She unmatched me, perhaps she took it the wrong way? Or was I being a try hard? (I’m from US, moved to UK)

  1. Personally as a woman, I’d love this type of message because most openers now are always sexual or something stupid. This is a great conversation starter in my opinion, she just wasn’t the one babes.

  2. This sub has convinced me that a significant number of the dating pool has no idea how to communicate with people without being insulting or rude. Like, wtaf?

  3. I feel like it would read differently if it started as "90s grunge girl" even though most everyone old enough to date knows what "grungy" means in this context.

  4. Seriously I’ve never seen a comment that read like they were desperate for a manic pixie dream girl without actually using the words manic pixie dream girl. I would’ve unmatched with the quickness too

  5. “I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could totally be drinking whole if you wanted to.”

  6. No. It’s just not a very nice thing to say; “I like your look as it probably matches your fake personality.” I can see why she reacted like she did as most would.

  7. If I were her I would assume this was an insult. Especially the "because it completes the outfit" gives the same vibe as "oh you like that band? Name 5 songs"

  8. What are they? Literally just cigarettes? Most people wouldn’t consider being called a smoker very flattering

  9. I was at a music festival in canada that is close to the us border so my camping neighbors were from the us. They of course wanted to know slang and stuff. Well at night one of them wanted a cig and asked me "hey what should we say to the camp over there if we want a smoke?" Of course said theyre called darts. They were too lazy to walk over but eventually someone walked by and the people asked "hey you got a smoke" and the person replied "naw we're out of darts." And i just laughed and said told you so.

  10. Lol northwest canada, darts is super common around here but when someone first said “I need a pack of darts” about 8 years ago I had no idea what they meant

  11. Brit guy here, won't lie it seems like a bit of an insult imo. Also as said before darts is only mentioned here as a sport rather than cigarettes.

  12. "let me tell you about yourself on the first message" is always a turn off and is usually 50% of a woman's inbox

  13. It wasn't even that part for me as I get the grunge style from the 90s. More so saying she'd smoke cigarettes for her image. Absolutely ridiculous.

  14. Especially because given the photo, she’s not grungy at all? And if some dude told me I looked like I smoke cigarettes of all the god awful things just to look cool, I would unmatch also.

  15. You completely disrespected her, suggesting she was shallow and only cared about her appearance. If you can’t see that, you’re an idiot.

  16. If my first impression is this might be negging I unmatch. Next time go with a compliment that doesn't need explained.

  17. How old are you OP? I'm not sure what about that outfit screams "grunge" to you... Ignoring the blatant insult on the back end of the comment of course

  18. I can’t come up with any scenario in which I’d take “you look like you’d smoke cigarettes because you think it looks cool” as a compliment.

  19. Honestly, the part about you commenting on her being a grungy 90's looking girl who may or may not smoke darts (or cigarettes) is fine, it's the very next part where it can be taken entirely the wrong way, 'because it completes the outfit'.

  20. Bro even chicks who like to “smoke darts” (horrible word choice) would never appreciate you assuming they do

  21. What're you, Canadian? Cuz I am, and if I didn't already know smoking "darts" means "cigarettes" than I'd probably assume it means "sucking dick". Especially if I was from the UK. 🎯

  22. Every reply in this thread comes off like they're not actually taking any of this seriously at all despite being the one that asked for help. Maybe I'm wrong here but the attempted pickup line combined with their attitude in this thread makes me think she dodged a bullet honestly.

  23. Yeah from this post alone I can tell OP is an absolute piece of fucking shit and can burn in hell. He should be castrated before disgracing this earth with more offspring from his pathetic excuse of a genetic line.

  24. 'Reddit, I sent a girl a picture of my dirty asshole and captioned it 'still prettier than your face,' and she unmatched me! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!'

  25. Seems like you’re just judging her based on her appearance/ style and it doesn’t even seem like a compliment. This will definitely backfire multiple times. I’ll definitely unmatch right away. What kind of response were you looking for? “Thank you” ? I wouldn’t know how to respond to this lol.

  26. Totally get what you’re going for. But if you say something like this and it isn’t accurate, it could totally be misconstrued as insulting even though I can see you didn’t mean it that way at all.

  27. Nothing wrong with just asking how her day is going or what she’s into. You obviously found her attractive since you matched with her. No need to go into her “aesthetic” until you’ve established a rapport.

  28. Well for starters, you insulted her. Don't act like you didn't say that for the screenshot. 🙄

  29. You literally just started shit talking her from the get go. I’d unmatch and probably report you for bein an ass lol

  30. Idk man, I might be reaching but I feel like “you’ve got a solid aesthetic” is such a robot (not in the r9k sense) thing to say…

  31. British lad here, I personally would be like wtf if someone said this to me I guess we just don’t do this. Feel free to message me if you have specific questions about what to say and not say :)

  32. Ngl that's a hilarious opener, but not for her unless she's got a super self depreciating sense of humor.

  33. Since when can we not take a joke, you did nothing wrong, keep calm and carry on as they say.. sometimes you got to be lucky if you “dodged” boring..

  34. I got told once I looked like a girl who liked to get baked af. And like... where they weren't wrong... I was also angry.

  35. Yeah that type of American off colour humor doesn’t work on the Brits. Loved there for a while, know first hand.

  36. Even using aesthetic is weird, why not just keep it simple and if that's what you want to say, start with I like your look, not aesthetic or referring to it as solid. What does that even mean, a hardbody? Although I'd ditch that all together and start with something simpler.

  37. I gotta say this here. The best piece of conversation advice I received was to ask open ended questions whenever speaking to someone new. Who, what, where and why? You passed judgement without knowing anything about her.

  38. Honest to god I don’t know how you could possibly have expected another outcome. Shit seems hella rude and sarcastic

  39. A lot of women will immediately unmatch someone who is negging them. Whether or not this was your intention, it’s how it came off and is considered a huge red flag

  40. It’s called negging. You gave her a back- handed compliment. It’s the equivalent to pulling a girl’s pony tail on the playground. Please grow up.

  41. One of the most important rules to remember is to not talk about a woman’s looks early on. Dont compliment or criticize. It will backfire most of the time

  42. I’m American and in this moment I can see why the world hates us. Just like.. don’t talk to women. It’s probably for the best

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