I’m so fucking sick of the “it gets better” and “keep pushing forward” bullshit. Every single second of the day I think about not being here. Why can’t people just get that? I’ve been to therapy, been on medication, went to the gym, eaten healthy, and so on and it’s not a cure. I’m done.

  1. Totally get it. I actually lost 35 pounds working out hard this year. Still feel the same suicidal everyday. Done everything in the title like you said. What else can we do? The only question I have anymore is to live another day or end it. I fear both.

  2. I lost 30 lbs this year too as the result of a 14 year marraige peacing out suddenly. I always say happiness is fattening, way more than soda or fast food.

  3. I don't have the best words. But you're valuable. It's starts with purpose. For me, if I didn't believe in God and that this world is all there is, I would be dead by now. This world sucks.

  4. If you have regular suicidal ideations or if you are currently feeling suicidal you can (and should) make a crisis plan, or a suicide safety plan.

  5. I'm tired of people asking me every single day how I'm feeling or if I'm feeling better. As if it only lasts a day and then I'm totally fine LOL

  6. As someone who was "friends" with a very suicidal person, i get that it sucks and it annoys you, but I ve been in the position of the person who asks these questuons and I assure you it s only because we love you very much and we re living in fear of not losing you. We know that you re not better, but we need to keep checking everyday because the anxiety is on another level and it s not your fault for that. It just happens when someone you love is suicidal/depressed. You automatically fear losing them and you absorb their emotions.

  7. I’m tired of people saying I should appreciate all that I have as I know I should and feel like even more shit that I don’t 🙃🤷🏻‍♀️

  8. I like to think if it as “are you feeling better than yesterday” Instead of “are you feeling all better now”

  9. I feel like I'm waiting for an excuse to end it. Some kind of big event that finally pushes me over the edge and makes me decide its time to go

  10. Hi, I am struggling to decide whether to live or die. All my instincts tell me to end it. But i am too scared of what it may do to my parents and my husband. Aaahhhh!

  11. That's a good option for me. Too scared to go through it but desire not to live is still there. Guess my new motto is " I'm just waiting to die". Thanks!

  12. thank you for this perspective. the constant “reassurance” is almost like gaslighting. i feel like nobody can possibly understand that i simply don’t want to be here anymore. there doesn’t need to be an explanation. death is PART of life. everyone dies eventually. why do i need to wait until i’m old and fragile to die? i’d rather skip over that.

  13. Ik this was towards OP but this comforted me a bit too. Having a mutual understanding of the pain with another person somehow helps, still not fully sure why.

  14. honestly and the proof is right there, when you read stories about all the humans who led miserable unfortunate lives and weren’t able to escape. why didn’t anything get better for them? exactly. this world has no concern for good triumphing over evil. if we all die eventually, what does it matter if some of us have decided earlier on we’ve seen enough? felt pain enough? survival is torture. every wake up is not a win, it’s a passing in my sleep that I mourn having missed. it would leave more room for others to use the resources we don’t want to waste in our stead. i wish we could communicate better about this

  15. I hate how accurate this is. On the outside I have a “great life”. Inside is a rotting decay of self loathing while the outside world gets even worse.

  16. Also hate the "it gets better", it comes off as very thoughtless and like they're not really listening or trying to help but move on to a different, brighter conversation topic.

  17. I'm honestly just existing for the sake of it. My life has no meaning and it would make no difference if I was gone to anyone.

  18. Yup, I’m with you. These are also the same people that tell you, whenever you complained as a kid, to enjoy what you have now because you’ll only gain more and more responsibilities and less and less freedom. So essentially you’re telling me not to be depressed because, in the future, things will just progressively get worse until you die? Thanks, that makes me feel MUCH better 🙄

  19. Start doing random shit: sky dive, travel, go to random conventions, dress up as a chicken and bawk at random strangers....Can't promise it'll do anything, but honestly it does makes me feel a lil less sad. Sometimes we're stuck in our own lil bubble and routine, but do something that's out of your comfort zone might shock your brain a bit. I mean if you're done with life already, why not jump out of a plane?

  20. I know they mean well, but they clearly don't get it. I remember someone using the 'keep moving forward' line on me, saying 'You never know what's around the corner'.

  21. They always say it's an easy way out, but they never stop and think what does it take to go against our most basic instinct - the instinct to survive.

  22. I have a laundry list of disorders, mental and physical, on top of being Autistic. I also still live with my abusive parents.

  23. The people who don’t get it are the people who are lucky enough not to experience it it. People like us are not lucky in that regard. We fight our own minds like hell every single day.

  24. Suicide is poorly understood. I dislike everything that is said about it. I have been dealing with this 55 years.

  25. This is my exact train of thought every single day. Have I tried ketamine? No. Have I tried ECT or TMS/rTMS. No. Those are my last options. There's EMDR too.

  26. At least people who say this are showing that they care. I've literally told my family I was gonna go hang myself and no response. Nothing.

  27. I just feel so damn useless, why am I here? why is it me? why can't I be happy? why am I always sad? so many questions but no answers, just getting tired of being useless. I'd rather be dead than feel like this. Nothing makes me feel happy. I don't wanna get older and older and older just to feel,, nothing.

  28. The secret is that it doesn’t always get better but we just have to learn how to live a meaningful life. We have to die at some point anyway in the future which isn’t actually long away so find something worth living for even if it’s small like a new pet. Sometimes life will shock you though

  29. i want to slap every motherfucker in the face that has told me i’m only 19 and have so much life ahead of me and i’m just a baby and that of course it’ll get better blah blah blah. cool that doesn’t change the fact i have a FIXATION WITH DEATH AND IM OBSESSED WITH TRYING TO KILL MYSELF BUT THANKS FOR THE ADVICE ON TRYING TO GO ON KETO IM SURE THATLL HELP A LOT!! GO FUCK YOURSELF DAD AGHHHHHHH

  30. I get it. Don't even know why I'm still here to be honest. Hearing those words genuinely have made me angry. It tends to feel very dismissive at times. Either way, I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

  31. I really hate that when ppl ask me how are you and are you okay. As if I can say no. And in case if I say I'm not okay, what r they going to do? Nothing. They don't know how much us the people who see life as a nightmare and only feel alive when we fall asleep have to struggle with.

  32. There is no cure to the human condition. There is always tomorrow, nothing says it will it will be better but there is always the chance that it is. Just have to muster the strength to make it day by day, week by week, month by month and so on.

  33. While I agree with the majority of your comment, tomorrow is promised to no one. There is not always tomorrow for everyone, and not knowing when that inevitable day will come is its own hell.

  34. Yeah people be telling other people and themselves such lies all the time. Truth is no one knows if it actually gets better, and if it does then when? Like how long do we have to wait to get better? I get the whole thing with "your life is up to you" but it's not always true. Sometimes shit happens and it fucks you up. Idk what you re going through rn but I can imagkne you feel horrible because of it and I'm just really sorry. Idk if talking about it makes you or anyone else here feel better, like talking in detail or venting, but if it does you can talk to me and probably with many people here who d love to help a little. I know it wouldn t be much, but who knows maybe you'll find someone who understands.

  35. it was getting better for me and then the normal shit lifestyle popped up. I’m sick of shit I can o it have like one good week before I’m in some hell

  36. Fr why can't people just accept that suicide happens? Just because they're strong enough to keep going doesn't mean that everyone else is. The only thing it does is make people feel pathetic for not being able to just suck it up

  37. totally get it man, i do all that and still feel empty inside after all the trauma, im here to talk if you need help though

  38. I am in a day therapy where I have a team of therapists to help me. I go in the mornings Monday - Friday. But I still feel deeply suicidal. I think I’ve felt this way for about 3 years now of near daily fantasizing about my death. I self harm and that has gotten worse as well. In mid August I just stopped eating one day and I’ve lost 20 kilos since then. I’m still eating maybe 500 calories a day on a good day. Everything is just getting worse and my urge to die is getting stronger. I feel like my body is shutting down on me. People try to be positive but I am in a very negative place. I’m alive but I am not living. I exist. I am not happy, I cry a lot. I am in a crisis.

  39. Same can’t eat,sleep, relax, work or anything anymore definitely have gotten worse these past 2-3 months. I see myself now and have no idea who i am but it’s not like I knew who I was in the first place either.

  40. "StAy PoSiTiVe" and "It GeTs BetTeR" has very literally never brought me any comfort. Never. Not one time in my entire life. There has also not been one single time that "staying positive" resolved an issue for me, or lessened it's tangible negative impact on my life. If anything, trying to force myself to be positive all the time has made my life worse as it directly resulted in more disappointment and me wearing rose colored glasses about negative situations that I should have been consistently negative about. Those situations didn't get any better until I was consistently negative about them, and stopped trying to be content with the breadcrumbed positives. It's like they expect you to be like "POSITIVITY?! WOW!!! IT NEVER OCCURED TO ME TO TRY TO FIND SOMETHING GOOD IN LIFE. I'M CURED NOW 🥰!!!".

  41. So true. This hippie shits. What if you outlive people who say that just to turn back and say to them "aha! See how i can live without using your dumb sentences"

  42. yeah its always the people who like to pretend to care about you. but in reality on a normal occasion they wouldn't even give a single fuck about you. its basically something they said to feel better about themselves that they 'helped' someone when in reality they didnt.

  43. Oh man do I feel you on this! It’s so easy for other people to tell you to just ‘stay strong and carry on’ or whatever bullshit variation…but I agree with you, I’ve tried to ‘keep pushing forward’ and always find myself back at the bottom, dying internally. Literally why try when I end up right back at the grim beginning every time?

  44. what is the “it” that gets better? life? is there really people out there who genuinely think life gets better? or are they just trying to show some kind of compassion without knowing what else they really can say? not sure

  45. I've found that even therapists and psychiatrists say this shit. Drives me insane, they're supposed to be the ones that understand. Just makes me feel worse.

  46. I can't even imagine. Sometimes I use all my strength getting him dressed and ready and go days without showering or changing clothes. It's gross to admit but it's just more than I can do sometimes

  47. Because it doesn’t fucking get better, man, okay? It doesn’t. But there’s days where it’s really good and they’re stupid rare but goddamn are they worth it. Besides, fuck death! Stay alive just to prove to the toxically positive people that you can BE MISERABLE and stay the fuck alive at the same time! FIGHT THE MACHINE.

  48. I've was in this situation for years I had to get rid of all the toxic people in my life.i moved to another country and this worked for me I wish you the best.

  49. maybe do something illegal. I like going out and doing graffiti and if you've SH'd its kind of the same rush as that. I'd recommend it, just dont be stupid

  50. I feel you bro. We all need our coping mechanisms, however crazy they may be judged by others. If it works, do it!

  51. I am with you but i sont think that's the point , the point is find something tgat you now you want to live for , tho i sont have find mine yet i will and you too

  52. I'm not that bad, but similar. Recently I was talking about this topic with my therapist. It gets better, but it is slow process. Those things that you are mentioning helps. We used an analogy that depression makes us like a child grabbing sands with hands. Most of it falls. But it can manage to grab some of it. And this going to the gym is like grabbing sand. I, as depressed person cannot take full advantage of gym etc. But it adds one to another. Gym, meds, healthy eating - it adds up. And in some time there will be a lot of sand in out bucket. Stupid analogy, but in therapy I started talking about what your saying. That Im doing sth to improve my mental health and it doesn't seem to get better. So we ended talking about sand lol.

  53. gym, eat healthy, sobered up, developed healthy relationships, quit smoking, tons of therapy and invested a lot of time on self help books and personal studies into psychology. feel great physically. hate every breath.

  54. You contradicted yourself a few times here. “The useless crappy platitudes are always right”. I’m afraid you don’t understand the definition of “useless” and “crappy”. I can assure your response isn’t beneficial to anyone here going through this kinda stuff.

  55. I’m fine with seeing no response at all. I’m free to use the app how I wish to and if you don’t like that it’s whatever. How’s that sound?

  56. People who have it easy should shut it if they’re not doing anything to help. “Words of encouragement” doesn’t do shit. “It gets better” yea Alan it does if you can comp me about a mil.

  57. I myself think about suicide, but then I remember that my family love me, my friends are here for me... I just can't come with it because I know it would hurt them so bad, even me (eventhough I am incredibly dunk), understands that there are those out there who love you. And even if you're thinking "no one i knows loves me", then believe me, even the most random of strangers will love you and not want you to leave this world behind

  58. i am on the same situation as you i keep trying differ things but didnt find what could help me but i tried getting some hobbies to fill my time since i thought i could help it does kind of lessen it but i wouldnt say its a cure or android of the sort but its worth doing at the very least

  59. Exactly man just recently got cheated on my family doesn’t even talk to me or like me and when they do it’s to criticize my life I have no friends and no one to really talk too at all at this point I’m thinking of the most painless way to do it…..

  60. I'm curious, how many of you that are/have been suicidal attribute it to or relate it with feelings of "worthlessness" and/or low self-esteem/personal worth?

  61. I understand this. For me it has improved slightly. It’s weird though when I come to a bump in the road my first thought is usually “damn I wasn’t even supposed to be here”

  62. I agree, life can really suck but hey Tomorrow is tomorrow, you should stick around and see what is has to bring you If you didn’t enjoy tomorrow then see if you enjoy tomorrow’s tomorrow and if you don’t enjoy tomorrows tomorrow then maybe you’ll enjoy tomorrows tomorrow tomorrow, only one way to find out

  63. Damn, I get this. I’ve been suicidal for 15 years (ever since 5th grade). I’m now 24.. I have been consistently getting help from doctors (over a decade actually) week after week, month after month. Man I thought I was gonna end my life in high school and honestly I wish I had. I used to be an open book with everything and now I’m reserved af because I’ve lost so many friends and loved ones not to mention all I would hear was, “keep your head down it’ll pay off” or “but we love you so much, you’re amazing.” It’s not paying off and I’m still miserable. So now I’m just waiting to die. My dream..

  64. I wanna say something : it's two things it's not gonna get better if you are brave enough just do it at the end we all gonna die if you keep pushing you will only harm youreself I'm not brave enough I done it once and I can't do it again but the truth is it's not goona change

  65. This is life, basically, suffering/struggling well. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to no longer suffer or struggle. It’s in the struggle where you appreciate more the suffering. It’s in the suffering where you appreciate the struggle. Overall, call it what you want, life is hard. Rock bottom is harder. I completely understand what your going through, I’m there myself. I try not to expect anything in life, when you have expectations, you’re usually disappointed.

  66. I’m not depressed, I’ve just reached a point where I’ve achieved against all odds to have had a reasonably fun life. I’m at an age where I know it’s not gonna get any better, kinda like the “leave the party when it’s still fun and not when it’s getting sad”. Why wait for some disease or worse still, rot away in some care home, likely abused by staff, awaiting visits from those who feel obligated to visit, robbed of any dignity? Why don’t people view death from accidents in the same way other than it being accidental? Will they mourn us any less? If yes then one has to ask whether this was on the grounds of it being a selfish “I need u here for MY needs”? I’m sick of living only so as to not upset loved ones with me no longer being around, why is it acceptable that moving to the opp end of the world, to be brain dead and kept alive simply so that others can visit your dead but not quite state? Why dont people view exiting whilst on a healthy happy high as wrong? Why must I stick around to get some awful disease or left alone in a nursing home? I’ve spent the past few decades entering rooms only to judge whether they’ve a spot I can hang my self from..I’ve identified for too too long places I could easily step i front of a train (only to care too much about the effect this would have upon the driver? I’m just tired and can only see life going downhill from here if not disease then the empirically agreed upon fact that we’re in a climate CRISIS and it’s only. Getting worse as each DAY passes!?

  67. The thing is that it literally does get better, sure it might not be a year or 5 years from now. Eventually you will find peace with your life and live out ur days.

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