If someone rejected you and then they changed their mind, would you give them a second chance?

  1. Yeah if someone said that what they thought they wanted in a partner was different from what they actually realized they want is why is very different from just things not working out with someone else so now they’re reconsidering dating you.

  2. And if it’s the person they left you for that then left them or didn’t work out, ask yourself if you want to be their second choice.

  3. I was gonna say no but I like your answer. It will allow me to be in control. At the same time though, I don’t like the word rejection. I mean it is someone I don’t know so I see it differently than rejection. People put negative feelings toward it when someone says no, I just absolutely don’t care.

  4. More so depends on the why. One dude I was interested in was talking to me and another girl, he decided him and the other girl had more similarities and thought they would be more compatible which honestly it made sense even if it did hurt to hear. A month later they broke up and he wanted me now that there wasn’t someone else in the picture, but I wasn’t interested anymore. I don’t blame him for going for someone with more common interests as him, but I didn’t want to be the back up now that the other girl didn’t work out. I want to be the first choice and not in a competition with someone, you know? If they reject you to pursue someone else, it’s shitty and more than likely they’ll do it again to you. If they’re not in the right head space (mental illness or just having a shitty time with life) than I’m open to talk again and see what happens but it really depends on their honesty.

  5. I like that you mentioned Mental Health and life struggles. I recently told a guy no cause of my social anxiety being very active and going on dates was extremely difficult for me. Now I am wondering if I explain myself, if he would be ok with continuing with me. I don't like that a lot of people jump to "second choice" stuff, like they know what is going on in a practicly stranger's life.

  6. When dating, unless you are in high school, anyone you date is not your first choice. If you've had a relationship before, anyone else is by definition not your first choice.

  7. For me it depends on the nature of the rejection. If the person can show they have been introspective and grown from their previous opinion, I could potentially at least offer the opportunity to go for coffee or get to know each other, but I would be cautious.

  8. Nah, I'm not a second choice. Learned this lesson the hard way. Things didn't work out with who they really wanted. They settled for me. Worst feeling in the world. If I ain't first pick, I ain't gonna be on your list, plain and simple.

  9. It depends on the circumstances that they rejected me. Was it something that was fixed? Like, too busy at work but now at a new job, or dealing with some health issues that have been resolved.

  10. I personally wouldn’t. But I have a friend who rejected a girl because he was still getting over his recent break up and now him and the girl he rejected have been together going on 3 years. It’s all about context and understanding why they rejected you and if that’s a good enough reason for you. Just don’t settle.

  11. I would ask what changed, what their intentions are, and base it off the sincerity + how much I initially like them. If it was a minor crush, I would pass. If it was someone I really had my eye on, I would be tempted.

  12. Yep. I’d ask if they genuinely want me or if they just ran out of options and they’re digging through the trash. I don’t want to be anybody’s backup.

  13. Depends on what you mean by rejection did you chat and ask to go on a date they said no, or you went on a date and got the sorry not what I'm looking for.

  14. Depends on what kind of rejection they used and how well we know each other. If we've only known each other briefly, I'd say they gave me a bad early impression and I've decided were not a match. If we've been friends for a long time and the rejection seemed out of character, I might look past it. Either way though, certain rejections are just not going to be let go of no matter what; I. E. calling me unattractive, or saying I'm undatable because of x y issues as if they're too good for me, etc. No one wants to be settled for.

  15. My current girlfriend initially rejected me. I left the ball in her court to take initiative if anything changed and she did, along with very honest communication about what she was feeling and thinking throughout the process let me trust her enough to give it another shot. (Also I really liked her, so that helps)

  16. Why did she reject you the first time? And how long did it take for her to come around? Did you cut contact with her in between?

  17. Had that happen to me, took them back and they changed their mind again after 2 months. Learned my lesson and will never give anyone a second chance again. If they’re willing to lose you the first time, I bet you they’ll do it again.

  18. I feel like being rejected because at the time the person wasn't into me is fine, i don't need a better explanation than that. I've also been in the position of not noticing someone at first and over time getting a crush so if i still liked them i would just be happy they like me now and go out with them

  19. There are a lot of variables at play, how much i was into the other person, the reason of the break up, the reason of the change of hearts, what changes should be made if a second chance will be given...i'd give it a 50% 50% so no definite answer.

  20. Short of them telling me something of significance to make me reconsider, I'd sadly say no. As much as I'd be thrilled, I'd know they would change their minds just as easily and cast me aside like leftovers.

  21. It depends. If that person never thought of me in a romantic way but after a while they realized the did like me in that way then yeah I can see myself saying yes to them (not like months later or anything but a few days/weeks sure)

  22. I doubt it. Personally I immediately would think they were far more interested in another individual & are currently only interested in me because the other individual rejected them. Then I would be interested in knowing why the other person rejected them, lol!

  23. Depends. Why the first rejection? Family issues but now they are able to have a partner without it causing priority issues? Work? Just because they were chasing someone else?

  24. I did this to my current bf who I have been with for 2 years. I actually ghosted him and then reached out a couple months later. I basically said "can we try again?" and he agreed. I'm so happy he did because I've never been happier in a relationship than I am now.

  25. Wow, this should be pinned at the top, if it could!!! LOL. People really need to absorb this, including me. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  26. Really depends on the context and how much our dynamic changes. What were the circumstances to them rejecting me? Maybe they weren’t in a proper headspace for a relationship at the time or they just didn’t see me like that. Maybe as they’ve gotten to know me they became interested. If it’s that scenario then I can understand the change of heart.

  27. It depends what they say but most of the time second chance are a no in my book just because they might do it again and you don't want to be that side chick for him or vice versa.

  28. Personally? No. Nothing happened to actually change their mind. They just want a fill in while they look for someone better.

  29. If you applied to a job and they said, nah you don't fit what we are looking for, we want someone with X Y and Z, and then a month later they said actually we do want you, would you take the job?

  30. i would move on. unless you still want them deep down, then give it a shot. other than that, im moving on cuz it's too weird now.

  31. It depends on the circumstance. Sometimes people (especially women) genuinely start wanting someone they initially haven’t been attracted to. That’s completely fine. If anything, it makes the connection even stronger

  32. No. Honestly, once someone says their done with me, I'm done with them. Clearly they didn't give the situation enough thought before making a decision. That's a red flag.

  33. Yes, and I would hope for the same. Matters of the heart are not black and white. Sometimes you’re just not sure.

  34. No, mostly because its just settling at that point. It would have to be like some external crisis that affected the person's ability to see anyone at the time, such as work or family (not their own struggles) then maybe I'd think about it. When you like someone its a fuck yes, a maybe is definitely not a fuck yes, and a no, then I changed my mind is usually settling for the plan b.

  35. You don't change your mind about love. It is there or it isn't. And if it isn't, that isn't going to change on it's own in a matter of days.

  36. The short answer is "no" but I reserve judgment for folks who express extraordinary reflection and commitment to a course of behavior significantly different from what they have owned before. FWIW.

  37. I would never give them a second chance because it would mean they either thought they could do better, had someone else over you and it didn't work out, or that she realized you are the best she can get after the fact all of which is disrespectful to you. There is nothing like regret, let em have some. Be that one that gives it to them and find someone who values you and sees your worth

  38. Never give a woman a second chance to reject you. A woman will only reject you if she has or thinks she can do better. And she will only come back if she realizes she can’t or is simply using you as a placeholder to not be alone until something better comes along. Either way she does not have genuine burning desire for you, you are not her first choice.

  39. God yes. Yes, please. God, please please. 🙏🏻 LOLOL, yeah, why not??! 😅🤣 (I do have my unique scenario in mind, don’t judge, LOL.)

  40. I was on the receiving end of this. Rejected them at first because I wasn’t ready, then months later I caught feelings and they gave me a second chance, nearly 5 years later and we’re still together

  41. No I wouldn't unless there were very good reasons for them to do so. And I'm not sure there would be a good enough reason so very strong no here. I don't like being kept as an option. This is how I view this

  42. Depends on why they changed their mind, and what they changed about themselves 😉 Rejection stings, but if the person genuinely wants to work on the relationship, and shows it with their actions, I’d give them a chance. If I was the one rejecting someone, and then coming back, even I would want that grace for myself.

  43. Lol a girl I got rejected by a few years ago ended up matching me on Tinder a couple days ago. I haven’t sent her a message and she hasn’t sent me anything either. Not sure if she remembers who I am. I definitely remember her though lmao.

  44. I've had that happen before. A guy I matched with on Tinder said he just got a date with this girl. They ended up not working out because she ghosted him or whatever. Anyway, he slid back into the DM's and basically I was a rebound. The second chance ended up us hanging out in his car and drinking. He planned on going back to my room to "Netflix and chill ". I told him I wasn't comfortable with that and the night ended. I would say depending on how interested/invested you are in the person, to take that chance. People change their minds all the time. It's all up to what you're willing to allow in your life. You never know. You could have a better time than I did. That being said, I shared what happened with my own disaster because I'm hoping more can learn from my experience.

  45. Probably not. I can be pretty stubborn sometimes and I think if I’ve given you a chance and you said no the first time, I’ll always questions your intentions when we start dating. I’ll never feel like a first resort. That’s just me knowing myself and how I think.

  46. If someone rejected you at first and then changed their mind, it usually means you weren’t their first choice. I move on. Don’t be somebody’s second choice. There are plenty of people out there to come back to one person.

  47. Depends. I mean if I’m already with someone else then f—k no. Missed ur chance. BUT if I’m still single AND the rejection wasn’t brutal af, then sure why not? But I would first ask why the change of mind

  48. Personally I wouldn't give them a second chance. Not because they rejected me and it made me salty but because usually if I have feelings for someone and they reject me I lose feelings right after. But thats just me.

  49. No, because if someone had a chance with me and decided not to take it, it basically means I wasn't and never will be their first choice.

  50. Depends on the reason. Was I rejected because they were in a bad state for a relationship or their life was too chaotic/busy at the time? Possibly. Was I rejected because she was seeing others/someone else? Nope. Was I ghosted? Hell no.

  51. Well I’ve never had anyone change their mind about me so idk what I’d do, but I’m dealing with my mental health issues and I’m not expecting to find anyone who would even bother with me so it’s not on my mind yet

  52. I think anyone who treats you as disposable at any time, isn't someone you want to date. I don't recommend, unless you want to end up with a person who isn't that into you.

  53. Yes I would for some circumstances like something happened in their life or they are moving on from another relationship or just not ready. I understand if they reject. Some people I would reject

  54. Depends on how they did it. If they were respectful, the door’s still open. If they chose someone else without telling me, or were just rude about it, I will close the door no matter what.

  55. Largely depends on the person I guess. There are some people that I've asked out recently that weren't interested, but are in my social circle and if they were to change their mind down the line and circumstances worked out I would definitely give them a second chance. Ball's in their court though, they'd have to take the initiative to reach out and show interest this time.

  56. No probably not, not necessarily because I’m angry or bitter about it, probably just because I don’t think their heart is in it, that they’re not 100% into it

  57. 35 M US. I think it’s circumstantial. My ex wife wanted a divorce, and got with a complete loser. If she decided I was better than him and wanted to come back, that’s a hell no! Now if a long time crush who id never been involved with beyond being acquaintances ( I worked with her mom when I was younger and devolved the crush then) recently went for a divorce. I then asked her out, and she said she wasn’t interested. If she where you come out and say she’s interested now, I’d definitely give it a shot. Same thing with a friend of hers that I DID date for a month or 2. If she came back and said she wanted to give it another try, I would give that another shot too. It really just depends on a lot of things.

  58. This is currently happening to a friend of mine. Dude got overstressed, told her she's what he wants but it's too much right now, and kinda bailed. I feel for her cause she has real feelings. As a friend, I want her to do what makes her happy but I want to scream and more at him up for ruining a good thing. In the back of hers and my mind, it's like - what if he does this again? Is this how he's going to handle all stress?

  59. It depends. I’ve had a girl do that but we talked again like 2 months after and kept hanging out. Never ended up exclusive though. Others you just forget about. It all depends.

  60. No. They clearly made up their mind and now I am the backup. Sorry luv, if I am your secind choice, how long until someone "better" than me comes along?

  61. Depends on why. If she just genuinely did not want a relationship with anybody at the time then I might be open to it. Most other cases no. It sounds like “I wanted to play the field and see if I could find anyone better but I couldn’t so I’m settling for you.” In those cases they will typically leave the second someone seemingly “better” comes along.

  62. I can say categorically yes…. Why? Because it has happened to me very recently and I honestly think I couldn’t be happier.

  63. It’s happened to me while we where under the influence a few times. So we hooked up, but they never changed their mind about seriously dating me. I’m charming but definitely not long term material. Lol

  64. Hell yes I would. They’re my soulmate. I may be the back up but I wouldn’t care. It is difficult to be with the one you really want mainly because of much it sucks when they say no the first time. So I would carpe diem!

  65. If I was still into them I absolutely would. In fact I was thinking to post a question on here asking if it would be weird for me to tell a girl that says she isn't interested or started seeing someone else after a couple dates to feel free to text me if she changes her mind.

  66. It depends, if it’s a case of they weren’t sure but then regretted after wards then yes. If it was a case of their first choice turned them down so they go to you? No

  67. Depends on situation. Guy i like now rejected me bc he just doesn’t like anyone, but if he really thought about it and changed his mind thinking we could work out romantically, I’d give it a chance. Some people just need time to figure out what they want and in what way. If they rejected me to go for someone else, then no. Probably not.

  68. I’d definitely lean towards no unless they had a SUPER good and valid reason their mind all of a sudden changed. In most cases probably not cause you literally had your chance already, that’s exactly why I gave it to you then. Cause I was interested then, at that time. Don’t mean I’m gonna wait around on someone to finally decide I’m good enough to date when I wasn’t before.

  69. Someone rejected me after three weeks of dating. I didn't hear from him for three months, then he re-appeared; sent me an email. I gave him a second chance, and we were together for 10.5 years. Then he rejected me again, lol. He tried to come back a few times after that, but I wasn't having it.

  70. Gotta show your work and give me a good reason as to why the sudden change of heart. Otherwise, what's to say you won't unchange it on a whim?

  71. It depends on what his excuse was. I was recently ghosted by someone I thought was pretty nice…and never even met up. But before I went away on vacation for some days, he texted that he wished he was there with me, and asked for me to send him pictures of me and where I was so he could live through them and it would “make his life better”. I always wondered what he meant. I sent him pics but he ghosted me after I came back. On one his Facebook posts, I also noticed he had once put up a post saying what would happen if his life was put in front of a live audience, and it shows 4 frames of him coming into his house, people booing, and the rest of the frames showed the booing continues and intensifies as he sits on his couch. So I don’t know if he gave up on trying to meet me, for whatever reason, and what state of mind he was in. He seems like a happy person, so I don’t understand.

  72. For me, No 🥺 As a woman, I know there’s a real need to know if he really likes me. If I asked to date exclusively and he said No 🤔 I highly doubt he can possibly say something that will actually make me believe the “sincerity” of liking me 😔

  73. Did they physically reject you? Telling you no etc or did they just stop contacting you as much as you’d like there may be a difference and also maybe something came up? Maybe they still needed to heal?

  74. I really don't know. I guess it depends on the situation and the person. I don't really have an opinion unless this happens. I mean I don't want to be someone's backup plan but if I had feelings for them when they rejected me and they were still there who knows what could happen.

  75. This exact situation happen to me recently. Turns out they were just trying to hustle me, so going forward I doubt I'll humor the idea with anyone.

  76. Depends on the rejection, the last person rejected me was a dear friend and someone from my close circle

  77. I’ll give you my personal example. I went on a fabulous first date with someone I’d definitely have a relationship with. He seemed quite taken with me, too. We made arrangements to see each other tomorrow night. Our first date was literally 10 days ago. I’m in therapy for trauma due to my former marriage. That trauma caused me to have anxious attachment. I am fully aware of this and have been given the tools to deal with it. However at work this past Saturday my thoughts began to race out of control. Instead of doing the exercises I was taught, I stupidly texted him and told him that “this isn’t gonna work.” He was flabbergasted. Luckily he didn’t block me or anything like that. We texted a bit. Then he put his phone down for the rest of the night as the last text I sent was delivered. The last text was that we can still give it a whirl and I apologized wholeheartedly. I admitted to the fuck up.

  78. Based from my experience, if they never liked you enough to accept you the first time (within a three-ish year period), you are probably an opportunity cost. I'd give them a second chance if our lives have changed and potentially our personality too but I wouldn't do it withing a short window.

  79. It is no for me if you don't want me and say that then you better mean it either way you don't get second chances with me but to each their own

  80. Depends on the situation and how I feel about the person. There’s one person that I’d say yes to just about anything for. Then there’s people that I don’t care about at all. Who it is matters the most.

  81. This happened with my husband and I. When we first started dating he rejected me. I moved on and he fall in love I guess

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin