Females - have you seen a male therapist?

  1. I currently have a male therapist and he's the best therapist I've had. We've talked about things related to sex and honestly it wasn't any more awkward than it would have been with a female therapist for me personally.

  2. My current therapist is a male, and he's about 45 years older than me. He's honestly fantastic! He's a trauma therapist, so he's very well informed about sex and abuse. I think it's worth a shot to try out a male a therapist, and if it doesn't work for you, that's okay, too. I personally have a lot of trust issues with other females, so a male therapist is the better fit for me.

  3. Mine’s 10 or 11 years older; I’m a week shy of 28 so he’s probably 38 or 39. (He mentioned being 36 once when I was 25.) That’s a nice gap that gives him an older brother vibe.

  4. I would hate having a male therapist. It would work for some people but not for me. If you don’t feel comfortable with a male therapist you are under no obligation.

  5. Maybe you could tell him in advance or at the first session that you're uncomfortable being alone in a room with a man. Most therapists are understanding about things like this. Maybe you can have your seat close to the door? And he could sit a bit farther away from you, if that would help. I personally need my back to the wall with the door either visible or easily accessible, preferably both. And when we do EMDR I know we're supposed to sit very close, almost to the point of knees touching, but that's just way too far into my personal space bubble so she kindly sits as close as I will allow, which is definitely not knees almost touching! But I've also noticed she's been scooting closer each time, and this last time we processed she was actually sitting very close and I was okay with it. So anyway, I want to say if you are open to trying therapy with a male therapist, you have every right to establish your safety boundaries in the first few minutes and its unlikely that he'd be offended in any way. It'll probably be nothing new to him.

  6. I have a male (and female) therapist and we talked about how I can expect to feel safe with him alone in a room and he told me the boundaries and I would have with each other. The sex stuff was I guess a bit awkward but I think it was fine and he reassured me that he hears intimate stuff from clients all the time.

  7. Good to know! Oh, I've just never had a male therapist so it seems like it would be awkward alone with a guy I'm not friends with/dating/relative.

  8. I have a male therapist, but it’s remote therapy. I would say it took a bit to build up to being comfortable talking to him about whatever. He’s really good, though, and now I just see him as my therapist, and I talk about anything and everything. A skilled therapist with strong boundaries will help you to feel comfortable in the space. You can bring up your concerns in the first session, and gauge his response. It might be a topic you return to several times, and that’s okay. If he’s the right fit for you, he will help you work through that discomfort.

  9. Thank you. Did you start your relationship with your therapist remotely? I feel like not meeting in person at the start would make me feel like we don't have the closeness I need.

  10. Dear ferengi, I am female and I have worked with 3 different male therapists. They're just like male physicians, nothing to be worried about. If you have such fears about males that you can't see a health professional because of their gender, maybe discuss that in therapy, too.

  11. I don’t think she necessarily needs to discuss that in therapy. We’re allowed to choose whoever we feel comfortable with. Sometimes women can understand certain issues/experiences easier than men. Same as a therapist of color would understand certain experiences of another person of color a lot more in depth than a white person would. Whether we like it or not, or we’re aware of it or not, our identities play an important role in this sometimes.

  12. I prefer a male therapist so I am not sure if I can provide the same perspective that you are concerned about.

  13. so im a guy, but honestly hated seeing guy therapists idk why it was just easier for me to open up to a girl. not sure if that works in reverse but if you dont think youll be comfortable opening up to a guy therapist then you wont be comfortable! listen to ur heart if that makes sense

  14. I think it does work in reverse for some of us.As I am a girl and also feel that easier plus more comfort to talk to a boy/male & idk the reason why as well.Interesting that someone is like me

  15. My psychologist is a man about 5 years older than me. I have moments where I'm anxious about him but most of the time I think he's great. I have issues getting emotionally vulnerable with men, and seeing this therapist has really helped me get better at that. We started out doing video sessions during covid so that probably helped as well.

  16. I prefer to work with male therapists despite traumatic history. So, yes, I work with a male therapist - I've worked with a number of them.

  17. Oh interesting. And you still feel that level of trust and intimacy (only word I can think of) via telehealth? Is that via Better Help or someone you found via Psychology Today?

  18. I have a male therapist. He’s pretty great, but I do struggle to talk to him about sex. His response is always fine, it’s my own reluctance that makes it awkward.

  19. I have a male therapist. He's about 10 years younger than me. It has been good. It's always a bit tricky navigating sex stuff, but that is my awkwardness not his.

  20. Thanks! Interesting - I'm apprehensive about working with a therapist younger than me. I feel they might be inexperienced. However - I also feel like my current therapist, much older than I, does not understand me.

  21. I have a male psychiatrist and a male therapist and they are both the most wonderful professionals I've ever dealt with. They listen, ask questions, challenge me when I need it, really try to understand where I'm coming from, and are just genuinely cool ass people. I've tried female therapists before and they all sucked.

  22. I love having a male therapist. He is probably 10 years older than me. We talk about everything, including sex. It is definitely a safe space and I will never go back to having a female therapist.

  23. I’ve always been drawn to female therapists when searching, but then it dawned on me that the two best therapists I’ve had were both men. I decided to try a male therapist when searching for a new therapist most recently and I’m very happy with that decision. He’s great.

  24. Personally for me I don’t think I should have a male therapist. I would feel more comfortable with a male but just because something’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s the right fit. Depending on if you have a history of trauma and what type it is, I’d definitely recommend getting a female therapist.

  25. My male T is great. Any issue that’s come up which I’ve worried he wouldn’t understand the female perspective (micro aggressions, child bearing, infertility, sex, etc) he actually has been super insightful and way more empathetic than I’ve had with a female T. He’s cognizant of it being a concern of mine, and he is extra attentive to it.

  26. Lovely happy story! When you say 'my interview' do you mean that you reached out to him and others and interviewed them for 10 min to see if they might be worth pursuing?

  27. I don't think I would ever have another male therapist after the last one, who made me very uncomfortable. I currently have a male psychiatrist but I'm working to get a female one because I don't feel comfortable talking to him about my symptoms to medication.

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