Girl I recently started dating has specific requirements

  1. This is absolutely right. To demand stuff like this shows that she I overtly materialistic and doesn't see YOU as good enough.

  2. Not to mention it will probably escalate as the relationship goes on, so flowers now, expensive jewelry later.

  3. Yeah, like what is she doing in return? Women who demand shit like this tend to think her presence and time alone is enough of a reward. What direction this woman is heading in I would run the opposite way.

  4. Some peoples love language is getting gifts and acts of service though. If they demand that then it’s not normal but if they say that’s how they receive love than it’s a legit way people feel accepted.

  5. Are you a relatively rich older guy that just want sex and is she a young hot woman that doesn't care about love?

  6. Haha is this coming from a guy who is used to sugar babies? I agree, BUT, don’t offend her - hourly? More like scaffold smartly into it. Send roses first with a gift certificate, then meet up - wine and dine, gift a piece of jewelry under $400. And don’t do less than a suite for goodness sakes. If she is with you for the weekend but you have to work leave her a card, set an appointment at the spa for her (let her chose her service) and leave spending cash for nearby stores. ($$$ amount left = Depends on stores nearby)

  7. Well like 95/100 men try to hard sell first date sex, so maybe women should go ahead and step up with totally ridiculous upsetting demands, too.

  8. That's fine if that's what she's comfortable with. But if you've been together any decent length of time and expect to continue the relationship for the next decade or two, when she asks for the flowers or the dinner (assuming it doesn't break the bank), you give her the flowers or the dinner.

  9. Red flag for sure. You will never be enough for this person. If you don't meet the specified expectations, you will be deemed unworthy. If you meet the expectations, you will have failed to "wow" her and for that will be seen as lazy and still less than adequate for her. If you exceed expectations, she will raise the expectations because you will have made them seem too low, thus mocking her.

  10. She’s allowed to set whatever standards she wants, if you can’t or don’t want to meet them then you’re not compatible. Simple.

  11. I don't mind buying gifts and flowers etc., but the time you make it a requirement for me or behave in the slightest demanding way, I walk. I'm not obligated to do anything like that.

  12. Is she in a 1990s rom-com movie? I mean yeah a nice meal out and flowers an gift is somthing most girls would like....but probably not a first date. Maybe if you've been dating a while and it was a special occasion to celebrate but not a first date.

  13. I know everyone is screaming entitlement but I’d give this a girl a chance. She knows what she wants and she communicates it. Now, if you show up with a small bouquet and she starts bitching that it ain’t big enough that’s when you leave so you don’t have to pay for her dinner.

  14. Demanding… shows a sense of entitlement which is very unattractive in any situation.. Love language being receiving gifts is okay.. however, her “demands” are a little out of place for a new person of interest in my opinion.

  15. Her requirements are for her and I get that she’s trying to let you know where she stands. I would just let her know hey we just started dating I’m still trying to get to know you and I don’t fee comfortable buying you gifts because you demand them. If it is her birthday soon then then yeah treat her to a nice dinner but if you want to, if you wanna buy her flowers then do it, or if you want to get her a nice gift do that too. You don’t have to do anything someone demands of you, gift giving and nice dinners and food is for (my belief) long term relationships.

  16. Well, I think most women want a nice dinner and flowers, but rarely ask for it. Few women expect an expensive gift right off the bat. Unless you’re interested in buying her affection, I would just politely decline, move on and block her.

  17. Nah get out of there! Also if you find problem with this youre entitled to raise concerns, like you can talk to her. The worst she’s going to do is leave if she’s a decent human being and that’s kinda what people are telling you to do now anyway, including me.

  18. Are these requirements that you are okay with? If so go with the flow if you truly like her. If this seems a bit much to you let her know and see how she takes it. If she starts off by saying guys should by default do such things for women then decide to run away.

  19. I'm certain guys have spent over $100 on first dates with me...and nothing happened. It is ok if the guy can afford it and is enjoying the outing. I would prefer to pay half or do something inexpensive.

  20. If this is where the gold digging starts who knows where it all ends. This kind of entitlement is more miserable than being single and just jerking it.

  21. If this is a girl you recently started dating, you should stop before she gets you in a financial trouble

  22. This would put me off entirely. I want someone who wants ME, not materialistic things. An expensive dinner? She just wants to show off to her friends or is using you. An expensive gift too? Cmonnnnn.

  23. There are 5 types of love languages with two of them being gifts and acts of service. You can expect this to be high on her list as she's already stated this. She's not wrong but you two may not have the same love language or the same values. An expensive dinner could be you cooking her steak/seafood, flowers are typical and a nice gift doesn't mean an expensive one it could just be a thoughtful one or something cute in relation to something you have learned about her. However that's my argument in her defense. To demand this right off the rip on the first date is a red flag, if she pouts/or is rude/changes her attitude if she doesn't get what she wants red flag, if the gifts/dates "aren't good enough" or they are never enough that's a red flag. This needs more context but I'm leaning towards her being able to get these things from most guys until they catch onto her game and they move on. But some people maybe genuinely caring, want a relationship and still have those love languages just more red flags to be aware of.

  24. If her love language is thoughtful gifts or whatever it's called, thats fine. I'm curious to know how she "requested" these things from you, though

  25. I expect that here and there my man gives me flowers and takes me out for dinner, only on bdays or anniversary or special holidays do I expect a nice gift. But if I’m expecting that from him I’m doing my share as well. I get him nice gifts, I pay to take him out too. There is also a difference in our jobs though, I work a minimum wage job, and he doesn’t, so we have a mutual understanding that he can take me out more than I can take him out. I still make sure I make him feel special in as many ways as I can. I think expecting these things is normal so long as she’s reciprocating that when she can. This can’t just be a one way street.

  26. gift giving might be her love language. this is not entitlement. she’s allowed to have set rules for herself and what she wants in a partner. if you cannot meet what she wants then let her know. but she has the right to have those demands of someone she’s wanting to date.

  27. Communication is key, these are not weird things to ask for. It’s common sense for a gentleman to be kind, polite, to give flowers, to take a girl out on a nice dinner.

  28. I mean if you don’t like it don’t be her boyfriend. She shouldn’t lower her standards, if you can’t meet them you don’t meet them

  29. A lot of the other comments here are pretty spot-on in terms of the red flags that should be going off for you, but I wanted to ask how old each of you are and then about something you said specifically: "these were her requirements for me to be her boyfriend"

  30. If you're asking yourself this question, you aren't her perfect match. Yes; in general, these demands are a bit much to ask of someone; but the perfect person out there for her will do those things without effort. At least she is being upfront with her obscene expectations LOL i say this is your red flag buddy.

  31. Sounds like she is kind of prostitute. The worst part is you might be spending money on her but not get laid, so if you ware willing to use your money on her make sure it's worth it and you will have fun too.

  32. She doesn’t like you that much. Any woman that actually liked you wouldn’t make you jump through so many hoops to spend time with her. Women treat men like this when they think they can replace him easily. It’ll just get worse if you go with it.

  33. A lot of comments here calling this girl all sorts of names but this is her standard, she stated it, you don’t know why she is the way she is or why she asks for all these things as a prerequisite to dating her you either do as she says or leave. I’ve found that some conversations or arguments are really unnecessary. Everyone has their preferences and opinions on certain things and there usually isn’t a right or wrong. It’s all about compatibility. She wants all that, there’s a girl somewhere who splits the bill on a first date and there’s another who insists on paying the entire thing. None of them is wrong or right, they have probably all met men who suit their preferences. You know what you want, what your limit is, and you might be a 50/50 guy but find that you really like her and are willing to give it chance and do the things she’s asking for. Asking a bunch of people on the internet doesn’t really help cause they each have different standards and expectations. You are the only one who knows what’s right for you.

  34. Red flag. Sounds like a potential gold digger. If she ASKS for all of that, on a first date, shes got way to high of standards, and is probably going to expect you to spoil her. Buy her them new nails, that makeup, those dresses and shoes, the expensive dinners. Major red flag to me.

  35. She might be entitled OR another explanation is that for some women, especially at the beginning of the relationship this is how they weed off the low effort guys/ non serious guys from the serious one. Jordan Peterson has a theory about such display of wealth/ ability of provide and the role it plays in courting....anyway you can choose NOT to participate....ironically driving home her belief that you were not a serious prospect .

  36. Tell her that in return you expect some physical intimacy. If its going to be transactional right off the hop, then let's keep it real.

  37. Sounds like a spoiled brat with a Disney Princess entitled attitude. The right girl deserves those things. The wrong girl demands it.

  38. Yeah she just sees you as a wallet my dude, if the only way you can please her is by spending money on her then get outta there. Once your money dries up she’ll jump to the next guy with more money than you. This is how gold diggers work. They’re never satisfied.

  39. It’s a pretty simple list. It’s not like she said take me on vacation. Getting flowers and gifts is always nice and it’s really not that common she wants someone to show they care. Also saying you want an expensive dinner varies by the person so unless she was like you have you spend 300$ on our date just take her somewhere nice where she can dress up.

  40. Everyone has different “love languages”. It sounds like hers are gifts and time. If she knows that about herself, then she’s just helping you out.

  41. I love spoiling my SO, but if she ever said something remotely like this chick did, I would be on my way. Not to mention listing those things at first date as requiments, as it is a job application. There is a tactfull way to approach this situation and there is this, whatever that girl did right there.

  42. Some people like gifts/displays of wealth. If you don’t like that, or think it’s unsustainable, you may be incompatible

  43. If that’s what she wants; that’s well within her right. If you are not the person to provide for that for her; that is ALSO well within your right.

  44. Eh money and gifts isn't love language. It's using somone for financial gain. If you love someone you don't care if that get a subway sandwich or a $1000 meal. We both know that. It's the time that you spend with them that is priceless. I get my wife tons of stuff. But she has never demanded me to do something like this.

  45. Her love language is gifts and money. It happens. If it isn't your love language, feel free to break it off 🤷‍♀️ it's very normal but everyone's language is different.

  46. Tell her that after the date you expect for her to invite you into her house and for you to have sex whenever you want any day of the month.

  47. Its not too much to ask for, everyone can want whatever they want in a relationship. If its not what you want, then its too much to ask of you personally and y'all arent compatible.

  48. It is within the realm of normality for a spoiled stuck up princess. If you want to date a woman who actually likes you for your personality rather than the size of your wallet I suggest you ditch this girl and find someone who actually wants more than just material things.

  49. what If a day comes, you cant afford An expensive dinner, Flowers or a nice gift?. Or what if she meets a person who can provide much more than you can. So what do you planning to do then? Do you see a future in your relationship?

  50. the more you give into her demands, the more she’ll make. After that she’ll try to test and push your boundaries and see how much more she can get out of you. trust me OP, the fact she even says that shit to you is a red flag. you should be doing those things for her because you want to, it’s not genuine if you only do it because she’s demanding it. i say shut the demands down by communicating this to her respectfully or maybe reevaluate if this is the right girl for you.

  51. I could easily see wanting to give these things, and have, in dating. There are also men out there who would never dream of doing these things ever. Some people have these things in their love language and some do not.

  52. Run! Don’t walk away! Only thinking of herself. No clue what a date is about. It’s spending time getting to know each other. There’s no what’s in it for me.

  53. You do you man, but I'd nope the fuck out of that situation. I don't date princesses, and you're absolutely nothing but a means to an end to someone who lays that shit on you from the outset.

  54. Let’s assume you do this, what long term sort of relationship is possible? If this is what’s required now, it only gets worse

  55. Dude, this may be downvoted but you are the prize. As a man, she should be happy that you decided to ask her out because you took initiative and are good looking. So she should make dating as easy as possible since you are a great guy.

  56. This is the first date? What will her expectations be on every other date or special occasions? Sounds like an expensive future ahead. I’ve heard of gifts being a love language, but sounds like this one is speaking her own language

  57. I wouldnt do any of that, self entitled chicks that ask for stuff by doing nothing have zero value in my book

  58. Well I don't mess with people standards. People can like whatever, and demand whatever they want to demand, but you don't have to put up with it. I would just let her know I'm not interested.

  59. That’s fine, but you must name your own Demands as well. If you both agree then fine, but she sounds ridiculous

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