My libido is sky high right now and would like a vibrator. Boyfriend considers vibrators as a form of cheating! Do most men share this viewpoint and am I being selfish?

  1. I was just wondering what you were getting out of this … he doesn’t go down on you, doesn’t want you to have a vibrator - do you even get off when you two are intimate? He sounds selfish as hell.

  2. I was married to this kinda guy. RUN. He has an interest in getting off … on you not getting off. There’s no fixing that. Years of therapy failed. He likes you not having a good time… when clearly he doesn’t feel the same about his own sexual pleasure.

  3. 100 this!! Why is it always you that has to change to make him happy? If he isn't taking care of you there is someone who can.

  4. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 you Will have a better and more fulfilling sex life alone with a new vibrator :) RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Sounds like he wanted an inexperienced woman so he wouldn’t have any pushback about the woman’s pleasure.They’ve been together for 8 years and there’s a 5 year gap. Wich means they started dating when she was 18 years old and fresh out of high school and he was 23. I have nothing against age gaps. A 5 year age gap is nothing when you both have life experience but the fact that she was 18 and just graduated high school and he was 23 and had all the power in the relationship and still does is wat makes it cringe.

  6. Yeah, nah, fuck that. Bought my missus all of the ones she owns. Only an insecure man-child would consider it cheating. AND the MF watches porn during the act? How do you kiss him goodnight when his head is stuck up his own ass?

  7. Can’t emphasize this enough. The guy sounds like a deadbeat hypocrite. Watches porn while you go down on him then says you can’t use toys of your own?? Might be a good question for him….🚩🚩

  8. This is 100% a narcissist that she is dealing with and it’s going to be hard af to leave him because they have been together for 8 years and she’s endured at least that long of emotional and mental abuse.

  9. This!! My husband loves buying toys for me and watching me use them or using them on me. Also check the ages..yeah he's a selfish prick

  10. Hahahaha why would he let HIS sex toy be able to act like a whole person with thoughts and feelings?? OP WAKE UP!! He’s literally using you as a sex toy and you’ve let him trample all over you and your bodily autonomy, not to mention self respect. My love, a Good partner in life will want you to feel the best you can! Will want to make pleasure a Team effort. I’m sure this is the tip of the iceberg for how badly he’s treated you. If you find yourself having to make excuses for him all the time, him getting mad when you want your own free time or to go out with friends, these are the hallmarks of a toxic relationship. I’m sure he always takes an issue when it comes to you wanting to do something nice for Yourself.

  11. So he watches porn while you go down on him but you using a vibrator is cheating?? What in the fuck lmao. I don’t know you or know much about you but if he would prefer to watch porn instead of having sex with you, you are worrying about the wrong thing. Vibrators can be determental if they are over used but they can also be great if you add it to your sex life. I see you giving all the effort and him doing nothing but barking out all the commands. This may be extreme but find someone who appreciates you because you are going above and beyond.

  12. I was also gonna say this he watches porn but she’s cheating because she wants a vibrator, what a double standard.

  13. Jesus I was expecting this to be the opinion of a young guy not a grown ass man. Also didn’t think he could get worse, but he’s fine with him watching porn and doing it while you’re there literally giving him head??? Your partner is a fucking weirdo like there is no other way to put it. He clearly does not think your pleasure is a priority and has insane double standards. He’s the selfish one.

  14. Um, you are being manipulated horrendously. Go buy the biggest, prettiest dildo/vibrator you want and use it. You sex drive is high because you clearly aren’t having your needs met. Do NOT go down on him while he watches porn. Tell him you are right here. If a vibrator is cheating, so is watching porn.

  15. Oh my god!!! Does he finish you off after you go down, while he watches porn? That sentence alone makes me sad for you! He’s using you as a masturbatory tool! Sex is about connection, enjoying one another, having fun, stress relief, giving and receiving, and loving how what you do thrills your partner, you watching their reactions. That’s my favorite part! What he’s doing is selfish. So does he expect you to not have any sexual desire or desire to orgasm?!

  16. I have no other context for your relationship so I won't draw conclusions, but no: using toys is not cheating. If it is, then porn is worse because it's literally other people.

  17. Going by his logic watching porn should also be considered cheating. It’s not. Neither is using sex toys. There’s even fun ones that partners can use together.

  18. Sounds pretty controlling and insecure if you ask me. I've bought my girl not one but TWO in our time together. Just don't get some massive black dildo and make him feel some type of way. But sounds like you do enough for this guy as is.

  19. What's wrong with a massive black dildo though if that's what she enjoys? That's not making someone feel something, if a guy feels threatened by that that's something he needs to work through.

  20. First of all you shouldn't get permission from him, second it's your body so go ahead and try it...... sorry but going by the few things you said here he sounds like a controlling prick

  21. His insecurities shouldn't be you're issue. He's projecting those feelings, all while being a hypocrite. If a vibrator is cheating, why is it ok for him to watch porn while you provide sexual favors? Also, vibrators are amazing and you should definitely get one.

  22. So he considers a vibrator a form of cheating but not porn? Girl, run 😭 the vibrator will please you sooo so so much more than he does. My boyfriend loves using toys on me, it makes the experience so much better. You'll find someone a hell of a lot more worth it than he is.

  23. He’s only worried you’ll like it more than you like sex with him. He sounds like a douche if he isn’t willing to help you explore. Also, who doesn’t want to have more sex? Is he just lazy?

  24. If using a vibrator is cheating, so is him looking at porn. And if he won’t go down on you, quit blowing him. Fair Is fair.

  25. There are many better men out there you know? Better hit the road, 26 years old and a high libido, go find greener pastures.

  26. Ma’am I’m gonna keep it 100% with you- this guy either doesn’t like women or he doesn’t like you. Like, at all. OR, he has a really fucking bad porn addiction issue. Watching porn while having what sounds like an angel from the heavens literally right in front of you going down on you is just weird.

  27. bestie leave his ass, I know it’s been eight years but holy shit he’s one controlling misogynistic motherfucker, I can promise you he views you as nothing more than a toy. Get. The fuck. Away. Nowwwwwwwwwww. Run girly.

  28. Haha you will like it, that’s his real problem…also watching porn isn’t cheating but a vibrator is? Dude sounds crazy selfish.

  29. Nope, I’d rather my wife have her toy’s. Better then her finding a boy toy. Only insecure men are intimidated vibrators & sex toys since they can’t get the job done.

  30. Him watching porn is CHEATING yet you using a vibrator on YOURSELF is cheating in his eyes? Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Fuck that man (no pun intended) I say ditch his ass and find someone who isn’t a narcissistic man-child

  31. Girl, get out. This man is controlling and knows he can keep doing it because he started dating you when you were a child and he was a grown ass adult

  32. Reverse psychology his ass and tell him that you think its cheating when he beats his junk in the shower every morning. Or when he watches porn.

  33. I don't think it's cheating if you're using it yourself. If som guy other than your husband uses it on you that's cheating.

  34. Uhm in my opinion if my man watched porn on his phone while I went down on him I’d probably rock him in the face instead of continuing. He doesn’t even go down on you???? Leave him! A vibrator is cheating but he watches porn while u go down on him??? Baby girl this got me angry for you . Find a better man. I don’t condone cheating but if a girl were to cheat this would literally be the reason

  35. My friend brought me my first bullet and we used it together. It was Heaven. I still use them bc I’m single.

  36. Short term solution: Order the Crave Vesper vibrator. It looks like a necklace and he won’t even know. Long term solution: Keep the necklace, not the man.

  37. You're young and need to see what else is out there. This guy sounds like a douche and you deserve better. The only reason he doesn't want you to have sex toys is because he knows it will replace him because he's not satisfying you like he should be. Run.

  38. oh my god, the "he's probably gay" responses are absurd. I mean, it's not impossible, but a far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far more likely explanation is that he's just an asshole.

  39. Why you are with someone like that? And why tf are you asking his opinion? Does he watch porn? That's also ""cheating""!

  40. He told you that you wouldn’t like it? - that part made me laugh. You’re gonna like it, a LOT. Your boyfriend is selfish, insecure and most likely a lousy lay. Get the vibrator.

  41. He thinks you having a vibrator is cheating and watchs Porn while you blow him (He is definitely not thinking about you when you do that, most probably imagining fucking the girl in the porno so yeah that’s no good) and he doesn’t even make any effort to really pleasure you. RUN. You might ignore this advice because you have already been in a relationship with this dude for 8 years but you’re still young and can still start over. Believe me it will be one of the best decisions you ever make if you decide to leave him (if you stay with him the you from 10 years in the future will be regretting not leaving him right now but if you do leave him you will definitely be like why didn’t I do that sooner). I don’t know this guy but trust me when I say this that there are tons of guys who will do anything to be in a relationship with you and they will all treat you better then this guy. Just gather some courage and break up with him.

  42. A 23 year old groomed an 18 year old and won't satisfy her needs. Now he's upset that she wants a healthy and functional sex life. Fuck him, leave his sorry selfish ass. Also, most guys are totally cool with vibrators and toys, it's impossible to cheat if no other person is involved. He's definitely a loser.

  43. Also sounds like he's getting addicted to porn. Very common I've read. I'm sorry but I would not put up with him.

  44. Selfish? Pleasurably doing what you want with your own body? On your own time? I'm sorry but lol do not take that shit seriously. It is ridiculous. Your guy sounds insecure as hell and I'm sorry. AND HE'S A SELFISH LOVER. NO. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT. I wasted a lot on guys who did this because I thought it was normal, but it never felt right, I was never satisfied. And the fact that you want a vibrator says you're not satisfied either! I would look elsewhere.

  45. Your bf sounds like an insecure 12 year old boy. He’s also a hypocrite, so he’s allowed to go off and watch other people get naked online (some people actually do consider this to be a form of cheating) but god forbid you use a masturbation toy?

  46. In my relationship, porn (of others, anyways.. we make our own) - is a no go for us. I know most relationships are different, but that would've been a done deal for me.

  47. so he can watch strangers fuck while you go down on him but you cant please yourself without him? he sounds like a very selfish lover lol he doesnt even go down on u in return. Im sorry youve been having what sounds like 1 sided sex for so long. Does he care if u get off ever? this is a weird thing to be upset ab. sex toys are team mates, not competition

  48. If it’s not cheating for him to watch porn why would it be cheating to use a vibrator? Who exactly would you be cheating with? Dude sounds super controlling and insecure imo. Wants everything for him but gives nothing for you.

  49. My bf bought vibrators to use on me. Your bf is selfish if you can't use a toy, but he can watch porn while you get him off. That isn't fair to you. Just because he doesn't get you off doesn't mean you don't deserve to get off at all.

  50. lol not like it? He’s definitely insecure that you would like it more than him 😂 I would advise you to get the toy and dump the boy

  51. Wait! Using a vibrator to pleasure yourself is cheating, but watching other people fuck isn't???! I don't understand the logic. Neither is cheating, in my opinion. You're not selfish for wanting one!

  52. He sees a toy as competition and only gets it up from porn. That's not a man, that's an insecure boy on the waiting line to become one of those extreme incels.

  53. I bought vibrators for my gf and I'm happy she can use them during sex to have more fun. Not sure what his problem is or what his insecurities are?

  54. Ummm. I like to watch my SO go to town on herself. If she ever wanted to get one, I’d be like yes plz!

  55. is this real? jesus, i’ve bought my partner probably something like 10 or 11 vibrators and we play with them together, he cannot dictate what you do with your body during your free time? dump him and consider it a learning experience, you’re still young and deserve much much better. if he’s that selfish and inconsiderate in the bedroom i don’t even want to imagine what he’s like outside of it

  56. You’re not being selfish, he’s just scared the vibrator is gonna do a better job than he could. And by the looks of how u describe ur sex life, he’s right, the vibrator would do better. He’s restricting ur pleasure to protect his ego. Which is actually selfish of him to do. He’s also not working to please you at all, which is another example of him being selfish.

  57. Your boyfriend needs to chill. Toys and high libido are a blessing. If he is feeling insecure, include him on the use of it and put on show! Everyone wins and will make a strong connection for you both. Plus you get to try new things and expand the fun for you both! My wife and I use toys and we have outstanding sex.

  58. Holy shit you’re dating the most selfish guy ever. Are you ok with having a terrible sex life? Like honestly I don’t even know how you could redeem it

  59. Honestly OP if someone read this aloud to you you’d be saying that she should lose the deadweight, take the advice

  60. Fuck that. I'm bi. My man bought me a couple different dildos. When I was dating woman I thought it was the sexiest thing ever when she would use with with or without me. I absolutely love going down and performing oral too. One girl was weirded out when I gave her a rimmy, but she absolutely loved being going down on and I'd like to thank her for enjoyment and experience in it.

  61. Wtf. As a guy the idea of my gf owning a sex toy is pretty hot. I’ve used them on a former gf. They’re great. Fuck him, that’s very controlling and weird

  62. Not getting oral is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard, that alone would be enough for me to dump him and then you throw in him watching porn while you suck him off?! Wtf!!! Girl I hope you’ve had an orgasm in your life but it sounds like that probably hasn’t happened. A 5 year age gap too when you started dating (looks like 18 & 23?) is pretty big and at that age you’re at completely different stages of your life. He has been manipulating you for years

  63. No he's just insecure and selfish and incredibly bold to watch porn and basically ignore you while you're giving him head

  64. He is an asshole. If he watches porn and has an issue with you getting a toy he is the biggest hypocrite in the world.

  65. The biggest red flag here is your boyfriend thinks a sex toy is cheating. He is equating a sex toy to a whole man. One is an inanimate object and one is a breathing person. Your boyfriend is a huge asshole and is controlling you. He watches porn while you give him head? HE WONT EVEN LOOK AT YOU? That is disgusting of him. He literally sees you as an object. No person should prefer sex over their partner. You need to love yourself and get the hell out of this relationship. My boyfriend would never say I cheated if I got a vibrator because he respects me and loves me. Your boyfriend clearly does not respect you.

  66. Sooo he’s manipulated you. No, using a vibe isn’t cheating; my husband uses mine on me, it’s great. Also, ew, he doesn’t reciprocate oral on you? Girl he is insecure about YOU, not vibrators. And you’re not getting orgasms, that’s a tragedy cries

  67. I would rather my wife ride a piece of plastic or whatever than to ride a real dick. Plus it makes it fun to introduce that as part of foreplay. It only a bad thing if you ignore real sex for a vibrator. So does he not flog the dolphin?

  68. Wow! He is only after his own pleasure and doesn’t care about yours at all. Time to move on from him and find someone who actually cares about your sexual needs as much as you care about theirs. Get a vibrator and tell your ex how great it is and how easily it makes you orgasm.

  69. No OP you're not being selfish... He is. He watches porn while you go down on him, he never makes a move on you and he's against you owning a vibrator? He honestly sounds incredibly controlling and toxic. He considers using an inanimate object to pleasure yourself "cheating" (it's not btw) yet he watches videos of living people going to town on each other (or on themselves) and that's not considered cheating? Idk I've never been in a sexually intimate relationship with anyone so maybe watching porn in a relationship isn't actually cheating, maybe it is... But by his standards, using a vibrator to pleasure yourself is cheating while watching porn is not? Your boyfriend is raising some serious 🚩🚩 to tell you the truth...

  70. A male opinion, I don't consider sex toys as cheating. If anything I find watching partner use toys is very arousing.

  71. This feels like a heavily one sided relationship. If Dude is allowed to watch porn AND get head, the least he could do is either reciprocate or get used to the idea that woman like to feel good too.

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