children can be so damaging. He's just continuing the cycle, passing his trauma on to future generations of his family.

  45. Next time, if anything, if your daughter makes a good cake, have a second one that says “happy narcissistic Father’s Day” just saw the jerk feels entitled to a cake and have everybody mockingly say oh even though it’s your birthday praise him because he is more important than anything. I would say do something like that since he’s gonna be throwing a tantrum but also, I’m pretty sure he probably gets super psycho if you did that but it would be funny to see his reaction to the cake saying happy narcissistic Father’s Day.

  46. If this isn't regular behavior for your dad, get him with family to get him to a doctor for a check up. At his age, if this isn't normal behavior, any one of a number of things could be going on.

  47. I feel for you. My dad never threw tantrums, but he always made sure, subtly, that everyone knew he was the smartest one in the room. The thing is, he usually was. It's a pain in the butt, when both your parents are extremely intelligent and motivated people and you don't quite hit their level.

  48. Thing is he is far from it. My mom was a gifted child with all the scholarships etc. Then when I went to school I was also transferred to gifted kids programs. My brothers were also directed in that direction. Only my dad struggled in school. He finished uni but only because my mom did help him a lot. But he is adamant that he is the smartest one of all of us.

  49. I would tell him to leave, if he doesn't like seeing anyone else get attention, he can go somewhere else so he doesn't have to see

  50. I don't like your dad very much I don't have to but,... Love him as best you can. Best wishes to your daughter

  51. Is there a reason you decide that maintaining contact is the best decision for you and your kids? Seems like a grandfather I would personally not want around

  52. I have to be 1000% honest here. I grew up with a father like that. I don't have kids but if I did, I wouldn't want him around them. Even in small doses, people that narcissistic can have huge impacts on a child's self-esteem. She couldn't even have a birthday without her grandfather being a terrible person.

  53. Classic, narcissist behavior: Getting upset that a nine-year-old is getting more attention at her birthday party than he is

  54. And no one has shunned him because ? Why is a grown man acting like a butt hurt little boy when it's not his day? Hope your daughter was proud of great she is and for outshining her dimwit grandpa

  55. And everyone just watches his show and doesn't say anything? No one puts him in his place? I would not invite him anymore and if he asks why I'd tell him to his face that his personality was unbearable.

  56. My aunt does this. She did this to my 11yo sister when my sister did something artistic and my aunt had to gloat about how she (a woman in her early 50’s) put more time and detail into a similar piece.

  57. I’m no doctor but I worked in a assisted living facility for several years and that sounds like your father might have early onset Alzheimer’s. I could be very wrong, however it might not hurt for him to get checked. That behavior was quite common amongst the patients that came in with early dementia and Alzheimer’s.

  58. Lol this sounds exactly like mine! If he isn’t the main focus of ANY conversation, he will shout and swear his way to make everyone quiet. You read a book? He read 5. You go on vacation? Queue rant about him not going on vacation because he hates traveling.

  59. Sounds just like my dad. Narcissistic and always has to be the center of attention and better than you. Went no contact with him years ago because I don’t want my daughter to have to deal with what I did growing up.

  60. I’m sorry your dad is so ridiculous, but I’m smiling thinking about you and your daughter bonding over this and picturing the pride on her face when she got compliments. I was that child and trust me she’ll remember these special days. My mom would let me try pretty much any recipe I wanted to try when I was younger and even though some didn’t turn out great, the confidence it built within me is unmatched. She was and still is my biggest fan and I still bake as often as I can. 💜

  61. Beg your pardon but the 9 year old knows better. To be honest I always thought of my dad as kind of mentally handicapped

  62. Good for your daughter already learning life lessons. Hopefully your dad (her grandfather) didn't ruin her birthday

  63. I’m sure your daughter did wonderful on that cake, and make sure to tell her. It may seem simple to older people but I didn’t learn to cook until I was like 14. There’s no hope for the dad to change, he will be sad and bitter until he dies so just focus on giving your daughter the praise she deserves :)

  64. Your dad is an asshat. At least you had one parent that has an ounce of decency. Man I am embarrassed for him wat a lover and an utter weak piece of Caca (that is for your daughter) please show him this

  65. Sounds like someone has a past trauma and didn't do well and never dealt with it and then projecting it to others...

  66. I know I’ll get downvoted for this but with him being 65 I’m worried this might be a sign of dementia. If this isn’t new behavior, I would seriously consider him seeing a neurologist.

  67. I’m sure your daughter still had a great time with everyone rightfully complimenting her on her skills regardless of what her weird grandfather was doing, while your dad only embarrassed himself in the eyes of all the adults and older kids in the room!

  68. Alternatively; maybe he’s super low lonely and depressed & feeling insignificant/ unneeded and was hoping for once to have people give energy attention to him.

  69. Your father sounds like a sad man who is somehow bitter that the world doesn't revolve around him to the point he is alienating his own family.

  70. You don't have to apologize for not having English as your first language. And your dad is very... Full of himself? I'm not sure what word to use.

  71. I am sorry, I have none. Shortly before the guests arrived my youngest wanted to help me by cleaning my phone (in the dishwasher)

  72. I don’t even know your daughter and I smiled so big while I read about her baking the cake! That’s so cool! Way to go on her.

  73. Your daughter sounds like a real go-getter. Dont even bring your Dad up, make sure she knows that day was all about her and her beautiful cake.

  74. Maybe keep a pacifier on hand & everytime he acts out like this just plop it in his mouth point to a chair in a corner & say “time out time!” Lol. He is a grown man acting like an immature bratty toddler. He needs to grow up. No this cake, can u describe it? I’m really interested. I been kitchen bound since just prior to kindergarten so I get it. Regardless I’m so proud of her! You have such a special little girl.

  75. I think it would be better to just not invite him to things. Just because he’s family doesn’t mean you’re obligated to have him there.

  76. I would say that you should have smashed the cake in his face, but that would be a waste. Also seeing as how your daughter made the cake that would be inconsiderate

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