1. Alternatively, if you gently shove your finger up your ass after shitting, you can have a good time and potentially a snack to reward you for your efforts.

  2. I usually just reach in with my fingers and a piece of paper and dig the shit out thats still stuck in my asshole. Does the job most of the time.

  3. Seriously, like do the people that post these memes enjoy wiping 100 times like that? They're like $30 on Amazon and the best purchase I've made in my adult life.

  4. Watching this while being in the bathroom for over 15 minutes and after using 1/3 of my toilet paper, lactose intolerance is a bitch but cheese cake taste good so what am I meant to do? Not eat it?

  5. Depends on what you eat. If you recently had a greasy meal or too and not enough water this will make your shit sticky and wiping will take longer.

  6. What is the process most people use to clean in the shower? I was told by a doctor I should start using a PH balanced soap in the shower to clean my ass instead of wiping. Interested how you guys go about it

  7. There’s a blooper in parks and Rec where Chris Pratt says he has “hot snakes” and it’s like wiping a marker

  8. if u can't get a bidet, just have baby wipes on hand exclusively for shits, saves u so much time and gets you nice and clean. of course, don't flush them, even ones that say flushable.

  9. Ha! You seeing blood by that time, pa! At that point I'm wondering if everything is alright and if I should go to the hospital...

  10. Install a bidet and you'll never wipe shit again. Unless you have a child. Or super old person. Or a pet. Or if you're a nurse. Or a mortician. Plumber. Teacher. Nanny. Cleaner. Retail worker. Or if you have a car. Or a canopy of some kind.

  11. That’s when you fold up a square of tp and stick it over your hole. The hole will eventually stop producing and the paper will keep your butt hole from being itchy till it’s time for removal.

  12. I got a water sprayer toilet attachment when the toilet paper shortage of covid hit, GET ONE! it is amazing i have almost never had this problem again, it needed an extension cord so buy that too. It even can heat the water and I use soap. I will never go back.

  13. For me it happens once a day every time after I wake up and wash it with soap right after. It’s a nice feeling to always have a clean butt hole. Wiping with toilet paper is like using deodorant instead of showering

  14. Push up against the rim of your asshole and your taint to expel the final nugget leaving a stain on your tissue.

  15. Every time a thread like this is posted, the subject of bidets inevitably comes up. So I have this ready to be pasted because anyone who was underwhelmed by using a bidet needs to try...

  16. Pro tip: You can use less toilet paper if you poke your finger through the middle of a single sheet of toilet paper, then put that finger up your arse to scoop out the fecal matter, then use the toilet paper on your finger to clean up.

  17. That’s why I don’t shit at work it’s just an inconvenience and you feel dirty after cause you’re second guessing yourself if you got it all

  18. This is why I switched to wet wipes and have a bidet now. Whe that brown turns to red so many time, there needs to be a change.

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