Why are jokes about alopecia for women considered rude but male pattern baldness is just accepted as a common thing to make fun of?

  1. I don't support it, but the reason is probably that women's worth and value are tied much more closely to how conventionally attractive they are, which includes long hair. Men can still have value and worth even with no hair, while an ugly woman is often told to just go kill herself. Read any social media if you don't believe me.

  2. I definitely think women get a whole lot more of put downs due to appearance, but as an overweight male it feels like my worth is basically solely held within what I look like. Also, everyone seems to really be making it out like alopecia made Jada less beautiful which is not true at all! I understand it would be very hard to lose your hair to alopecia but damn does she pull off short hair well!

  3. Ugly men are also told the same things a lot. I think your first point is the main reason, just that most women care about their appearances more than the average man does. Also alopecia is far rarer than male pattern baldness.

  4. I don’t think it’s funny or make fun of anything someone can’t control, not only can it be hurtful to the person but it also reflects on yourself. Now if my buddy gets a bad haircut, I’ll make fun of that!

  5. Eh, sometimes people get a bad haircut through no fault of their own and what would need to be done to fix it (eg, a very short cut) could be upsetting for them. Likewise some people might be very comfortable with, say, how short/tall they are and not mind jokes about it if they aren't mean-spirited.

  6. Intent is pretty important. I have a theory that friends bust eachother's chops for the same reason that dogs or other animals play fight. It's a way to simulate an actual threatening situation in a safe environment so when the real thing happens you're not totally unfamiliar with it. It's a mistake to not let boys rough house when raising them. It's in our DNA, it should be the parents job to not let them get too carried away which of course can be a fine line to walk.

  7. Quick question...my best friend has long had a buzz cut. He's got a widows peak so he's always kept his hair short and it looks great.

  8. I agree with you. I am balding and have been since my early 20’s it runs in my family and sadly I am the only one who got it from my dad out of my 3 other brothers. My bald spot looks like a fat dick when seen from above. I tell people who make fun of it, “you make fun of the dick, now I’m going to be a dick.”

  9. And stop rubbing our domes uninvited. Y'all of you need to keep your hands to yourselves. Didn't they teach that in kindergarten?

  10. My dad's bald, and fortunately I've never seen anybody make fun of him for it, but if they did I'd probably call them out for it, that shit is so god damn rude.

  11. Half of these types of questions make me feel bad that the OP's must hang out with nothing but toxic people.

  12. Well Will Smith made his career off of making fun of Uncle Phil's weight and baldness weekly,. I guess it's only funny if your getting paid for it not on the receiving end.

  13. Making fun of anyone for anything can be rude, but it can also be funny in the right context. It’s what separates a good joke from a bad one.

  14. Im going bald since I'm 20. Currently im missing about a third of hair. Only thing helping me cope is having a laugh about it with others

  15. I'm bald af and I think there are exceptions for close friends. It's actually nice, in an inside joke sort of way. They know they're the only ones that I'll let it slide for. Plus bald jokes are pretty overplayed so it is usually a good one if any. Also others in the group will take short jokes etc so it comes around

  16. Sounds like somebody's gotta a case of the "sposedas." The fact is people don't call it out. And it doesn't answer the question.

  17. yeah that was quite a loaded question of OP. It's not accepted to make fun of hairloss in general, unless the bald one is fine with it

  18. Agreed. Making fun of people for their looks period is rude and just not okay. I think that discrimination based off of attractiveness is actually going to be one of the next waves of things we realize were actually messed up all along.

  19. Yeah. Male baldness is the butt of a lot of jokes on tv and movies, but making fun of someone's bald head to his face is bound to make the situation awkward. If the guy chooses to make jokes about it then fine, it depends on context.

  20. Yes, therefore making fun of an ugly person is rude, but making fun of fat people can still be funny.

  21. I know this is probably about the Oscars, but couldn’t Jada just get a hair transplant? Like it worked well on Elon Musk, and it is available for women too. Like I’d get it if she didn’t have money, but she’s a rich ass celebrity. Fuck even finasteride. There’s ways of getting around baldness nowadays, especially if you have cash.

  22. Yet it seems fine to talk shit about dick size, any degenerate male must have a "tiny dick" and if someone is succeeding at life they have Big Dick Energy

  23. In college I saw someone get hit with the "You get to make jokes about me being bald, but I can't make jokes about your busted teeth?" To be fair, it was between friends in a ribbing sort of way, but there was definitely an undercurrent of him being fed up with the jokes.

  24. I’ve been bald for a long time, I really can’t recall any time someone has used that as an insult against me.. jokingly or not. I have heard a few times “hey, nice haircut.” Every time the person who has said this to me was also bald.

  25. A beautifully awkward response I got to witness once: "I bet you're one of those creepers who rub pregnant womens bellies, huh? Gross, you're a gross person. I'm not here for your fetish, gross person." Then they put hand sani on their head and turned away. Brilliant.

  26. I have a friend who went bald in his early 20s. And he became the exact opposite, he would put me down every opportunity he could get, it was always a battle for him to prove his “superiority” over me, no matter how small or petty. I knew it was all because he felt so insecure about himself, but it was also annoying and toxic so we stopped being friends, and to this day he has no idea why we stopped hanging out.

  27. I have had a receding hairline since I was 22ish, I'm 29 now, luckily it's not thinning really, it's all seeming to just fuck off immediately, which makes it look a bit more normal. So like, I don't have this patch that's at the top of my forehead that's kinda there. My hair is either there or not if that makes sense.

  28. Same thing. Bald since early twenties. It's rare that somebody makes a comment, but it's never bothered me and they never get a laugh from anybody else when they do.

  29. What gets me even more is people (like my fat sister-in-law) who think that simply mentioning my baldness is the funniest joke ever. Talk about lazy humor! (Cue Steve Martin's "Roxanne" rant about people making fun of Cyrano's nose.)

  30. You should start saying "I'm doing chemo" just to fuck with them and watch them apologize. Then explain you aren't actually doing it but those kinds of jokes aren't okay. That's my plan for when my hair goes.

  31. Where do you live? I've been bald for a while now and have basically zero input from strangers about it, unless I bring it up first. Absolutely nobody has touched my head

  32. Bro. I'm short I get jokes on me daily about being short. It doesn't bother me at all. I roll with it, I laugh with them and I overall have a great time enjoying life. I simply don't care, and when and if it gets to the point of caring then I know I'm doomed. Roll with the punches, life can be cruel but also very rewarding if you don't sweat the small stuff. No pun intended

  33. Off-and-on bald woman here. I have alopecia areata and people really really notice. When I have a full head of hair, I'm told I look 'professional', 'nonthreatening' and 'pretty'. Strangers are friendly and even flirtatious. When my bald spots start showing, strangers recoil from me. When it spreads and I shave my head, strangers treat me with pity. When I wear a scarf, strangers act scared of me. When I wear a nice wig, I go broke. When I wear a hat or an affordable wig I'm told I look unprofessional. I have grown envious of bald men, because it seems like men's appearances affect their lives much less. I wish I could just be ugly in peace.

  34. This is so true. As a guy who started getting bald early, I could just start shaving my head and own the situation (which is easier now than a couple of decades ago when shaved head=nazi).

  35. EIGHTY PERCENT of men will experience hair loss. It's not just less common for women, it's a near certainty in men and not at all in women.

  36. True, but then our conversation should be going to “she’s bald. It ain’t that bad” instead of “omg shes bald thats the same as cancer how dare he!” Normalize women being bald

  37. I started to go bald early at 16-17. The baldness was obvious by 18. I got so many jokes and comments from people at school and work. Luckily I had skipped a grade and graduated highschool a year early. Trust me, balding is only acceptable for a man at a certain age. It's far more acceptable to be bald now in my 30s than at 18.

  38. Only comment in the thread I've seen so far that really points out the root of this. Baldness is acceptable in men not because we think it's okay for men to be ugly, it's just super uncommon for a woman to be bald.

  39. Because society more closely ties value to hair for women than for men.... Think of how many hair commercials for women you see vs hair commercials for men.

  40. I think a lot of what people are missing in this thread is that what matters isn't just the value of hair it's the value of appearance overall. Men's appearances aren't ignored, but women's appearances are much more emphasized in terms of their overall value as a person. So anything that makes a person uglier (by mainstream standards) is going to be more emotionally impactful for all but a small portion of women who have evaded this pressure and a small portion of men who have adopted a similar centrality of beauty. Losing your hair might lower physical attractiveness for both men and women equally (not sure if that's even true) but there's generally less at stake, socially for men.

  41. This is the answer. I feel like I’m our quest for equality we often lose sight of the nuances. But this is one- it’s more devastating for a woman to lose their hair than a man. Its not all women some women take it easily and it’s not or men, some take it incredibly hard- but in general, the social expectations and norms are such that a woman will have a harder time with this overall than a man.

  42. And it's not only hair, its beauty in general. As wrong as it is, society has said for a long time that the chief asset of women is their beauty. It sucks and is painful for both sides to to lose their hair, but its less culturally acceptable for women to do so on top of that. A woman cant just find a few bald spots and say, "Well, I guess I'll just cut the rest off and see how that works."

  43. And to further your point, in particular in the United States there is a lot of cultural meaning surrounding Black women's hair. I'm white so it's not for me to speak on in any depth, but the literal policing of (typically) non-european hair textures has contributed to the very specific importance and meaning of hair in Black communities.

  44. I love how the top comment is “it’s not okay” followed by dozens of comments of “it’s not okay.. to make fun of women.”

  45. Both are rude, really. But women's value are much more closely tied to their physical appearance. A woman who loses her hair is way more diminished than a man who loses his hair.

  46. Also one is a lot more rare than the other. If you walk into a cross sectional room you’re likely to see a bald guy and unlikely to see a bald woman.

  47. On a technical note, perceived value. Women and men having a certain value are all dependent on societal norms.

  48. Agreeing this is the root of the answer. It’s about how hair loss affects the status, value, social standing, and limitations of women vs. men. Hair is deeply tied to looks for women and looks are deeply tied to women’s value and what opportunities they might have in life. Quick example is just the math on what women can spend on salon and dying hair. It’s sticker shock to most men who aren’t aware.

  49. I was laughed and joked at mercilessly by almost everyone when I started losing hair in my mid 20s. It was frequent enough I started suffering suicidal ideation.

  50. I don’t think either are particularly okay to joke about unless you know the person specifically and they are okay with it.

  51. As a bald man, I don't give a single shit what anyone thinks about it. I'm comfortable with it. I don't have to worry about things like hairstyles, or doing my hair, or paying someone to keep it cut. It keeps me cool when I would otherwise be sweating my ass off in the summer.

  52. Rude either way. But it's touchier for women because for so long women's worth has been so tied up with others' valuation of their appearance in a way that men's has not. Men have insecurities about their looks but are much less likely to suffer professionally or socially if others perceive them as unattractive. Then there's the fact that baldness is largely associated with masculinity. And, aside from the social policing that demands women be "attractive" there's an added layer that prohibits them from being "masculine." TLDR: historically, a bald woman has had much more chance of being ostracized or missing out on opportunities just because of her baldness than a bald man does (not to mention one is a disease and the other is not)

  53. I have thinning hair since my 20, never got made fun of. Idk where you people live where its considered normal to make fun of balding young men.

  54. I think the honest answer for me is: bald guys are more normal, but when people see a bald woman they first think either sick (leukemia) or counter culture / alternative punk style. Alopecia for women is more rare and not as publicly visible. I also think women are more likely to use a wig, which helps with self esteem but doesn't help public awareness.

  55. As a dude who started balding at 16 and is fully bald at 26, it is genuinely a constant occurrence, people making fun of me for balding. It’s damn silly and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel like shit.

  56. I have alopecia areata and my lifespan/quality of life is completely normal. Are you referring to the fact that having 1 auto-immune disease can cause development of more? Alopecia areata itself isn’t deadly at all.

  57. Hot take but people shouldn’t be ridiculed or treated poorly about things that they have no control over. Humans suck though, so it will remain a problem.

  58. Why is asking a woman’s weight considered rude but asking a man’s height not? You see this a lot on the tinder subreddit.

  59. I'd say it's just a case of the societal norm still being that women are sensitive and need to be protected, while men don't have feelings and just need to man up and take it or w/e. there are exceptions but usually if something shitty happens to a man it's just considered funny to women and other men. if a guy laughs at the same thing happening to a woman, women and other men rush to protect her.

  60. Something being more common for one gender doesn't make it less traumatizing. Otherwise by that logic you're implying women shouldn't be too bothered about sexual assault.

  61. Just like how it's seemingly ok to make fun of me for being skinny but it's not ok to make fun of the fat guy. Both of us are struggling to get our weight on track and the skinny jabs can hurt.

  62. At least traditionally, a women’s appearance was a much bigger part of their value than for men in society.

  63. I think it’s because hair loss is more rare in women and can be more traumatic for them. It’s probably wrong to make jokes about it in either scenario because you can’t really control it.

  64. Both are bad to make fun of ofc, but at the end of the day (like lots of others are mentioning) women often feel their self image attached to their hair.

  65. Because there is still a prevailing ideology that women should be treated gently but men can take a little abuse.

  66. I'd say a lot. For some reason, a man getting kicked in the groin has always been played for laughs, despite the potential for irreparable damage. Men are just expected to take anything thrown at them, whether it be physical or verbal.

  67. Yep: cutting off a man's penis can be joked about on day time TV. Tell a woman she has short hair, get a slap.

  68. Because of the number of people affected. When it's a 'normal' thing to occur, it becomes more acceptable to joke about it, because it's not stigmatised as some weird abnormal thing that is happening to someone.

  69. Lots of men including myself have male pattern baldness, it’s not out of the ordinary and is a natural part of getting older that many/most men face.

  70. In my experience, hair is much more part of a woman's identity. It is normal for men to be bald, or to shave their heads. For women, it's often traumatising. The beauty standards are much, much higher.

  71. People don't understand that it's extremely uncommon for men to go completely bald in their teens or twenties. Guess what, it can be traumatising for a guy as well, the display of youthfulness and health is very important for guys, too.

  72. Many women fly their hair like a flag of honor, rightfully so because great hair is awesome. For it to fall out must cause much emotional distress since so much emphasis is put on women's beauty by men and other women. No one gives a shit about how men feel about their hair. They can shave it all off and still maybe pull it off, plus we are just expected to absorb every shitty thing that happens to us since so much emphasis is put on men not acting like a pussy and complaining when bad things happen to them.

  73. Because there’s a hierarchy to race, gender, sexual orientation, and other factors. The more of a minority or historically discriminated against you are, the more socially unacceptable it is for anyone to make fun of you.

  74. I read a column written by an ad exec like 20 years ago and he said they make fun of white men because they are the only group that doesn't get up in arms and throw temper tantrums and sue.

  75. Men can still be seen as masculine without hair, but a bald woman may be made to feel less feminine because she has no hair, and hair is something women are expected to be prized for.

  76. Can you imagine how differently the Oscars ceremony would have gone if Will Smith had slapped a female host?

  77. Because Jada smith… alopecia is caused by hair extensions, and I have no sympathy for her she can buy a hundred thousand dollar wig she has the money, so no she’s not a victim of any horrible disease, she could make the problem disappear in an afternoon.

  78. I'm a male with severe alopecia and lost 90% of all of my hair. I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. I don't care if anyone jokes about it. At least I don't have to shave downstairs 👍

  79. Because if everything was fair we wouldn’t have petty bullshit to pretend to be outraged by and that would mean people would have to focus on shit that actually matters. And THAT would mean people of all walks of life were aware of issues that they could act on and make a positive change in the world.

  80. My husband took Jada Smith's side just because of how sensitive he is about his hair (honestly, it looks gorgeous to me). He was so offended that someone would make fun of balding that I was confused at first. But it's a self image thing. People who make fun of others for things they cannot help are being cruel. If it's a choice I make I'll take being made fun of, but if it's something outside of my ability to change it's very rude. I think because balding is common on males, people often assume that shaving the whole head is a voluntary choice, where with women hair is much more prized the longer it is so a shaved head is seen as involuntary.

  81. If bald jokes are too edgy you aren’t leaving much room for comedy. I get not liking it personally but that doesn’t make it not okay. I don’t understand people who think there are subject matters that are “not okay” in art.

  82. I'm generally pretty liberal and believe in a certain amount of political correctness, but there is a line that is very vague and fuzzy that has to be understood in whether a joke is made with the intent of pure humor or with the intent to hurt with humor being only a thin veil to make it more socially acceptable. Example, I'm a white cis male from the south. If a someone makes a joke about dumb rednecks and incest, I can find that funny, as long as it's clear it's being made is jest.

  83. I’ve had Alopecia since I was 3. Nobody cared. I don’t even care. I have the auto immune version, not stressed induced like her cause she running around on Will

  84. Because of two reasons. 1. Generally women’s appearance is valued more than mens. Its considered more taboo to ask a woman anything about her appearance. Ie “don’t ask a women her age”, “don’t ask a women her weight” etc.

  85. I break the "don't ask a woman her age" "rule" quite often, and have since my early 20s. Asking a woman her age keeps you out of prison for statutory rape.

  86. Balding is considered part of the "natural" aging process for men, so bald jokes are really just old people jokes in disguise. And society, for better or worse, is perfectly fine with making fun of old people.

  87. I don’t know. But bald men are typically considered attractive. It is also socially acceptable. Bald women have cancer, are old, ugly- just unhealthy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin