Song I’ve been sitting on/working on for years. I struggle with the chorus because it’s so long winded. All criticism good or bad appreciated.

  1. This has real potential. I really like it. Dig the sad indie guy thing you have goin on and the melody in the chorus! I'll say what I say to a lot of new songwriters - enunciate! Work on making those lyrics a bit more easy to hear and understand. Love what I did get, though! Keep it up! :)

  2. love this, think it's a good song the way it is. i do like the chorus, maybe you can mess with the melody towards the end of the chorus, but the guitar helps a lot to break it up. As is i could see this sounding amazing as a mix

  3. You have posted a song requesting feedback - GREAT! Good feedback is the foundation of improving your songwriting. To help foster a community where everyone gets the feedback they need, please find THREE other songs requesting feedback and post substantive (eg. 2-3 sentences) of feedback. Even if you are a rookie songwriter/musician, you're an experienced music listener, and your opinion is still valuable!

  4. This sounds great, and I think the chorus works well in it. I love your voice and the little guitar lines. One thing you could try is making the strumming faster in the chorus section to give it some energy (not sure if that's something you'd want to do). Would love to hear more!

  5. I like it! I would suggest to make the music around the vocal more exciting to guide the melody of the vocal. Get someone who can add a nice string arrangement and maybe throw in some more chord changes to follow the vocal melody. The vocal melody moves nicely, it just needs to be supported better with chords that move with it. Maybe try working another guitar player as well.

  6. Nice song man, "making faces" is such a great lyrical bit in there that should be the title of the song if its not already.

  7. Okay wow!! The voice the mood. I really love this. I don't think you should worry about the chorus, it's awesome TBH. However, if it is bothering you, maybe try adding a hook or post chorus that maybe is just one or two words.

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