Family picture imploding

  1. I think, if he wants to go scorched earth, he'll probably wait until very late in the divorce proceedings to present documentation of you having sex with your AP and then he'll demand you let him keep all the money or else he'll leak it to the public. You should prepare for anything.

  2. The grass that is greenest... is that which is watered. You have BOTH ignored your own yard in order to water elsewhere. Zero surprise here.

  3. I lurk in the infidelity subs a lot and my guess is he knows about your affair. When they find out it's very common they don't say anything and go consult with a divorce attorney. It's also the advice they give out so the betrayed spouse can get an edge over the cheating one. I would check your finances see if he is moving anything.

  4. You cheated on him. Why are you so surprised he's seeing a divorce attorney? You knew this was a risk and would probably happen when you started having an affair.

  5. Honestly, he has the right if he wants to do that. I've cheated on past relationships, and I've been cheated on. I'm sorry, but it's nothing fun about it, and it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's just not worth it to me.

  6. You may want to sit down with your husband and put everything on the table. If you really want things to work, you need to take the steps to fix them

  7. I mean, it seems like at this point there is nothing left to salvage. If he wanted to fix their marriage he wouldn’t be talking to a divorce attorney.

  8. You took the risk, it is what it is. Divorce isn't the end, maybe something you should have done yourself before getting a AP. See it as a new start.

  9. You are cheating on your Husband and YOU want to confront him for seeing a divorce lawyer. Does anyone else see the irony in this situation?

  10. What is it that you actually want? If you want to stay married, why exactly do you want to stay married? Why is him contacting a divorce attorney so bad?

  11. You haven't had sex with Him in over a month. Your cheating on Your relationship. And You think He's happy because You don't nag Him as much? As soon as You got a FWB, You had to know divorce was a possibility.

  12. You should talk to a divorce lawyer. If you’re in a no-fault state, then it doesn’t matter that you’re cheating, everything built during the marriage is split 50/50, and most courts are in favor of joint custody (if you have kids). You need to get informed, asap! Then go from there.

  13. We assuming he knows about AP. He may just be tired of you and wants out. Marriage was going well for you, but maybe not for him regardless of AP being in picture.

  14. This is usually the fate of an adulterer when not being safe and discrete. Not going to say the "You deserve it" BS, but don't be so surprised that your husband wants a divorce.

  15. I was google searching child support calculators before I ever even discovered an affair with no intent of divorcing.. Could just be a false alarm, he suspects something, or is frustrated with the lack of sex.

  16. We cheat understanding what the consequences can be. My heart would be destroyed if my husband left me, but that hasn't stopped me from having sex with other men, so I have to accept whatever happens if he ever finds out.

  17. I wouldn't confront him and I would start protecting yourself and get your ducks in a row to start going through a divorce. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

  18. Almost like how she went behind his back with zero communication with an affair? Or right, I guess you believe communication and respect is a one-way street…

  19. All I will say is that maybe you two aren't good for each other and should divorce regardless. Sounds like he pushed you towards cheating, and neither of you guys are making the relationship closer than "I'm no longer getting yelled at"... Relationships go both ways, look and see if he's trying to make it better, then look at yourself, then look at the overall situation as well. Maybe cheating is a sign that you should be with someone else rather than with someone who doesn't fulfill ur needs and someone who just starts arguments with you. Also remember it goes both ways

  20. (Disclaimer: betrayed childX2 + betrayed exSO + Bipolar II with hypersexuality + in a happily exclusive relationship of 16+ years sans infidelity after many years of happy ENM + possessor of many nontraditional opinions on life and relationships.)

  21. That's a risk you were willing to take when you started having an affair, you have to be willing to live with the consequences as well. Also, it's pretty telling that one of your first reactions isn't to end it with your AP but instead asking yourself if you should warn him about your husband knowing and possibly exposing him to his wife lol

  22. Just want to make sure that I read this right, he’s likely leaving her for being deceitful and your advice is to double down on the lie and engage in abuse? Just trying to make sure I understand this sub fully condones emotional abuse as a healthy form of marriage.

  23. Have you had a recent fight? I know plenty of men who have an argument and think “fuck this” and call a divorce attorney. Could he be having an affair? Anything else off? Do not fess up to AP.

  24. I snooped through his phone because I thought he might have his own ap. That’s when I found the number. We haven’t fought at all. Which now that I wrote that I see how obvious it should have been. We always have little fights. I thought things were getting better when he sobered up and started going to the gym.

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