How to tell if someone I sit next to is attracted to me???

  1. Why don't you ask her if she wants to do something outside of the game-watching? Then you can see if she's interested in spending time with you, or just enjoying having a nice person to chat to whilst she is at the game.

  2. I wholeheartedly disagree. This risks creating more confusion for OP, and jeopardizing the rest of the season for both. Just enjoy the game and her company. If you have to ask reddit if she’s in to you… it’s very likely she isn’t.

  3. Best advice here although I will change it up a bit. Say you are going to get a drink after the game and ask if she wants to join you. Sounds a little more confident and whatevs if she declined.

  4. Does the sports team play away games that are televised? Could you find a nice place public place to watch the game and mention to her your thinking about going to see the game there? Maybe even ask her if she knows a good place to watch away games? See where it goes with no pressure?

  5. Wait until the end of the season and say you are going to miss her company at the games and then ask if she would want to meet up in the off season to do something. Get her number, text her a week later, if she doesn't respond, let it go. Avoids having to go the rest of the season in awkwardness.

  6. Agree strongly here. You don’t want to be the guy she turned down and then had to try to be polite but discouraging and sit next to for the remaining games (probably only a few, but still).

  7. Unless she's like me. I always love to make new friends and chat and I always assume it's obvious I'm not straight, so I end up accepting invitations for coffees or beers with guys I find interesting and I'd like to become friends with, and then I have to run away when they try to kiss me in the car, except it's my car and I freeze while I think how to escape and how did they not get it. I don't want to ruin the positive vibes, just wanted to bring my awkward life on the table!

  8. Next time you see her, drop your jaw to the floor, have your eyes stretch out a foot from your face, rapidly tap one foot, and yell "awooga!"

  9. If you’re at a game, tell her you’re gonna go get a beer or hotdog or something and ask her if she wants one. She might say no because she doesn’t actually want one, but if she says yes, a bit later, towards the end of the game, ask her to dinner or ask her what she’s doing after

  10. great advice - thanks! Just trying to test the water without coming across as some creepy dude who got excited because a female sat beside him lol

  11. I think you could even play a longer game here. Next game ask if you can get her a beer or something, then be cool. Wait. The next game, ask her if she'd like to go get a coffee or drink after the game. Be specific because if you say "you wanna do something after this?" it's going to come across sort of "hey, wanna get outta here?" If she says no or makes an excuse to either of these inquiries stop where you are and call it. If she's interested she will make the next suggestion.

  12. might be too late but I’d suggest not doing this, while it’s a nice gesture, if you then proceed to ask her out after she might feel like she “owes” you for the free food, and she may not decline the food initially to avoid being “rude” as silly as that sounds, you’re much better off simply asking her out without prefacing it with free stuff, this way, there is no pressure and she doesnt feel like you’re just getting her free stuff to get into her pants, and if you were, a hotdog and soda is the cheapest lamest way to do so

  13. The best way is always to ask her out and see how she responds, but do it gently (as I'm sure you will). I've seen that one single ask destroy connections for both myself and others. And if she is just trying to be friendly, keep the friendship going should you get rejected or friendzoned.

  14. That's a good point. Have an exit strategy for if she says 'no thanks'. I don't mean throw down a smokebomb and leave the game but have a something on tap that will soften an awkward moment (if needs be).

  15. Hey my man. I (35M) just spoke with my wife (31F) about this one. Our collective take is this: IGNORE ANYONE HERE who says wait to speak to her. Carpe diem. Ask her out full stop. You are human. She is human. You are built to be resilient and you can survive minor inconveniences like awkwardness. So can she. Be a gentleman about it and if she says no be prepared with a comforting statement and an assurance that you folks can keep chatting while watching the game.

  16. This is all based on just a few sentences you typed on Reddit, so take it for what that's worth, but my thoughts are:

  17. I'm in the same boat my friend. I haven't dated in a long long time and have been wondering the same thing. Dating has changed in the past 20 years and I haven't the slightest clue on where to start. I think I'll just stick with being a dad.

  18. Ask her to sit next to you somewhere else. Coffee. Lunch. Something low-key. Not dinner or a movie...yet. literally just as simple as saying hey, we should grab a coffee sometime. Don't overcomplicate it. Something as innocuous as coffee still saves the friendship even if she says no.

  19. Soo how young is she? If shes in her 30is she might like you. Ask her out. If shes in her 20is shes polite. Dont ask her out If shes a teen then you need help. Dont follow her home.

  20. I wouldnt ask out someone considerably younger than me. My best guess is early/mid 30's. I'm not THAT guy, dont worry

  21. You'd be surprised how many women in their 20s are comfortable dating men OPs age. While I don't think it's that common, it's also not uncommon.

  22. probably polite, but nothing wrong to ask if she wants to go for a drink. If she refuses, just say sorry don't want to make you feel awkward I think you're fine and wanted to give it a shot. Enjoy the game

  23. Does she look for you first when something exciting happens in the game or a bad call? Who is she there with? Ask her to go to get concessions at the game with you it’s slightly less nerve wracking than asking to go to a bar. Also something always happens between games, bring whatever happens up and say I thought of you when I saw that and wanted to text you. She’ll offer her number if she likes you.

  24. The older you get, I think the more you second guess it and get inside your own head about it. Experience works against you in that regard.

  25. I don’t have any great advice, but I’m just over a year out from my husband passing, I’m 41, and I’d be over the moon if someone asked me out for a drink! From one widow to another, OP, good luck! :)

  26. Best is, give her an out. Hey you got any plans later, we can grab a drink together? If she says, yeah sorry I'm busy. That's just being polite to a stranger because I have no idea if he's gonna throw a tantrum. (Works with any sex/gender)

  27. As a female, my favorite way anyone has ever asked me out was to give me their number on a slip of paper and to say, “Hey, I have really enjoyed your company and conversation. If you would ever like to have dinner or grab a coffee and talk, here is my number. “ We had seen each other and had small talk at a local small bar/venue a few times before. This put the ball in my court, didn’t make me feel exposed, and it felt like a really respectful and vulnerable way ask me out. In the end, it turned out he wasn’t ready to date like he thought he was. We still chat as friends now though. So I think it doesn’t have to end awkwardly if that’s all she wants.

  28. I would ask if she would like to get coffee or something not too commital after the game and if she says yes it's likely she sees you more like a friend than an acquaintance she knows from the games. Spend more time outside of the sports game setting and then confess your feelings and see if she reciprocated. Don't assume she likes you romantically because she says yes to getting coffee.

  29. Start asking her questions about her. If she opens up considerably AND laughs at your lame jokes ask her to get something to eat after the game. Make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend of course. Maybe ask what she does on holidays, so if you’re in America ask her about Thanksgiving and Christmas.

  30. Weve talked about travel. She's off abroad soon and I asked her tge details and if she was catching a hockey game while she was away etc etc. I told her Im a Seahawks fan and am going to the Raiders game in Nov. Weve had a few chats. I omow whereabouts she lives, shes told me where she works. Had a few nice little conversations.

  31. FyI- Just because you make her laugh does not mean she's into you. She may just be friendly. Just ask her if she wants to get drinks/ dinner.

  32. I'm a mid 30's female... asking if she wants to do something after the game is 100% the right call. There is no other way to know for sure besides asking, unless she has the balls to be blunt and simply tells you since you haven't made a move.

  33. ***UPDATE so I asked of she would like to meet for a drink before the next game, which seemed to make her very uncomfortable and she very nervously but very politely declined.

  34. Please don't be super disappointed if she isn't. One of my biggest fears is being friendly with someone, or helping them with something, and then they automatically think I'm into them, and then feel super rejected and disappointed when it turns out their assumption wasn't correct. It's not a problem when people can be respectful. But when I tell someone I have a boyfriend, or that I'm not interested in them romantically, and I just get to watch the light leave their eyes, and then they never talk to me again, it's really hard. It's like people get their heart set on something that you can't give them, and when they find out you can't, they want nothing else to do with you. Like my only worth in a relationship with any man is my availability to him. Don't take this as "she definitely doesn't like you," because she might. You can really never know. But when you do finally find out, either by asking her or overhearing, and it turns out that she has a boyfriend or isn't interested, just be respectful. Accept it as fact in your mind, cross out that path with her, and continue being friends. Either way, she clearly enjoys talking to you, and having a friend in good conversation is more valuable than anything sometimes. And don't do the thing where you keep being "friends," but hold out hope for a relationship in the future. It will taint your friendship with her. She will be able to tell, and it will make her uncomfortable that you have this hope for a future that she doesn't want at all.

  35. I agree with you. I’m a friendly person and I like to smile and laugh a lot. It’s disappointing to get to know a person who I want to be friends with, but they only want to be with me romantically. I think I’m experiencing this right now. You can really see the moment they’re not interested in you as a person anymore.

  36. She's there on her own. Find out more about her? What's her body language like? Does she sit with her legs pointed towards you? Does she look directly into your eyes alot? I think you should just ask her if you want to hang out for a coffee or a drink as friends. Go from there. Gotta be in it to win it right?

  37. Friday night, but i'll have my young daughter with me for this and the next game, so I can just be natural and not worry about it for two games. I'm not going to ask her out when my daughters there lol

  38. As you've already read, just ask her if she wants to do something with you after the game, if she says yes, it's a good sign, if she says she can't but offers another day, that is also a good sign.

  39. She laughs at your lame if you know it's really not funny and she laughs, shoot your shot. If she calls you out on it, you've made an honest friend.

  40. You won't ever really know unless you ask her out. But keep in mind, that if you may lose that acquaintance at the gym. Women typically don't enjoy being around someone they had to reject. So be prepared for that possibility.

  41. Ask her if she’d like to have coffee sometime. If she says no, then you are just a guy she likes to chat with when you are there at the same time. If she says yes, go to coffee. No way to know in advance what she’ll say. Even if she says no, making a new friend who you can chat with comfortably is good first step for being able to ask the next person you like out…good luck.

  42. Don't jump right in. Next game say "I went to (insert place nearby) for (insert a beer, some food, whatever) after the last game... do you ever go there?" Chat about the place, other places she likes to go. Then say "it's not as fun going alone"... see what she says... use your best judgment then ask if she wants to meet before or after a game sometime.. then drop it. Don't put her on the spot for a specific day. Maybe don't bring it up again till next time.. "have you been back to (insert)" or similar conversation, then "I think I'm going to (insert) after the game, want to go?"

  43. See if she wants to go with you for a halftime drink. If she does, next time see if she fancies getting a drink after the game. You’ll probably get the appropriate signals as you go along, one way or the other.

  44. So if you don't mind I'd like to clarify- have you both been at multiple games (both season ticket holders)? Second question is how much younger by your estimation, and be honest. If the answer to the first question is yes, I would leave it alone, unless you're willing to give up your ticket. Imagine it from her perspective: she bought this ticket (probably on the expensive side) because she enjoys the sport and wants to support the team. She enjoys going to the games and chose to do so alone. Here's a possibility of her perspective:

  45. Simple. Just say “hey, we should get together for lunch one day”. If she’s interested she will accept. If no interest, she will let you know. Take it from there. Don’t go straight for the dinner and movies date night.

  46. Not everyone knows instantly that they are compatible with or "like" another person. If she's not creeped out by you (she probably isn't given the reactions to your conversations) then she might want to go have a drink or a meal with you.

  47. Ask her if her significant other likes sports. If she answers yes or no she's taken. If she says has none she probably is single. Invite her for a bite after the game and you're 👍 good to go. Good 🤞 luck.

  48. As someone who has been called a "young lady" by many older men, if you're describing her as a young lady she's too young for you.

  49. Same, laughing at jokes doesn’t really mean anything sorry, that’s the point of them isn’t it to make people laugh? By all means OP go for it, but if her laughing at jokes is you’re measuring stick for equating romantic affection I’m sorry she’s probs just being friendly and/or finds your jokes funny. I’m a young lady same age group as this girl OP is talking about and plenty of guys lose their shit laughing at my jokes cos I’m generally funny af, but looks wise I’m average at best and guess what? Them laughing at jokes counts for fuck all. Only way to really know is straight up ask her out. Good luck OP, all the best.

  50. Just turn to her and say “hey, I like you. I want to go on a date with you.” And wait for her to respond to that while looking directly into her eyes and being totally present in the moment

  51. How does she sit? Is her right leg crossed over the left? Does she laugh and slightly touch you? Play with her hair? Does she eat in front of you? Women like it when men ask questions so just be honest. Could be very possible that she likes you too.

  52. You could always just ask her, at 40 and widowed you are out of practice and that is understandable. I am about your age and I would be totally clueless, I would have to just ask the question. It isn't creepy to ask for most people. I get that at 40 you don't want to ask and get the disgusted stink eye, 'why would you ever think I would be interested...' sort of thing. That could happen, but if she is as charming as you are making her out to be she probably wont.

  53. Instead of asking her if she wants to grab a coffee or drink sometime, tell her to let you know if she ever wants to do those things and go back to normal. This way there's no awkwardness for either of you because she doesn't have to directly reject you or feel sprung up on and you guys can continue to be casual game watching pals.

  54. For all intents and purposes it doesn't matter if she likes you now. People can't really decide if they like you or not enough to get romantically involved till you give them a chance to actually get to know you.

  55. Just my thoughts, being a woman who has dated a few men in the past... I think you should take the time you already spend together and become closer. Have more conversations, ask questions, buy her a drink when she runs out, flirt, give little signals like touching elbows, just make it cute. Ask for her number, call or text the next day.

  56. Sorry about your wife brotha, she was too young 😥( assuming she was around your age ). But good luck to you man, hopefully she says Yes!

  57. At the end of the event, when she has a graceful way to say no and leave without awkwardness, you could invite her for a cup of coffee.

  58. You've gotten some solid advice on this thread, so I'm not going to pile on. I'll just say that we'd all love an update, and hope to see you poppin the Q a year from now at the game. Now that's a

  59. Sorry, your comment has been automatically removed because it appears to violate Rule 1: top-level responses must contain a genuine attempt at an answer - not just links. Our users come here for straightforward, simple answers or because of the nuance that engaging in conversation supplies. Links don't do that.

  60. You sound (Just an opinion from a Canadian here...) Others have given great advice and I agree with the choices you've made of advice here you will and won't be taking. You sound like you are thinking along the right lines. I don't think you need to wait too long to ask about joining you for a quick hotdog/beer. I think that's a reasonable thing to ask, especially if you make an effort to ensure that she feels like whichever choice she makes you'll be happy to chat with her at the next game. It's a very safe option. But you don't want to wait too long or who knows what else will happen in her life. Good luck! You definitely seem like a great guy!

  61. Next time you see her I would just make small talk. “How was your weekend?, What’s new?” Etc. just to see if she volunteers any clues about her status. You want to try to figure that out without being too nosy/creepy. If you think she’s really single, I would wait for the end of the last game. If you ask her out now and she says no, the rest of the season will be awkward. Until then just be yourself and play it cool.

  62. I'm 40, married 3 years. I say just flat-out admit your ignorance and ask her! At the least if it's a negative response, she might be a little flattered you were thinking that way.

  63. First off, someone's interpretation of your intent is not your issue to solve for them, so say what you mean In your own words. This BS of people having to bend their selves so no one gets offended is PC in overdrive and it ticks me off. If they think you are being a pedo, then let them report you to police and go from there. I personally am offended that you can't use the polite conversation term of "young lady" when referring to a female that is younger than you are. So how's that??? Lol! Secondly, it's quite simple how to ascertain her engagement level with you. Towards the end of an event, or just as it ends, just let her know you are going to a wrap up event, or out for a coffee/cocktail (either to celebrate a win or nurse a and ask simply if she would like to join you. If yes then proceed with further details, if no, then simply nod your head and continue to enjoy the event in previous fashion. If she says no then the fact that the event is over or nearly over removes any potentially awkward moments if she is totally not interested. Women admire self confidence for the most part so be confident but not overbearingly arrogant.

  64. How about just asking her out to have coffee or something to preconceived notions....and see where it goes. Worst case you get a new friend.

  65. I think it would be best to ask casually and before you’ve let it build up in your mind too much! If you say “Hey, no pressure at all but would you like to go for dinner sometime?” And she agrees, then that’s great! And if she declines, you can save what is turning out to be a nice friendship by saying “Hey no worries at all, still nice chatting as friends/acquaintances/mutual fans.” I’m seriously so sorry for your loss OP, and I hope this ends up being a good way to take some steps forward!

  66. Heres the catch. You dont know. All that should matter is do YOU find her attractive. Once you have established this, only way to tell you if she is or isn’t into you is to just go for it. Show romantic interest and see if shes receptive

  67. You come across as a sensitive person. I’m sure you’ll do the exact right thing, and even if she’s not interested in you (though, trust me, women know what they’re doing and if you feel she might be attracted to you, chances are it’s because she chose to make you feel so. This, I believe is true, as long as you are open, careful, attentive. If you’re are selfloving brick, this is untrue, but you are not!), it’ll be ok.

  68. Next time tell her how she makes you feel. Just how you wrote it here. And then finish with saying you would like to be around her more and invite her to do something. At the later stages of life, love is less about wild crushes and hints and more about finding someone who you enjoy spending time with. Hang out and see how it goes. Just be open about how you feel and it will make her be open about what she feels. But these things take time

  69. I'm so sorry for your loss. And as someone who has been out of the dating world for 14 years... I don't have the most solid of dating advice. But...

  70. If she finds an excuse to touch you—like oh you have a leaf on you, or let me turn your tag inside your shirt—then she likes you!

  71. I guess it's a question of whether you feel asking her if she'd like to go for a drink would spoil the comradely you have in sitting next to each other. But you could couch that in the question "Hey I enjoy us sitting and having a chat and I don't want to spoil that but would you like to go for a drink at X time?". If she doesn't then you've done something to affirm that you sitting and chatting is a good thing and that's an effort to preserve that between you.

  72. In life guessing will only lead to anxiety and that will lead to never trying. As one of steve lacy's song goes, " I wish i knew you wanted me " life is going to be full of regrets and youre only going to end up wishing you knew they ever wanted you or at least be 100% of what their intentions are. The only thing that can make that happen is to ASK. It's better said than done tho, grab your balls and ask lol.

  73. You sit next to her, I’m sure at some point you noticed what she drinks or snacks. Don’t ask her if she wants something, just buy it.

  74. “Hey would you like to do something sometime”?! If she hasn’t mentioned a Significant Other by now or shown a real or fake band on her hand, she’s probably at the LEAST looking. I’d make the play. Best way though is tie it into something you know. “Hey, Nice Aerosmith shirt! I love Rock too, there’s a great show at XYZ, wanna come with me”?!

  75. It’s reasons like this why I’ll be single forever. I never know if a woman is interested in me and never attempt to make a move. I don’t want to be rejected and have an uncomfortable situation. Plus I just assume no women find me attractive whatsoever.

  76. 37 year old dating a 27 year old. If you make lame jokes and shes laughing, its a good chance. Id make a move. Ask her to dinner politely, or wait for her to ask you to come over to build Star Wars Lego sets like my girlfriend did.

  77. Ask her for her number so you can give her your extra ticket if you ever can’t go to a game. Text her a random joke later and see if she keeps up the convo. If she does, you’re in. If she responds with one-liners or doesn’t respond, she’s not into you. Don’t say something at the game bc it could become awkward and she’s obviously there to watch the games, not feel uncomfortable. GL

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