First user who comments below

  1. I'll be the guy that holds the coffees that we brought for some reason like we were just out on the town and happened to stop in for this real quick

  2. I do some public speaking, let me know if you need any pointers, or help, or want me to pretend to be you... look I need exposure and this sounds sweet

  3. I literally had a conversation yesterday with a few neighbors and we all agreed that if you have hate for dolly I’m immediately suspicious of you

  4. See I wanted to say „If she were still alive definitely Betty White“ but you brought me the next best solution, so Ima go with that

  5. She has the biggest hair, shiniest clothes, and biggest smile; she is among our wisest elders, she is super welcoming, and I'm sure any extraterrestrial would believe she is an impressive leader among humans!

  6. Came here to say this. The only human I know with the kindness of angels. She represents the best we can be.

  7. And Keanu reeves. The perfect ambassadors for humanity. Unless of course the aliens have nefarious intentions. We certainly wouldn't want to sacrifice our national treasures. If this is thr case send the worst we have

  8. Snoop gets them high, Martha cooks a meal. Next thing you know they’re in the D..O…double G, Y’s next video and one of them get rung up for insider trading.

  9. I honestly feel like the UN should have this decided. Like they should hold a vote on who gets to hold the power of negotiating on behalf of the human race. Maybe have like 12 people on the list 2 per continent so that there is always some sort of local authority over the situation, and then the representatives from the other continents can travel to the site of first contact to help with negotiation as needed

  10. Demonstrating our lack of leadership may not be a good idea haha “Just as we thought, they’re disjointed as a species…start the annihilation!”

  11. I'd vote for Angela Merkel for Europe, she's a smart woman and I'd feel comfortable with that choice. But who would represent us and Canada? Maybe one of them should be Obama?

  12. Donald Trump. If you don't like us at our worse, you don't deserve us at our best. Alternatively putin. This is a joke btw

  13. I mean, if we felt a threat coming, showing them we are low intelligence and not worth the effort is def an option…”They elected him? Ack Ack, let’s just go to the next one huh? Ack Ack!”

  14. The problem with this is he would endear himself to them so quickly they would just grab him up and take him back their home planet.

  15. Do they have to be alive? If not, George Carlin. He’d be all “this place is fucked up, get me out of here! While we’re at it, might just wanna neutralize the whole place and start over.”

  16. Great pick, imagine the benefit to earth if they could bring him back…we need him today more than ever! “Ack Ack?”…”No these guys are fucking idiots, you wanna talk to the Canadians.” 🤣

  17. In case it’s like Mars Attacks we need to first send in Ted Cruz. If they don’t zap him with lasers then we can drag him out and send in Earths real ambassador, Dolly Parton

  18. Jane Goodall. I imagine her anthropological insight and immense knowledge of primate body language is probably going to be useful even if they’re not primates. I would also like to see the top linguist and mathematician on hand as well.

  19. No one with any American political views. TBH. Hell I’m not sure us Americans should be the spokesperson for a first impression on any level.

  20. Absolutely not. He has shown extreme close-mindedness toward the possibility of alien life contacting Earth to the point that he arrogantly condescends to other researchers who explore the topic. Everyone knows his stance. On top of that, he doesn't even contribute to the scientific community in a meaningful way anymore. Just Google how much research he's completed in the last twenty years, and compare it to legitimate scientists.

  21. Me. I will also volunteer myself to return with them to their home planet as ambassador. Forever, please. I mean uh- that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for humanity, or something.

  22. No one is going to want to come talk to us. They are going to hang out at the edge of the galaxy and wave other aliens around like we are a big messy wreck.

  23. Duh, anyone from a trailer park in the deep south, already seen and spoke with them, that's way they haven't returned

  24. Terry Crews. Send someone both huge, string and powerful but also calm and intelligent. If things go well Terry is a fantastic speaker if things go bad....well it's Terry time.

  25. Well, Trump of course bc he’s the best greeter of aliens in the all the universe. No one will have ever greeted aliens better and all aliens love him and tell the universe to come to our beautiful Earth

  26. Donald Trump. If they vaporise the mofo, we all know they need to be welcomed with open arms. If they are impressed by him, well then we're done for right?

  27. Trump… our sacrifice for anal probing and study.. his ego will totally force him to step up.. we just need to show them an autopsy video so they know what to do… some bdsm anal porn videos etc…

  28. I vote for us to just put a Chimpanzee as our frontman, that way if things go poorly at least we start the Armageddon with a 1x0 k.d score and the aliens would be probably traumatized from seeing the hairy weird human rip their delegate face oof while screaming in what they believe to be one of our multiple languages.

  29. You visit a human like planet and knowing what you do about mankind on Earth, who would you want to speak to first?

  30. You see, my dear aliens, being an advanced species, we make our stupidest member the President of our country for 4 years at a time and we let him yell all of the nonsense that he wishes at us. This keeps us humble.

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